Can You Help Me To Enhance My Rear Balcony ?



My rear balcony is quite small and empty. I would like to make it look more homely over the summer.

It was full of logs late 2013 ………


….. and this year it just has a couple of pots.





I’ve got a few ideas such as storing vehicles (which I haven’t got !)






Maybe I can make it animal friendly.







I like babies …….



…… and I like sleeping.



I could make it people friendly.










I may use a plant in a pot.



I won’t go down these routes !







I don’t have to sign anything to do it !





Now I am lost !



Maybe all I need on my balcony is a pair of tits ……


…..or sun drenched boobies.



I need a push ! Can you help me ?


Ralph xox ❀


Except for my balcony photos the rest were found on Google Search and are not mine !

123 Comments on “Can You Help Me To Enhance My Rear Balcony ?

  1. Laughed 15 minutes 47 seconds! Best to you and the whole house (balcony included)!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hi JF πŸ˜€
      15 minutes 47 seconds ?
      That’s 15 minutes 46 seconds longer than my drafting of this post !
      Thank you my friend for your great comment. Ralph πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Very funny Ralph. I don’t know where you get all these wonderful pictures. Love the balcony with the toilet on it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Lynne πŸ˜€ Thank you my friend. I hope the balcony you mentioned is not yours πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀


  3. I think a couple of small chairs and a small table would be good (I am not sure how much room you have). Put some flowers or some green plants there would be nice. Oh, might need an umbrella for shading.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello YC πŸ˜€ What great ideas ! As a balcony landscaper you are hired ! Ralph πŸ˜€


    • Hi Beth πŸ˜€ I have heard of Miss S. White who abandoned 7 dwarves for a passing prince. If the dwarves need a rental place then maybe I’ll convert the balcony into a micro-apartment πŸ˜‰ Great idea my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Rene πŸ˜€ Brilliant isn’t it ? Mind you skinny dipping is out of the question πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Ralph, I would go for the swimming pool too. Something very challenging about diving into a pool on a balcony.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Leslie πŸ˜€ Wow ! You are braver than me ! No way would I dive in there ! Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. If you can’t do skinny dipping, can you do fatty dipping?

    So, the cats can just look out there, not go out there? Bummer.

    I don’t know, maybe build an extension onto the balcony so that when your wonderful world of blogdom mates come to visit, you have somewhere to put them. It should have an ensuite bathroom for those of us who would like to become accustomed to such things. Oh, and a nice bar fridge. Maybe you can just move onto the new extension and leave your apartment for the rest of us? Yeah, that’s the way to go. You’re welcome. πŸ™‚

    oxo ❀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Yvonne πŸ˜€
      Fatty dipping ? Sounds like frying french fries πŸ˜‰ lol
      The cats do go out on the balcony, normally later in the morning as we’ve been having frosty nights and the cats love to be in the warm behind glass.
      Lovely idea for “blogdoom mates”, but, hey Yvonne I want a balcony !! You know, an outdoor area to do whatever people do in an outside area. Bungee jumping, mountain biking or just go indoors if it’s cold and windy πŸ˜‰
      Hugs my friend. Ralph xox ❀


    • Hi Jami πŸ˜€ Thank you so much for the selection of balcony gardens. I love this idea with probably lots of Jasmin. Ralph xox ❀


      Liked by 2 people

  6. Some of your balconies gave me quite a scare! What a fun post! You might try growing your own pot. It would probably be very beneficial! Then if you accidentally fell off your balcony, it wouldn’t hurt as badly! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi MVBFM πŸ˜€
      Not as scary as that glass floor you were on at the top of that skyscraper ! Woah !
      Good idea, growing pot ! But not in this village. Everybody knows everyone else’s business ! Last year some teenagers grew pot by the river near my house and I have never seen so many policemen in a field before !
      Ralph xox ❀


    • Bonjour Fanfan πŸ˜€ Excellente idΓ©e! Simple mais efficace! Je adore simples! Γ©treintes. Ralph xox ❀


  7. You have already shown us the best ideas… I do love that tray hanging there, so you could take your laptop and make the balcony your office. I wished I had a balcony. And you got the little front ones too…..
    Definitely plants need to go there!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hello Ute πŸ˜€
      That’s a good idea in moving the laptop outside in the summer. I’ll have to get the work done first: plants, trellises etc. Do you blog in your sweet little garden ? Hugs. Ralph xox ❀


