I really do love this old Premium Tapestry theme and DO NOT want to change it, but I have been advised to after a WordPress Com update screwed up my sidebar (now fixed).
A retired theme is a theme which has been removed from the WordPress Com theme list and may one day become totally unfixable.
How do you know if your theme has been retired ? Click on the three dots (…) in the “Customize/Edit/Stats” pop-up at the bottom of your screen. If you see no theme name it has been retired.
This blog has a theme name, so is on the theme list.
I found the best way is to wander around other blogs. Here’s a couple I’d like to try ….. THEMES !
I spent a while in the WordPress Forum Premium Theme Support checking for any problems which arose with the themes I fancied. I found the theme threads I wanted on the Premium Theme Support sidebar.
(This is the link to the Free Themes Support . It’s not so easy, so use the “Search” box.)
So I spent an hour or so preparing for the worst.
I opened a new file in my laptop and copied pretty much everything from my Dashboard into Notepads.
I spent a lot of time in “Widgets” copying the Media Library image links, plus the code in Text (especially Flag Counter). I did this because I’m worried that the Tapestry theme has two widget areas, Header Right & Primary Sidebar and any new theme might have something unexpected which might cause me problems.
I have hundreds of items in my Media Library and it would take forever to scroll down to find just one widget image. Text code would be impossible to replicate. So the copying could come in handy.
Time to visit and try out a new Premium theme, Phoebe & Samantha‘s NATURAL.
(The following process should be the same for all active premium & free themes).
In their blog, click on the three dots (…) in the “Follow” pop-up at the bottom of your screen. Click on “Get Theme”.
Click on “OPEN LIVE DEMO”
Click on ” Try & Customize”
For me a problem. A single blue fish image (the Tapestry Header Right widget) in the right sidebar. The rest of the widgets have disappeared, not in the footers, nowhere ! A complete widget/sidebar rebuild needed.
Okay. I’ll try Wendy‘s BASKERVILLE 2 Premium theme.
Same as before, three dots, get theme.
Damn ! Single blue fish in the sidebar …….. BUT !
Yay ! All the other widgets are in the footer (below the comments)
Before I “Customize and Save & Activate” a new theme, do I >>>
1. Stay with my old TAPESTRY theme until a future WordPress Com update turns it into a train wreck where it will sag into a soggy mess, dribbling out of the screen, ruining my laptop keyboard ?
2. Go with Phoebe & Samantha‘s NATURAL theme which needs a total widget/sidebar rebuild ?
or 3. Wendy‘s BASKERVILLE 2 theme ? All the widgets are there. I just need to be able to access the theme’s Dashboard and hope that I can drag and drop the widgets from the footer to the sidebar.
I will need to meditate after writing this post. This song should help. Ommmm !
Pure Imagination – Jackie Evancho
Ommmm ! Oh my god !
Ommmm ! ‘flippin’ WordPress !
That’s better ! Meditation works ! *ommmm, mutter, mutter*
Ralph xox ❤
This post is as is, just to give you an idea of what to do and what problems you might encounter. You may have NO problems at all with a free single sidebar theme.
Please reblog or share this as you probably have a blogging aunt, who nobody talks about, locked in your attic and she needs to know ! Oh, you ARE that aunt ! Ooops !
I was fooling around yesterday evening. I was trying out NATURAL theme, customising, got tired and thought I was saving what I had done. OMG !
I PRESSED “SAVE & ACTIVATE” !
Heck, what a mess ! I was up ALL NIGHT getting my blog straight.
Well ? What do you think ?
I was in the process of setting up the photos for another post when I had to break off and tell you this.
When the local Spanish town hall was asked why the illegal yellow lines in the street painted by my new neighbours (NewNs) have not been eradicated after so many months, they said ………
….. “We know it is illegal. We are not going to black out the lines because in the future the NewNs might apply for yellow lines. Approval may possibly be given. If all the criteria are met we won’t have to paint the yellow lines again, will we ?”
Is this Sensible, Illegal, Logical, Laziness, or just a
joke Yoke ?
“SILLY” I reckon !
Oh, and there’s more !
In a previous post someone suggested installing CCTV to monitor Pedro’s car in case the tyres were slashed again.
After extensive research on using CCTV in Spain I found that CCTV is okay for viewing one’s own private property. Viewing neighbours, public streets and pathways are a no-no. Very naughty ! Really BIG fines !
