367: No Go Logo ?

~7 years with WordPress~

It seems like only a year has gone by since my 6th WP anniversary.  Strange that !  Thank you so much for joining me on my blogging journey,  usually into the unknown.  You may have noticed that I am not posting as often as I should.  This is mainly due to my wobbly hands and psychotic voice/typing app.  Comments are almost impossible for me to reply to,  but I do love reading them.

~Thanks Banks !~

The other day I found a piece of paper which may help to catch those thieving scammers who took me for a ride a few years ago.  I scanned and emailed it off to the Halifax Building Society (UK) Security email address.

Immediately,  I received an automatic reply from,  not Halifax BS (UK),  but Lloyds Bank (UK).  WHAT ??

This mailbox is dedicated solely to reporting emails sent by fraudsters that impersonate the Bank. Please note that other types of email, messages or requests cannot be actioned, and cannot be forwarded on to any other department. The only action this mailbox can take is to request deletion of fraudsters’ email addresses and URLs where our brand name or logo has been used without permission. There may be delays as our partners process these requests.

How awful.  A bank to which I have not sent an email to, complaining to me about their logo and brand name.  I DIDN’T WRITE TO YOU Lloyds Bank !  Forward my email to the organ grinder, monkey !

At the bottom of the reply email I was told to telephone a 0€00 number instead.  I needed to go out and find a telephone where I can plug in a document as there was no number for a fax. 

Boy, I needed a coffee !  I don’t know why,  I get scalded hands when I drink from the mug and the coffee always pours down my chest.  Strange that !

So off I went to find a special telephone.

I am very security conscious and always leave a spare front door key well hidden under the mat.

Shucks,  I can’t use the car as the barrier is locked down.

No matter, I enjoy a tram ride especially in the left seat.

I wonder how the telephone call will go ?

10 minutes of angelic music.

Your call is important to us.  For training purposes we are recording this conversation.  Please wait for a highly trained banking specialist to speak to you, or ….

…. Press one if you have had sex with our logo without our permission.  Press two if you wish to speak to a foreign national.  Press three if you are worried about your data being protected.  Your data is important to us, that is why we have sent it from the UK to strange people in a foreign country such as India.  No one will find it or misuse it there.  Press four ….  dialling tone !

I never found a phone. 

By now I felt quite hungry and sporty, so I popped into a store to buy some meatless meatballs and a footless football.

The store assistant had to call an ambulance because a lady had a severe reaction and collapsed when touching a tomato.

After all that excitement,  I queued up for an hour behind one lady and two manikins at the checkout.

 Luckily, the fire alarm went off, so I dumped my shopping and went out into the street.

While waiting for a bus home I found a quiet spot to have a cigarette.

I waited and waited for a bus, which never came.  Fed up, I walked home.

On arrival at home, I replied to the automatic reply email.

CONGRATULATIONS !  Halifax Security has won the Ralph’s “Pass the buck and don’t give a f<<k” award 

I didn’t get an automatic reply from my reply to their automatic reply.  I wonder why ?

~ Facepalm News ~

As there is so much craziness going on, I have decided to add a new item to my posts ….. Facepalm News !   Enjoy !

I am sorry that you are offended by all the fullstops in this post   Maybe I should get rid of all punctuation and words so as not to offend anyone  From now on I should draft and publish a one noise post   grunt or oink  Or do you have a suggestion ?  Oh no  I must have offended someone by using a question mark  SORRY  Ooops capital letters   I am not shouting at you

What makes you facepalm ?

Ralph xox ❤

Cats photographed by Natascha and other images borrowed from Internet newspapers and from Google images.

47 Comments on “367: No Go Logo ?

    • Thank you so much dear Lynette. Blogging for so long is enhanced by friends like you.
      Yes, I have seen what airlines are planning. Maybe they will put passengers in crates and pile them up to the roof in the cabin. I can see that coming 😉 Have a nice weekend my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Very funny post, Ralph. Snowflakes make me facepalm.
    I’m glad you made me aware of my rudeness in using “full stops.” I certainly wouldn’t want to make it easy for someone to read and understand what I have written. What is the current status of starting a sentence with a capital letter? That seems a little suspect too.
    Have a great weekend, Ralph.
    Your wifi,
    Linda

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am with you there dear wifi Linda. Snowflakes are on a different planet, aren’t they ?
      Definitely. Starting a sentence with a capital letter deserves capital punishment 😉
      Thank you and have a great weekend yourself. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Question of the moment – If one wanted a tomato-inspired haircut like the one featured, should one go to one’s local greengrocer or one’s local barber? Question of the moment after that – Would you say that hairstyle belonged more to the fruit or vegetable canon?

    Liked by 1 person

    • lol. That’s worth thinking about Glen. I am sure that theologians and philosophers will ponder this for centuries. Well, it will give them something to do 🙂 Ralph 🙂

      Like

  3. Congratulations with your 7 years at WP, Ralph 😀

    I came to think, that maybe you could have joy of using CBD oil, which often help to stop shaking in the body. I use it for other conditions and for me it works very well.

    Funny post as usual 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Irene! Ralph thought I should reply to your comment, since I did all the reading about the CBD in Austria and trying it out with Ralph over a year ago. A while ago, they made CBD without THC legal in Austria… BUT! Only some approved industrial hemp strain is to be used for it and it has to be less than 0.3% THC in it. Anything with more than 0.3% THC is considered illegal.

