340: Bank On My Cats

~What A Load Of Bankers !~

Oh boy !  The craziness of my Spanish bank is endless !  Over the last nine months I have been passed  around four different Customer Service branch women and probably two Complaints Department women.  I have had more bank women in nine months than girlfriends over my entire life !

I will repeat what I wrote a few weeks ago just to refresh our memories.

“Oh yes, my Spanish bank has also entered the realms of stupidity.  I have been emailing my Solbank  since 2002 with no problems until I arrived in Austria in September 2017.  I could do nothing in Spain as I did not have an Austrian address for them to send me correspondence.  Once settled, I emailed my new address, sent proof of residency and asked for statements to be sent to me.  After many requests and many replies I was told that they do not take instructions by email.  Nothing from them for months until I received a Solbank letter.  Yay !   A statement ?   No !    Just a letter telling me that they are charging me €30 for being overdrawn.  For heavens sake, they refused to send me statements, but had the audacity to send me that !   Natascha and I immediately topped up the account and I really laid into the bank and asked for paperwork to be sent to me to close my account.  I have still heard nothing and they are still taking money from my account, I assume.”

~My Spanish Bank Is Trying To Kill Me~

The story continues.

I received two more letters.  One was pages of charges and fees for 2018 and the other praised the wonders of GDPR.  None of which helped me.  A statement would have been nice.

Totally fed up, I wrote an email, a long email to Solbank complaints department.   Within hours I got a reply.  “Sorry, we don’t act on emails without an electronic signature”  What !!!  Ms Daydreamer then went back to filing her nails.

Both Natascha and I couldn’t believe how crazy things were becoming.  Anyway, something amazing happened the following afternoon.  We got a phone call from the bank instructing me to write a letter with both my Spanish and Austrian bank details and that I want to close my account.  Natascha is brilliant at typing and soon knocked up the letter which I signed and Natascha mailed it the following morning.

About a week later I got an email from the bank saying that my signature did not match the signature I made when opening the account in 2002.  Send a Certified copy of my passport.  I used to have a lovely signature in 2002, but my shaking hands changed it to something like this.

This image is taken from a post I did in 2016.  Copy that if you can Bongo Bongo Banana spammer.

I had signed countless pieces of paper and on the electronic signing machine at the bank.  Not one signature was the same over the last few years.  It seems that no one had checked my recent signatures, flagged my medical problem, or updated the database.  AND what the heck has a certified passport got to do with anything.  I told her that and she replied with

“Dear Mr.Whillier,  I am sorry but in that case you can transfer your balance online or give a power of attorney to another person to close your account and transfering your money if you are not going to come back to Spain anymore . We can not accept a signed request  with a signature we don´t have registered for security reasons . Yours sincerely”

They are beginning to make things up. They know I do not have an online bank with them and also I would need to be in Spain to activate a power of attorney.  Both Natascha and I could not believe what was going on.  Anyway, before I told them to stick the whole thing up their ATM sideways, Natascha made me see sense and we went to an Austrian Notary.  He was very quick to certify my passport and I asked him to verify my wonky signature.  I did that because I had a feeling that my signature would be next on the bank’s bucket list.  Thank heavens that worked !  3 days ago I got an email

“Dear Mr.Whillier,  My colleague is dealing with it.  I will let you know when the account is closed.  Yours sincerely”

I have heard nothing since from her colleague.  Probably going to ask me to certify my cats.  Well, they need certifying, as you can see in the next item.


My cats are in the kichen.  Up to something I expect.


Who Wants My Spanish Bank Account ?

It’s fun.  One insane, certified, stressed out, careful owner.  Ignore the fact that the account will never close and you will get no statements.   Blind banking !   What a fun gift to give to your local politician or law maker. 

Ralph xox ❤

Natascha photographed the cats and made the video.