    • Hello dear Nia πŸ˜€ Great ! I’m glad you enjoyed this post. Hugs. Ralph xox ❀


    • Hello Michael πŸ˜€ Fun isn’t it ! I am pleased that you enjoyed this post. Ralph πŸ˜€


  8. OMG Ralph – you’ve got me in stitches on the floor this morning!! I don’t know where you found these – but thanks for great start to my Monday!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello GP πŸ˜€ That’s brilliant that you had a laugh first thing Monday morning. I try to publish fun posts Monday mornings for Europe and “the Colonies” (oops!) to wake up to. Ralph πŸ˜€


    • Hi skd πŸ˜€ I will post with photos what I have done to the balcony in the summer. Have a lovely day. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Not πŸ˜€ So do I ! Handy little thing isn’t it ? Ralph xox ❀


    • Hello Hilda my local friend πŸ˜€
      Maybe I should call you in ! Perhaps we can visit a garden centre after Easter and see what would be suitable for the balconies.
      Orange is back in this year as per all the other years. With green of course ! πŸ˜‰
      Have a lovely day tomorrow. Ralph xox ❀


    • Hello Diahann πŸ˜€ Great idea ! I live in a rural village and am always given vegetables and fruit by the local Spanish farmers, so no need for a vegetable patch. But a good idea anyway. Glad you had a laugh my friend. Ralph xox ❀


    • Hello Lumar πŸ˜€ That’s really great to read this. Thank you my friend. Ralph xox ❀


  9. I loved this post, Ralph. I think you should put a rocking chair on your balcony so you can rock Liam when he visits. You two looked so chummy in the post you did of your Christmas part. And you know Liam would love the cuddling and fresh air, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Marcy πŸ˜€ Thank you my friend. Actually I do have a rocking chair in my bedroom. I keep it there for when I get old πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox<3

      Liked by 1 person

      • I can’t imagine you EVER getting old, Ralph. You have much too lively a sense of humor to ever grow up. πŸ™‚


      • I know the feeling, Ralph. Believe me, I really, do. πŸ™‚ Oh well, he who has the most birthdays lives the longest, even if they don’t act their age. Feeling it is another thing though, one that can’t always be avoided.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I like all the comments and the ideas, but I think you should turn it into an aviary… would keep the cats entertained for hours (“I thought I saw a puddy-cat”) but……no leaving the door open, otherwise you’ll have a grinning cat, with feathers hanging out it’s mouth. πŸ™‚ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Julie πŸ˜€ I prefer birds to be free. Luckily my cats have been indoors most of their lives, initially due to traffic. So if there is a bird or a lizard they just sit and look at it for hours and pat it around. They don’t try to eat it. Ralph xox ❀


      • Morning Ralph πŸ™‚

        I’m glad there’s no ‘creature-eating’ involved. I really like all creatures, and I agree about birds being free. I think I’m the local bird-lady. All sorts land on the front lawn for a little snack πŸ™‚ ❀

        Liked by 1 person

  11. A tiles balcony — how awesome is that! I haven’t any ideas for you but you’ve given me much to consider. Jo @ Let’s Face the Music

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Jo πŸ˜€ Welcome to Bluefish Way ! That’s great. I hope something strikes your fancy. Ralph xox ❀


  12. Dear Ralph,
    I didn’t get to see what the back wall is like. Is there a window?
    I would paint a mural on the wall. (Surprise!!!) The mural would be a small garden with a path, so it has a sense of depth. Then a hanging planter in each corner of the painting, along with tall, small floor planters in each corner w/ a cascading floral (ie Lobelia) would add a forced perspective. This would make the balcony feel lush, yet, not use up the precious ground space.
    A small table with fold up/down flaps would accommodate your laptop when flaps are down. When friends are over, the flaps go up providing room to rest the refreshments.
    Of course due to space, fold up chairs …. or better … if you have easy to carry kitchen chairs, those could be put out as needed. Again the idea is not to clutter up the space.
    Finally, an awning in a color or pattern to work with the mural. The awning should be the roll up/down type. This way you would have sun when and not you want it. You wouldn’t have to mess around with a sun umbrella taking up space.
    Also, with an awning you can sit out on the balcony when it rains sometimes. I’ve had some nice times enjoying wine and snacks under an awning when it rained.
    _Resa xo ❀ #<

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Resa πŸ˜€ Wow ! Thank you ! I do have a roller canopy. I’ll take a photo tomorrow and answer this properly then. Meanwhile I have searched through my photos and here are some of the rear wall with the french windows to my bedroom. Ralph xox ❀ #<
      My bedroom balcony doors during renovation

      Stacking logs (my bedroom doors on the right)

      Samantha checking logs were stacked correctly

      My bedroom balcony doors now !



