Bluefish Way
The life of Ralph, Natascha and our cats
Retired Themes & China Cat’s Survey
~Retired Themes~
The other day my sidebar went haywire. I moaned and groaned opened up a new thread in the WordPress Forum. A Happiness Engineer responded. It seems that my theme (bought in 2012) is out-of-date, old software and has been retired, but they will try to fix any future problems until its totally unfixable. All new themes are geared up for tablets and smartphones, so prepare to read one photo/one line text posts. Glorified Twitter !
It seems that all old themes have been retired and may eventually die. I just hope that I don’t switch on my laptop one morning and find my blog in the WordPress obituary.
I may have to buy a new theme. I don’t want to ! *throwing tantrum*
Anyway, read all about it here in my WordPress Forum thread
~China Cat’s Survey~
Oh boy !
Could you cope with a retired, tantrum throwing, pet “loving” me ?
Ralph xox ❤
Karma & My Cats Greatest Sayings
~Karma~
And so it goes on ! The soap opera of my new neighbours (NewN) has escalated !
The builder friend of theirs (who we suspect knifed Pedro’s car tyres) is the only one who parks his car on the illegal yellow lines he had painted. There are no permissions or legal signs. Woe betide anyone else who parks there !
The other day the NewN wife apologised to Pedro, but too late as Karma was at work.
Just after midnight on the 23rd another almighty CRASH ! from next door in my Spanish village. So loud !
Morning came. It seems that someone doesn’t like the NewNs. There were rocks scattered on their first floor balcony and ……….
….. what looked like old engine oil thrown over their garage and front door. What a mess !
Karma had been busy ! And it wasn’t me ! This is my car 🙂
Enough of that ! Now for some fun !
~My Cats Greatest Sayings~
Now THAT is a quote worth remembering !
Well done Coo Coo !
Excellent China Cat !
NO ! Definitely not. There is no way I am going to publish your greatest sayings. Never, I repeat, NEVER !
Ummm …. okay. On second thoughts. Oh boy !
Is it you whom I am totally in love with ?
Don’t be shy 😊
Ralph xox ❤
Our Little Nest. My Valentine’s Day Post. Oh Boy !
💘 ~Our Little Nest~ 💘
As promised, this is my Valentine’s Day post, from me to only you as no-one else reads this blog anyway.
I have built us a little nest …
…. to keep the two of us snug and warm.
Hey, cut it out you three. This is meant to be a romantic post between me and my favourite female reader who is definitely a lady, possibly a lady, probably a lady, no way a lady, other than a lady. I haven’t quite worked her out yet.
Sweetie, you may use anything in the apartment ………
Cats ! Do you mind ? I want my favourite female reader to go wobbly at the knees over this post !
Honey, you are very welcome to use my internet, as well as watching live English speaking TV and thousands of the newest HD movies in English with Greek subtitles. GREEK SUBTITLES ! Heck, I’m English living in Spain ! If you can read Greek that’s a bonus. I can’t as it’s all Greek to me ! (Δεν μπορώ, όπως είναι όλα τα ελληνικά σε μένα!)
I’ve not yet seen that great musical Zebra The Greek, or the seafaring blockbuster Up The Greek Without A Paddle. Have you ? Maybe we can cuddle up and watch them together, then nothing would be done. No sleeping, eating, housework, showers or feeding the cats.
…..There are lots of naughty TV channels. You know, the ones that can make a man blind !
Why not Samantha ?
Yep !
SONIC !
I’ve gone blind now. I may need a caregiver at this rate. Now, where IS my laptop ?
Let’s go to the kitchen my dearest favourite reader.
Would you like a drink ? Wine ? Vinegar ? Olive oil ? Whatever tickles your fancy.
I have a large double bed which we can share.
Why Sonic ?
Typical ! You three have just ruined my post of love. You cats are like having a cuckoo in the little nest.
Heck ! Oh well, there is always next year.
