2012 in review

Happy 2013 everyone. Ralph x 🙂

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 10,000 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 17 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

I Will …………

No New Year's Resolutions
No New Year’s Resolutions

Many New Year resolutions are broken in a matter of minutes. Therefore I will make no new resolutions then they will NEVER be broken.

So I won’t say :-

I Will ………..

  1. Not give up smoking. I will smoke for another 50 years then have a cigarette.
  2. Flirt with anyone who makes a comment whether he, she or it is a 38 year old dream woman or a 250 lb Sumo wrestler pretending to be a 38 year old dream woman.
  3. Find myself a woman friend whatever it takes. No chance !!
  4. Eventually buy my apartment, do it up and cool out on holiday. Where though ?
  5. Think of good posts which will amuse me ………… and no one else ??
  6. Join the French Foreign Legion Pensioners Regiment.
  7. Have a bath 3 times a year and they are due next Wednesday, Thursday and Friday !
  8. Think of something sensible to say this year. No chance !

What have I missed or got wrong ? It’s time for your help

Star the Mystic Kitten

Star the Mystic Kitten
Star the Mystic Kitten

Hello human bloggers. My name is Star and I am a special kitten. You humans will be celebrating 2013 and I have the ability of reading your future from what you write in the comments. I am usually asleep on Daddy’s lap until he wakes me up to tell me what you have written. I then consult my feeding bowl and then tell Daddy my answer to your question by my extraordinary psychic powers and telethought. I usually know the answers before you ask. But I will wait for you to talk to me first in this case.

Ask me a question !!!!!

Love Star …… *purr* 😉

My Christmas Message

Christmas is not about presents but the gifts of friendship and the birth of Christ
Christmas is not about presents but the gifts of friendship and the birth of Christ

I would love to send you all one gift and that gift to me is special, has meaning especially over this Christmas holiday period. The gift I offer you is my friendship, love and respect. There is no bright packaging, no ribbons, no tree, no shopping, no present, no stress and most of all no conditions, just my hand out in friendship.

So I wish you all, in whatever country you live,  or religion, or colour, or language you speak, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and prosperous New Year and may that wish with peace and love continue forever.

My love and hugs. Ralph xxx

Ralph’s Big Blog Experiment

Blogaholics Anonymous

Welcome to Blogaholics Anonymous
Welcome to Blogaholics Anonymous

Welcome to Blogaholics Anonymous

Meetings above the Chinese Restaurant in Bluefish Way

Weekly Mon-Sun Open All Hours

Be secretive
Be secretive

Hi. My name is Ralph and I am a Blogaholic. I just can’t help myself. I really do need your help as I am so desperate for more Likes, Comments and Followers. My eyes are glued to the notifier. There is nowhere else to look. I had to come here secretly, coat collar folded up, hat down over my eyes for I am sure my neighbours suspect something.

My day is a disaster. I wake up with my cat Sonic’s nose against mine puffing away. No time for a play as I am busting to go to the loo. I get up. Samantha, my other cat is curled up on my dressing gown and like the party trick of pulling a table cloth quickly from under plates and glasses I retrieve my dressing gown. Good. Samantha didn’t notice. I shuffle into the other room, dressing gown and slippers half on, to my laptop which I  quickly open and switch on. Then on into the kitchen to switch on the kettle. By then it’s an emergency dive into the bathroom. That’s better. A quick wash. Tripping over Sonic I head back to my laptop.

Two likes, four comments. A quick read, three on that post, one on another. I will answer the singleton first and the other three together. I am good at planning. The kettle clicks. Back into the kitchen and make the best coffee of the day. I look around. Last night’s washing up to be done,  the bed to be made, cat’s breakfast, get shaved and dressed. Oh. Hang on. I haven’t checked my mail yet. All these chores I will do in a minute.

I open up my Outlook. 57 emails, 7  proper emails, the rest comments. Drat. Most not for my blog. I need to get these chores done and pop down to the store for food. Okay. Later. I’ll just answer these two emails and reply to those comments and I’ll get busy with those chores. Oh. A new post by Have I Got Socks For You. That looks interesting. I will have a look at that now.

Evening falls. Three cups of coffee and a couple of empty plates on the desk. Sonic on my lap. OMG  I’ve not done a thing around the house. I put my laptop to sleep and an hour later all  is spick and span around the apartment. The store is closed, tomorrow then for definite. The evening turns to early morning. 3am. Got to go to bed. I can’t see straight anymore. Goodnight.

So this is why I have joined Blogaholics Anonymous as I want MORE of this every day !!!

You are nowhere as near as blogaholic as I am, are you ? Or are you worse ?

It’s Official. I am a Flirt !!

I was born to flirt button
It’s Official

Again it is time for more fun and hugs. I have been told in no uncertain terms that I am a Natural Flirt. Who me ?

Out of the blue a couple of days ago I received an email from a young Lady whose husband told her that our conversations were over the top and that we had to tone it down. Thinking that the Lady was in trouble I wrote back taking full responsibility for what took place between us. Expecting to hear no more from her I resumed blogging. My notifier rang and a reply had arrived. Uh oh. I thought !!

Cutting the email short, it transpires that she thinks that I am a Natural Flirt, she enjoys talking to me as we both give as good as we get. That she is a flirt, married for years and it spices up her life. I admitted to her that I enjoy the fun that we have and that she was not alone as I like to play with anyone.

I really haven’t a clue what flirting means except it may mean that conversations move beyond the bounds of  blogging politeness and decorum. Away from …….I like your post …….. thank you for liking me ……….. you are now my best friend ………..  I will follow you for ever.

Most of you know me by now and you know that I am not like that. I try to add a little more, pick up on any innuendo, but at least I have not stepped over any boundaries. Should I ?? Would you risque commenting ? Would it spice up your life ? Or shall I answer and comment as I have done in the past ?

Oh well, that’s my followers reduced to zero by husbands unfollowing me !! I will just flirt with myself then .

Ralph’s Birthday Party

We had a lot of fun last night in La Fuenta Bar, Cortes de la Frontera, celebrating my 66th Birthday, the End of the World and the gathering of friends both Spanish and us foreigners. I want to thank Sara and Antonio for allowing me the use of the bar and their wonderful meal and service. Also thanks to Hilda for organising it all and Pedro who drove most of us to and from the party.

I would have loved to have had all my blogging friends there as well. That would have been special.

The party is over but on this post it has just begun.

Apologies for David the Cameraman for his usual sideways presentation at the beginning but he righted it eventually.

Lovely cake. Thank you.

Would you have come to my party ? I missed you not being there

Dear Ralph

Santa never replies but Ralph will.

What is your dream & desire ?

You may sit on my knee while you ask Ralph, but I wouldn’t recommend it !

So what do you want ?

Have Fun !!

Uh Oh !!

This post started innocently a few days ago when I posted a slideshow of the Penthouse I am buying. The first picture was of the bathroom with the toilet seat up and was immediately picked up by Katie and the comments degenerated DOWN !! An “uh oh” moment for me to fend off comments, not about the apartment, but whether the seat should be down.

Seat up

Have you had an “uh oh” moment that you wished that never happened ? Such as:-

1) You stepped on and crushed the remote control for the TV when your other half was about to watch the Game of the Century

2) You dented your other half’s pride and joy…his car.

3) You told your other half that her dress showed her bulges.

4) You threw away your other half’s collection of comic books

Well, did you ??



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