322: Home Help ….. HELP !

~The Form~

Toni,  my young Spanish friend and neighbour thinks it’s a good idea to get me a Home Help from the Spanish Social Services,  as Toni and her family are rarely home during the day and I might do something stupid like stand up and breathe I suppose.

This week,  Toni brought me the four page form to fill in.

Hello !  I can’t write !  A two year old is a calligraphist compared to my Picasso inspired signature.  So Toni filled in the form for me.

~The Blonde~

I wonder what the Home Help would look like ?


Will this blonde have an intelligent conversation with me ?  

(Watch this video.  So funny !)


Dream on Ralph !  Knowing me this is probably the Home Help I’ll get !

~What Would She Do ?~

I am quite capable of doing large things around the apartment such as washing the dishes (sort of !),  making my bed while the cats are trying their best to wreck what I’m doing,  and brush the floor.

I haven’t a clue what a Home Help does.  Wash the dishes,  make the bed and brush the floor I suppose.

It’s the small things I find almost impossible to do such as organising paperwork and picking up a coin on the floor.

The Home Help could sort out my paperwork (transfer my Last Will & Testament into her name).  She could pick up coins and if caught emptying my wallet she would probably tell me that €50 notes look untidy in there.

I have no idea what a Home Help does !

~I Bet My Cats Know !~

Oh boy !  You lot are a real help,  aren’t you ?

Would you like to be my Home Help or girlfriend ?

I have no idea what you would do !  Tell me !  🙂

Ralph xox ❤


99 Comments on “322: Home Help ….. HELP !

    • Hello Tink 🙂
      Wow, this is probably the shortest happy comment I have ever received. Thank you so much my friend.
      Take care. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  1. They probably have a website … do some research before you sign anything, then call and talk to someone and ask what they offer, see if it fits with your needs. Then make a decision whether to fill out the paperwork. 😀 Good luck.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Widdershins 🙂
      Thank you so much for your advice. I will ask Toni to find the relevant Spanish website. I understand that soon after my paperwork arrives in the relevant office I will be receiving a visit from an assessor who will decide whether I need help or not. That could take weeks.
      I know from personal experience in caring for a woman who was dying of cancer, I was on my own 24/7 and really needed help from somewhere. I was told by the Spanish Social services that it would take 10 months for me to get a helper which was totally useless as she died after three months.
      Have a lovely weekend my friend. Ralph 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

  2. I don’t know about you, but I need this Home Help to remember my passwords, where I put my keys and where my glasses are hiding.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Jan 🙂
      lol. So funny, but at the same time so true. Your comment really put a smile on my face.
      Happy Saturday my friend.
      Ralph xox ❤


  3. I’m disappointed and upset reading this sexist post from you. Even though I grasp the intended irony, I feel bad, because I (not a blonde; not a true girl either) have done this kind of home work in the past; when in need, and at the same time I’ve been able to keep intelligent conversations with my employers. I thought you were a kind, open-minded man, but maybe I was wrong. If you really mind how your “Home Help” would look like, you don’t need home help!(or yes; not to wash the dishes, but other things) :/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Li 🙂
      I almost deleted this comment of yours, but no as you deserve a reply.
      So what you are saying is that I should post,

      ” Toni got me a form, we filled it in. I might get a Home Help. The end “.

      What a load of rubbish ! These posts of mine are not just written for my benefit, but for many of those who enjoy a laugh of which there is not much nowadays.
      You are welcome to comment and criticise. To me it is water off a ducks back. Anyway, it is my blog and I will write in it what I want to say and reading the other comments quite a few fellow bloggers enjoyed it and are joining in the fun.
      Brighten up a bit Li !
      Ralph 🙂

      Liked by 4 people

      • You’re right, Ralph. I sincerely apologize. And also you’re right about my need of brighting up and getting better. I’m having a bad time and drinking too much, sometimes. I’m Sorry!! :/


