323: Stag Night On My Doorstep

~Stag Night~

This is what a man looks like when he realises that he is getting married in two weeks time.



~The Friends~

Last Friday at very short notice,  really short notice,  friends of Jim met up in a local Spanish bar for his “sort of” stag night.  It was daylight !

Ralph & Einar
Ralph & Einar

As for the women, they were organised !  Einar left his home for the bar with tales of Louise’s hen night in full swing.  Table strewn with “confetti”,  champagne bottles already empty downed through penis drinking straws.  Erect jelly babies with added calories.  And they were only a half an hour into it !

The men,  another kettle of fish !  Well, three of them went fishing in the river (caught 6 barbel, returned to the water) then onto the bar for a beer or two, or three !

Adrian & Ralph

That was the extent of male organisation.

Einar & Jim

No stripper,  not even paint stripper !  And the sheep ran away !

Ralph, Einar, Jim & Chris
Adrian, Ralph, Einar, Jim & Chris

~Guess Who I Am ?~

You know the game !  Someone sticks something on your forehead and you guess away !

Am I male ?  Yes !

Am I upstanding,  but generally hangs himself ?  Yes !

Is hair a feature ?  Yes !

Do I do one thing and then do something completely different ?  Yes !

Am I Donald Trump ?  Yessss !  You guessed it !

Cheers Jim & Louise !  Have a wonderful wedding in the UK on the 16th !

Jim & Louise. Did you notice Jim’s magical spectacles ?

~On My Door Step~

So I slowly made my way home,  singing that after party classic !

I arrived outside my home.  What’s going on ?  My young Spanish neighbour Pedro,  his three children and pet dog Niña were standing on their front balcony in total shock.  It transpired that the new neighbour’s wife went mental over Pedro’s children doing things that children do.  She shouted at them,  saying things like, “Go home to Africa !” and promptly emptied her street sweepings on our door step.

It was Friday night !  Pedro called the local police.

Guess what I saw in the street over the weekend !

Oh boy !  

Monday arrived.  Jack hammer day !  All day !  Pretty much every square foot of the new neighbours house front has been ravaged by the jack hammer.  The noise was awful and then it suddenly stopped.  Yay !

The local police arrived to visit the new neighbours.  Two and a half days after Pedro’s phone call, it must be a serious matter ! 

We could hear what the policeman was saying.  Things like,

Please be calm lady.  Forget cleaning the street as the Town Hall has people to do that !“.

(She’s out sweeping the street now,  3 hours before this post goes live.  So much for the local police advice !  Oh boy !)

As soon as he drove away the jack hammering restarted with a vengeance.  For heaven’s sake. !

The new neighbour gave me the finger when I complained to him about the awful noise.  That was a no-no.  I have initiated payback.  If it works I’ll update you my friends !

Remember:  A great friend is a treasure,  gold,  a keeper;  whereas an enemy is dust which is easily blown away and forgotten.

One of you ladies please sweep me off my feet and take me away from all this madness !

