320: Older Man

~Why you should choose to be with an older man~

As an older man I am completely useless in finding a woman to come and live with me.  I have come up with a plan and that is to lay it all out on the table, be positive and open.  After reading this you will come running to live with me.  

Here goes.

 

One:  You will be amazed that an older man can count without using the calculator on a smartphone.

Three:  An older man will probably grab hold of your breast in the street.  That’s okay, he just lost his balance.

Four:   The older man will take longer to get dressed than you and you will probably find him wearing your underwear only because he picked up the nearest thing to put on.

Five:  You may spend many hours in the shower with an older man because both of his hands are grasping tightly on the handrails as he can’t stand up properly.

Six:  You may be dying to have sex with him whereas the older man may be dying when he has sex with you.

Seven:  The older man may ask you why you are wearing a catapult when he sees your thong climbing out of your denims half way up your back.

Eight:  The older man may offer to cook you an amazing dinner then forget why he is in the kitchen.

Nine:  The older man is well travelled and while having a cuddle with you, will call you Yoko, Fatima, Gerta, Mavis and Honey-Bunny all in the same sentence.

Ten:  The older man is great at listening when you tell him of your day of shoe shopping and he will answer you with 75 reasons of why a bicycle chain falls off its wheel sprocket.

See !  I am totally irresistible and incredible !

Oh boy !

You have never met an older man like me, or have you ?

Start running !  No !  This way !  😉

Ralph xox ❤

77 Comments on “320: Older Man

    • Hello Annette 🙂
      Indeed ! Probably due to balance issues, or they just Rock Baby ! I do hope that I am in the second group my friend.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Number 2 is definitely missing Ralph. For # 2 you could say that older men have a great sense of humour?
    Leslie

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hello Beth 🙂
      Wow ! Thank you so much my friend. I was coming to the conclusion that because of these post comments I seem to be selling sand to a middle eastern country full of sand dunes. lol
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Campervan Merry (my voice/typing app wrote that) 🙂 lol

      Hello Mary 🙂
      You are so sweet. Thank you so much for saying that to me my friend.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  2. Hahaha! I agree and empathize well with most of your reasons. In fact, I’ve almost always been with men older than I -often quite older-. The only really important thing I’ve requested from them all is sweetness and, precisely, sympathy and sense of humor. So if you are so alone and willing enough to adopt a strayed, forlorn mid-aged femboy, well educated and knowledgeable in most arts and sciences, as well as in languages -but demanding with respect to intimate intercourse and physical satisfaction-, just drop me a word 🙂 I’m available and needed of an elderly and fatherly man right now.
    Best regards, a hug and a kiss. Honest :)) ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Li,
      Wow, what a comment ! Thank you so much for taking a little interest in me and in being so straight with me. So I must be straight with you. My relationship with men has not gone beyond work and talk, never was and never will be. This is no way a rejection, but just the way I am. So I do hope that you find who are looking for pretty soon.
      Take care. Ralph 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, OK 🙂
        I thank you for being so kind and polite to me! Not everybody is. Also I want to clarify I was not playing with you -God forbid!-. I’m just lonely, mourning and having a hard time; and I followed my intuition (which failed this time, somehow :)) No problem!
        Ralph, please, be reassured I’m not a kind of slut looking for “trap money”. I’m fair; but not much a “boy” (as I, myself, tacitly said in my comment)… I’m in transition, growing tits and hips, and so far in life I’ve considered myself as a bi-gender person. I feel very girly nowadays. Not long from now, I’ll be a passable female with respect to my looks and demeanour. I’m a female in my heart already now.
        If you ever feel like saying something more to me, you’ll find my email on the contact page of my blog.
        A tight hug and a sweet kiss (if you allow me :)) 💋 ✨”

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hi again… I forgot to tell you I appreciated your last nice wish. I do hope too to find a suitable mate soon. I’m quite desperate of being an outcast. But it’s not at all easy, since I’m weird to most men, and not a single one, lately, takes me seriously, as a serious partner. I have suitors that just want to get it on me, which is fine, and I like a lot to be taken and used, but they do not want to go afterwards to a concert with me or comment on some poem I’ve written. Also, straight men feel ashamed being seen with a bigendered person, not entirely and clearly feminine, and some gay men dislike my tits and my wearing skirts, bras and heels sometimes… and especially my sincere wish of becoming a real wife one day. So, sometimes I drink too much and send messages online like this or the previous ones; or I go out to walk the street (not for money!, but to get some company for the night – and then I wish to drop dead just when I get awake after all the mess).
        I’m very sorry to tell this here. You can delete my comments if they have embarrassed you. I’m very sorry 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hello again Li 🙂
        Maybe it is best for me to reply to both of your very long and open comments in this one response.
        All of what you said is way beyond my comprehension, but I am pleased in the respect that I can read what you say without prejudice or judgement. It’s always a good thing to be able to talk to someone and get it all off your chest. I don’t mind reading what you have to say if it helps.
        I hope your Sunday is a good one. Ralph 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Peggy 🙂
      Oh dear ! Poor thing ! In that case you have my deepest sympathy. Good luck my friend.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Incredible Ralph! Brilliant reasons….. you might end up with the same sort of woman, it happens to us too…. Now, that would be a fun relationship. I do agree with China cat, a promotion is in order. When you promote her can you promote me too please? I don’t seem to get anywhere. I would be happy to be a floor Manager with the responsibility of your china cat.
    Thank you in advance! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Ute 🙂
      Heck ! You mean to say that women may be the same ? Oh boy, I didn’t think of that ! 😉
      lol. Of course I will promote you to Floor Manager too Ute. China Cat would like you to take her place. Same terms. Lay on the floor 24/7, no pay and have a glossy coat and a glazed look in your eyes. I reckon you could do that 😉 Or are you talking about real work ? We reckon that at those times when you are completely overwhelmed with work, you should go into Costa Blanca mode. Open up a deckchair, put on a summer hat and sunglasses, glass of orange juice in your hand and say, “Hang on a minute, I have to drop everything, this is an emergency !”. Should work 😉
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ralph, Thank you soooo much, I am working on the glossy coat, but got the glazed look already 🙂 Oh yes thank you for the wonderful idea, yes Costa Blanca mode, need that more often in between. I will incorporate that in my working life. Thanks so much. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • If you do do it, it will make a great post, that is if you can shake yourself out of the Costa Blanca mode Ute 😉 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I think this is not about you, s, is it? You are still young at heart…and you missed some nombers, but, hey, look who’s talking…MOL 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Binky 🙂
      Possibly a little bit is me ! But as you say, I am still young at heart.
      I hope you are having a lovely Sunday watching the birds.
      Ralph xox ❤

