I Am So Poor !

Last week I received the annual update of one of my UK pensions.  Great !  An increase ?  No. 😦

The instruction manual which came with the details stated that there will be no change for 2016.

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Oh yes ?

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The Gross Amount will shrink by a whole one penny every four weeks ….

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…. and I will pay an extortionate amount more in UK Income Tax (20 pence).  So the end result is that I am five pence out of pocket every week.

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Oh woe.  What am I to do ?  I am now so poor !

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After much consideration (sorry cats) I am going to have to cut back on cat treats.

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Yep !  Your cat treats will be paying for UK government parties and the expenses of Members Of Parliament.

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No change there then !  Come on, clear the bed, as I need all the space to file the letters and bank statements.

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Come on guys.  It’s not my fault that we are poor.

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Hah !  Prove it !

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I don’t believe you China Cat.

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What about you Sonic ?

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That’s a lot easier than a Hedge Fund, pouncing through the bushes and bringing Daddy back a present Sonic !

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And what did you learn from the Trump University Samantha ?

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Banker ?

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Whew !  You three are at least trying.  Very trying !  So, I will not cut back on your cat treats.

Now, get off the bed and let me sleep work.

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Oh boy !  I must cut back on something.  Any ideas out there ?

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Are you poor as a church mouse, or are you a Donalda Trump ?

If not, I suggest you take the cats’ advice.  China Cat invests in Daddy’s vest, while Sonic sleeps on it and Samantha hides her wares under the sofa.  Be smart.  Become a financial tiger.

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Ralph xox ❤

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160 Comments on “I Am So Poor !

    • What a brilliant idea YC. It’s time they worked for their living. Perhaps not, as my cats are fast asleep in their baskets. Work is not on their CV 😀 Take care my friend. Ralph.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Haha, Ralph. I can relate with the shrinking income as costs expand. Your kitties have all the luck and sleep. And they have you! xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    • I totally agree with you about drinking income (hah, I am using Dragon 12 which is a voice to typing program) I mean, shrinking income as costs expand. For you it must be like buying a bra with only one cup 😉
      Yes, the cats have a wonderful life, I am just an unpaid slave to their every need.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 2 people

    • I know where to find your wares MVBFM. They are under the sofa I bet. Sounds like a bloggers’ cruise to Panama coming on 😀 Have a lovely weekend my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Brilliant Paulette 😀 A great plan indeed ! lol. That was the plan B. Plan A was a plan to increase my pension, but that did not work. Oh well, maybe next year 😀 Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s a very sad, stupid, infuriating, obnoxious, and other assorted expletives (on the govt’s part – not yours) way of treating people!!!! Grrrrr

    Now that I’ve got that out of my system, I like the idea of sending the kittys out to work. Are purrs transferable? 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Wow ! You are a tiger Widdershins. I wouldn’t like to be in the government’s shoes with you on my case. Grrrr indeed !
      Purrs are transferable, but the government would probably put a tax on that as well.
      Have a lovely weekend my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  3. Poor thing, dear Ralph.
    You can teach your cats some nice tricks and take them to the market square to show off their talents. I’m sure people will love you three (sorry ceramic cat, you have to stay home and watch the house) and leave lots of change!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Wow dear Heila. I read your comment in my inbox, but I couldn’t find it in notifications or in this post. After a lot of searching I eventually found it hiding away in my dashboard comments trash. What were you doing lurking in there ? You are up to something 😉 lol.
      Anyway, now to answer your lovely comment my friend. What a great idea, teach my cats new tricks as I am fed up with them laying in my path when I am carrying a tray full of crockery. I am sure that local villagers in the square will love to see that, especially if I fall with my head buried in a cream cake. Brilliant idea Heila.
      I do hope that you have a great weekend planned. Love and hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 2 people

    • Wow, that is a very profound statement Tracy. Reading between the lines I think rich in pocket, rich in spirit is preferable, don’t you think ? That is how everyone should be I reckon.
      Happy Saturday my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

      • I think quite often you find that those who are poor in pocket are naturally richer in spirit – well, not all, I suppose you can be poor and just be a miserable sod, lol! But I kind of think that the more riches you have the less people “tend” (generalising here a bit) to focus on the little things in life. The little joys….that are often quite free. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Lol! Ralph! I enjoyed that!

