Ralph’s Medical Twilight Zone

For the last couple of weeks I have been a nervous wreck waiting to be given the dreaded aggressive drip with the possible side effect of turning me into an Aggressive Drip !

It never happened !

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Last Thursday I entered the medical twilight zone.

(Play Twilight Zone Intro)

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I waited an hour in the chair.

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Ronda hospital
'tis me !
’tis me !

An hour of just wasting time thinking about things.

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Suddenly out of nowhere !

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I sat INTIMIDATED listening intently to the change in plans.

My Neurologist was going to get it right ……

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…..by sending me though a battery of tests that morning before being aggressive with me another day in the future, hopefully to cure my CIDP Lewis Sumner with Rituximab.

OMG ! “,  I thought.

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She explained what was going to happen to me and with a swirl of her white coat ……

My Neurologist
My Neurologist

…. disappeared back into her twilight zone world of Ronda hospital, Spain.

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  Then I waited !

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Suddenly out of nowhere !

A nurse appeared, tore open my shirt and rammed a thermometer up my armpit !

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I was so pleased that it was nowhere else !

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Then I waited.

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Suddenly out of nowhere !

The same nurse appeared, dragged me out of the chair and across the room to a weighing scales / height measure combo.

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I didn’t realise how tiny she was until she couldn’t reach the slider on the height measure.

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She found a step …….

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…… stood on it, but still couldn’t reach the slider until another nurse arrived and lifted her up.

I sat back in my chair ……. exhausted with laughter !

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Then I waited !

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Suddenly out of nowhere !

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A nurse pushing a wheelchair crashed in through the double swing doors my Neurologist went out through. The wheelchair skidded to a halt. I was dumped into the seat. The now Ferrari  swung around and sped off, crashing back out through the swing doors ……..

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………. coming to a screeching halt by the lift.

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There we waited !

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Suddenly out of nowhere !

Another doctor appeared by the lift carrying a syringe ! ……..

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…… and in the bustling corridor she rolled up my sleeve, pumped in some liquid just under the skin and drew yellow lines around the little bulge.

( NOT THAT LITTLE BULGE !   IN MY ARM !   DUH ! )

She explained that on Sunday I was to go to Emergency, near my local village, in Cortes de la Frontera. If that point on my arm turned red I was to come straight back to Ronda hospital Monday morning. If no reaction, then the doctor in Emergency will write a report on my computer file.

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The nurse then proceeded on her mission to frighten the living daylights out of me.

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Speeding down corridors, a two wheel turn through the open doors of the Xray dept.

I almost had whiplash when she braked !

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I hadn’t a clue what was going on !

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All these experiences were making me batty !

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Within seconds the Xray technicians took front and side photos of my chest.

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I reckon this photo of me came out well !

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Then I waited !

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Suddenly out of nowhere !

The nurse returned with the wheelchair ……

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….. scooped me up and raced back to my drip chair scattering aside patients, doctors and nurses along the corridors.

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Then I waited !

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Suddenly out of nowhere !

Another nurse appeared laden with syringe, tubes, bandages and proceeded to extract an armful of blood from me !

Then I waited !

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I sat for an hour in the drip chair just thinking about things.

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Suddenly out of nowhere !

A nurse appeared, gave me a copy of the report of what happened that morning and I was free to go.

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Ralph’s medical twilight zone was over.

FOR THAT DAY !

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Seriously, everyone was so brilliant, fast and professional, especially Angela, my Neurologist, who organised the tests. Thank you 😀

I was so pleased to be back home where I found my cats wrapped around the heater as they have been doing for the last couple of weeks.

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72 hours later ! Sunday morning ! Emergency in Cortes de la Frontera !

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Yep ! The red mark is positive ! 

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So back to Ronda hospital this morning !

Back to Ralph’s Medical Twilight Zone. Oh boy !

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 So, how does your Twilight Zone go ?

(On reading some of your posts, any Twilight Zone is normal for you 😉 )

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Ralph xox ❤

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(Some of the photos in this post are mine. The rest were found on Google Search and are not mine)

155 Comments on “Ralph’s Medical Twilight Zone

  1. This is the first post I’ve read of yours, so I’m looking forward to finding out if you’re always this funny. I especially enjoyed the photo of the women in wheelchairs in the ocean and the references to strong women.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi JoAnne 😀
      Thanks for visiting my blog. I will visit yours when I am able. I try to be funny. Things always seem to get weird and unusual with me here in Spain. So I have to laugh about them.
      Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You are so funny, I love your posts. I have been in the medical field for almost 30 years and I really think my cancer patients would love to read this. I am definitely going to spread the world about your blog 🙂 I hope you are doing better!
    Love and hugs~ Mary Michelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Mary Michelle. It was a fun post and I am glad you commented here as I had almost forgotten it. I am sure your patients will enjoy a laugh and lift their spirits a bit.
      I do hope you are having a lovely weekend.
      Love & hugs back. Ralph xox ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Kim. I am glad you enjoyed this post. You deserve a medal for scrolling down so many comments to make yours. I haven’t got any medals, but will a virtual hug do ? (((hug))) Ralph xox ❤

      Like

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