76 Comments on “340: Bank On My Cats

  1. Ralph, I think all banks are dodgy when it comes to closing an account. I did it once and the cashier said that will be $10.00. She pushed all the buttons and said “oh that’ll be another $10.00” then she pushed the buttons again and said “that’ll be another $10.00”. After about the fourth time she finally said “that can’t be right!” I finally said just give me all the money in the account and you can do whatever you like with it because I’m not coming back.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh boy ! What a story Leslie !
      Sorry I have been so long in replying. Your comment with 12 others for this post I found hiding in my dashboard/comments trash. What was it doing there ? I thought comments were quiet ! So, that will be $10 for rescuing your comment, $10 for approving and $10 for this reply. Heehee. 🙂 Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  2. i’m so sorry but flashing back to trying to close my mother’s account after she passed away. at one point, i even said, ‘just keep the money, donate it, i don’t care, i just want to close it and get no more paperwork from you!’ – 5 months later i found a solution by going to another branch and closed it in 3 minutes. i wish cats ran all the banks.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sorry to read about your mom Beth. At that time, one thing you don’t need is that sort of bank stupidity. Big hug. Ralph xox ❤
      BTW Your comment was also in my dashboard/comments/trash. Oh boy !


  3. “Get a Spanish bank account” they said. “It’ll be fun” they said. I did notice the bank logo is BS, but did you pay attention to that? Oh, no, you went right ahead and joined in their merry band of bureau-crazy. I think you just knew it would give you fodder for the blog, a little way down the track.

    I’m going to get a string curtain for my cat, it’ll give me more leisure time during the day.

    Cheers! oxo ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • I didn’t notice that their initials was BS. Very subtle !
      A string curtain works wonders with cats dear Yvonne.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤
      BTW Your comment was also in my dashboard/comments/trash


      • It’s strange how every once in a while, WordPress decides to chuck someone into the trash bin, eh!

        How’s the summer in Austria? ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • That is the second time in this post that I have found your comments in trash Yvonne. Maybe it would help me if you could tell me where you write the comment. Australia would do it. lol. No, I mean my blog, Reader, notifier etc. Widdershins reply this morning was also in trash. Maybe there is something in common.


  4. No thanks to the account. And since the cats can’t be called to account, it’s probably a good thing you don’t have to deal with those money mice again. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awww, that’s a shame Lynette. You could have fed my bank account to a brown bear 🙂
      Cats are free loaders, aren’t they ?
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤
      BTW Your comment was also in my dashboard/comments/trash

      Liked by 1 person

      • I understand. It’s always interesting what happens on WP sometimes. Every now and then I’ll suddenly stop getting the posts of someone I follow and then I find out that I have mysteriously unfollowed them without actually having taken that action. It’s annoying.


      • It is annoying when these issues suddenly appear, isn’t it Lynette ? Usually they take ages to fix. Anyway, I waited a little while before replying as your comment was the last one in trash. It took a week or so to fix and all is back to normal now. Yay ! 🙂 ❤


  5. It’s a madness! I love (not) the way banks happily take your money for years and years and then suddenly refuse to know who you are.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I totally agree with you Gallivanta. It seems like my Spanish bank doesn’t want me to leave them. *sob sob*. Anyway, I needed to write this post as a memory to look back on in a few years time. Oh boy !
      Have a lovely weekend my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well if they are charging a monthly fee and they can charge you interest on late fee payments as well they will make a nice profit out of you. Teehee. You are a valuable customer.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Great minds think alike !
        I did send them this email (I did include the Notary receipt with the documents) 🙂

        “My wife, Natascha, and I have been to the Notary. My passport is certified and my shaking signature is certified. My wife is now at the post office in Graz. The documents will be with you soon.

        On receiving them please ….

        1. Close my account.

        2. Refund any fees and charges made since September 2017 due to your branch refusing to send me statements and refusing to close my account PLUS refund the Notary fees (you wanted it done, not me !)

        3. Transfer the account residue to my Austrian account

        I have written to your complaints dept.