Oh boy !
Do you … *sigh* … what’s the point.
Heehee. Happy Valentine’s Day ! 🙂 ❤
Ralph xox ❤
Update: Snow, Completion & Mad New Neighbour
~Snow~
It snowed overnight in my Spanish mountain village for one day this winter. All gone in a day. 18degC today.
~Completion~
So you want to buy or sell a house in Spain ? During the legal process expect a curve ball, something that makes you want to pull your hair out. This is just what happened to my friends David & Hilda who are living with their 10 cats & dog in temporary accomodation while the sale of their old home and purchase of the new are completed.
16 January 2017
Hola,
An update from us and how we’re trying to cope with the Spanish bureaucracy.
We moved out of our house last Thursday and are now living in ++++.
We’re adjusting to living high up on the wrong side of the valley where we don’t see the sunshine until around 11 am, burning around 20 logs or more daily trying to heat just one room, blocking the draughts from doors and windows and reminding ourselves that we’re having a break…well trying to.
However, you’ll be pleased to know that the cats and the dog are settled which is the main thing and at least it’s not raining. Oh! and we’re getting used to Spanish TV and lots of reading.
We should have gone to complete today ( Monday) but, surprise, surprise, obstacles have been put in our way to prevent this.
Firstly our ++++ went to the Town hall to collect a document which the ++++ should have had available on Thursday ( this confirms that we live outside the national park), but greeted ++++ with “I haven’t done this as I am too busy with other work”.
++++ returned on Friday and we’re still waiting to hear about the certificate, but in the meantime Friday evening we’re advised that we must produce the past 3 years of electricity bills, IBI, and have two witnesses ready to testify that we have lived in our house the past years . Everything is packed away including files in over 100 boxes….so we searched, did find them and took them to ++++’s office this morning questioning who exactly is asking for this? Seems it’s the ++++ who will make a 3% retention of monies unless they’re produced!
…so here we are waiting and our lives are on hold !
We will let you know as and when we have something to celebrate in the hope that something may happen this week
Love from
Us x
19 January 2017
Today we completed the sale of our house and here are photos taken this morning.
Hilda x
Views of the road down to my Spanish village.
David & Hilda’s last look at their old home.
Views from my front balcony that morning.
By the evening the snow had gone from the bottom of the valley where I live.
Latest email from Hilda.
04 February 2017
Just to let you know that finally we will be moving into our new house next Tuesday. We will forward our address once we are there. Can’t believe that we will have lived in three houses within four weeks !
Love Hilda x
~Mad New Neighbour~
Yes, after weeks of no noise at all from our new neighbours she kicked off again …. BIG TIME !
At 2045 hrs 02 February 2017 all was quiet. It was dark. I was sitting quietly on my sofa, the young neighbours below, not a peep ….. then ……
BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
On the WALL right NEXT to me ! So loud and continuous ! Frightened the life out of me ! I could just about make out that she was shouting. Baby Liam, asleep in the apartment below me, started crying. It stopped ! Then an even louder continuous metallic banging on her front balcony rail next to mine.
I shot out of the chair and was out onto my front balcony faster than Donald Trump signing an executive order. I said one thing, “I am going to call the police !” and went back indoors. I could hear doors slamming, gradually fading, as she worked her way downstairs. Then quiet.
I picked up my home phone. IT WAS DEAD ! Ooops, I forgot that the installer of my new internet provider had told me that it would take a week to transfer my phone number from the old IP to the new. Next Tuesday !
The young family and I decided to keep a record of her outbursts.
Anyway !
Are your tenders hooked in anticipation of my next post ?
Yes, my Valentine’s Day post !
Ralph xox ❤
The Wife, Wifi Or The €1200 Toilet Brush
❤ ~Love Song~ ❤
Sometimes I get confused and fabricate typos in my mind. So before you whack your keyboard on my head to try to heal me, 🎶ommm🎶, here is a beautiful love song from me to you.