    • Hello Leslie 🙂
      lol. You are so funny ! You would definitely arrive in Sydney if you were on that flight then … perhaps 😉
      I hope you are having a lovely weekend my friend.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you Ralph, the weather seems to have cleared so it is going to be most excellent to get into the garden. Have a great weekend Ralph.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s great Leslie ! I hope you had a lovely day in the garden … in a deckchair, glass of wine in hand, hat over your face, snoring gently 😉 lol ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  4. home help may do whatever you and the band of cats need. will they help with those crazy neighbors?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Beth 🙂
      That’s great to have someone to pop around and help with the fiddly things I can’t do. Toni and Pedro, my young Spanish neighbours, are a real treasure as they have been doing so much of that type of thing for me.
      I don’t think that a Home Help could sort out my new crazy neighbours. Hey, I have just had a thought. I hope that the Spanish Social Services will not employ them as my Home Help. OMG ! Heehee 🙂
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤


  5. If this wasn’t so serious, I’d be laughing! Your post is so cleverly put together (as always). Home health can do what you are unable to do safely. I’m sure your friends can help you sort out those things you need help with. The three cats and Coo Coo are cute and funny, but they’re in it for themselves. Don’t ask them for help to fill out the paperwork. Good Luck, my friend! 🌺🌷🌸 Christine

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Christine 🙂
      I suppose it is serious, but hey I have to laugh about it or I would go loopy. Generally I am okay with Tony and Pedro’s help, but it is usually the one off little things which I need help with.
      I agree that my cats et cetera are in it for themselves, but I still love them.
      Thank you so much for your lovely comment my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Merci beaucoup pour votre gentil commentaire Georges et passez un beau week-end vous-même. Ralph 🙂


    • Hello Shey 🙂
      That’s very kind of you to say. No sensible offers as yet.
      It’s a shame really that you are married and trapped by hoards of hamsters, so it must be a neither/nor in your case. *sobs quietly in a cat basket* 😉
      Have a lovely Sunday dear friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Ralph, I reckon a home help helps with everything you cannot do, like cutting your nails, fill in forms, I think they would tailor it to the individual person. Is Toni still cooking for you? They might cook for you too. I guess they would let you know and tell you first if you are eligible to have a home help. After listening to the blonde joke you might not want a blonde. She might put tipex all over your computer screen if she types something wrong. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Ute 🙂
      Thank you so much for telling me how a Home Help works. Yes, Toni is still cooking for me. We were talking about it the other day as we just passed the five-year mark. Doesn’t time fly ?
      Ha ha. I love your blonde joke 🙂
      Have a lovely Sunday my friend. Ralph xox ❤


  7. I don’t know what a home help will do in Spain, but without my Mum’s home help, before she passed away, it would have been far more stressful for us all than it was. I think she will be a very nice Spanish lady who will maybe even do home cooking for you. Have a great week my friend, and say miaow to the cats and cuckoo to the clock for me. 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Adele 🙂
      I am so sorry to read about the loss of your mum. You must have been devastated. But on the plus side having a home help must have relieved the pressure from you and the rest of your family.
      It’s my young neighbour, Toni’s idea that I should apply for a Home Help. See what happens, see if I am entitled to government help and, so, I will just have to wait, probably for months, until a decision is made.
      Thank you my friend and do have a lovely Sunday.
      Meows and cuckoos passed to the relevant members of my apartment.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello YC 🙂
      Thank you for commenting my friend . No, I will not have to pay for this service. The UK and Spain have a reciprocal arrangement for medical treatment and services like this which is normally for free.
      Take care. Ralph:)

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I think I’d like to be one of your feisty felines actually, looks they have a pretty good lay about life! 😊 Seriously though Ralph, i think a Home Help could help with most things, maybe specify what you really need, whether it’s cooking or cleaning. Good luck my friend. 💕😃

