For Sale …… Me !

It’s said that if you are single, you would end up old, sad and have two cats.

Heck !  I am single, old, sad and have two cats.  I need to be unsingled !

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That’s a great suggestion.  I’ll get dolled up and go out now.

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Well, that was an hour wasted.

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Here is some of the local talent I met in this Spanish mountain village of mine.

~ Comparing hairdos ~

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~ OOTD ~

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~ A more slinkier OOTD ~

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Baaad idea !

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That’s me banished to the wastelands of Facebook then.

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That’s a better idea Samantha.  Sell myself !

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~ For Sale ~

A genuine Ralph antique thingy.

Two careful lady owners and about five manic ones

Chassis in good condition

Bodywork needs handling carefully.  No waxing !

Smokes due to a rusty piston

On display in a lovely apartment

Speaks English & Spanish.  (His English is understandable whereas his Spanish sounds more like a Klingon with a cold)

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So.  Make your bid.  >>>>

1. No thanks.  I’ve already got a rusty antique thingy.

2. Nah !  I would rather have (and crash) the latest sports model with va-va-voom.

3. I’m offering less than one euro.  Deal with it !

4. I’m desperate.  I’ll halve that offer.

5. A little more than one euro, but just for the apartment.

6. One MILLION euros !  It’s a charitable tax deductible gift made out of pity and rice paper.

7. Other, or a bit of the other

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I give up.  Maybe I should take up blogging.  Can’t be that hard !

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How would you sell yourself ?

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Ralph xox ❤

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The sheep are from a Google Search and are not mine.  I did not chat them up and I did not have kids …… oh, that’s the goats.  Another story ! 😉

 

122 Comments on “For Sale …… Me !

  1. LOL! Aww, Ralph! Your sweet soul will sell itself ❤ As for me, I would be horrible at selling myself, so I don't even try! xoxo

    Liked by 3 people

    • Wow ! Thanks Serena 😀
      I’m sure that you have no need to sell yourself my friend. Your beauty and writing talent will do it for you.
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • *Smiles*…aww, see? You are a total and complete sweetheart! ❤ Thank you! Big, big hugs! xx

        Liked by 1 person

    • You are probably right Diana. They don’t say it, but I think they want another lap to lay on. Gives them a multiple choice 😉 Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hmm, perhaps being single has less set of problems 🙂 One person has one set of problems why need 2x the problems 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • I think you may have hit the nail on the head YC. I have 2x problems already ….. cats ! 😀 lol
      Take care my friend. Ralph 😀

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Ralph, your humor has no end! Thank goodness Sonic & Samantha are not good sales-cats, they’d be lost with out you. The answer to the question on this end, I’m an old antique wreck, so no for sale sign here! Hope you have a wonder-filled week! Chryssa (aka Christine)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Chryssa !
      I would miss my cats too if they made me a freed slave 😀
      I doubt if you are an old antique wreck my friend.
      May you have a lovely week as well.
      Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t think that Sonic and Samantha would take well to having to share your affections, so you’d better get used to the idea of blogging. I’m sure you’d enjoy it immensely. 😀 ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Sylvia 😀 My cats are beginning to accept other humans now instead of hiding under the sheets when I have visitors. So they may have to get used to sharing if a miracle happens.
      Is blogging easy then ? 😉
      Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Yvonne 😀 I am so pleased that you enjoyed the post. I’m fine thank you my friend as I hope you are. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Don’t sell yourself short Ralph! Those kitties have you right where they want you- for themselves!!😂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Have heard being single give 3 main goodies – you don’t have to wait endless time outside the bath room, shopping takes only a quarter of time and you have no mother in law… 😀 😀 😀

    Liked by 3 people

    • OMG ! Are those 3 things true ? Know any good monasteries with butler and maid service Drake ? 😉 Ralph 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      • Who say you can’t hire a female butler and if she have a driving license it would be perfect – but don’t place posters in monasteries, you risk the abbess put ticket on the job… 😀

        Liked by 2 people

  7. You could always try and sell the cats…. if you are desperate hehe, and you come as their pet with them as an added bonus … because they need you and your lap. ( the sheep in the high heels is quite attractive 😉 … )

    Liked by 2 people

    • What a great idea Ute, I being thrown in with the cat litter tray I suppose 😉 lol
      Do I sense “sheep in high heels” jealousy ? 😉
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  8. Ralph, had you thought about; Ebay, or Etsy, maybe even; Gumtree, not forgetting Craig’s List. I’m sure we could get a few pennies for you….lol 😀 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Great ideas Julie ! I thought about a yard sale, garage sale or boot sale, but living in an apartment 3 floors up I don’t think they’ll work somehow.
      Sorry I haven’t answered this quickly, but I spent all yesterday on the Costa del Sol, not sunbathing, but droll things like the bank, lawyer and cafes 😀 Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. As always you are so funny dear Ralph 🙂 I love your conversation with your clever cats 🙂 But I don’t think that they woud like to share you with anyone!!!!! Sheep made me laugh… I am sure you are not looking for in the right place, right time 🙂 My best wishes, have a nice new week, Thank you, love, nia

