Sometimes I get confused and fabricate typos in my mind. So before you whack your keyboard on my head to try to heal me, 🎶ommm🎶, here is a beautiful love song from me to you.
Home and Away 1988 TV theme – full version performed by Mark Williams and Karen Boddington
I just love the way the sax comes in at 02:33. 🎷
Hang on a minute Sonic, I’m drafting a post.
You know what it’s like, you buy something nowadays which you think will last for 2 generations and it falls to bits after a couple of uses, which so happened to be my toilet brush.
Just a tick Sonic.
I needed to go down the mountains to my bank on the Spanish southern coast and while there I’d buy a new toilet brush as I was fed up with fishing the hedgehog out of the bowl.
Pipe down cat !
Pedro & Toni (my young neighbours) and I had a lovely day shopping on the coast near Gibraltar.
Okay, what’s the emergency Sonic ?
Alright ! ALRIGHT ! There you go Sonic.
Oh no ! Greasy pawprints all over the laptop screen AGAIN !
And so I returned home with a new toilet brush. I was so happy ! (note the extra Costa Del Sol dust given away free by the supermarket. The Spanish are so generous !)
Ooops I forgot ! AND a new smart TV. I bought it as it had a wife in the box. NO WIFE, just wifi ! Sad. (I must get some reading glasses !).
Windows 10 refuses to load my old Canon printer CD disc (of Windows XP era) , the printer is useless. Bloomin’ Windows ! So …..
…. I brought home a new printer which also had a wife in the box. Two wives so far ! I am really a sad person, aren’t I ?
ANDDDD I bought a new camera, as important buttons on my old camera refused to be pressed.
Oh, and lots of bits and pieces. It’s a man thing !
And that lot came to €1200 (approx same in US$). All I went for was a new toilet brush ! Oh boy !
Of course I did. 12 cans of scrumptious fish in gravy.
The criteria you must meet are >>>>
Be a really, really fast worker.
Vital Statistics: 36Mb – 24Mb – 36Mb
Be able to multitask. Do many things at once.
Keep me happy in my office chair, sofa and bed 24/7.
Ralph xox ❤
It all started over parking !
Funny, but what occurred between my neighbours is serious and ongoing.
To set the scene, the building I live in is in two halves. One side is a 3 storey single property and my side is divided into three apartments. The two cats and I own the top apartment.
…. Pedro …
…. and their three children ….
…. live just below me. And the ground floor apartment is hardly used.
New neighbours from another country in Europe, (whom I will call NewN from now on) moved into the large half next door. I got on well with the husband, chatting in English. THEN one lunchtime I heard shouting. The NewN wife was screaming from her front balcony at Toni in the street to move Pedro’s car parked on the other side of the road of their house perfectly legally (no yellow lines and Pedro had parked his car there for years).
Toni said nothing. Returned to her apartment, got the keys and moved the car. Then Toni got into her car and drove off to pick up her kids from school. The NewN wife still shouting at the disappearing car. Other locals and I were shocked at the verbal abuse.
Pedro, upset, parked his car day after day in his usual spot across the road from the NewN home. The wife or husband never spoke to Pedro. The wife concentrated on Toni and her children, even frightening Ariadne by screaming out of the NewN window, “STUPIDO, UNEDUCATED !“, threatening Toni by saying, “You had better be careful when driving at night” and terrifying Liam who woke up crying at 04:30 by almighty banging on the concrete wall from the NewN half of the building. How awful !
The NewN had local Spanish builders working in their house from day one who are always desperate for money. The builders are the only local friends that NewN now have, socialising with them in the evenings. One morning yellow lines were painted on both sides of the road in front of their house.
This, of course, is illegal. No signs. No authority from the many different agencies overseeing this area just outside this Spanish village boundary.
Pedro parked his car butted up to the yellow line.
One morning, just before Christmas. Yes, just before Christmas ! We woke up to find ALL four of Pedro’s car tyres slashed.
I had had enough. I told one of the Spanish builders that the whole situation was really bad. He turned bright red, squirmed, but said nothing !
I then rung the NewN doorbell. The NewN wife came to the door. I told her that I knew that she had had the tyres slashed as she was the only person to ever be really nasty to this young family. “It wasn’t me. I don’t care !” slamming the door in my face.
Soon after, the recovery truck arrived. Luckily for Pedro the insurance paid for that, but not for the replacement tyres. €240 (about the same in US dollars). As I said, just before Christmas !
Spanish locals gathered to watch while the car was being winched onto the truck. THEN from her front balcony the NewN wife started screaming at Toni’s father ! Everyone was shocked, astounded by the ravings of this banshee, the father said nothing.