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Miriam 🙂
      lol. The cats have a good life, don’t they ? I can imagine many humans being really jealous of their way of life 🙂
      Thank you for the Home Help information my friend. See what happens !
      I do hope that you are having a lovely weekend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes Ralph, your cats, my dog, they have it good! My weekend has been good too, hope yours is as well. Cheers xo ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Annette 🙂
      Awww ! You are so sweet. Thank you so much my friend.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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  10. Ralph, I love your humorous take on Home Health Services. May you be assigned the blonde of your dreams! I don’t know what they would do for you but you could start the process by thinking about what you ask Toni to do for you and what you would rather not do for yourself. It sounds like you have plenty of time to consider this before anything happens.😀
    Have a great week!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Linda 🙂
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. That’s a great idea for me to think about what type of help I need. Really I don’t need a lot, just the odd thing now and again, usually small things that are too fiddly.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  11. I’m glad to hear that Toni will be assisting you to find the right person. And I’m glad you’re going to get a bit of help. I’m sure you’ll be grateful in the long run . . . even if the help doesn’t turn out to be a hot blonde in a tight skirt, lol. Keep us posted! Big hugs! xoxo ❤ Deb

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Debby 🙂
      Thank you so much for your fun comment my friend. Actually, the whole idea was Toni’s and I am going along with it. See what happens, but I doubt she will be a hot blonde *cry* 😉
      Have a lovely week.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Well Ralph you have a load of women on here (me included) who cannot wait to see who you get and if it’s a guy, well, then that would make an entirely different post… we shall see… Good Luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Lara 🙂
      Wow, I didn’t think that anyone would be interested to see who I would get as a Home Help if I get one at all. No way would I want a guy as he would probably take me hunting, strip bark off of cork trees and spend the rest of the time in the local bar. I agree, that would be a different post 🙂
      Have a lovely week my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post and the comments too, Ralph. Always very clever writing and posts from you, and it always came across to me you could do anything to take over the world 😀 Anyway, hope the House Help will be of some use to you, maybe like cooking you wonderful meals. Hope they are one of the nice ones too and they don’t get up to no good 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Mabel 🙂
      Thank you so much for visiting and leaving me with such a wonderful comment. I really do appreciate all that you have said in there. I agree, I hope that if I do get a Home Help that she will be nice and honest.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Stay positive my dear friend! “And when you want something,all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” _ Paulo Coelho 😀 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello dear Pelly 🙂
      Oh yes, I am always positive ! The universe is working well with us two, isn’t it ?
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Okay,
    Are the cats brushed, fed and watered?
    Is the entire apartment up to China Cat snuff?
    Are all nests in order?
    Are all lint rollers costing a fortune?
    We love you!

    Jeep and Johnny
    xoxo ❤ Resa, too!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Jeep and Johnny 🙂

      Are the cats brushed, fed and watered ?CHECK
      Is the entire apartment up to China Cat snuff? CHECK
      Are all nests in order? CHECK
      Are all lint rollers costing a fortune ? CHECK
      Thank you and we love you too our friends.
      xoxo ❤ and Daddy sends big hugs to your mom.
      Love Sonic and Samantha xx


  16. Dear friend Ralph,

    You forgot the most important things the home help would do – laugh at your jokes and play with your kitties. 🙂

    Your pal,

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello dear Nancy 🙂
      Wonderful advice from you my friend. I will definitely take note of your comment.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Oh, Ralph! I will hope you find a kind, caring and good listener of ahome health care, maybe a pretty friend to spend time helping you!! Big hugs 💖💕❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello dear Robin 🙂
      What an absolutely wonderful comment from you dear friend. Thank you so much for being so lovely.
      Love and hugs. Ralph xox ❤


  18. Sorry to tell you, Ralph…. but…. the way I see it, you are bound to get a largish grey haired woman who will probably become a dear friend… no sex, either!
    Ah well, it could be worse… or could it? ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Hey there pawsome friend and kitties!
    LOL LOL! You crack me up!💕😂😸 I love your posts! Thanks for making me laugh!

    Aside from hopefully being a pretty Lady (you could get a man too lol😆😹), another important thing would be that they be kind to your kitties too!
    I’m always overly protective of cats and my cats. And also not leave the door open or anything, for them to run out. You know, someone who isn’t used to having cats in the home, and therefore doesn’t really know that they have to be careful with what they’re doing.