    I ve been trading in the markets daily for the past 16 years
    and although not doing too bad considering the global woes
    i feel sick to my ears and every Saturday i look forward to a quick giggle
    on your site.
    Ironically today the ‘subject matter of avoidance’ with key words such as ‘China’ ‘Metals’ ‘Futures’ ‘Investing’ etc, is the same as the entertainer.
    Well i can tell, your Cats look like have the potential to do much better
    than many high investment Hedge Fundies and their Bots.
    As for Donald De Ludicrous … no comment … just a deep sigh 😦

    Have a Great Day or rather a Good Night’s Sleep

    Liked by 2 people

    • I am so pleased that you enjoyed this post Sonata. A bit of fun wasn’t it ? That is great to hear that you have been doing okay trading. I have never even tried it or wanted to as it’s a gamble. I totally agree with you that the cats do well in the Hedges and their Bots are another story 😉 lol
      I have never been interested in politics until Trump came along and turned it all on its head. I have my own thoughts about him and I worry about America if he wins.
      Thank you, I had a great day, lovely, sunny and warm, but sleep with my cats is another story. Oh boy.
      Happy Sunday ! Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I am sorry that the Govt is treating you all so paw..ly. I am sure the MPs will be be getting cost of living increases. It’s not good for kitties to live in pawverty. Don’t the Govt know? There must be cats at Downing Street to keep the PM better informed on the cost of living.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I know Gallivanta, the government has treated me awfully, or well on its way to doing so. The loss in my pension is so tiny I just had to make fun of it. There is no way I will let my kitties starve, so I have been told by them, or else !
      I do hope that you are okay my friend and enjoying the weekend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I was going to suggest the possibility of taking your cats to town. Do you know Bob the cat from Britain? Well, you could be the cat man of Spain. People would come from miles around to watch your cats sleep. Who knows, you could get so popular on Youtube that folks would travel from all over the world to see Ralph and his famous cats. Then again, POOR is relevant. In some countries you are very rich! 🙂

    Hugs!!

    ❤ carmen

    Liked by 3 people

    • Heehee. I just love Bob the Cat in this video Carmen. He looks great in his scarf, doesn’t he ? My cats are so different as they love it indoors, but are really scared to put their heads out into the street. They are very happy putting their heads through the balcony rail and watching the world go by three floors down below them.
      I totally agree about poor being relevant. There are so many governments treating their citizens so badly. It would be nice if the wealth of the few be shared with the poverty of the many.
      Happy Sunday my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well then my friend, if Samantha and Sonic prefer indoors (I don’t blame them, they have a loving, cozy home with you) then perhaps you could get famous on Youtube, go viral and make money. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      • You are really nice Carmen. Thank you so much and thank you also for your bright idea my friend. 😀 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Holy Crap. I was once so poor that I stole toilet paper from my employers. That’s my best suggestion – steal toilet paper.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Heck Jan ! I am trying to work this out. As I am a pensioner I must be self employed therefore I would have to steal toilet paper from myself. Good plan Jan ! 😉 lol
      Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh golly – didn’t factor that in. No wonder people don’t ask me for financial advice!

        Liked by 1 person

    • Ha liked this post it was funny! Your cats remind me of my second year at university where I’d spent the whole year smoking dope and acting in plays and had to write about 50 essays in two weeks at the end of the year. My cat insisted on sitting on my lap the entire time I was trying to do the essays and then pooed on them! I adored my cat never got over it when he died and I’m just thinking of getting a new cat now 25 years later!

      Liked by 1 person

      • @ Caroline
        Thank you so much for liking this post. I am so glad that you enjoyed it.
        Such a funny story about your cat when you were in University. So sorry to read that you lost him as they become family. What a great idea in getting a new cat. They are so much fun when awake.
        I do hope that you have a wonderful weekend my friend.
        Big hug Ralph xox ❤

        Like

  8. That’s an idea. Steal toilet paper, that’ll make up the deficit. Then, cut out prunes in your diet, you’ll use less TP, and be even further ahead. ❤

    Liked by 4 people

    • Oh dear Yvonne, not another one suggesting that I steal toilet paper ! Maybe once stolen I could use it as endless printer paper for my computer, or hang a roll as an earring to be used if I have a streaming cold. You learn a lot on my blog. lol
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Watch for the post. I have already forgotten what it is but maybe it was a letter about the cats qualifying for their own pensions. 8)8)

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Oh Gosh… I know what you mean… my mom was so pissed off as she between 600 or 700 dollars are deducted from her salary… new regulations over here too… I don´t have that problem as mine is not a “high” amount so to speak… it is awful…
    anyway… chin up, buttercup 😀 Shine on, always, dear Ralph… all is fine and will be fine. Love. Aquileana 😀

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh no, your poor mum Amalia. How awful. She must be really upset, I would be. My cats want to help her, so I passed my panama hat around and the sum total is a toy mouse and that is it 😉
      Oooh, that’s the first time anyone has called me buttercup. Thank you so much dear friend. Big hug from your flower. Love Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • What a brilliant idea Annika. I told my cats and with no paws for thought, they yawned and fell back to sleep. Definitely government material. LOL. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • I really do think you are right there Beth. My cats have no idea how to work but they are pretty good as pickpockets from my experience. Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  11. If only I was a Donalda..I just don’t know I would want to be married to thon wassock even for the sake of your cats Ralpha. They just have to get out yolking for you. They could try street singing. Or you could just put China there out wi a begging bowl. Great post my friend. Enjoy your poor weekend. x

