Over the years I have had my ups and downs with many women. Not understanding one iota of how they function. This video explains it all.
Your turn. Where on the crazy/hot chart below do you or your partner hang out ?
Or, if you wish, you can vote as many times as you like in this poll.
There I was, minding my own business, setting up the photographs for this post, when up popped a new post from Pamela’s blog in my Inbox.
QED ! She must be psychic !
My first few years of life were okay … exploring on my own. England’s green and pleasant land was my playground. No other kids in the valley except my sister.
She had two hobbies, horses and getting me into trouble. Later on in her life she admitted to our parents that she used to egg me on to do something naughty, she would tell our mother and when Dad got home from work he’d beat the crap out of me and send me up to the attic where I stayed all night with nothing to eat or do. I spent many hours sitting on the window ledge staring along the valley. So, to me, girls were to be avoided as much as possible and the English countryside was my haven.
Junior school had girls, boys and myself, all from far away villages. There was a no talking policy in school and my knuckles were rapped with a ruler many times for breaking that rule. For hours on end we were taught to chant the Times Table in unison …… seven times one is seven … seven times two is fourteen … seven times three is … Don’t know ? Google it ! (no Google in those days). Playtime was 15 minutes of mayhem. No time for girls.
So girls were off my radar.
And then …. wham ! …. at the age of 12, my parents buggered off to West Africa. I was assessed to be intelligent enough to be sent to a boys only boarding school for 5 years.
To me, the school was a cross between a penal colony, Oliver Twist and psychological warfare. Girls ? Nope !
One subject I didn’t understand was Latin. It was all Latin to me !
Yes, he did look like him ! I became adept at evading incoming blackboard rubbers that he threw at me. There were a multitude of chalk marks on the wall behind where I sat.
I also enjoyed being removed from the Latin lesson and made to wait in the corridor outside, which was okay as it was the school museum with things in glass cases and had an area I found for a no-no cigarette. Daydreaming of doing sports or roaming the countryside during utterly boring History lessons was also a no-no …..
…… resulting in my visiting the headmaster. A cordial affair, but a bit one sided.
“Ralph … tut-tut, tut-tut-tut, tut … Here again ? I might as well move your desk in here. Bend over ! As a non-violent man, this is going to hurt me more than you.”
WHACK ! x6 ( I was good at Maths !)
Now look at the school. Girls everywhere !
It’s dripping in girls (probably with their noses in Facebook drooling over horse selfies). Neigh !
Eventually I finished school with certificates (not Latin or History) at the ripe old age of 17. As I was an expert at surviving a cross between a penal colony, Oliver Twist and psychological warfare, I signed on to another cross between a penal colony, Oliver Twist and psychological warfare …. The British Army !
I hadn’t a clue, no understanding at all of what my fellow newbee soldiers were bragging about, mainly women, parts of women and what they did with those parts (no Google in those days) .. until …
…. I got posted to Cyprus, working 24 hours then 3 days off, based a stone’s throw from a young soldier’s heaven. Famagusta ! A place where hot, sometimes crazy women fused into …. well, that’s another story !
After those 3 years of heaven, followed decades of ups and downs with women smoothing out to nothing …. until I met Natascha.
That says it all ! She IS a keeper !
There is an update concerning Murli’s toothy-pegs here
Ralph xox ❤