    But coming from me, I’m probably overly worried like always. (I have generalized anxiety disorder, and I’m often not sure if me being so careful and worried about some things is even necessary or warranted for another person’s situation)

    I’m not sure either of what a home help would do in Spain. I have heard about different kinds of helps that come to people, that social services provide. Here a medical help like a nurse would be provided by the public health care services. And you have to fill forms out with them.

    If social services provides a help, it’s often someone that helps with daily things of life as well as appointments and paper work of all sorts. Like they may go shopping with you, and they help you fill out forms and paperwork, and help you with all kinds of formalities in life.

    Then there are those who simply help around the home, with cleaning and tidying up and all those kinda things. There’s also a service who brings warm meals to people everyday.

    The other kind of government thing (which no one would want normally) is the one who basically makes decisions for you, because they (social services) think you aren’t able to take care of yourself or make decisions for yourself. Yikes!!!

    Like others said, I’d totally do research on it before sending any filled and signed papers off. Just so you know what a home help would actually do.

    hehe, I love Samantha and Sonic! Gosh I would spoil them so much! So adorable those two.
    I’m going to end this comment now, because it’s getting really long again…
    I hope you have a lovely day with Samantha and Sonic, and you’re all feeling well!
    Hugs & love,
    Natascha and Murli😺

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Natasha and Murli 🙂
      Happy, happy ! I am so pleased that you enjoyed this post. I must do another one for you.
      For a Home Help I would prefer a pretty lady like you. A man, no ! That is so true, the person must be kind to my cats. I am like you, very protective of them and always worry about them. I don’t think that you are overly worried, just careful.
      It is Toni’s (my neighbour’s) idea that I need a home help during the day. I am not so sure as I seem to be ticking along quite satisfactorily for a number of years. In saying that, there are many instances when I do need help such as helping me sort out my paperwork and doing fiddly things for me and I really do enjoy female company.
      Thank you so much for your help in explaining what a home help could do for me.
      That is very kind of you to say that you could spoil Sonic and Samantha. They would love it !
      Yes, I have had a lovely morning, been shopping in this heat, chatted to a few local Spanish villagers and I really enjoyed the walk.
      I do hope that you are having a lovely day too my friend.
      Love and hugs. Ralph, Sonic and Samantha xxx ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hello there my friend & sweet kitties!
        Yay! I really love reading your blog! I read back a bit too! As there’s got to be lots of fun to be had reading the older posts that I haven’t seen yet.

        I had to laugh so much at Samantha putting in a password for the TV channels that aren’t for minors😂😂😂😂

        I’d love to help you with those paper sorting things. And I’d spoil the cats. As I’d love hanging out with a friend like you. I’m sure Murli would too. Geez and my head would hurt a lot less in that climate too. Too bad we don’t live closer together.

        Yeah I’m definitely careful. Murli is my priority in everything😸

        Oh right we talked about how we wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy a vacation because we would constantly worry about the cats back home 😸😄 So we really are the same in that regard.

        I’m sure you’re doing well. Maybe they have different kinds of home helps. I guess it’s best to read up on what a home help would do in Spain and then decide if you really need it.

        Your apartment is absolutely gorgeous from the pictures I saw. But what a shame with those NewN’s. Are they crazy?

        I’m glad to hear you had a lovely morning! Our day was great, although a bit busy. No migraine all day!😊

        Murli and I wish you all a good night and happy dreams! Hope it’s not too warm during the night.
        Purrs, hugs and love,
        Natascha and Murli 💜💜💜

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hello again dear Natasha and Murli 🙂
        That is very sweet of you to read some of my older posts and I just love your password paragraph. Cats do have fun, don’t they ?
        We had a sort of family get-together, well my two cats and I, and we have come to the conclusion that we would love you to come and visit. Let’s see what the future brings ! If you do visit you will be able to see the apartment, won’t you ?
        I do hope that today was not too strenuous for you and that by now you have finished.
        It’s the lovely warm evening, Sonic and Samantha had just had their supper, I have finished my new post which is going live in about four hours. So all is good here in southern Spain.
        Love and hugs for you my friend and Murli. Ralph xox ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Meow and hello my dear friend Ralph and kitties😽😘
        Oh yes! And I’m going to read even more of your older posts! I just love it. I love reading what you write. Makes my generally bright & happy self even brighter & happier lol😂😹
        I agree! Cats have generally a blast and lots of fun!