    Liked by 2 people

    • When your books take off Shey, when you become a Donalda, when you make Scotland great again, when you build a wall to stop those southerners entering Scotland illegally then there will be a lot of singing by my cats, not catcalling, but busking with China Cat holding the begging bowl, singing your praises.
      My poor weekend was lovely thank you Shey. I hope yours was a more richer experience my friend.
      Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I think the cats should work for their treats, This is terrible cutting your pension so drastically. And in downing street they eat cake and get more money. Go to the streets , teach the cats some tricks and fool people into giving you money….

    Liked by 2 people

    • I will show my cats your comment Ute. They are bound to listen to you as they never listen to me, or maybe they are just fooling me as well. LOL. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Get the three cats elected to the european parliament – they can’t do worse than those who are already there – plenty of salary, lots of extra fees and lots of additional tax-free benefits – so you can be their secretary and financial manager – you job, it can easily be done from Malaga… 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • What a fantastically brilliant idea Drake. My cats are Spanish which qualifies them for such a position, instead of being in a curled up position asleep. 😀
      Have a lovely week my friend. Ralph 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  14. It always puzzles me how people keep thinking raising the minimum wage will help anyone. Every time they raise it people on pensions go backward because the price of everything goes up and the pension stays the same. People making wages above minimum lose buying power as there is less difference between their wage and the minimum. And those on the minimum wage whom the raise was supposed to help? The price of everything goes up so they can’t buy any more than they could before – sometimes less. So what does the government do about that? Raise the minimum wage of course.

    Liked by 2 people

    • That was a party political broadcast on behalf of the LB party. LOL. Seriously, I totally agree with you my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  15. I’m poor too, thanks to the government my wages seem to be going down each month while everything else goes up. If I could just won the lottery….actually I might need to do it first lol

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh dear Juls. Not you as well ! I wrote this post with my usual funny slant on a serious issue. Even though I am only 5p out of pocket every week it’s the start of a slippery slope. Brexit is going to hit us expats in Spain hard on many fronts. Oh well, that should make great post in the future 😀 LOL. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  16. Dear Ralph,
    Look at it this way, you’re rich in cats. You could easily get more. OR: You could make a slot in the top of China Cat and make her/him into a piggy bank. Of course in this case it would be Kitty Bank! Then you’d really be building up what’s in your kitty!
    Funny, aren’t I? 😀
    Love,
    Resa
    xoxo #< ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s true dear Resa, I am rich in cats, like you are, but two is enough for me. I don’t know how two cats can make such a mess.
      Oh, you are so funny my friend. Kitty, hahahaha 😀
      I do hope that your weekends don’t drag as you are away from home. Still, it is Monday tomorrow and that is even worse. LOL.
      Big hug and love. Ralph xoxox #< ❤

      Like

  17. Hello poor dear Ralph… Just cat-ching up! We could all take a leaf from Sonic’s book – errr, mouse production. I’m going to place my faith in him. I’ll let you know if the 50 I’ll put on my pillow tonight ‘doubles’ by the morning… I can’t wait… This seems way toooooo easy! 🙂
    xoxoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello dear Carolyn 😀
      Oh no ! Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet especially coming from my blog and Sonic. If your 50 doubles in the morning I will eat my panama hat. LOL.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Sad to learn of cutbacks everywhere Ralph. We can’t seem to escape the trimmings from our overstuffed bureaucratic societies. It’s time to put the kitties to work Ralph. They’ve had an awfully cushy life, lol. 🙂 xoxo ❤
    Hoping you are feeling okay now. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Debby 😀
      So true on both accounts, bureaucracy and cushy cats. One of the same really 😀
      Yes, I am fine and so I hope you and hubby are.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • ❤ Thanks Ralph. We're doing okay, which is great for where we've been. A few blips here and there, but one day at a time. ❤ xo

        Liked by 2 people

    • In the end I just couldn’t cut back on my cats’ treats Christy. Poor things, in more ways than one. LOL.
      Oh, I win the lottery every time you comment my friend.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Don’t worry, poor slave-man, I bring you a snack for that loss of a penny..MOL 😀 S&S and I can catch you a fishy too. See, it isn’t so hard as it seems…and no, I am not Donald nor the poor mousie, I only am rich of ❤ Pawkisses for a rich and happy Day 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • That is very kind of you (been key) Binky. I am actually talking to you using Dragon 12 and it does make mistakes Binky. S&S don’t like (Amish) fish, but prefer shrimps, they love them !
      That is really nice to be rich of ❤ .
      Big hugs to you and Granny. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Awww ! That is really sweet of you Adele. A smile from you is worth a 1000 pennies. I am really rich from your smile my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

