How I Was Kidnapped By A Spanish Railway Train

WARNING :  This is a long post !

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Last Monday I pressed Publish and the new post was live.  Time to think about the next post.  All day I drew a blank.  I could think of nothing.

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Sonic ! 

I was just about to shut down my laptop when a thought hit me.

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I really do believe that Great Beings In The Sky read my blog.

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Hah, I wish.  But, they are probably more like this >>>

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They never Follow, Like or Comment as they are too busy adjusting my best made plans for the following day, Tuesday.  Makes a good post Great Beings In The Sky.  Press Like if you can ! 😀

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I climbed aboard the 09:56 train, which arrived at my home station at Cortes de la Frontera at 10:11 ….

….. meaning that I sat on fresh air, five foot above the track for 15 minutes until my seat slid into place beneath me.  (It’s a Great Being In The Sky thing !)

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I settled back …..

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….. for the 45 minute journey to San Roque as I was on my way for another session of acupuncture by Francesca in Gibraltar.

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BTW that’s my foot, not Francesca’s.  She’s not a contortionist. Well, she might be.  I’ll ask her on my next visit.

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Back on the train

I was already standing in the hall by the steps leading to the outside door of Car #3 as the train pulled into San Roque.

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The train stopped and the green button to open the door NEVER lit up.

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There was no open window to call out, no panic button, no intercom and no-one outside to open the door.

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The door NEVER opened. The train started moving.

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I WAS KIDNAPPED BY RENFE !

(Crime committed at San Roque, next picture (1))

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My mind went into overdrive.  Maybe on reaching the last stop, Algeciras, (2) ……

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….. I might be kidnapped a second time that day by heck-slave traders ?

Taken by ferry ……

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…… passing Gibraltar (3) then across the sea to Africa.

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Trek for many weeks under the burning sun through the Sahara Desert.

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 Where I would be sold to Her Royal Hugginess, The Princess Hottee Tottee for one camel, 2 sheep and 3 chickens.

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( Forget the “help !” bit ) 😀

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After a few minutes with me she might exclaim,

“Heck, slave, you are amazing !  I can take no more.  Too much !

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Ooops !  Sorry Sonic.

Heck, slave, you are now a free man. 

Free man, return to Spain with a small parting gift of gold for a ring ….

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….. and this tiny diamond …..

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….. which needs to be cut for your future love to wear on that ring.”

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With a final farewell kiss, she covered her face to hide a tear …..

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….. and ……

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“Algeciras !  We hope you had a pleasant journey and hope you travel with us again.”

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It wasn’t the Tannoy that woke me from my imaginary adventure, it was the cries of the other passengers,

“Heeelp !  We are locked in !”

The driver, on hearing the shouts,  manually opened the door with a “Renfe whatsit gizmo #5” tool.

The guard generously offered me a free return ride on the next train to San Roque, which I declined as it would make me seriously late for my appointment.  Probably a day late !

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So, I rushed through the station concourse.

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Avoiding the heck-slave traders, I dived into a taxi (2) and off we sped for the Frontier (3). Hurtling past San Roque (1) …..

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….. finally screeching to a halt at the Spain/Gibraltar border.  Whew !

I arrived for my appointment 15 minutes late and an extra €9 out of pocket.

You owe me big time Renfe !

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The clinic is above a tattooist.  I hate the idea of having a tattoo.  Anyway, I have a heart shaped freckle on my thigh.  Wanna see ?

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PS.  Francesca is kind, caring and lovely.  The acupuncture was painless and I returned home safely. 

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Do your plans get adjusted by Great Beings In The Sky ?

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Ralph xox ❤

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Some of these pictures were found on a Google search and are not mine.  The rest with dates (fed to me one at a time by the Princess Hottee Tottee) ARE mine.