Home and Away 1988 TV theme – full version performed by Mark Williams and Karen Boddington
I just love the way the sax comes in at 02:33. 🎷
Hang on a minute Sonic, I’m drafting a post.
~The €1200 Toilet Brush~
You know what it’s like, you buy something nowadays which you think will last for 2 generations and it falls to bits after a couple of uses, which so happened to be my toilet brush.
Just a tick Sonic.
I needed to go down the mountains to my bank on the Spanish southern coast and while there I’d buy a new toilet brush as I was fed up with fishing the hedgehog out of the bowl.
Pipe down cat !
Pedro & Toni (my young neighbours) and I had a lovely day shopping on the coast near Gibraltar.
Okay, what’s the emergency Sonic ?
Alright ! ALRIGHT ! There you go Sonic.
Oh no ! Greasy pawprints all over the laptop screen AGAIN !
And so I returned home with a new toilet brush. I was so happy ! (note the extra Costa Del Sol dust given away free by the supermarket. The Spanish are so generous !)
Ooops I forgot ! AND a new smart TV. I bought it as it had a wife in the box. NO WIFE, just wifi ! Sad. (I must get some reading glasses !).
Windows 10 refuses to load my old Canon printer CD disc (of Windows XP era) , the printer is useless. Bloomin’ Windows ! So …..
…. I brought home a new printer which also had a wife in the box. Two wives so far ! I am really a sad person, aren’t I ?
ANDDDD I bought a new camera, as important buttons on my old camera refused to be pressed.
Oh, and lots of bits and pieces. It’s a man thing !
And that lot came to €1200 (approx same in US$). All I went for was a new toilet brush ! Oh boy !
Of course I did. 12 cans of scrumptious fish in gravy.
So will you marry me and become my wifi ?
The criteria you must meet are >>>>
Be a really, really fast worker.
Vital Statistics: 36Mb – 24Mb – 36Mb
Be able to multitask. Do many things at once.
Never crash.
Keep me happy in my office chair, sofa and bed 24/7.
Are you up to it ?
Ralph xox ❤
New Neighbours
~New Neighbours~
It all started over parking !
Funny, but what occurred between my neighbours is serious and ongoing.
To set the scene, the building I live in is in two halves. One side is a 3 storey single property and my side is divided into three apartments. The two cats and I own the top apartment.
Toni …
…. Pedro …
…. and their three children ….
…. live just below me. And the ground floor apartment is hardly used.
New neighbours from another country in Europe, (whom I will call NewN from now on) moved into the large half next door. I got on well with the husband, chatting in English. THEN one lunchtime I heard shouting. The NewN wife was screaming from her front balcony at Toni in the street to move Pedro’s car parked on the other side of the road of their house perfectly legally (no yellow lines and Pedro had parked his car there for years).
Toni said nothing. Returned to her apartment, got the keys and moved the car. Then Toni got into her car and drove off to pick up her kids from school. The NewN wife still shouting at the disappearing car. Other locals and I were shocked at the verbal abuse.
Pedro, upset, parked his car day after day in his usual spot across the road from the NewN home. The wife or husband never spoke to Pedro. The wife concentrated on Toni and her children, even frightening Ariadne by screaming out of the NewN window, “STUPIDO, UNEDUCATED !“, threatening Toni by saying, “You had better be careful when driving at night” and terrifying Liam who woke up crying at 04:30 by almighty banging on the concrete wall from the NewN half of the building. How awful !
The NewN had local Spanish builders working in their house from day one who are always desperate for money. The builders are the only local friends that NewN now have, socialising with them in the evenings. One morning yellow lines were painted on both sides of the road in front of their house.
This, of course, is illegal. No signs. No authority from the many different agencies overseeing this area just outside this Spanish village boundary.
Pedro parked his car butted up to the yellow line.
