Notification Darling ?

The other evening, here in Spain, I was in a catatonic state relaxed in my round chair with one cat on my lap and the other draped alongside me.

t1

Then my home phone rang.

t30

Cats flew everywhere as I got up to answer it.

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“Hello darling !”

Heck ! Beautiful English ! She was hot ! The line was burning ! My ear was burning !

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Only two words she uttered. My mind went into overdrive for a split second.

t37

Who is she ?

t11

t37

Perhaps it’s my Spanish Neurologist ?

t6

Nah ! Her English doesn’t sound that sexy !

t37

A model maybe ?

t5

I very much doubt it !

t37

This is probably who it is !

t8

t37

I had better say something !

“Umm ! *splutter* errrr ! ……..

Shoot ! I am making a right mess of this !

t36

t27

……. Who am I talking to ?” I cringed !

t37

Oh ! That sexy voice againΒ  !

“What’s your number ?”

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Yippee ! She wants my number !

t37

Another split second thought sped through my mind.

I wonder where she is ?

t35

t29

t18

t17

t9

t37

“951168107” I blustered !

t37

There was a slight pause.

“Sorry !Β  I’ve got the wrong number !”

AND SHE HUNG UP !

t34

t37

I was in shock !

t16

t37

While she was most likely telling everyone about how she called Ralphie “darling”……

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…… I clicked the button

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I know I am going to live the rest of my life alone with my 2 cats !

THE END

t37

And now for something completely different !

~Β Fed up with the new Notifier ? ~

Well, I am !

t2

It’s so blooming complicated and I never know who I’ve replied to and have to search through to find where I last replied 😦

Never fear ! Ralphie’s here !

You can access your old Notifier “View Archives” by clicking >>>

here

The Notifications page comes up, bookmark it and place the bookmark on your Bookmark Toolbar.

(I use a laptop with Windows 7 and a Firefox browser)

Yay ! The reply arrow is back !

t3

So now when you see the orange notifier light up ……

t3a

….. click Notifications on your Bookmark Toolbar.

Easy !

t37

To close this post, here are some older ladies who have some love advice for us men.

Β 

That’s put me in my place !

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Β Do you need notifying darling ?

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Ralph xox ❀

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The chair & notification images are mine. The rest were found on Google Search and are not mine !

149 Comments on “Notification Darling ?

    • Hi Mihran πŸ˜€ Maybe this will help ! Thanks for commenting. Ralph πŸ˜€
      .

      .

      Like

  1. My friend, there are no right or wrong numbers! She was too shy to continue! Please press 3, 5 and 7 three times each.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi JF πŸ˜€
      Was she too shy ? Maybe she’ll call back ! Is that 333,555,777 or 357,357,357. I tried both and got sold insurance :/
      Ralph πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You my friend have just made my day!!! Absolutely excellent : )

    Liked by 1 person

  3. LoL on the burnt out telephone post … I know some of the pictures are from Google but your captions are genuine Ralph’s πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi YC πŸ˜€ I love that Google Search picture as well ! The telephone call really happened Thursday evening as I was thinking of something to put into today’s post and voila the phone call ! A gift ! Ralph πŸ˜€

      Like

    • Hello HT πŸ˜€
      The older ladies are great sports to act out that song. I loved it and it had to come on this post. Have fun with it !
      Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I almost peed my pants over these CRAZY images!! Wildly humorous!
    I am with you on the WP Notifier (and waaaayyyyy too many other) changes!! I don’t need a learning curve with each and every login…wish they’d slow down the incessant upgrading…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Karen πŸ˜€
      Whew ! An almost ! No need to sue me then πŸ˜‰
      I thought WP changing the widgets was bad, but this new notifier is the worst change yet, especially for me, as I answer every comment and wasted so much time trying to find where I left off. Goodness knows what the WP monkeys will dream up next.
      Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. it was lovely as long as it lasted, ralph. savor every moment ) and as for the notifications thingie, i am the worst tech person on the planet and am always confused. this just took me to another level of confusion! )