Later, the local police could do nothing about the tyres as nobody saw anything, but they did question the NewN wife over the verbal abuse, who said to police, “There is no problem. We are the best of friends with our neighbours. We are buddies !“. Oh boy !
Since that day the NewN have gone totally quiet. I even tried to say good morning to the NewN husband yesterday, but got the cold shoulder. So much for “Love thy neighbour as thyself !”.
I promise not to laugh when the NewN wife wearing only indoor clothes and a black plastic garbage bag on her head (Batman’s nun) is sweeping the street in the pouring rain.
I promise not to be brainwashed listening to the NewN wife playing her 8 note piano … the same scale, up and down, (nothing else !) for hours on end sometimes.
I promise ………. OMG, shoot me someone !
Ralph xox ❤
I know ! Not a lot of fun in this post. I hummed and haa’ed over whether I should publish it. In the end I decided that I should as it is life in my Spanish village. BTW, fun post next time 🙂
As it’s a New Year, I think you cats should change your ways so that our readers can see that you are being good, kind and helpful to me. Make me proud, cats !
Awww ! Really ? You guys are really sweet !
It’s a sad moment to say goodbye to two couples, friends, who are leaving this village for pastures new.
Brian and Monica are giving up the vineyard and moving back to the UK as Monica needs to be close to family.
And secondly, David and Hilda. Yes, my close friends David and Hilda ! Their home is sold and are moving to another town in Andalucia, Spàin this week. (10 cats are going with them !)
I will miss you. Goodbye dear friends.
Another milestone ! 2,500 followers ! Most of which are “ghosts”. A single Follow email and that’s the last I have seen of them. BUT, about 150 of you visit or use your Reader to Like or say “Hi !”. Thank you so much for your love and support dear friends.
Try the top of my sidebar to follow. That one works !
I am so pleased that my cats are going to be good, kind and helpful.
WordPress !!! Oh no, not you as well !!!
So much for the change for the better ! I give up !
Ralph xox ❤
WARNING: This is a very long post.
The day of my 70th started out so well. From then on it got so much better AFTER taking me 10 minutes to tie my shoe laces.
A car horn outside sounded, “Beep … Beeep … Beeeeeeeep !”
Wow ! Einar’s Mercedes ! Hilda, my party organiser, tried to take the first photograph. As you can see she is
an expert highly professional very willing camerawoman.
(The same blooper happened to Carmen’s husband in this post)
Once the camera started taking photographs, Einar scooped me up and conveyed me around the village TWICE. I became quite giddy !
My village in southern Spain
Amazingly it was a lovely sunny, but cold afternoon. The day before and the day after it bucketed it down with rain. After passing every bar in the village Einar finally pulled up outside Pili Bar where my friends were waiting to greet me. What a surprise ! Can you see me in this photo ? Clue: hat !
An even extra surprise was this room. Thank you so much Hilda, Adrian & Louise for setting it up the evening before. Can you guess what my favourite colour is ?
After our traditional chicken & chips meal, Hilda poked me to say a few words
My speech started off well by me saying,
“I have lived in this village for 14 years and have made some marvellous friends. NOT YOU LOT !”
I did come out of that speech alive.
The “gang” ganged up and gave me a joint present. Can you guess what my favourite colour wrapping paper is ?
Yes, it was a painting of my two cats by Jim.
I was really touched.
Then in came the cake. Chocolate ! Followed by a Cheesecake !
Can you work out the party theme ?
Does Jim have a medical condition ? Green is not good !
Max, Hilda & Louise. Wine tasters.
Louise & Max
3 not so wise men. Jim, Adrian & Bill
Jenny leading to my alcoholic downfall ……….
……… through a drinking straw.
Is it a bird ? Is it a plane ? No, it’s Super-70 ! ………..
…… who just happened to land on Jenny’s lap.
Okay, I was naughty. Max whacked me with her wand and sent me home with no tea.
All say, “Me next !”.
On arriving home my organiser Hilda hung this wonderful picture for me in the hall.
Nope ! You are staying there behind the glass.
So now there is peace in my apartment until after Christmas.
“No hell, no hell, no he-ell ….”. Sing along cats !
Merry Christmas everyone !
Love & hugs.
❤ Samantha, Sonic, China Cat, CooCoo, Binbo and their long suffering human. ❤
You can’t blame me ‘cos I was kept in the dark about everything to do with the party.
Ralph xox ❤
Hello lovely bubblies. Yes, between you and me, we have exceeded 25000 approved comments over this blog’s four and a half years. 25000 ? Really ? I have no idea what we talked about as my memory has gone due to …..