Oh no !  Not her !  😦

Ralph xox ❤

85 Comments on “323: Stag Night On My Doorstep

  1. …’and the sheep ran away!’… love it!What’s that saying about men and sheep?… ah yes … (name of Country of choice) where men are men and the sheep are afraid! 😀 Sounds like you had a truly epic stag afternoon. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Widdershins 🙂
      lol. I think you mean the Welsh in this case 🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑
      And yes, we had a great time and I am sure that Jim will remember it.
      Take care my friend. Ralph 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, it’s me, a lady with a broom, but I’m not sweeping you away. You must stay to take care of Samantha, Sonic…. and ya..,China & Coo Coo?
    Although I am sending you an email which I hope will take you away. Yes, I’m still threatening to send email. 😀
    Is the person who vacuumed the street in jail, now? Just asking.
    Seems like you guys had the best Stag Party. It must be the best because it’s the only one I ever heard of in the afternoon.
    Much love, Resa xoxo ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello dear Resa 🙂
      Ah, so you are the Lady with a Broom ? If you have a pilot’s licence you can use the broom to come and visit me. Bring Jeep and Johnny ! lol
      No, she is not in jail. Should be ! She is now not picking up her sweepings, but making quite a pile in front of our home in the Street. Self defeating really as the road slopes down towards her house and if it rains the whole lot will be spread everywhere in front of her house. Oh boy !
      Yes, I had to have Jim’s stag party in the afternoon as my cats ordered me to be home before dark 🙂
      Love and hugs. Ralph xoxoxo ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’d take you way but I am married and not too sure how your cats would get long with mine….lol!! It sounds to me like your neighbors have nothing better to do and that’ probably why they want to make everyone so miserable. Just take care of yourself my friend!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Kat 🙂
      Haha ! Thanks for telling me that you are married and probably problems with cats.
      You are probably right, the new neighbours are spending loads of money for nothing really and making a heck of a racket in doing so.
      Take care my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Lilly 🙂
      Heehee. What a great comment ! Thank you so much my friend.
      Thank you, and have a lovely weekend yourself.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh geez! All that fun and excitement to return home to more courtesy of the neighbours from hell!! Poor you.

    I’d love to be able to offer advice, but I don’t have any. Although I’m curious, when she was brushing the street did you not think of dropping a frying pan or some kind of similar object on her head? Lol

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Juls 🙂
      Mucho oh geez ! That’s right. A great party, then get home to new neighbour madness. Dropping a frying pan on her head would be a waste of a good frying pan I reckon. lol.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤


    • Hello Binky 🙂
      Oh no ! That too much noise must be caused by my new neighbours’ relations living near you. So sorry !
      Thank you and have a lovely weekend watching the birds fly by.
      Love to you and Granny. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. All the best to Jim and Louise finally tying the knot. How wonderful. When they are back demand a party! 🙂 More booze and Penis straws…. or maybe not.. women may be present. How are Hilda and David doing, have you heard form them?

    Your neighbours… I am just speechless. It is like a soap story now, you could invite TV and have a new exciting episode every week. Always something happening.
    Take care Ralph, and be aware and careful!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Ute 🙂
      Now that’s a great idea, another party ! Their wedding is a good excuse. Hey, it’s the women who had the penis straws ! lol
      Hilda came by train for the hen night. David didn’t come as he is not too well. He has had to give up driving due to a glaucoma in one of his eyes. What a bummer !
      I am speechless too. I am amazed at just two people creating such havoc and who don’t really care.
      I hope you are having a lovely weekend my friend.
      Love Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, I should have joined…. hehe ,Sorry to hear about David. Please send both my regards when you see or hear from Hilda and David and all the best!

        Liked by 1 person

      • You would have loved the hen party, I know you would Ute. I’ll pass your regards on when I next phone them.
        Have a lovely special day tomorrow. R xx

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow! Lots happening in this post! I think the stag party sounded great 🙂
    …I love the photo of the old lady vacuuming the street! Haha!!! What a wonderful country we live in!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Carly 🙂
      Yes, I am amazed as well that I can fill my posts every fortnight. Heck, I should be living in a quiet Spanish mountain village where nothing should happen, but it does. In spades !!
      She is weird, isn’t she ? But hey, great blog folder, yes ?
      Indeed. Wonderful Spain !
      I hope you are feeling well and enjoying this warm weekend. I am so pleased that the cold days are behind us and summer is almost here. Yay !
      Big hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Haha, yes I imagined the Ronda to be quite a sleepy place. Good to know some of the craziness of Spain reaches you! I am always on the lookout for inspiration like the street vacuuming lady 😛
        Ooh, Madrid is hot at the moment! I use it as an excuse to drink white wine on terraces and eat plenty of ice lollies!
        Take care