Guess who just installed 4 cameras monitoring our street, my street door and public pathway beside their house ? My NewNs !
Normally I wouldn’t mind, but what happens if one of you tiptoes in to visit me from your country for a weekend secret rendezvous d’amor ? …. (translation: you’ve come to borrow money 🙂 )
Oh, and there’s more !
Okay ! The NewNs think that they now have total control of 2 sides of their house. The public path has cameras. The street has cameras and yellow lines. Now they are trying to control the 3rd side which happens to be me, the young Spanish family below and their father (who lives elsewhere in this Spanish village).
How do they do it ? Simple. In conjunction with the two Spanish builders (who have been jack-hammering for the NewNs for months in this work impoverished Spanish village and have to go along with whatever the NewNs say. Money talks !) they visited the Guardia Civil (Spanish “military” police) and made out a denuncia (a legal complaint) against me and the 3 Spaniards as a group complaint. We have done nothing except live our lives normally and are still doing so. BTW, if a denuncia is proved to be false, heavy fines and/or prison awaits.
As the Guardia Civil have not yet seen me or informed me directly of the contents of the denuncia (probably can’t climb the stairway to my apartment as they are in a heap on the floor due to excessive laughter) I am in a position to relate some gems within the denuncia. Such as >>>
Complaints against me
He is jealous of our house.
Me bad ! Is it because I am English ?
He bangs on our wall.
Me bad ! Sorry for the echo of you banging on my wall.
He is not nice to me when we talked on the balcony.
Me bad ! I must be nicer to you when I walk away while you were saying nasty things about Toni and another time after your horrendous late night banging which woke up and made a baby boy cry.
Complaint against Toni
When I speak to her nicely, she ignores me.
She bad ! I am sure that in the future she will ignore you when you nicely shout abuse at her.
Complaint against Pedro
He parked his car in our bit of the street.
He bad ! I am sure that in the future that he will park his car legally in the street. Oh, that is ALL the street !
Complaint against Toni’s father
He glowered at me.
He bad ! I am sure that next time you shout abuse at him from your balcony he will glower at you nicely.
There is a fourth side to the NewNs house …. a field !
Oh boy !
Ralph xox ❤
If you read this post I may have to kill you …. pleasurably.
Cue music !
Do you remember my €1200 Toilet Brush post when I bought a new Samsung Smart TV ?
Well, it seems that the CIA and MI5 listen to me when my TV is TURNED OFF !!!
Click on the picture below for more information
If you read this file I may have to kill you …. ecstatically
Agent Jane’s Blonde has been assigned to listen in to Ralph’s home.
Working in Room 36.24.36 adjacent to the Navel Attache in the CIA headquarters, Dangley, USA, she monitors Ralph day and night.
AJB is highly trained and is at the foot of a successful career ladder.
She came first in Disguises Class. No-one knows what she really looks like as she can change her look in an instant.
She excelled in her latest course on Interrogation. Tippex’ing teeth always produced results.
If you see what is in this Room, I may have to kill you …. excitedly
Many weeks of training in Room 36.24.36 preceded her assignment of listening in to Ralph’s conversations. She is now skilled at pressing the Red Button after the odd mishap.
Such as ….
…. and ….
She finally made the Red Button grade with the unwavering help of ABC, her mentor.
If you find out I may have to kill you …. strokingly
My TV is now off.
Agent Jane’s Blonde: Quick ABC ! Press the Red Button and I’ll start recording !
Agent Button Cat: Okay Boss !
Cue Siren !
Dangley immediately goes on shut-down. Ralph’s words are piped thoughout the complex. Thousands of CIA employees stop what they’re doing (having a snooze) and stare at the speakers in anticipation of Ralph’s immortal words. Such as >>>
Will you stop trying to rip off my shirt !
I like it when you wriggle on my lap, it makes me hot !
No ! Licking my nose will not hurry me up to get your supper.
Whatever turns you on. Sniffing my slipper ? Whatever !
No ! You can’t eat my sandwich. Go and have a biscuit !
I know you get excited, but do stop scratching my leg !
Right ! Bedtime ! Coming ?
Oh boy !
Ralph xox ❤
All the images, MP3s and gifs are not mine, but my cats are ! Oh boy !
The other day my sidebar went haywire. I
moaned and groaned opened up a new thread in the WordPress Forum. A Happiness Engineer responded. It seems that my theme (bought in 2012) is out-of-date, old software and has been retired, but they will try to fix any future problems until its totally unfixable. All new themes are geared up for tablets and smartphones, so prepare to read one photo/one line text posts. Glorified Twitter !