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Beth πŸ˜€
      11 little words gone forever. May I weep on your shoulder ? πŸ˜‰
      I feel so privileged and honoured that I have added to your confusion. If you need more confusion call me …… or did you a few evenings ago ? :/
      Confused hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hi Jolene πŸ˜€
      I am so glad that you enjoyed those images. I love finding them.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  6. What can I say, Ralph! Another creative, put-together post & photos! Just finding the photos must take hours. Your text is pure Ralph genius though! =)) Christine

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Christine πŸ˜€
      This lovely comment of yours must have just arrived a few moments after I shut down for the night. Sorry I missed it meaning you have had to wait for my reply. Thank you so much for your lovely words.
      Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I confess, my bashful nature prevented me from revealing that it was I who was dialling random numbers that evening, and one of them happened to be yours. We are destined to be phone calls that pass in the night, it seems. Life can be so cruel. 😦

    Oh well, I’ll keep dialling numbers. oxo ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Yvonne πŸ˜€
      I am so pleased to know that it was you (or Marsha) that dragged me out of my chair, got me excited and left me all alone again. I miss your voice. Enjoy your phone bill :/
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hello Viv πŸ˜€
      Wow ! I had to look back at the print/scan image and there you both are ! Pure chance that you were heading the image. What fun !
      Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  8. Thanks Ralphie. I hate that new notification. I was afraid you’d recognize my voice if I said anything else! Love you MFR. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Marsha MVBF πŸ˜€
      I am so glad that I could help. A WP Happiness (?) Engineer passed on the link to the old notifications page as I (and others) were fed up with the new notifier.
      You and Yvonne must get your stories straight as you both admit to making the call. I don’t think it was either of you. Hilary Clinton perhaps πŸ˜‰
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Thanks for this link Ralph, I am not happy with the new one either but couldn’t find the archive anymore. I bookmarked it too now. Thanks so much. Love the rest of the post too, you always find amazing and such funny things! πŸ™‚ xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Ute πŸ˜€
      I am so pleased that I could help you with the notifier and thank you for your lovely words about the post. Mind you I was expecting you to say, “GET OUT OF MY CHAIR !” heehee πŸ˜€
      Big hug. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Abso I do. And you know my pc so disagreed it shut down your webpage to stop me saying so. But there I got back here Hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Shey πŸ˜€
      Your PC shut me down ? Maybe I am barred in Scotland (and England, and….) :/
      But you prevailed my friend and came to me πŸ˜€
      Hugs back. Ralph xox ❀ ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Well, well, well – – it’s after 1 in the morning and I needed some REAL entertainment and you always come thru. You synchronize words and pictures better than Fred and Ginger and throw in that added bonus of pure comedy. Plus the practical advice is going straight to use. Although, (with one of your screen shot examples) now all your followers will see my comment and say, “well if it isn’t the woman who hates hugging.” Perfect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Stephanie πŸ˜€
      Well, well, well (three holes in the ground ?)
      Cor ! You do know how to butter a man up ! Maybe I’ll take up synchronised swimming on my own πŸ˜€
      Sorry ! It was pure chance that your hugging…..ummm….. HATE hugging post was on my notifier at the time I took the print/scan. So as an apology here’s a big ((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))).
      Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hi Wendy πŸ˜€
      Yes ! It’s on my Gravatar & G+ as well ! She may call back while browsing through them πŸ˜‰
      I don’t get many calls, just local friends. The occasional Spanish salesman I get rid of with two words, “I’m English !”. That really works ! πŸ˜€
      Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are right, Ralph. Your comments are fun … almost as fun as your posts themselves. You whine about being lonely, but have the ladies crawling all over you … tsk, tsk, tsk. πŸ™‚ <3<3

        Like

      • Heehee ! Well, cats crawling all over me ….. yes ! πŸ˜€ Happy Thursday to you Marcy !