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ronda is a very busy busy touristy town, full of crocodiles of Chinese following a man with a stick in the air. After 10 minutes, back on the coach, lunch in Madrid and tea in Barcelona. And what do I get ? A crazy street vacuuming woman !
        Yes, I bet Madrid is hot, hot ! Same here, but a strong cool wind which is rather nice.
        Ah ha, an excuse ! Can you buy white wine ice lollies ? lol
        Take care yourself Carly especially when there is wine around 🙂
        Ralph xx

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Shey 🙂
      lol. I am so pleased that you enjoyed this post my friend. Please call me d*ckhead as I am no Donald 🙂
      I can’t wait for the payback, but it is not up to me to implement it. See what happens !
      Have a lovely Sunday my friend.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Hmm, sound like you and the men were having really good time. I am wondering were there anyone nearby and what their expression about the game, items the men were playing 🙂

    I think your neighbors keep you and your cats entertained 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello YC 🙂
      Yes, we men did have a great time, but no one else seems to be worried about our fun.
      The new neighbours to keep me entertained, but I would rather have GOOD neighbours.
      Take care my friend. Ralph 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Ralph, I’m glad you get to have some good times out and the stag drinks looks very relaxing and harmonious. Unlike your irksome neighbours – what a nightmare and a hellish situation for you all. I feel for you…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Annika 🙂
      Thank you so much for commenting. Yes, all the men are friends so the stag party went exceedingly well.
      Yuk ! My new neighbours, who’d ‘ave ’em ?
      I hope you are having a lovely Sunday my friend.
      Take care. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. After the stag – reality hits. I think your neighbours are nut bars. There’s no dealing with “wing nuts”. Just smile and walk away. They way they’re going they’ll be locked up and probably soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello dear Mia 🙂
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I do hope that the payback does work. We shall see.
      Thank you and do have a lovely Sunday yourself my friend.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❤


  10. Ralph,
    I am (almost) speechless after reading your post. Never a dull moment in your little part of Spain. I hope you didn’t move there looking for peace and quiet. I understand the party of rambunctious seniors. I understand, as much as anyone can, your crazy neighbor VACUUMING the street. What I don’t get is the jackhammering! What in the world are they having done to their house that would require jackhammering??? …and now stay tuned for another episode of “Ralph’s World” in which four cats try to bring a semblance of sanity to the neighborhood.
    Have a great week,

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello wifi Linda 🙂
      Really ? You understand vacuuming the Street ! lol
      Yes, the jackhammering ! Seven months of it ! They have been roughening the concrete and brick walls inside and out to add tiles and facades. They have been burying every inside and outside electrical cables. The downpipe from the gutter has also been buried and has more bends in it than a scrunched up piece of wire. They will probably have to dig it out soon as the sparrows nest in the gutter which will soon block the downpipe. That I do know as I had to clear that pipe every year.
      Maybe I should not have looked for peace and quiet. lol
      I agree, the cats are the only sane ones here ! 🙂
      Thank you and have a lovely week yourself my friend.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Too bad your neighbour didn’t get sucked into her vacuum, never to be seen or heard from again. What a colossal pain in your backside those two donkeys are. They make my blood boil just reading about their ridiculously selfish antics. *insert eye roll*