It seems that all old themes have been retired and may eventually die. I just hope that I don’t switch on my laptop one morning and find my blog in the WordPress obituary.
I may have to buy a new theme. I don’t want to ! *throwing tantrum*
Anyway, read all about it here in my WordPress Forum thread
Oh boy !
Ralph xox ❤
And so it goes on ! The soap opera of my new neighbours (NewN) has escalated !
The builder friend of theirs (who we suspect knifed Pedro’s car tyres) is the only one who parks his car on the illegal yellow lines he had painted. There are no permissions or legal signs. Woe betide anyone else who parks there !
The other day the NewN wife apologised to Pedro, but too late as Karma was at work.
Just after midnight on the 23rd another almighty CRASH ! from next door in my Spanish village. So loud !
Morning came. It seems that someone doesn’t like the NewNs. There were rocks scattered on their first floor balcony and ……….
….. what looked like old engine oil thrown over their garage and front door. What a mess !
Karma had been busy ! And it wasn’t me ! This is my car 🙂
Enough of that ! Now for some fun !
Now THAT is a quote worth remembering !
Well done Coo Coo !
Excellent China Cat !
NO ! Definitely not. There is no way I am going to publish your greatest sayings. Never, I repeat, NEVER !
Ummm …. okay. On second thoughts. Oh boy !
Don’t be shy 😊
Ralph xox ❤
As promised, this is my Valentine’s Day post, from me to only you as no-one else reads this blog anyway.
I have built us a little nest …
…. to keep the two of us snug and warm.
Hey, cut it out you three. This is meant to be a romantic post between me and my favourite female reader who is definitely a lady, possibly a lady, probably a lady, no way a lady, other than a lady. I haven’t quite worked her out yet.
Sweetie, you may use anything in the apartment ………
Cats ! Do you mind ? I want my favourite female reader to go wobbly at the knees over this post !
Honey, you are very welcome to use my internet, as well as watching live English speaking TV and thousands of the newest HD movies in English with Greek subtitles. GREEK SUBTITLES ! Heck, I’m English living in Spain ! If you can read Greek that’s a bonus. I can’t as it’s all Greek to me ! (Δεν μπορώ, όπως είναι όλα τα ελληνικά σε μένα!)
I’ve not yet seen that great musical Zebra The Greek, or the seafaring blockbuster Up The Greek Without A Paddle. Have you ? Maybe we can cuddle up and watch them together, then nothing would be done. No sleeping, eating, housework, showers or feeding the cats.
…..There are lots of naughty TV channels. You know, the ones that can make a man blind !
Why not Samantha ?
I’ve gone blind now. I may need a caregiver at this rate. Now, where IS my laptop ?
Let’s go to the kitchen my dearest favourite reader.
Would you like a drink ? Wine ? Vinegar ? Olive oil ? Whatever tickles your fancy.
I have a large double bed which we can share.
Why Sonic ?
Typical ! You three have just ruined my post of love. You cats are like having a cuckoo in the little nest.
Heck ! Oh well, there is always next year.
Oh boy !
Heehee. Happy Valentine’s Day ! 🙂 ❤
Ralph xox ❤
It snowed overnight in my Spanish mountain village for one day this winter. All gone in a day. 18degC today.
So you want to buy or sell a house in Spain ? During the legal process expect a curve ball, something that makes you want to pull your hair out. This is just what happened to my friends David & Hilda who are living with their 10 cats & dog in temporary accomodation while the sale of their old home and purchase of the new are completed.
16 January 2017
An update from us and how we’re trying to cope with the Spanish bureaucracy.
We moved out of our house last Thursday and are now living in ++++.
We’re adjusting to living high up on the wrong side of the valley where we don’t see the sunshine until around 11 am, burning around 20 logs or more daily trying to heat just one room, blocking the draughts from doors and windows and reminding ourselves that we’re having a break…well trying to.
However, you’ll be pleased to know that the cats and the dog are settled which is the main thing and at least it’s not raining. Oh! and we’re getting used to Spanish TV and lots of reading.
We should have gone to complete today ( Monday) but, surprise, surprise, obstacles have been put in our way to prevent this.