        I hope this is almost the last communication from me”


  6. Ralph it seems from the problems you had getting permission to marry and now the bank fiasco, that if it weren’t for bad luck, you’d have no luck at all!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Spot on Al ! Hopefully it will be all over soon. Meanwhile I am just waiting for my lucky horseshoe to bonk me on the head and knock me out. Ralph 🙂


  7. Hi Ralph, my experience is that banks, although they tout customer service and convenience, are the worst at both! I don’t anticipate you’ll get a whole lot of assistance, especially from a distance. At least I now know who not to bank with if I ever move to Spain!

    Liked by 2 people

    • You are right Des. Long distance banking doesn’t work. You would have thought that as I have drained the account and there is nothing coming into it, they would be glad to get shot of it. Why argue and resist ? Crazy !
      Take care my friend. Ralph 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • I really must agree with you Widdershins. I had closed bank accounts years ago with no problem, but nowadays with all these stupid rules and regulations brought in by the EU, nobody can do anything sensibly any more. Ralph xox ❤
      BTW Your comments were also in my dashboard/comments/trash


      • That is the second time in this post that I have found your comments in trash Widdershins. Maybe it would help me if you could tell me where you write the comment. In the shower would do it. lol. No, I mean my blog, Reader, notifier etc. Yvonne’s reply this morning was also in trash. Maybe there is something in common


  8. The party always ends up in the kitchen 😂
    Give the bank your blog address, maybe that would work🙄. 8)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes Katie, that’s where the food crumbs and residues in bottles are found, but don’t drink the dregs out of cans as they are usually ashtrays by the end of the night. Yuck !
      Ooops ! My bad ! I gave the bank your blog address. That’ll work ! 😉
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Ralph, Spanish banks seem to be more into filing… the fingernails. Banks are hard to deal with anyway everywhere I think though. They are happy when you have a lot of money in but otherwise they make life difficult. Hope the Austrian Banks are a bit easier. At least you can bank on your cats eating, sleeping and playing. They never let you down.

    Liked by 2 people

    • You could be right about the Spanish bank ladies filing of finger nails dear Ute. But in saying that I may have some good news in my next post. * filing my finger nails* 😉
      I had a German bank account when I was based in Germany years ago and they were really good. I could even close it in seconds. I am sure that my Austrian account will be just as efficient.
      That’s true. Cats will never let us down.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤
      BTW Your comment was also in my dashboard/comments/trash

      Liked by 1 person

      • Glad you fished my comment it out! Phew! Love the beanbag by the way , such a wonderful way to relax! Thanks again

        Liked by 1 person

      • I am wondering if you did anything different from your initial comment with this reply Ute, because this reply came up normally in my notifier. I am trying to find out what is going on. Yvonne and Widdershins replies I found in trash this morning. That’s twice. So it seems that something is common with you all such as writing in your Reader, my blog, notifier etc.
        We are so pleased that you love your birthday present. I bet Thomas has taken it over. lol 🙂


  10. OKAY!! Is Samantha chairing the meeting from the stove top? I know she’s a hot cat, but I didn’t know she was “Dangerous”.
    Johnny tried to do the stove top importance lounge once. Let me just say, he has not and will not EVER do that again.
    Moving on! Love the cats playing with the string curtain. I insist you put harp music to it, and send it to your Spanish Bank, with cat paw signatures. Also, a request to have their account closed, as they have moved to Santa Catalina Island, is in order. Please send all further catatonic communications to: Samantha, Sonic and Murli c/o the Cat Island. That should perplex them.
    Sounds like you guys are having a fab life together!
    Sending love, Resa xoxoxoxoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    • Heehee. I wish I had this comment of yours nine months ago as I am sure that all your suggestions would work and I would be free from my Spanish bank account or they would jail me dear Resa. 🙂
      That is a great idea putting harp music to the cats playing with the string curtain. I will suggest that to Natascha.
      Love and hugs from all of us here in Graz. Ralph xox ❤
      BTW Your comment was also in my dashboard/comments/trash