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello dear Nia 😀 Thank you so much for your wonderful comment covering the whole post. Magic !
      Have a lovely week yourself my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • That’s really sweet of you Mina. Thank you and kisses back to you. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  10. I remember being single. I rather liked it. 😉 Any single woman would have to be nuts not to pay millions for a sweetheart like you. I’m sure the right one for you is out there somewhere–maybe she’s too shy to come out from under the bed. 😀 Love you, Ralphie, and sending mega HUGS your way. Hope you have a fantabulous week, my friend. ❤ ❤

    Liked by 4 people

    • Hi Elizabeth. Most of the time I like being single, but there are many times when I yearn, yes yearn, for female company (not sheep). I checked for that shy millionairess under my bed. Nope ! Just cat toys 😦
      Love you back with mega-hugs. Ralph xoxox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Maybe you should announce an auction on the train. Captive audience with mysterious strangers. 8). But then, I’m horrible at sales and marketing.

    Liked by 3 people

    • What a brilliant idea dear friend. I am going to Gibraltar by train tomorrow. I can just imagine what the Spanish on the train will make of that mad Englishman who they don’t understand 😉 lol Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Hi Ralph, you must be feeling better if you missing some company. That’s a positive.
    It must be pretty nice there in the winter. I would put an add in your home town paper in Endland and offer a one week “get away” from winter to senior women ( no strings attached). I wouldn’t make it free because people don’t appreciate something if you just give it away. Just charge enough to cover the food and one or two meals out. Give her your room and you sleep on the couch. That way you would have the opportunity to meet and get to know someone and if it works out – that would be great. If it doesn’t work out – it would only be for a week. You might have some interesting guests and just might meet someone special.
    Leslie

    Liked by 2 people

  13. This sounds entirely like me trying to look at dating again, which I am not planning on doing…but I think offering myself up for sale (NOT THAT WAY) may work…until I have to start marking myself down to clearance prices 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yep ! I am with you all the way with your comment Not. Maybe we should advertise ourselves as “buy none get one free”. That might work 😉 Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  14. Hm….where to begin??? Should I start with my voluptuous Buddha belly and work UP or my fat butt and work DOWN?! Thank God I don’t hafta do either and am already SOLD! 🙂 Love your humor, Ralph. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nice to read that you are emphasising your good points Lucie and that you are SOLD which is great. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Cute! Ha ha. And to answer your question, actually, I’d join an organization with like-minded folks to meet someone who shared my interests. That way you could at least meet someone you have something in common with.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Great idea Georgia. Umm….interests ? Blogging, cats and sleeping. Know anyone ? 😉 Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  16. Well, I could just go outside of my home & stand on the street. I’d be bought up quite quickly, but then I live in a major metropolitan city.
    I would suggest you move to a big city to market yourself, but I’m worried you would be arrested for having 2 cats. We have very strict cat licensing laws in Toronto.
    Ralph, you are adorable! Much love, Resa xoxo ❤ <#

    Liked by 2 people

    • lol. I think your latest leggy post would make you a fortune in Metropolitanania dear friend 😀 😀
      Oh no ! I’ll let you arrest me as you’ve found me out 😉
      Lots of love back. Ralph xoxox ❤ #<

      Like

  17. I know what you mean about being an ‘antique thingy’, Ralph. It comes to us all, I’m afraid. The idea is to ‘think young’ -which I’m sure you do! How else would you come up with pics of sheep in pink shoes? LOL Perhaps online dating’s the way you should go – depending on how brave you are! If it were me, I’d chicken out at that one. I’m so glad Sonic and Samantha have your best interests at heart. Love to you all out there in lovely Andalusia. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • No, no, no, no. No more online dating for me after a 41 year old Texan gal turned out to be a huge hairy Nigerian thief. I hope Karma is paying him back big time !
      Yes. I think the cats do look after me.
      Have a lovely week Millie. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Soon very funny!! You always make me laugh Ralph. You are a superstar. I couldn’t help but try to see what was on the TV screen in some of the photos. I always end up looking at the wrong thing, or interpreting it differently.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hi Sandra. Thank you so much !
      The programmes are on Sky. The old satellite still shows a few channels, but all the major ones have gone over to the new satellite which we can’t get in Southern Spain.
      The 2 programmes that were on in these photos were >>>