99 Comments on “How I Was Kidnapped By A Spanish Railway Train

  1. You don’t sound any worse for wear from your adventures with Princess Hottee, so moving on.
    How sexy is that freckle!! I’ll be dreaming about that now..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, it is a lovely ride, especially through the gorges and the train is quite comfortable YC. The door working would have helped with the enjoyment though 😀 lol. Ralph

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I love your freckle! I have constellations of freckles that I like and many tattoos that are as much a part of me as if I’d been born with them (a small oversight on the part of my parents). 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Someone surely does like to mess with me Katie ! I know you do 😀 lol
      No, you didn’t tell me that. If I’d known I would have caught the 09:56 donkey 😉 Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Yay ! That’s great Kally ! Oh dear, do I have to build an airport here for my next post ? 😉 Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • A good plan Kally. I need a volunteer for the first mission impossible. Up for it ? This comment will self-destruct in five seconds 😀 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  3. One heck of a train ride there, Ralph. Admit it. Was it not fun? On second thought, probably not. Yvonne xx

    PS: The xx’s are for the cats. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • It was fun to write about the train ride, but experiencing it was a bit unusual to say the least.
      S&S send you xx back Yvonne. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey , Ralph, it sounds like you had quite the adventure. Hope those pin sticks are doing their job.
    Leslie

    Liked by 2 people

    • Quite an adventure indeed Leslie. I wouldn’t like to repeat it though.
      The pin sticks have made an improvement. My hands are so much better,but there is a long way to go yet.
      Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Lara. Welcome to my bit of WP madness 😀 I’m so pleased that you had fun reading this post my new friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  5. I had a nightmare last night that is similar in construct to your post. Truly amazing how we click together. I had a roll on the floor reading this and why do you want to escape Princess Hottee Tottee? She’s a sensation. x

    Liked by 2 people

    • Clicking is good Sab….. maybe I should call you Cookie 😉 I do hope the roll on the floor wasn’t buttered and I didn’t want to escape from my imaginary Princess *sigh* Oh well, back to our nightmare. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh no, now I will be worried next time I am on the train! Going the other way we could end up in Madrid! (Actually, that would be ok, nice shops… 😉 )

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Wendy. The west door on that car opened for Cortes, Gaucin and Jimena, but the east door didn’t open for San Roque and Algeciras. Hopefully it never happens again unless you are going shopping 😉 Have a lovely day. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • I thought so. Those Great Beings In The Sky need to work on you big time Yvonne 😉 lol
      I’m fine. The more pins that go in, the more I become a hedgehog 😉
      Have a great week my friend.
      Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  7. Well, after all that, I hope the acupuncture is having a good effect. The main thing is, did you get home in time to feed the cats?
    Are they getting the right food? Are they getting enough? They might be looking a tad thinnish?
    J & J say “solidarity” to S & S!
    And from me, much love, as always! To YOU, not the cats!!! LOL!
    BTW leggings post after midnight!
    xoxoxo ❤ <# …. r is it #<

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well after all that the acupuncture is working well dear friend. When I have a drink I leak like a watering can rose. Otherwise I am better thank you Resa …. Ralph …. Resa 😀
      I feed them as soon as the sun sets and they really tell me off if I am late. Yes to all except maybe the thinnish bit 😀
      .

      .
      Lots of love back to you
      *tapping fingers on desk* It’s way past midnight here in Spain and not a glimpse of any leggings. Or do I have to wait (impatiently) until 7am ? I won’t sleep !
      Love & hugs. Ralph xoxox ❤ #< (it is :D)

      Liked by 1 person

      • Uch… On my blog clock it is only 10:40.
        Sleep, my legs will be there in the am!
        LOL You are so sweet! xoxoxoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      • Okay. I’ll sleep. Hah, I forgot that the cats wake up then and create havoc on my bed when I’m trying to get off to sleep. xoxox ❤ #<

        Like

  8. Lol, thanks for the train ride Ralph. And ooh la la, a heart shaped mole. Certainly that should mean you are destined for some grand love! xo 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re welcome Debby. Mind the doors !
      Ah, grand love, or is it great, great, grandmother love ? lol 😀 Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: My Article Read (9-21-2015) | My Daily Musing

  10. I am sure that if you’re not careful so you will be kidnapped by a female desert sheik and led to a heinous delicious desert oasis – where she will hold you trapped in her large family tent with air conditioning, fresh fruit and cool wine – it all could start innocently with a train door lock was manipulated – take care… 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s quite a story Drake. I love the idea of the air conditioned tent….. well, all of the story really. Ralph 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Just imagine what wonderful things could have happened, All these hot women in the desert… desperate for some…….. water.. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heehee. I’ll order a 6 pack of 1ltr water bottles in case it really happens. That’ll be the day ! Mind you, you don’t have “water” problem in the UK 😉 lol Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Diahann. Getting off the train was interesting as well 😀 lol. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

    • Thank you Mary. Sometimes a predictable train ride is quite handy to get to an appointment on time, but this is Spain and has a “no problem” attitude. So my acupuncturist wasn’t worried that I was late as I emailed her to say I was leaving home and on my way just before I said bye to the cats 😀 Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Dear friend Ralph,

    What an adventure you had! Perhaps you should have gone for a massage to relax instead of having needles stuck into you.