      • Since the new European rules, everything is in my SPAM folder. I need to check it diligently. According to whomever, it seems we are all trash. LOL! I think checking our SPAM is a new normal. Much love to all of you! xoxoxo 😀 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • I agree. I do find one or two comments in spam, but NEVER in comment trash. Weird ! I am amazed that what the EU is doing is affecting everyone, even my friends in Canada !
        Love from your trashy friend in Austria xoxoxo ❤


  11. We tried for a year to get one of our Mexican banks to transfer our account to a branch in a different state. Shuffle, shuffle, power struggle within bank, shuffle, and more shuffle. We finally got a manager to admit that we would need to close out the old account and open a new one. All this so we can make wire transfers. So…I feel your frustration and hope you get literal closure soon.
    Your Wifi,

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh boy, not you as well in Mexico dear Linda ? It seems that you did manage to overcome !
      I do have a feeling that the end of my Spanish bank account is in sight. What else can they screw up ?
      BTW Your comment was also in my dashboard/comments/trash. 12 comments for this post were in there. What was WordPress thinking ? It was pure luck that I found them.
      Big hug to you my wifi. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Cats playing with string curtain, ahhh, Cats playing with string curtain, sweet, Cats playing with string curtain, nice, Cats playing with string curtain. Mmmmm, so relaxed, lovely sleepy, happy feeling. Cats playing with string curtain. Sigh. Could watch them forever. . . . Sorry, what? Banking #ankers? That was the point of the post? Nah, doesn’t compute – Cats playing with string curtain, Cats playing with string curtain etc. 😉

    (Sorry they are giving you such a hard time, Ralph! X x x)

    Liked by 2 people

    • I do too. I may have more news about this in my next post dear Magick Mermaid.
      I also found your comment with many others in my dashboard/comments/trash. You have been rescued. Yay !
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤


  13. I can’t believe the bank nonsense continues. Maybe finally you are on your way to resolving? Perhaps you may look into online banking? Lol 🙂 xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • I can’t believe it either Debby. It seems to go on and on. Even if I wanted to go online with my Spanish bank I would have to visit the branch to do it. Anyway, to go online just close the account probably would not work anyway. Maybe I should put the account on eBay. lol
      Love and hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I’m speechless at this point in regard to your continued problems since deciding to move to Austria! Truly speechless. Hang in there is about all I can come up with! lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks dear Amanda for being speechless. Actually, as well as that, you were almost commentless, as I found your comment in my dashboard/comments/trash with about 12 others. Goodness knows what WP monkeys had been drinking ?
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh dear! Maybe it’s something I said that wp didn’t like! lol just kidding I just read your latest post explaining about your comment dilemma. Have a great day, dear Ralph.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh yes, it was definitely something that you and Yvonne said that messed up my comments. lol. NO, not really, just me screwing up again.
        Thank you and have a great day yourself Amanda. Ralph xox ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  15. 🙄⚠️⚠️⚠️🙄


  16. omg, I can’t believe the trouble you are having with the Bank. I hope it gets sorted out soon, at least the cats don’t have that worry. Love to you both.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for being so sympathetic dear Adele. I agree. I hope it gets sorted soon. That’s one thing about being a cat, they don’t have to worry about money, or anything really.
      Take care and have a lovely day my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Banks are bad enough when you need them not to mention when you don’t need them anymore and want to close your account….I believe a world without them would be much easier🤷🏻‍♀️but I’m still giggling for the cats😹

    Liked by 2 people

  18. When there’s any kind of screw-up that involves computer systems, I find it’s really scary. It seems as if we humans are allowing computers to be more knowledgeable than we are. Thank goodness you can go home to your very entertaining kitties. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  19. God you are so funny.
    I have only one cat, Fifi, and he is alone I guess… but we shower him with love and attention.
    Most of the times he is bad and does a mess around him.
    But now I kind of get used to him.
    Have a nice sunday!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for visiting my blog and all your Likes Katherine. Dozens of them ! lol
      Cats are fun, aren’t they ? Hi Fifi ! Be good !
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤


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