        Like

    • Hello dear Nia πŸ˜€
      You are so generous with your comments to me. Thank you so much my friend πŸ˜€
      Love & hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  12. You are hilarious my friend. I will now have to follow your blog πŸ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Alfred πŸ˜€
      Welcome to this corner of WP madness. Thank you for your great comment and follow.
      Ralph πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Don’t worry, darlin’. Your princess will come. πŸ˜€ I agree 100% about the new notifier. But then I also hate the reader and the new posting platform. I’m all for change and progress, as long as they work better and these don’t. Love ya! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello dear Elizabeth πŸ˜€
      *tapping fingers* I’m still waiting ! πŸ˜€
      I agree ! The WP monkeys have had too much time on their own to play without consulting us the users. I hope someone takes their bananas !
      Love & hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  14. You are truly entertaining… but sometimes I get lost… πŸ˜‰ especially since these platforms go from bad to worse… In any case… have a great day!!! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Mariana πŸ˜€
      Thank you so much for enjoying this post.
      It is so easy to get lost and confused with all the new WP updates. I hope it doesn’t ruin your blogging experience too much. From what I can tell your blog is fine and easy to read.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: My Article Read (1-25-2015) | My Daily Musing

  16. I’m so glad I decided to follow you, Ralph. Not only do you make me hoot, you’re also very useful. I think many bloggers agree with you about the new notifier. It’s awful. Like you, I want the arrows back to remind me who I’ve replied to! I’ll have a play with mine later. I thoroughly enjoyed your excellent and very funny post to illustrate the idea of a notifier and notifications. Your delectable therapist may still be in touch . . . in the nicest possible way, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Millie πŸ˜€
      I am happy that you are still with me and are having fun !
      I’ve just left the WP forum after reading the comments made by so many bloggers hating the new notifier. Let’s hope they bring the old one back soon.
      I hope your fortune telling works concerning “delectable” πŸ˜€
      Have a lovely week. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Can we let start working the love-potion because I’m sure then the girl who was ringing you ended up into your arms !! No I don’t have any problems any-more with the new notification, only in the beginning ! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Serach πŸ˜€
      You’re back my friend ! I see I have a pile of comments from you to answer, which I hope to do this evening πŸ˜€
      Love potion is good ! I’ll take two bottles please πŸ˜‰
      I have well over 100 likes & comments just after publishing a post and I really need the notifier to work for me. The old one does. I am glad that you can work with the new one.
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Mike πŸ˜€
      Thank you so much for your great comment. Love it !
      I hope you are enjoying your blogging experience.
      Ralph πŸ˜€

      Like

  18. Hello Darling. Thank you for the laugh and the advice on accessing the old notifier – I don’t like the new one either! Hope you are well. SDHD

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello SDHD πŸ˜€
      Oooh ! Your “hello darling” turns my legs into blancmange ….. oops, sorry, that’s normal for me :/
      I am glad you had fun and also glad to be of help with your notifier.
      I hope you are well too. I am having an aggressive drip all morning Thursday. I hope it doesn’t turn me into an aggressive drip ! πŸ˜€
      Hugs to my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Alone with cats is the cool way to live. Or so I will keep telling myself, over and over and over again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Not πŸ˜€
      Oh, I agree most heartedly. To live with cats is cool ! I reckon it should be PC (politically correct) to live alone with cats. 2 1/2 kids are not for me !
      Heehee ! Over and over and ……..ad infinitum πŸ˜€
      Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  20. Hey friend Ralph,

    Maybe you should just not answer the phone next time! It would save you lots of angst. But then you’d probably spend the rest of your life wondering who called you. πŸ™‚