      • Wow… Love the windows… well we can’t paint those.
        How do you insert a photo into a comment???
        ❀ #< #<

        Liked by 1 person

      • No I’d rather they weren’t painted !

        Inserting photo in a comment. I can’t type the code as WP deletes it, so I made up a picture. Type this code in a fresh line in YOUR blog comment (doesn’t work on other blogger’s blogs)

        The photo in your dashboard media has a “File URL” such as “”
        Select All so it turns blue. Copy and paste where the red arrow is on the code.

        That’s it. ❀


      • As promised my friend, here are some more photos >>>
        The bedroom french doors open outwards on to the balcony and are clipped to the wall.

        The roller canopy and a strong LED light. I couldn’t step back anymore or I’d have been over the edge of the balcony !

        Canopy opened on a cold and frosty morning this morning !

        I loved all your ideas Resa. There is not a lot of painted area for murals, but I’ll definitely consider the idea. Also the folding table and chairs are a must. Thank you so much for your long comment with loads of sensible ideas. Ralph xox ❀


    • Hello Jeanne πŸ˜€ I am so glad that you enjoyed this post. A balcony for an apartment is a must especially here in southern Spain. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Dear friend Ralph,

    What will you think of next? I guess I will just have to wait until your next blog post to see, right? πŸ™‚


    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello dear Nancy πŸ˜€ Yes, what will I think of next ! I have a post developing in my mind as I write this. Have a lovely day my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  14. This is hilarious. I love the make it animal friendly on the most. I noticed you don’t mince your words with the Tags – Nice pair of —-

    Liked by 1 person

    • …….Boobies !

      Hello Sandra πŸ˜€ Heehee ! I liked the animal section too especially the dog with the satellite collar. Have a lovely evening. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • The guy balanced on the rail, on a balcony I think? The guy with the rip in his bottoms. The logs in your doorway too – Are you testing me? Ha! Cats are purrrrity.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, all those moments ! I really didn’t have a clue what you were talking about ! Yep ! Just testing πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      • I have been putting some new widgets on my this blog, I guess you may have seen them? My Quirky Empire Facebook Pages and added a YouTube page, that I will probably need to copy to a post soon, as it explains what people can expect from my channel. I will also be officially launching my very soon. That will have that page on it and essentially be a website to showcase my Embrace Your Quirky Videos – Then I have to build site, that will be my whole quirky family. Quirky joy.


      • That’s strange ! I needed to approve this reply of yours Sandra. Possibly because it has 2 links within.
        I have noticed all your FB widgets etc. My, you are busy !

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for letting me know. The worldofquiky one is not built at all yet. The embraceyourquiky site, is a simple site, I just have to add a few more pages to it, such as the one I have just created on here.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Jolene πŸ˜€ Heehee ! I’ll supply a blindfold if I do another balcony post, just for you ! πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello LB πŸ˜€

      Oh no ! So funny ! You have an eagle eye my friend ! Maybe you have given me an idea for a future post, butt maybe not πŸ˜‰

      Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Christy πŸ˜€ Heehee ! Trade secret πŸ˜‰ I loved that bike one too. Such fun ! Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Hola Ralph!
    I can’t wait to see what you come up with.
    I love the pool idea. I can’t swim though. So – I would not get that. But – if you know how to swim – you can get that.
    The laptop area surrounded by pots with lovely plants & flowers would make a nice outdoor blogging area though. πŸ˜‰
    xx Saludos y Abrazos xx


    • Hi RoSy πŸ˜€
      The balcony is quite small for swimming. It’s about 11’x4′. My bath is almost as big πŸ˜‰
      Great idea having plants. The Garden Centres open after Easter. I’ll see what they have then.
      Hugs to you my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Dear Ralph, I totally love your new post. It’s so funny. Where do you find all of those pictures? πŸ˜€
    The photos of your cats are really cute and the photo of the “German balcony” is so funny although I’ve never seen a balcony like that in Germany. πŸ˜€
    XOXO Julia ❀


    • Hello Julia πŸ˜€ Thank you so much. This post was a lot of fun to draft. I am so pleased that you loved it πŸ˜€
      I am sure that there must be a balcony like that somewhere in Germany as they must have somewhere to keep the beer cool πŸ˜‰
      I hope you are keeping warm and cosy.
      Ralph xox ❀


  17. Ah as funny as ever! It made me laugh almost to tears -:)! I bet the rugged looking bloke sitting on the roof with a beer in his hand is Kiwi!