      Like

    • Hello Magick Mermaid 🙂
      Spot-on ! You can read me like the book (made out of papyrus 😉 )
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m married to an older man whose cat leaves toilet stones all over the place. But good luck to you – I’m sure this hysterical post will get you a date!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Jan 🙂
      Oh boy ! Not another one who has a cat that trails stones everywhere ! You are probably constantly having to go around after it with a brush. I do, it’s never ending !
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

    • Hello Cheb and Becky 🙂
      Thank you so much for your informative comment my friend. I have not seen that film. Once seen, your idea may be on the cards.
      Happy Sunday. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Ralph, such a clever, humorous post. You are as wise as your years. There is a special woman out there for you who would adore you, your three cats and Coo coo clock. Never give up the search! Happy weekend! 💛 Christine

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Christine 🙂
      Thank you so much for your lovely and uplifting comment. The search goes on !
      I hope you are having a happy weekend too my friend. Mine is okay 🙂
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Adele 🙂
      I am so pleased that you said tongue in cheek and not foot in mouth kind of post. Maybe it is both. lol
      Thank you and I hope you are having a lovely Sunday my friend.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  7. Whenever I come to visit, even if infrequently, I think – surely I am going to find a post informing us all that my friend Ralph is no longer available to blog due to have been whisked off to romantic holiday/honeymoon or some such adventure by a lovely lady that makes him smile just as much as he makes her! And I remain certain that one of these days this is exactly what I will find here! Until then – keep well!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Daniela 🙂
      It’s lovely to see your comments pop-up in my inbox. I know you must be busy so no worries from me.
      Hah ! If I am no longer available due to a romantic holiday, please let me know as I am always the last one to know. lol
      Thank you so much for your fun comment dear friend and I hope that you are well and happy.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. OMC Ya’ll are soooooooooo funny. We should write a posty ’bout our older mommy. Maybe dat’s why we don’t have a daddy, da world’s just doesn’t know how pawsum she is. MOL Big hugs fur all.

    Luv ya’

    Dezi and Raena

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hello Dezi and Raena 🙂
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment guys. How wonderful it must be for you to have a pawsum mommy. You will have to take care of her, won’t you ?
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  9. HAHA! 😺💕💕💕💕 I love your sense of humor! I love humor. Murli does too, since she’s pretty funny herself. The world would be much better place if it had way way more men like you. Pawsome! 😹😂
    I’m fine with being single lol. But I hope that one day I could live together with good likeminded cat loving friends, or a friend.
    Yes that’s right Sonic, Samantha and China cat! You are incredible! Murli agrees too! 💕💕💕💕
    Also, Murlis kitty litter stones go EVERYWHERE as well. Which is why I’m vacuuming everyday lol.
    China cat you are really doing a good job there! Holding the door, so elegantly. Wonder what you would like to do when you’re floor manager?😽💕
    Murli and I wish all of you a lovely evening!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Natascha 🙂
      I am so, so sorry for taking so long in replying. I really don’t know what happened, but with distractions, forgetfulness on my part and answering comments on my notifier only, I hopped over your comment.
      I love your comment. It is brilliant ! Thank you so much my friend for writing such fun words. What can I say as you covered the whole spectrum of the post except thank you so much Natascha.
      I do hope that you and Murli have a lovely weekend. I’m probably will as it is a sunny 30°C.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

    • Hello Hester 🙂
      What a lovely comment from you. Thank you so much.
      Take care. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  10. Hi Ralph! it’s been a while but I thought I’d look you up and I see you are still looking for love…maybe you are going about it the wrong way. If you were looking for an OLDER woman, then you would be the YOUNGER man! 😉
    So happy summer is here! Hope you are keeping well
    Wendy x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello stranger ! Hi Wendy 🙂
      Thank you so much for looking me up and passing on to me your great advice. I am sure it will come in handy one day, if ever 😉
      I agree. It is great to be warm again day and night. My cats are like seaweed as they don’t want to force their way under the bedding all hours of the night lately, so with that I know that summer has started.
      I am pretty much the same, but so happy that I don’t have the stress of going to Ronda hospital any more. I hope that you are all well and happy my friend.
      I have checked your blog and see that you have nothing posted recently. I hope that your art work is coming on leaps and bounds.
      Thanks for visiting Wendy. Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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