One morning, just before Christmas. Yes, just before Christmas ! We woke up to find ALL four of Pedro’s car tyres slashed.
I had had enough. I told one of the Spanish builders that the whole situation was really bad. He turned bright red, squirmed, but said nothing !
I then rung the NewN doorbell. The NewN wife came to the door. I told her that I knew that she had had the tyres slashed as she was the only person to ever be really nasty to this young family. “It wasn’t me. I don’t care !” slamming the door in my face.
Soon after, the recovery truck arrived. Luckily for Pedro the insurance paid for that, but not for the replacement tyres. €240 (about the same in US dollars). As I said, just before Christmas !
Spanish locals gathered to watch while the car was being winched onto the truck. THEN from her front balcony the NewN wife started screaming at Toni’s father ! Everyone was shocked, astounded by the ravings of this banshee, the father said nothing.
Later, the local police could do nothing about the tyres as nobody saw anything, but they did question the NewN wife over the verbal abuse, who said to police, “There is no problem. We are the best of friends with our neighbours. We are buddies !“. Oh boy !
Since that day the NewN have gone totally quiet. I even tried to say good morning to the NewN husband yesterday, but got the cold shoulder. So much for “Love thy neighbour as thyself !”.
Pathetic !
I promise not to laugh when the NewN wife wearing only indoor clothes and a black plastic garbage bag on her head (Batman’s nun) is sweeping the street in the pouring rain.
I promise not to be brainwashed listening to the NewN wife playing her 8 note piano … the same scale, up and down, (nothing else !) for hours on end sometimes.
I promise ………. OMG, shoot me someone !
Do you have new neighbours like mine ?
Ralph xox ❤
I know ! Not a lot of fun in this post. I hummed and haa’ed over whether I should publish it. In the end I decided that I should as it is life in my Spanish village. BTW, fun post next time 🙂
Good, Goodbye, By The Way !
~Good~
As it’s a New Year, I think you cats should change your ways so that our readers can see that you are being good, kind and helpful to me. Make me proud, cats !
Awww ! Really ? You guys are really sweet !
Meanwhile ….
~Goodbye~
It’s a sad moment to say goodbye to two couples, friends, who are leaving this village for pastures new.
Brian and Monica are giving up the vineyard and moving back to the UK as Monica needs to be close to family.
And secondly, David and Hilda. Yes, my close friends David and Hilda ! Their home is sold and are moving to another town in Andalucia, Spàin this week. (10 cats are going with them !)
I will miss you. Goodbye dear friends.
~By The Way~
Another milestone ! 2,500 followers ! Most of which are “ghosts”. A single Follow email and that’s the last I have seen of them. BUT, about 150 of you visit or use your Reader to Like or say “Hi !”. Thank you so much for your love and support dear friends.
Try the top of my sidebar to follow. That one works !
I am so pleased that my cats are going to be good, kind and helpful.
WordPress !!! Oh no, not you as well !!!
So much for the change for the better ! I give up !
Do you live in a madhouse like mine ?
Ralph xox ❤
Photo Record Of My 70th Birthday Party 15Dec16
WARNING: This is a very long post.
The day of my 70th started out so well. From then on it got so much better AFTER taking me 10 minutes to tie my shoe laces.
A car horn outside sounded, “Beep … Beeep … Beeeeeeeep !”
~ Chauffeur driven madness ~
Wow ! Einar’s Mercedes ! Hilda, my party organiser, tried to take the first photograph. As you can see she is an expert highly professional very willing camerawoman.
(The same blooper happened to Carmen’s husband in this post)
Once the camera started taking photographs, Einar scooped me up and conveyed me around the village TWICE. I became quite giddy !
My village in southern Spain
~The Arrival~
Amazingly it was a lovely sunny, but cold afternoon. The day before and the day after it bucketed it down with rain. After passing every bar in the village Einar finally pulled up outside Pili Bar where my friends were waiting to greet me. What a surprise ! Can you see me in this photo ? Clue: hat !
