Unless something dramatic happens I usually don’t have a clue what I am going to post about next. This post could have been about nothing until I read three UK newspaper items which triggered my imagination and developed into my usual craziness.
It all began with an article about University professors being told not to use capital letters to emphasise the point as it may upset snowflake students. Capital letters in texts means that you are shouting at them and they may cry. The professors were also told not to use the words ” do” and “don’t”.
I am sure that I have many snowflake readers who are really upset by seeing that my post title is in capital letters.
It’s not my fault. I’m not shouting at you. The theme developer made it this way. I wrote normally …
… so don’t cry. Are you crying ?
The next two newspaper articles were even crazier, so I decided to write a play about Ralph’s Snowflake University. The Trumpet University is not in my league.
Ralph, that’s me, the Dean/Don of Ralph’s Snowflake University sitting behind my desk in the Oval Office. Students call me Ding Dong, I’ve no idea why. Anyway, it’s the first day and I am interviewing my one and only student. At US$1 million per week, I only need one student. Her Dad pays an unrefundable bucketload covering the full 3 years in advance and the student usually only lasts one day.
Come in ! Take a seat !
Dragging noises across the floor.
No no ! When I asked you to take a seat, I didn’t mean for you to leave my office and take it home with you. Please sit down and make yourself comfortable.
Bwaaaaaa *sniffle* The knocking was in capitals and you told me ….
I know. I’m sorry. I should have made myself much clearer to you … umm …
*shuffling through papers*
… Mandy Manning from Many Mansions, Manchester, England.
Bwaaaaaa *sniffle* No, I am Dy Ning from Y Sions, Chester, England. I hate … I can’t say it … M-A-N or M-E-N, so I am a womxn or a wo. Please treat me that way Ding Dong.
That’s okay Dy. Womxn or wo it is then. I think we may have a problem with what course you are going to take to get your degree at this wonderful University. As you know the University has a directive that students may opt out of any subject which may upset you.
*shuffling through papers*
History, yes, a degree in history should suit you Dy.
Bwaaaaaa *sniffle* Noooo ! Someone got killed in 33 A.D., so I am opting out.
Okay, that’s Religion down the toilet. I really do have the feeling that you will opt out of the rest of the degrees that our fantastic University offers, such as Business MANagement, Chinese MANdarin, politics in OMAN, horse breeding where you would be up to your elbows in se…
Bwaaaaaa *sniffle* My Dad wants me to graduate with a degree. Is there nothing for me ?
Well, we do have a degree in vegetarian diet, including growing MANgos. How about that ?
Bwaaaaaa *sniffle* Not really. I am a vegetarian, but love to eat cheese.
Sorry Dy, our gorgeous University doesn’t have a degree for vegedairyans. This was difficult, but, I have the perfect degree for you, Dy, and you can graduate with honours today. Congratulations, you have graduated with a degree in Pathetic Excuses, which is perfect for a career in Insurance Claims, Politics or working in the Benefits Office. You should do well. Congratulations Miss Dy. Good bye.
Bwaaaaaa *sniffle* I am not a Miss ! I am Ms … Mizzz !
With that parting remark, Mandy flounced out of my office. I hit the intercom button.
Amanda … oops, sorry … Ada, I will be leaving the University for the airport. Please contact my pilot and ask him to prepare for my arrival. I am leaving for the Cayman Islands !
Ralph’s Snowflake University.
Make Universities Great Again !
Ralph xox ❤
Just another WordPress.com site
Visual Perception- Hot Edgy Fashion Blog
Asian Australian. Multiculturalism
An Arts-Filled, Tasty And Sometimes-Loopy Jaunt Through Life
Simple Everyday Recipes
Book descriptions and excerpts, opinions, information on a variety of subjects...always open to comments
Just posting about life
OVER 10,000 STRONG!!!
Not just live and let live, but live and help live
Tales from the Forest: New art courses start 2019 visit: www.atelier88galicia.com
A Galaxy of Rewind
Taking ownership of your life brings power to make needed changes. True freedom begins with reliance on God to guide this process and provide what you need.
|| Food vs. Style||
A French girl's musings...
This blog is massive in Liechtenstein (really).
Penang Island Local Travel Guide + Food Tours
Author of The Sound of Water and other books
A life in a photobooth.
Travels in Paradise
As I navigate through this life ...
Every step is a memory
Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s. Billy Wilder
My experiences in Italy and the world
Se nessuno ti vede mentre lo mangi, quel dolce non ha calorie.
Stories From The Heart.Emotions,and adventures of an Italian woman in Ireland
Curiosity run amok . . .
Unkempt Mind dribbling in the seethe
Just Another WordPress.com site..
This WordPress.com site is Pacific War era information
Illustration is the passion of my life!
Sharing my thoughts, poems, travel & art
Opinions are mine, thoughts are yours, comments most welcome. ZERO affiliates, paid advertisers or political partners. Nine years and still here.
WRITING LESBIAN FICTION, SCIENCE FICTION, AND FANTASY, SINCE THE 20TH CENTURY
Writing from a Baffledheart
My reflections of life in general.
Short bursts of curmudgeonry on any topic.
Life after the kids are grown
Des' Online Journal
The adventures of little read writing Hood
Fashion Blogger, Designer, Globetrotter
Growing older with silliness, high spirits and a lot of heart.
Mother, Nehiyaw, Metis, & Itisahwâkan - career communicator. This is my collection of opinions, stories, and the occasional rise to, or fall from, challenge. In other words, it's my party, I can fun if I want to. .................................................................. Artwork by aaronpaquette.net
My daily dance through a creative life as a female artist and photographer with lifelong depression.
my dreams are my disease, chasing them my only option
This is my story about my experience of sudden sensorineural hearing loss and how it affects my life.
Welcome to my Art and Lifestyle Blog. Follow my adventures as a Bohemian artist.