    I am glad you made it home safe and sound!

    Your pal,
    Nancy

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello dear Nancy. Oh I wish ! A massage would be lovely. Mind you my cats love to lie on me, dig and purr for 10 minutes, which I don’t think counts 😀 Home safe and sound is great, isn’t it ? Take care my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, the door did malfunction followed closely by a Ralph malfunction 😀 Stay confused Lucie. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well, of course! It’s the only way to be! (Confused and living in “my bubble”, that is!!) You take care, too, kiddo! ❤ Lucie

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hah ! Female heaven ? I think they were all Chinese tourists locked in with me. I like mandarins 😉 Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Ralph, have I ever said “You may need professional help”? Also, why are the Spanish, stealing British rail? Lol 😀 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Hahaha ……………in this way you see a lot of things but I’m displeased for your retard because it wasn’t your fault ! Hoping the next time they will let you out ………. kidnapping is against the law they know ???

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Serach. Such a great comment from you as usual my friend. I hope you are having a lovely evening and please be careful of being kidnapped by your local transport 😉 Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Awww… You have a heart-shaped birthmark. ❤

    That was quite an adventure!

    xx Saludos y Abrazos xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yay ! A heart shaped freckle ! Must mean something ! Love your new rose RoSy 😀 Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Well, Ralph, you certainly do have all the fun! I’m beginning to think that Sonic and Samantha ought to keep you locked indoors. Still, I enjoyed your imaginary ride into Africa. Surely you’re worth more than a camel, two sheep and three chickens? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Milly 😀 I certainly did had fun on the train this day. I am so glad my being locked in never happened again. Ha ! My cats are always playing with my keys, perhaps they will lock me in. Have a lovely new week my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Hi Ralph. 🙂 Thanks for liking “Fountain.” I enjoyed reading your post, although I sympathize with your frustration about being late to an appointment because of circumstances out of your control. I think the Great Beings in the Sky visited me after they visited you. My dad had a doctor appointment on Thursday. We arrived at the hospital about half an hour early but ended up five minutes late because a woman backed into my car while I was dropping my dad off in front of the hospital building. Luckily my dad and I were both out of the car at the time, and there was not a lot of damage. At least we did not get charged a fee for being late.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Arlene 😀 Firstly, I am sorry that I haven’t answered your email as I could nothing or very little on my laptop for weeks. My mind went blank !
      I am so glad that you didn’t have too much damage to your car. How annoying ! Do they really charge you for being late ? Whew !
      Have a lovely Sunday evening. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • I was wondering what happened to you, Ralph. I am glad that you are okay now. 🙂 I need a break too! I have been too busy doing too many things for the past few weeks, and now I think that I need to slow down before I get sick.

        Yes, that minor car accident in the parking lot was a distraction that I did not need. No, the hospital does not charge a fee for being late. I thought you got charged extra for being late, and I was writing with that in mind. I reread your post, and now I understand that you had to pay extra for the taxi. 🙂

        I hope you have a wonderful Sunday evening too. Take care, my friend. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Please do slow down Arlene. Overdoing it helps no-one especially yourself.
        Thank heavens you don’t have to pay for being late.
        Thank you and take care yourself my friend 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • You are right, Ralph. I would like to simplify my life more, but it is not easy for me to do.

        Yes, I am glad too. 🙂 There are enough late fees in this world already.

        You are welcome, and thanks for your concern. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • Purr-fect comment my friend ! Have a lovely week Catherine. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  18. I should tat my back. I don’t know how many of my lovely spots have interesting shapes like yours, though. Kalev has a heart on her sleeve, and a question mark on her chest, but she was never kidnapped by anyone but me. Glad you’re ok. Love the train, though. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heehee. I know Kalev loves her mom. Have a lovely Thanksgiving my friendly MVBFM. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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