    • What a great idea Valentina ! At the moment my cats are on a wildcat strike. Well they have never worked and so must be on a permanent wildcat strike. But they are honest cats and would never steal.
      ” Okay cats, who took my pen ?” 😉
      Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  20. 454 pouds are so less money! Are you looking here for an help for your life? I think people are not so sensible to this kind of personal problems. People now are interesting about vips and sport and gossip. Some time ago I was in a similar situation like yours and nobody helped me. HAve you ever thought to talk about your problem on youtube canal? There are so many idiot videoblogger that talks about stupid things. So you can talk about your problem and your life, your cats, and I think it should be better. Try to pena youtube canal as a diary, that’s my suggest 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ciao Amleta. Grazie mille per commentare e benvenuto nel mio blog.
      Oddio, non devi portarmi sul serio. Sono bene con i miei soldi come io ho altri redditi. La Spagna è il paese abbastanza a buon mercato in cui vivere, tranne per l’energia elettrica. Vivo sola con i miei due gatti e quando succede qualcosa a me blog circa in modo divertente con i miei gatti che vincono sempre. In questo post il governo dice che non c’è nessun cambiamento alla mia pensione, ma prendono un centesimo e più fiscale, che è davvero nulla. Così ho divertimento con esso. Troverete la maggior parte dei miei post hanno un contenuto simile. La ringrazio molto per prendersi cura di me, io non apprezzo.
      Spero che tu abbia una bella settimana. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 2 people

    • ……. și ? Am găsit un comentariu în spam-ul meu WP și acum este gratuit. Va multumim pentru vizita si comentarea Cristina. Duminica fericita ! Ralph xox ❤

      Like

    • So true Wendy, a laugh is a great healer. Thank you for your visit and wonderful comment my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hey – just because you live in sunny Spain (I think) doesn’t mean you can spend all day in the sun – a bit of pressure will bring you back into the real world! haha..

        Liked by 1 person

      • lol. And there was I thinking that frying my brain while sunbathing on the balcony was the real world. Of course it is nothing like the sun drenched, palm swaying, sandy beaches of Manchester, is it ? I am so jealous 😉 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Now I know you’re telling ‘porky pies’ – there are definitely no palm trees in good old Manchester but the sun was shining brightly in my garden today… You know what they say “The sun shines on the righteous!” ….. xox

        Liked by 1 person

      • Heehee. Then we are both righteous *fingers crossed behind my back*

        Glad you had a nice sunny day today Wendy. It must be nice to enjoy your garden when you can.

        Oooh, I’d love a pork pie. I haven’t had one for years !

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha – there are some benefits to living in Manchester then – I can get even fatter eating Pork Pies – LOL – Non Bikini Body here I come!!! … (Think I had my fingers and toes crossed when I suggested I might be ‘righteous’ …… I don’t think many who know me would agree either…. x

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh well, at least the pork pie industry should give you a medal 😀

        Heehee. A great loss to the local nunnery then 😉

        Goodnight my friend, it’s getting late, got to go. xox

        Liked by 1 person

      • I never did quite get my foot through the door of the nunnery (oh hang on – maybe it was my bum that wouldn’t fit through cos of all the pork pies!) Have a great day! x

        Liked by 1 person

      • lol. I am sure that things aren’t that bad Wendy. I was told when I was young that I was thin as a matchstick with the wood scraped off. Oh well ! 😀 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • hahaha – not as bad as they were a couple of months ago now I’ve lost some weight – bit more to go yet though. Maybe there is hope for me to fit through the nunnery door after all!…. x

        Like

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  23. Hi Ralph, I can’t see your pics own this one. WordPress must be having a funny 5 minutes, over and over again. Maybe is the extra five pence being taxing on it!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. You’re starting to worry me Ralph, just when I thought it was about time l dyed my hair green, my beard pink, had my name “Terry” tattooed inside my eyelids so I never forget it and go out and buy that Harley 1200 with the tassels hanging off the handlebars, you go and make me think there is something weird about our family. Ok then, I’ll paint my finger nails black, my toe nails blue and wear big wellie boots wherever I go (except in bed of course, I’ve got the hiking boots for that), that should prove I’m as sane as the next mad cow (Moooo!). Cousins! ‘ood ‘ave ’em!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow ! Hi Terry 😀
      Have you been smoking seaweed off the piles at the end of Ryde pier again. I told you not to. Cousins ! ‘ood ‘ave ’em indeed ! 😉
      I must telephone you and catch up with all the latest family scandal. I am fine, no change except my brains are fried by the heat of the sun and your comment.
      Love to you and Pam. Ralph 😀

      Like

    • I totally agree with you Serach. My two cats, of course not forgetting China Cat, are financial wizards as they carry no money and always have their bowls full of food. lol. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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