An even extra surprise was this room. Thank you so much Hilda, Adrian & Louise for setting it up the evening before. Can you guess what my favourite colour is ?
~The Speech~
After our traditional chicken & chips meal, Hilda poked me to say a few words
My speech started off well by me saying,
“I have lived in this village for 14 years and have made some marvellous friends. NOT YOU LOT !”
I did come out of that speech alive.
~The Present~
The “gang” ganged up and gave me a joint present. Can you guess what my favourite colour wrapping paper is ?
Yes, it was a painting of my two cats by Jim.
(Do you remember his works in the breakfast cartoon and pictures in my apartment posts ?)
I was really touched.
~Two Cakes Ralph~
Then in came the cake. Chocolate ! Followed by a Cheesecake !
~Fun Time~
Can you work out the party theme ?
Does Jim have a medical condition ? Green is not good !
Max, Hilda & Louise. Wine tasters.
Louise & Max
Einar
3 not so wise men. Jim, Adrian & Bill
Jenny leading to my alcoholic downfall ……….
……… through a drinking straw.
Is it a bird ? Is it a plane ? No, it’s Super-70 ! ………..
…… who just happened to land on Jenny’s lap.
Okay, I was naughty. Max whacked me with her wand and sent me home with no tea.
All say, “Me next !”.
~On Returning Home~
On arriving home my organiser Hilda hung this wonderful picture for me in the hall.
Nope ! You are staying there behind the glass.
So now there is peace in my apartment until after Christmas.
“No hell, no hell, no he-ell ….”. Sing along cats !
Merry Christmas everyone !
Love & hugs.
❤ Samantha, Sonic, China Cat, CooCoo, Binbo and their long suffering human. ❤
I wish you could have come to my party. Why didn’t you ?
You can’t blame me ‘cos I was kept in the dark about everything to do with the party.
Ralph xox ❤
“We Three Cats” – A Song For Christmas
It’s really quiet here in the kitchen. I wonder what the cats are up to in my bedroom.
The music is “We Three Kings – Karaoke Christmas Song” (YouTube)
See what I have to put up with. Cats ! Who’d have them ! 🙂
What’s YOUR fun song with incredible original licks ?
Ralph xox ❤
No awards, no challenges, no tagging etc.. Please don’t nominate my blog as I’m lazy
Sonic practicing his Riverdance.
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About #2 (Austria) April 2018
25000 Plus 70 Equals ???
Posted on 15/12/2016 by Ralph
126 Comments
* 25000 comments *
Hello lovely bubblies. Yes, between you and me, we have exceeded 25000 approved comments over this blog’s four and a half years. 25000 ? Really ? I have no idea what we talked about as my memory has gone due to …..
* …. my 70th Birthday *
Yes, today I am 70 years old; a day when everything goes downhill; a day when I lose my memory, forget to zip up my trousers, walk to the shops in my slippers and on arrival forget what I am there for; a day when I am known locally in this Spànish village for being the notorious English Unzipped Slipper-Wearing Forgetful Shopper. (I think it was the unzipped bit which swung it)
One amazing gift I received was from Sonata who must have taken forever to create the following. Thank you so, so much my friend 🙂
Did you spot your avatar ?
You are very welcome to vote as many times as you like in this poll.
If none of my suggestions ring your bell then I am sure you will comment later with your devious fun ideas. Can’t wait !
Hey cats ! Aren’t you going to wish me a happy birthday ?
I said ………
At least be a little bit enthusiastic.
No I didn’t ! You two should be giving me a present !
So much for turning 70. Nothing’s changed !
I am publishing this post really early on my birthday morning. Must get some sleep before my party this afternoon. Yes, there will be photos in my next post.
Now ! Where are my slippers ?
Are you at an age when you wish you were older or younger, or more foolish or wiser ?
Ralph xox ❤
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