Yes, today I am 70 years old; a day when everything goes downhill; a day when I lose my memory, forget to zip up my trousers, walk to the shops in my slippers and on arrival forget what I am there for; a day when I am known locally in this Spànish village for being the notorious English Unzipped Slipper-Wearing Forgetful Shopper. (I think it was the unzipped bit which swung it)
One amazing gift I received was from Sonata who must have taken forever to create the following. Thank you so, so much my friend 🙂
Did you spot your avatar ?
You are very welcome to vote as many times as you like in this poll.
If none of my suggestions ring your bell then I am sure you will comment later with your devious fun ideas. Can’t wait !
Hey cats ! Aren’t you going to wish me a happy birthday ?
I said ………
At least be a little bit enthusiastic.
No I didn’t ! You two should be giving me a present !
So much for turning 70. Nothing’s changed !
I am publishing this post really early on my birthday morning. Must get some sleep before my party this afternoon. Yes, there will be photos in my next post.
Now ! Where are my slippers ?
Ralph xox ❤
It’s really quiet here in the kitchen. I wonder what the cats are up to in my bedroom.
The music is “We Three Kings – Karaoke Christmas Song” (YouTube)
See what I have to put up with. Cats ! Who’d have them ! 🙂
Ralph xox ❤
Hi lovely bubblies. I’m back after 6 weeks … sort of. Okay, I know you are saying to yourself,
“Oh Nooooo !”
… but a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do … ruin your day !
My old laptop died so the Spanish technician told me after 5 weeks. To stay in touch with you I used a psychotic tablet that switched off in the middle of every long comment I pecked at letter by letter. Your posts loaded slower than snail mail. The list goes on. I was like a fish out of water or a heron on a roof top.
I tidied up the cupboards.
Shush Samantha ! I organised my paperwork.
For goodness sake, SHUT UP Samantha ! Toni, my neighbour, removed the hornets nests. I supervised of course.
Thanks Toni. Really most of my days were spent cleaning up after my cats.
I have a new laptop. It’s a crazy Spanish Windows 10 smartphone on steroids ! It took me days to set up the way I wanted in ENGLISH with a Spanish keyboard. THEN … I verified that I am who I am with Microsoft and decided to go to bed early and shut down with an update. Update … a little word, isn’t it ?. Oh boy, was I in for IT ! One hour of hypnotising English update spinning dots …
and three hours of Spanish spinning dots !
By then I was watching an imaginary spinning skirt instead of dots.
Finally at 5am, when, at last, I could see what these updates had done. The display and Start Menu had changed and most apps are now SPANISH ! Who wants an expensive Frisbee laptop ? 🙂
BUT … I will be strong, go forth with an English stiff upper lip, fix the ……..
Oh boy ! Some holiday ! 🙂
Ralph xox ❤
The spinning gifs are not mine.
I am disappointed. My good for nothing cats just lie around and sleep all day.
Even the sheep out the back, who the cats should be counting to go to sleep, are disappointed and have gone to sleep themselves as they are never counted and have got bored.
So I am going to change all that and bring in a strict exercise regime for my cats. But nothing like the way my Spanish friend, Manuel, exercises his dog Yaki (Yak Key).
Queen – Bicycle Race
Wake up cats ! Daddy is coming for you !
Sonic ! Stop pretending that you have stuff to do ! Come on into the bedroom we need to have a serious talk !
Right you three, you need to wake up and get some exercise. So Daddy has worked out a daily schedule to get you fit and healthy.
Okay, I can see your point China Cat. You are excused from exercising and you don’t have a wedgie. You have a WEDGE jammed under the bedroom door to stop it slamming in the wind and throwing you down the hall. These are wedgies !
Right you TWO ! This is how it is going to work.
When I wake up in the morning I’ll brush your fur as normal …..
…. then you will do an hour of yoga ….
…. followed by chasing your toys around the apartment until you drop
And if there is any slacking, you will do it all again in the afternoon. Got it ??
I’m going to make myself a coffee. Talk amongst yourselves and when I come back I want to hear a “Yes, Daddy, we are really happy to do lots of exercises”.
Right cats, ready for yourrrr ….. where’s Sonic ???
Ummm…yes ! You mean this Samantha ?
Sonic’s NOT on my laptop telling all my female readers ????? Nooooo !!!!
You rotten ….. okay, you win. No more talk about exercises. Call Sonic off !!
Oh boy !! *faint*
Sonic says Daddy is !
Ralph xox ❤
The gifs, yoga and cartoon were found on Google Search and are not mine.
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