Firstly our ++++ went to the Town hall to collect a document which the ++++ should have had available on Thursday ( this confirms that we live outside the national park), but greeted ++++ with “I haven’t done this as I am too busy with other work”.
++++ returned on Friday and we’re still waiting to hear about the certificate, but in the meantime Friday evening we’re advised that we must produce the past 3 years of electricity bills, IBI, and have two witnesses ready to testify that we have lived in our house the past years . Everything is packed away including files in over 100 boxes….so we searched, did find them and took them to ++++’s office this morning questioning who exactly is asking for this? Seems it’s the ++++ who will make a 3% retention of monies unless they’re produced!
…so here we are waiting and our lives are on hold !
We will let you know as and when we have something to celebrate in the hope that something may happen this week
19 January 2017
Today we completed the sale of our house and here are photos taken this morning.
Views of the road down to my Spanish village.
David & Hilda’s last look at their old home.
Views from my front balcony that morning.
By the evening the snow had gone from the bottom of the valley where I live.
Latest email from Hilda.
04 February 2017
Just to let you know that finally we will be moving into our new house next Tuesday. We will forward our address once we are there. Can’t believe that we will have lived in three houses within four weeks !
Love Hilda x
Yes, after weeks of no noise at all from our new neighbours she kicked off again …. BIG TIME !
At 2045 hrs 02 February 2017 all was quiet. It was dark. I was sitting quietly on my sofa, the young neighbours below, not a peep ….. then ……
BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
On the WALL right NEXT to me ! So loud and continuous ! Frightened the life out of me ! I could just about make out that she was shouting. Baby Liam, asleep in the apartment below me, started crying. It stopped ! Then an even louder continuous metallic banging on her front balcony rail next to mine.
I shot out of the chair and was out onto my front balcony faster than Donald Trump signing an executive order. I said one thing, “I am going to call the police !” and went back indoors. I could hear doors slamming, gradually fading, as she worked her way downstairs. Then quiet.
I picked up my home phone. IT WAS DEAD ! Ooops, I forgot that the installer of my new internet provider had told me that it would take a week to transfer my phone number from the old IP to the new. Next Tuesday !
The young family and I decided to keep a record of her outbursts.
Yes, my Valentine’s Day post !
Ralph xox ❤
Sometimes I get confused and fabricate typos in my mind. So before you whack your keyboard on my head to try to heal me, 🎶ommm🎶, here is a beautiful love song from me to you.
Home and Away 1988 TV theme – full version performed by Mark Williams and Karen Boddington
I just love the way the sax comes in at 02:33. 🎷
Hang on a minute Sonic, I’m drafting a post.
You know what it’s like, you buy something nowadays which you think will last for 2 generations and it falls to bits after a couple of uses, which so happened to be my toilet brush.
Just a tick Sonic.
I needed to go down the mountains to my bank on the Spanish southern coast and while there I’d buy a new toilet brush as I was fed up with fishing the hedgehog out of the bowl.
Pipe down cat !
Pedro & Toni (my young neighbours) and I had a lovely day shopping on the coast near Gibraltar.
Okay, what’s the emergency Sonic ?
Alright ! ALRIGHT ! There you go Sonic.
Oh no ! Greasy pawprints all over the laptop screen AGAIN !
And so I returned home with a new toilet brush. I was so happy ! (note the extra Costa Del Sol dust given away free by the supermarket. The Spanish are so generous !)
Ooops I forgot ! AND a new smart TV. I bought it as it had a wife in the box. NO WIFE, just wifi ! Sad. (I must get some reading glasses !).
Windows 10 refuses to load my old Canon printer CD disc (of Windows XP era) , the printer is useless. Bloomin’ Windows ! So …..
…. I brought home a new printer which also had a wife in the box. Two wives so far ! I am really a sad person, aren’t I ?
ANDDDD I bought a new camera, as important buttons on my old camera refused to be pressed.
Oh, and lots of bits and pieces. It’s a man thing !
And that lot came to €1200 (approx same in US$). All I went for was a new toilet brush ! Oh boy !
Of course I did. 12 cans of scrumptious fish in gravy.
The criteria you must meet are >>>>
Be a really, really fast worker.
Vital Statistics: 36Mb – 24Mb – 36Mb
Be able to multitask. Do many things at once.
Keep me happy in my office chair, sofa and bed 24/7.
Ralph xox ❤
It all started over parking !
Funny, but what occurred between my neighbours is serious and ongoing.