    Your pal,
    Nancy

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello dear Nancy πŸ˜€
      I am wondering who it is even after answering my home phone. πŸ˜€
      What you say refers to my mobile/cell phone. It rings 4 times then cuts off so never gets answered, so I have to call back 😦
      Have a lovely week my friend.
      Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  21. Hello darling! #< #< Well I'm not going to hang up on this comment, because you are a darling, Ralph! ❀
    I have to review your lesson in notifications. I'm all amok over here!
    Have a great week, and as you and I say, xox ❀ #< #< πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello dear Resa πŸ˜€
      Oh, you are sweet ! Two “darlings” in one sentence ! I’ll take them ! πŸ˜€
      I am so sorry that you are all amok. I hope this post will help you to unamok yourself, as I would like you to be amokless. πŸ˜€
      Thank you my dear friend. Except for Thursday this week will be great for me. I hope the snow and cold your way won’t affect you too much. Keep warm and cuddly.
      Big warm hug. Ralph xoxox ❀ #< #< (as we say πŸ˜€ )

      Like

  22. Humor keeps the world go around ,its essential to live a happy life.Every frame makes the dull day bright.jaalal

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Hehe, the model with the telephone on her head is classic! As for the notifications page, I find it difficult to figure out which comment is on which post… ! Fun post, Ralph πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Christy πŸ˜€
      I really don’t know why people go crazy when there are fashion shows that show this type of design, unless they are taking the mickey out of the industry ! For us though it’s fun !
      I agree. The old notifications page really works for me. I have been back using it for a few days and not touched the new notifier. I am sure they did not sample test the new one before giving us all a headache. I hope they get rid of this new one.
      Thanks my friend it was fun to do.
      Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hi Katie πŸ˜€
      Have you been playing Donkey Kong ? Love your laughter !
      I really don’t know how I found this song. As usual, if I go into YT I am trapped there for a couple of hours watching “How to make a jet engine using only a cuckoo clock and a bag of oranges”. Somehow I found the song while lurking in the shadows of YT ! :/
      I hope you are okay my friend.
      Hugs galore. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hi dear Amalia πŸ˜€
      Thank you my friend πŸ˜€
      Oooh ! I love groovy ! It’s late night now, but your wish will come true tomorrow. I just know it !
      Have a swinging, way-out-man day yourself !
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  24. You could’ve been a comedian Ralph, no wait! You are a comedian! But I’m glad you ended on a serious note. I don’t like the new notifications either; thanks for the link, I bookmarked it on my toolbar and have instant access to the old notifications which are way better! Really appreciate that tip!

    ❀ carmen

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Carmen πŸ˜€
      Heehee ! Thanks !
      I am so glad that I helped you with that awful new notifier. Once I was given the link and used it myself I just had to share it because I knew if I had problems with the new notifier then most other long term bloggers would be suffering as well.
      Have a lovely day my friend.
      Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Whoa! I thought it was ME (re: the new notification system!!!) I can’t see when I’ve replied to someone on my computer, my phone, my notebook, my carrier pigeon…..never seems to “mark that I’ve REPLIED”. Who the hell knows if it’s ME or them? (I say it’s THEM!!!!) So, how ya doin’ these days, Kiddo? Seriously, how you feeling? Hope all is well at your end. As usual, I love your humor!!!!!! πŸ™‚ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Lucie πŸ˜€
      Whoa ! It’s not you ! The new notifier is designed to make us all bang our heads on the wall :/
      Thanks for caring my friend. I’m a bit nervous about having a drip tomorrow but otherwise I’m okayish ! And you ?
      Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hang in there, Little Buddy. I’ll hold you close to my heart….I’m well, thx. Taking one day at a time and one “adventure” at a time. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • I found this reply in Akismet spam. What were you doing there my friend ? Yes. One day at a time ! πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hang in there, Little Buddy. I’ll hold you close to my heart….I’m well, thx. Taking one day at a time and one “adventure” at a time. πŸ™‚

        Like

  26. Lol you funny man. Now be careful getting excited over those kinds of calls. Be on guard! You don’t need a repeat of last’ year’s swindling woman! xo ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Graham πŸ˜€

      Thanks for stopping by. I’ll have a look at your post later once I have reduced my Inbox to a manageable level.

      I agree. The more bloggers who voice their displeasure over the new notifier etc. the better !