    Glad you and the boys got rowdy with a few pints and had a nice time together! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Tanya 🙂
      I am with you 100%. Thanks for being so understanding my friend.
      Yes, we did have a great time together.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Magick Mermaid 🙂
      Thank you so much. I will pass your best wishes onto them.
      I hope the payback works too.
      Have a lovely week my friend.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Okay, what’s up with the jack hammering? What on earth are they doing? These people are savages.
    Oh, love your ‘confetti’ and your impersonation of Dump LOL 🙂 Sending you big hus cuz you need them. 🙂 ❤ xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Debby 🙂
      Rather than repeating it would be nice if you could read my reply to Linda, three commenters above yours about jackhammering. I wish they didn’t make so much noise as it is amplified throughout the building. Oh boy !
      Seems like you would have had a whale of a time if you were there with the girls at the hen night.
      Thank you so much my friend, I love hugs 🙂
      Happy Sunday ! Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Grr, that’s bloody awful! Have you checked to make sure these beasts have permits to do all this? It would be a shame if they were missing one or two. 🙂 Just sayin’ 🙂 And you can be sure I’d have had a blast at the hen party. 🙂 xoxo ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • I was having a chat with another Spanish neighbour this morning and she thinks that these Romanians, new neighbours, have paid someone in the local Spanish Town Hall to either turn a blind eye or write a false permission. I wouldn’t be surprised !
        Haha, I bet you would have had a great time Debby 🙂
        Ralph xx

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Liberty 🙂
      What a lovely name !
      Thank you so much for visiting and making your comment.
      Ha ha, it seems like I am living in a virtual world or a computer game. LOL.
      Thanks again my new friend and do have a lovely week.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  13. omg, those neighbours are getting worse. How dare they speak to Pedro’s children like that, who do they think they are. As for the jackhammering, do they have a permit to do said jackhammering? Looking forward to seeing your revenge on the neigh-neigh-silly ass neighbours. 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good afternoon Adele 🙂
      I know ! They are awful talking to the children like that. I wish I was here to hear it and I would have laid in on this awful woman. Honestly, I don’t think the Spanish Town Hall, Guardia Civil and local police give a monkey’s as they seem to be doing little or nothing. Mind you, I hope that my payback will be activated, I am still waiting for that.
      Have a lovely evening my friend.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤


    • Hello Lynette 🙂
      Heehee. Good idea, but I would not wish my new neighbours on anyone including them naughty aliens 😉
      I agree. Mega-yucks !
      Big hugs. Ralph xox ❤


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  15. Oh Ralph, the penis and straws made me laugh. Whereabouts are they getting married in the UK?

    Sorry about your new neighbours are they the same ones you were having problems with before?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Sandra 🙂
      Yep, thought they might. lol
      They got married in the Midlands and are back here now.
      Yep, same lot ! Oh boy !
      Hope you are having a lovely week my friend.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • That must be an absolute nightmare for you. Hugs xx I have been off work with a nasty virus and Chestnut had to have a minor eye op – but I received my Asexual Perspectives print book proofs and posted about it. 18 months of hard work and dedication paid off!! Finally, a book in print, to call my own – under Quirky Books!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh dear, I am so sorry to read about you and Chestnut. I hope you both get better soon.
        Yay ! You have a book published Sandra ! I know it was a lot of hard work for you and I am so pleased that you have finally made yourself into an published author. Well done my friend. Yay ! Happy happy for you.
        I won’t give you a hug as I don’t want to catch your nasty virus. lol. But here is a virtual one ((hug)) 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hi Ralph, thank you my friend. I worked tirelessly to get that book finished. I have still some symptoms but should not be contagious anymore, so back to work vs Chestnut has anti-biotics and is doing well as Thanks for hug xx

        Liked by 1 person

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  17. From the first picture, seems your friend is not so happy to get married in two weeks. You guys should have had a different icon on the table. Guys get to play with the “butterfly” if you know what I mean, and girls get to play with “jewels”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Valentina 🙂
      You have pretty much knocked the nail on the head with your comment. Ooops ! This whole stag party was all last minute. These items were what the girls had and were shown to us. We had NOTHING ! lol
      Hugs, Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Vinneve 🙂
      Awww ! Thank you so much. What wonderful feedback. I am so pleased that you enjoy my posts..
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Ralph, tell the newlyweds a friend from U.S. wishes them well. I have a Spanish toast: “Salud, pesetas y amor. Y tiempo para gastarlos.” 🍾🍷🍻

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Robin 🙂
      I saw Jim and Louise the other night at our local Spanish village carnival and passed your message onto them and it was received with greatful thanks.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤


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