To set the scene, the building I live in is in two halves. One side is a 3 storey single property and my side is divided into three apartments. The two cats and I own the top apartment.
…. Pedro …
…. and their three children ….
…. live just below me. And the ground floor apartment is hardly used.
New neighbours from another country in Europe, (whom I will call NewN from now on) moved into the large half next door. I got on well with the husband, chatting in English. THEN one lunchtime I heard shouting. The NewN wife was screaming from her front balcony at Toni in the street to move Pedro’s car parked on the other side of the road of their house perfectly legally (no yellow lines and Pedro had parked his car there for years).
Toni said nothing. Returned to her apartment, got the keys and moved the car. Then Toni got into her car and drove off to pick up her kids from school. The NewN wife still shouting at the disappearing car. Other locals and I were shocked at the verbal abuse.
Pedro, upset, parked his car day after day in his usual spot across the road from the NewN home. The wife or husband never spoke to Pedro. The wife concentrated on Toni and her children, even frightening Ariadne by screaming out of the NewN window, “STUPIDO, UNEDUCATED !“, threatening Toni by saying, “You had better be careful when driving at night” and terrifying Liam who woke up crying at 04:30 by almighty banging on the concrete wall from the NewN half of the building. How awful !
The NewN had local Spanish builders working in their house from day one who are always desperate for money. The builders are the only local friends that NewN now have, socialising with them in the evenings. One morning yellow lines were painted on both sides of the road in front of their house.
This, of course, is illegal. No signs. No authority from the many different agencies overseeing this area just outside this Spanish village boundary.
Pedro parked his car butted up to the yellow line.
One morning, just before Christmas. Yes, just before Christmas ! We woke up to find ALL four of Pedro’s car tyres slashed.
I had had enough. I told one of the Spanish builders that the whole situation was really bad. He turned bright red, squirmed, but said nothing !
I then rung the NewN doorbell. The NewN wife came to the door. I told her that I knew that she had had the tyres slashed as she was the only person to ever be really nasty to this young family. “It wasn’t me. I don’t care !” slamming the door in my face.
Soon after, the recovery truck arrived. Luckily for Pedro the insurance paid for that, but not for the replacement tyres. €240 (about the same in US dollars). As I said, just before Christmas !
Spanish locals gathered to watch while the car was being winched onto the truck. THEN from her front balcony the NewN wife started screaming at Toni’s father ! Everyone was shocked, astounded by the ravings of this banshee, the father said nothing.
Later, the local police could do nothing about the tyres as nobody saw anything, but they did question the NewN wife over the verbal abuse, who said to police, “There is no problem. We are the best of friends with our neighbours. We are buddies !“. Oh boy !
Since that day the NewN have gone totally quiet. I even tried to say good morning to the NewN husband yesterday, but got the cold shoulder. So much for “Love thy neighbour as thyself !”.
I promise not to laugh when the NewN wife wearing only indoor clothes and a black plastic garbage bag on her head (Batman’s nun) is sweeping the street in the pouring rain.
I promise not to be brainwashed listening to the NewN wife playing her 8 note piano … the same scale, up and down, (nothing else !) for hours on end sometimes.
I promise ………. OMG, shoot me someone !
Ralph xox ❤
I know ! Not a lot of fun in this post. I hummed and haa’ed over whether I should publish it. In the end I decided that I should as it is life in my Spanish village. BTW, fun post next time 🙂
As it’s a New Year, I think you cats should change your ways so that our readers can see that you are being good, kind and helpful to me. Make me proud, cats !
Awww ! Really ? You guys are really sweet !
It’s a sad moment to say goodbye to two couples, friends, who are leaving this village for pastures new.
Brian and Monica are giving up the vineyard and moving back to the UK as Monica needs to be close to family.
And secondly, David and Hilda. Yes, my close friends David and Hilda ! Their home is sold and are moving to another town in Andalucia, Spàin this week. (10 cats are going with them !)
I will miss you. Goodbye dear friends.
Another milestone ! 2,500 followers ! Most of which are “ghosts”. A single Follow email and that’s the last I have seen of them. BUT, about 150 of you visit or use your Reader to Like or say “Hi !”. Thank you so much for your love and support dear friends.
Try the top of my sidebar to follow. That one works !
I am so pleased that my cats are going to be good, kind and helpful.
WordPress !!! Oh no, not you as well !!!
So much for the change for the better ! I give up !
Ralph xox ❤
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