366: Ralph The Social Media Influencer

~On my way~

I can do that !   It can’t be that difficult.  I have Social Media. That’s a start !  Maybe I will get loads of money from Nigeria and expensive free things.  I have ONE MILLION, well three followers on TwitFace.  An old couple, now in Heaven ………

…… and a budgerigar who tweets day and night.  I have just found out that the budgerigar is really that thieving Nigerian scammer, Bongo Bongo Banana.

I am sure that I cannot do any worse than this girl.  But, you know me !

~Credibility~

(the following pictures are PHOTOSHOPPED real)

That’s the followers sorted, now I need credibility.  Maybe a celebrity would help.  So I reckon Jesus would do.  After a stroll on water we would go for a meal.  Fed up with bread and fishes we would have burgers and fries, enough for the 40,000.  The wine, found to be watered down, would be quickly fixed by Him.

I am sure that Moses would help.  I do recommend his ten-part series of tablets, a bit like encyclopaedias, but no shelving needed.  They are free 24/7.  Go direct to Him and not to evangelists who request payment so that they can build palaces and buy jet aircraft for themselves. 

~Building the business~

I am sure that patting Cleopatra’s ASS asp would be click bait ….

…… perhaps not !  This might be better.

~Freebies~

Here are a few things that I will get for free as a Social Media Influencer.

~The power and the glory~

Eventually I will be at the top of the Social Media Influencer ladder.  Even Presidents will do my bidding.

~And finally~

I will be so powerful that I would demand TwitFace to give me everything for free.  The response was not quite what I expected.  They didn’t give a damn ….

…… and closed my account, banishing me to the Realm Of The Spinning Circle forever.

It was then I had a meltdown.

Time to scream, “Alms for the poor !”

~What then ?~

Oh well,  go back to being retired I suppose and watch my favourite kitty gif.

Do you like free things ?

Ralph xox ❤

34 Comments on “366: Ralph The Social Media Influencer

    • lol. Blown away ? He doesn’t do that, but casting your net on the other side of the boat is very popular 😉
      Have a great weekend dear Leslie. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  1. The ‘Entitled Snowflake’ vid was literally hilarious.
    Like, LITERALLY! Beware the collab indeed!
    As to the pink-dressed belly dancer… Wow. Just wow.
    Would it be asking too much to get her phone number?

    Liked by 1 person

    • What a great comment from you Glen ! Literally brilliant !
      lol. Yes, it would be asking too much to collaborate with the belly dancer as I am rather attached to her myself. Ralph 🙂

      Like

    • lol. I am so pleased that you like my free blog posts dear Katie. The content is expensive though 😉 . BTW Who is Laura ? Have you been hacked ?
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • No…it’s the real me. With the new art and YouTube stuff starting next week, I am using my name….but some friends call me Katie…so you can still use Katie 😁. 8)8)

        Like

    • Thank you for your uplfting comment dear Lynette. I got something right for a change. Yay !
      Have a wonderful weekend my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Heehee. So the pink little number influenced you then dear Peggy ? See, influenza works 😉
      Have a great day. Ralph xox 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I didn’t know these blogs were free! I’ve been sending in $10 checks for every post !!!
    🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh dear my friend, you have been scammed ! I was expecting $900 from you so that I could send you $1 million from the Bank Of Monopoly 😉
      Happy Saturday dear Stacey. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ralph, you are incorrigible 😊 . The whole post has me laughing and you are so well timed with photos and jokes.
    My favourites are your ‘free bees ‘. You are quite welcome to them and I am very glad you survived to tell the tale.

    Miriam

    Like

  4. Those steps sound good. I have an alternate. Doing good reviews on products purchased on Amazon, might give you similar benefits 🙂

    Please have a good weekend.

    Like

  5. Ralph, you are lightyears ahead of me! “Social Media Influencer”. I had never heard that term before. But I have heard of “Entitled Millennial Snowflakes” and I enjoyed the video. I feel honored to have found your blog before you change the internet as we know it! And the answer is no, I don’t like free things because they’re really never free… Great post!

    Like

  6. I knew you got around, Ralph, but this is incredible. By the way, pink is definitely your color!

    Like

  7. Well Mugsy… erm I mean Ralph… I see you & your moll, Natascha have figured things out.
    Social media & is more powerful than a flaring Tommy Gun.
    Selfies rule & super imposing is more convincing than holding someone for ransom.
    Nonetheless, you don’t fool me. The cats have you hostage, and you will never be free, even on social media.
    I hope this comment doesn’t make any sense.
    Much love to you all! 😀 xoxoxoxoxo ❤

    Like

  8. omg, “puts fingers in social media influencer pose” this rocks, Ralph. lol I laughed my socks off, the video was classic. I’d heard of this poor girl, not…..but the Australian guy’s video was the best ever.
    Fantastic post, Ralph, keep up the good work. Love to you both and the cats. xxx

    Like

  9. You are an amazing social media influencer!
    After all, you did influence me to become your wifi! 💜 I love your selfies.🤔🤪😍

    Like

  10. I never heard of a media influencer, glad you made that clear. Love that crying corner sign. Shame it is only 15 minutes….. probably you can cry for 15 minutes have a coffee break or something stronger and come back for another 15 minutes. 🙂

    Like

  11. How on earth did you happen across the cool put down video, it was hilarious 😆, she was caught out, boom 💥. Love the water shots, if you get yourself a free cruise can I come too, i’ll Sing for my supper 🎶

    Like

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