      Ralph πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Stephanae πŸ˜€
      Brave women to put out that video, but what fun !
      I hope you are well and that this week has been good to you.
      Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hello Tracy πŸ˜€
      I can see both you & Ute are going to have a fight over that chair, but I think you will share it. It’s big enough !
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  27. I like the photo with the brown sticky tape, taping the phone over his nose the best. But I love the video more, it’s awesome and quite funky, for the ‘oldies’. A little bit catchy. Well chosen Ralph.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Sandra πŸ˜€
      Wow ! You got away from your new blogs and visited ! Thank you, I am honoured !
      The video is so much fun and as you say, catchy !
      Have a lovely evening.
      Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • That made me laugh. I am actually writing a ton of blog posts for my websites at the moment and About pages. So writing more than ever. Ha!

        Liked by 1 person

  28. ƸӜƷ ΒΈ.β€’Β°*β€Λœ ƸӜƷ Λœβ€*Β°β€’. ✫ αƒ¦ΒΈβ˜† ΒΈ.β€’Β°*β€Λœ ƸӜƷ Λœβ€*Β°β€’βœ« ✿ ƸӜƷ ✿¸.β€’Β°*β€ΛœΖΈΣœΖ·Λœ
    Bunatatea este infinita pentru aceia pe care noi ii consideram prieteni… Exista totusi prieteni care ne ofera la randul lor acceasi bunatate si aceia sunt adevaratii PRIETENI! O zi binecuvantata!

    Kindness is infinite for those whom we consider friends … However, there are friends who in turn gives us confort kindness and those are real friends!
    A blessed day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Ileana πŸ˜€
      Thank you so much for your lovely pictures and words. Have a wonderful weekend my friend.
      Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Hi Ralph. Better late than never and as usual worth the trip to circle back and take a look. πŸ™‚ I knew I’d find smiles here!

    Like

    • Hi Marcy πŸ˜€
      I am so pleased that you did circle back. Thank you for all your visits my friend.
      Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • My pleasure, Ralph. I love your blog. We miss you on ours, too.

        Are you having problems with my links? Some people have expressed as much, so maybe I can help clarify any questions you have on my ‘new’ format. To open any specific post, just click the title. Comment options are UNDER the title, rather than down by the ‘like’ buttons.

        http://orples.net/

        Liked by 1 person

      • No. I am not having any problems other than a stack of new posts and millions of comments here to wade through. I hope to be over again and make some comments. πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ah, the price of being loved. … no worries, I enjoy reading the comments on your blog … some of them are down right funny. πŸ™‚ ❀

        My worry is that my links aren't working correctly. I've had a lot of problems with them since I switched blogs.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks Marcy. I find I have a lot of fun in comments when you and some others play along.
        I hope your links are sorted out soon. I’ll be over when I can. πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  30. Thanks I couldn’t recall how to think enough to thwart wp ‘improvements’ to get that page!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. I actually like the new notification bar πŸ˜€ It keeps all of the unseen comments in “light” until I click on them

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Fantastic post as always my dear Ralph. πŸ™‚ Your room looks really nice. The round chair is great and the photo of the cat on the phone is so funny. πŸ˜€ I think she wants to talk to the cute dog with the mobile phone. πŸ˜€
    XOXO Julia ❀

    Like

    • I love that round chair Julia. It’s so comfy. I can get 3 people on it easily and it swivels. Yes, the cat on the phone ! So funny ! I hope you had a great weekend. Love your posts especially when you are featured. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hallo Wolfgang. Danke fΓΌr Ihren Besuch und verbringen Sie Ihre wertvolle Zeit hier. Ich sehe auf Ihrem Blog haben Sie genΓΌgend Schnee. Keiner hier, Gott sei Dank! Ralph πŸ˜€

      Like

  33. Thanks so much for liking my poem Review. I shall hope you don’t have to use it on someone any time soon. Brent Kincaid, WordMusic.

    Liked by 1 person

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