        Omg this is settled! Definitely coming! And looking forward to it so much! Haha Murli agreed too! 😹😂💖
        Yes, let’s see what the future brings!

        I will be replying to your amazing epic emails 2morrow for more detail😉
        I’ll write a lil email to you after this, just about our day and random things 😆

        Love and hugs to you and the kitties!😉😻💖

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow, what a lovely comment from you dear Natasha and Murli ! And another wow for you rummaging through my old posts. Have fun.
        And another wow is for you agreeing to come. How exciting for all of us ! I am looking forward to your replies, I am sure that they will be epic !
        Lots of love and hugs. Ralph, Sonic, Samantha, China Cat and Coo Coo 💕💕💕💕💕

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for your sweet reply! 😽😘💞
        Haha so you are up late just like me😹😂
        Was just reading through posts and then I saw it didn’t say the usual “following” for your blog. Then I was like “wut!?” and clicked to follow. A another reload later it looked like I don’t follow you again. I went to the browser and followed you there. Basically, I must have screwed up somewhere and clicked it by accident. Just letting you know. Not wanting you to think I’ve gone crazy in the middle of the night lol😂😂😂
        All good! I guess I’ll be saying my 3rd(?) good night now?
        Sleep well! Murli and I send you all a bunch of love and hugs 🐾💜💜💜😘😽

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I was up late last night. Blogging & emails take forever, don’t they ?
        So WordPress threw a wobbly again. Not to worry as it has happened to me in the past. WP is crazy, not you dear Natascha.
        I hope you slept well with Murli.
        Love ya ! Ralph xxx 😊😺😺💕💕💕


    • Hello Dippy-Dotty Girl 🙂
      Thank you so much for visiting this post and commenting. That is really sweet of you.
      The Home Help has come to a grinding halt. It seems that my Spanish Town Hall registration as run out of date and has to be renewed. I really don’t know why as the Town Hall is still standing and I am still living here for 13 years. Spanish bureaucracy …. arghhh !
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Binky 🙂
      Your job at Granny’s must be exhausting. Anyway, you are always welcome to come and help us. We would like that.
      Love S&S&s ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  20. So funny! Sex – yes please you said! You may get the woman who is not the blonde – but she may like more sex than the blonde! She may be able to give you a good spanking or whatever else you may like and there is more of her to hold for stability.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Hey, you started all this spanking stuff Sandra. lol. I am not into violence too and never will be. Big hug. 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hello HW 🙂
      Probably the day pretty blondes are no longer on this planet. lol
      Love your comment !
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤


  21. LOL! You always make me laugh! Can’t wait for the home help to arrive … both in real home and here -:)!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Daniela 🙂
      lol. Yep, it’s another fun post ! Should be good blogging material if I do get a Home Help, eh ?
      Take care my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Hi MFR, You need a home health care nurse to pick up coins off the floor? Are your floors paved in gold coins? You shouldn’t have any problem getting someone to do that! Well, unless they were wearing that little black dress uniform. BTW You too could be a blonde, but if you go blonde, I think you should avoid wearing that outfit when you pick up coins, too. Hope things go well with the process. Maybe you should just have the home health care services pay the cats. They might do a better job around there if they had some monetary rewards. Or you could just throw some money at them yourself and see if they would pick it up for you. Take care, my friend. I’ll move ahead now to the next post. I am getting caught up tonight. so I can be at the 100% read level. However, I don’t know if my comments will make sense after a while. Stay tuned. Lots of love, MFR. RVBFM xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello MVBFM 🙂
      Do you know what ? I had completely forgotten about writing this post about getting a Home Help. As things are going so well between Natascha and myself I may not need one after all. Who knows ?
      Have a lovely day my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • That would be fabulous, wouldn’t it? So amazing how God works out the best for us when we are patient. You have definitely been patient. Lots of hugs, MFR. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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