      Neighbours at War (New Zealand)
      Relic Hunter (Canada)

      Have a great week my friend. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Pingback: My Article Read (8-24-2015) | My Daily Musing

  20. Ralph, you must play hard to get! Sing after me: “Ladies they try to tempt me, but the minute their wallet’s empty, I skedaddle, single saddle, With a hippity hop, I hop atop my single saddle …”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heehee. I can do the “clippity clop, clippity clop” bit. Great song. Love it 😀 Ralph xox ❤

      Like

    • Heehee. That is quite a thought LB. I think it may stay that way. How could I finish a post with another 14 cats planning my downfall ? lol Ralph xox ❤

      Like

    • Hi Indah 😀 Heehee. Love your comment my friend. I have never entered e-bay before, but there is always a first time 😀 Ralph xox ❤

      Like

    • Hi Preethi 😀 What a fabulous comment ! You have made my evening ! Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  21. Don’t sell yourself short Ralph. You’re a wonderful person, your cats love you, and so do all your friends here and there. When the timing is right, you’ll meet someone. Don’t MAKE it happen, LET it happen. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your comment is so sweet Debby. Thank you so much 😀 Ralph xox ❤

      TO LET …… apply within 😉 lol

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Cleverly written (as usual), Ralph. I always enjoy the photos you include with your pieces.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Krys for your lovely comment. I am so pleased that you enjoyed this post. 😀 Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  23. OMG – it has come to that now! I remain puzzled what is with ladies (two-legged ones that is -:)) over in Spain that they continue to live oblivious to the fact that a great British Gentleman is not only in their midst but available too … wonders never cease! Must be something to do with uninspiring euro!

    Take Care -:)!
    Daniela

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know ! It’s not fair ! The only women that take any interest are married. No go zones 😉
      Have a lovely new week dear Daniela. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Wow ! Thank you so much for your kind words Alana. Loved them 😀
      May I send you kisses as well. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Perhaps you could play the Master Card selling technique. Sonic $100, Samantha $100, Ralph priceless. People are always tempted by what they really can’t afford. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • You do come up with some brilliant ideas Gallivanta and this is one of the best 😀 Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Dear friend Ralph,

    How can you put a price on your wonderfulness? You are priceless, which makes it difficult to sell. 🙂

    Your pal,
    Nancy

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Hi Ralph,
    You could get a dog. We love dogs!f You could get a third cat. Just some suggestions to break the prophecy!
    Nice to see you.
    Janice
    PS Congratulations on having an engaged community.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Janice and hello 😀
      Nooooo ! Two cats are more than enough. I might be able to squeeze…..in a woman though 🙄
      It’s lovely to meet you too and thank you so much for commenting.
      That’s what I enjoy; the comments and friends built up over the years.
      Have a lovely Sunday my new friend.
      Ralph xox ❤

      Like

    • Heehee. Glad you had a laugh dear friend. I hope you are having a lovely week. I am, especially while reading your comment RoSy. Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • So far – so good. One day at a time as I adjust to life without my son home. We dropped him off at the university last week. He started classes yesterday.
        Boy – time flies!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I expect you’ll miss him. Time does fly. The kids downstairs finish their (almost) three month summer holiday on Thursday.

        Liked by 1 person

  27. You’ve very nasty cats Ralph and I would never put you on sell because you’re one of the most funny friendly man I know so how could I ? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nah ! I may even offer to pay them to take me 😉 Have a lovely weekend Liz. Ralph xox ❤

      Like

  28. Very good! Is the product “Ralph” available on the high street, Amazingzon, Etsy or eBay.
    If Amazingzon is he available on Prime for next day delivery? Is he dispatched by drone? Finally if I am not entirely satisfied I assume there is a cooling off period for distance selling and the possibility of a full refund?
    Your post has made me smile… TTS x

    Liked by 1 person

    • The product is second hand (or more), acts like a drone and no refund as I’ll pay you to take it away 😉 lol. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • For 2nd hand maybe you should try eBay. If you set the starting bid at 99p (in €) and offered free P&P you could be selling at a loss, but beware they are supposed to have improved the protection for buyers… But Etsy is pretty good for a unique one off item xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow ! You are an expert in selling online TTS. I have only ever bought things 😀

        Like

  29. I think; Sonic’s just put you up on Gumtree, although, it could’ve been Samantha, I’m not too sure who’s paw print signature, it is. I’d watch those two, though, because; they’ve suggested “Man, free-to-a-good-home”, right underneath an ad, specifying; Cat-feeder-wanted, human-deserted-us…Suspicious, or what? xox 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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