      Therefore, we have no access to the big variety of amazing cannabis strains that can be legally bought in some states in the US and probably other countries. I’ve heard so much good about the true medical CBD oil. I’m almost certain the right one of these strains would help Ralph to at least reduce the severity of his shaking hands. But we can’t get it here. And by the looks of it, they are even fighting to make it illegal again to even sell CBD oil made from the EU approved industrial hemp. So I guess it does not look like we would have access to anything useful for the foreseeable future.

      We did try the legally available industrial hemp CDB oil, but it did nothing for Ralph, unfortunately.

      I’m happy it’s working for you though! It’s always awesome to find something that actually helps, especially if it’s something natural.

      Sorry for the long-winded reply lol!

      Have a wonderful Saturday!
      Hugs, Natascha 🙋😺😺😺

      Liked by 2 people

      • Hi Natascha, Thank you for your answer.
        I live in Spain and buy organic CBD oil in a health shop here legal. There are not much THC inside no, but it does help me with my pain, so I don’t need as much chemicals as earlier. It makes me able to walk a little more without so much pain.

        I just thought, that this might be able to help Ralph too, as it isn’t nice to live with shaking hands, if it was possible to do anything natural to help it.

        Wish both of you a nice weekend 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      • Oh that’s great for you! I’m glad it’s helping for you. It’s so hard to live with pain.
        I love using something natural whenever possible too.

        Thank you so much! Wishing you a wonderful weekend as well! 🙋🏻😸😸😸

        Liked by 3 people

  4. Dear Ralph, you have entertained grandly as always. Full stops and all.
    Seats for ????
    As to those phone calls with music and waiting for someone to answer could give you heart attack. Your photos are so funny too, takes time to find them.😊 ,
    Congratulations to your long and popular time at W.P. . Please do continue,
    full stops and all.

    Miriam

    Like

  5. congrats on 7 years Ralph, and thanks for making me laugh so much this morning. –

    Like

  6. Congratulations on your 7th. anniversary here at WP. !
    Still love those humor pictures and your captions that go along with..

    Like

  7. lol, what makes me facepalm today was that full stops are now seen as rude. Just zomg. other than that, when I forget my glasses are on my head and think they’re lost. Love to you both and the cats. xxx

    Like

  8. I hope you are having blog anniversary party! That cats would look cool with party hats. 🙂
    The so-called Artificial Intelligence that companies use to answer their phones, emails etc are usually dreadful and not the least bit intelligent.
    Face/palming has become a daily occurrence LOL! So people would rather not have punctuation than possibly appear passive-aggressive?!?!?!?! (From now on I will use extra punctuation! 😀 !)

    Like

  9. Happy 7 year Blogversary, Ralph! Totally laughing out loud 🤣 reading your post! 🤫 Honestly, you experience bizarre encounters, and still make them funny. Sorry, if I’ve offended you with punkshuation 🤣 marks! Have a lovely weekend! Samantha & Sonic got it 🤫 down pat! 📚🎶Christine

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Happy 7th Blog-O-Versary!!! 😀 … as for the other stuff? Bah! Humbug! and a pox on all their houses … love the insane photos of how unbelievably thick humans can be sometimes! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  11. The report in this post makes me facepalm. LOL!!
    Nonetheless, you are warm, sweet & funny, and so is Natascha & the cats.
    Just have fun and to ship with the rest! xoxoxo ❤ to all!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Lol, hysterical Ralph. Circles, that’s what the daily grind has become with automation and robots looking after our life business. But as always, you make it so entertaining. Happy 6th my friend ❤ xx

    Liked by 1 person

  13. You do such a good job of sourcing images for your blog. I wonder which comes first, the image, or the words?

    That’s tragi-comic about the message from the bank. Restores your faith in the financial sector, eh?

    Hugs to the whole flippin’ lot of you. xxxxx,x (last one for China Cat).

    Liked by 1 person

  14. So many hilarious photos, and your comments about them are the best! Here’s to another great year on WordPress, Ralph. You always make me smile and make my day.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Hahah these are brilliant! I wish there were barriers like that in hospital car parks, it’d make parking so much cheaper when you can drive around the ticket barrier 😂 And a tomato for a haircut… interesting choice!
    Rest your hands, and post whenever you’re able to, no pressure on replying to comments either, everyone will understand.
    Wishing you a very Happy 7th Blogiversary!
    Caz x

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Happy Anniversary! I can’t believe how passed all these years… Thank you dear Ralph, Love, nia

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Hi Ralph! Thank you for your passage at my Blog. I started following your WP and I gladly give you a sharing Reblog because you deserve it. From what I understand, you use an app to be able to write using the voice and this says a lot. I’m really sorry and I sincerely write it with all my heart. I hope that my presence, and this comment, will give you enough warmth ❤ so as to win your affection and your friendship because everything would be recirpoco. I embrace you and send you a hug and a friendly kiss from Switzerland 😉 Sabrina Alberich

    Liked by 1 person

  18. happy anniversary for your blogging doesn’t time go fast trying to write without punctuation as not to offend anyone also without capital letters, so i am speaking nice and calmly hope you figure it out it is hard to stop somewhere without full stop my washing machine is ready so that must be a sign to stop cheerio ralph greetings to all the cats and natascha too

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Oh, Ralphie, you may not blog as much as usuall, but when you blog…MOL…We hope that the tomatoe head doesn’t fall off into ketchup…🙊Thanks for the laugh, you’re magnificent 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy 7th Blogoversary and extra Pawkisses for my sweet furriends and Natascha🐾😽💞

    Liked by 1 person

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