    You know what to do with your balcony – it is a perfect serenading spot!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Daniela my friend πŸ˜€
      Oh he’s bound to be a Kiwi especially as he has crutches by the side of the sofa.
      So who’s going to serenade me then ? πŸ˜‰
      Have a lovely day. Ralph xox ❀


  18. Who is going to serenade you? Why isn’t there a queue already -:)?

    You have a lovely day too,
    Hot here at the moment -:)!


    Liked by 1 person

  19. Hmmm, after years of research I am starting to notice a pattern. This human likes tits and boobies of all sorts. πŸ˜‰
    The cats will take over the balcony so perhaps a lovely scratch post condo. 8)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Katie πŸ˜€
      I hope that all this research is free as I need to buy binoculars πŸ˜‰
      I think my cats would love a tree. Are scratch post condos found in towns ? And what are the neighbours like ? πŸ˜‰
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Hilarious ideas. I have to say that sleeping on the rail of the balcony reminds me of a post your did with you on the escalator? LOL xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Debby πŸ˜€
      Thank you.
      I did, didn’t I ? I must get off the fence and find somewhere sensible to sleep like on my bed !
      Have a lovely evening my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Well, I like all your balcony inspirations ;), but I think I’d decide for something more useful :). How big is your balcony? You could put there a little table and two chairs or a small sofa so that you can relax yourself, closer to nature. I know you’re not a palette fan, but they work very well in the outdoors, and they are very cheap and good looking :).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Julita πŸ˜€ You have some great ideas here (thank heavens NO palettes ! πŸ˜€ ). I’ll draft a post in the summer with plenty of photos once I’ve got the balcony looking nice. Have a lovely weekend my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Your balcony ideas leave me creased up, Ralph. The pictures are brilliant. I haven’t got a balcony, so I’m not too full of ideas, but for me it would have to something useful and colourful (i.e. nice to look at). My husband would opt for the wood plie because we have a multi-fuel burning stove. Not pretty, though. Cats are always good, but railway engines and cars . . . no!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Millie πŸ˜€ Thanks for commenting and your husband’s idea of a woodpile. There are two seasons here… & cold ……not much else in between. So the summer stuff has to be moved or cleared for the winter. I did have a woodpile, restocked about three times last winter. Because of my health, this winter, I am relying on electric wall heaters in the apartment which are pretty good as I can’t cope with all the work my log burner entails. Hope you are warm. Ralph xox ❀


      • It’s cold today – a very frosty start. But it’s sunny, so it all looks nice. I look like an Eskimo when I go out and I can’t wait for spring. I love your blog, and will make an effort to read some of your earlier posts. Keep well, Ralph.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Mouse πŸ˜€ Thank you so much. I’m pleased you enjoyed them. Ralph xox ❀


  23. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜† πŸ˜† that sofa on the roof cracked me up. But I have to admit the baby dangling out there in a cage was just a bit scary. If I were you I’d stick to normal- -like maybe the car. πŸ˜† ❀ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Elizabeth πŸ˜€
      Wow ! You did have fun in here ! I am so blessed πŸ˜€ Big hug. Ralph xox ❀


  24. Well, I have no bright ideas at the moment but a word of warning…large pots containing earth to grow nice plants will be mistaken for new cat latrines….speaking from experience here! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Wendy πŸ˜€
      That is so true about cats and fresh earth ! Even silk or plastic flowers (which are so realistic nowadays) are a no-no. Last night there was an awful crash; cat, silk flowers and a wide based vase went flying. Nothing broken on the wood floor thank heavens !
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Loved all these super ideas and I can imagine that’s quite difficult because it’s very tiny but I ‘ll sure to put a mini table on it with 2 gorgeous Coloured chairs and many flowers or plants covering your beautiful balcony and than it will be all fine !! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Serach πŸ˜€
      Your lovely ideas are exactly what I have in mind myself. I’ll have to wait until after Easter for the Garden Centres to open to buy plants. I will show you the result in the summer.
      I hope you and your family are well and happy.
      Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Hi Ralph! My name is Daleen, by the way and to me you feel a bit like family already! I had such a good chuckle now, but there were also some really cool ideas there too like the hook-on laptop desk. Maybe some hanging planters will do the trick or a bird house to attract those Tits you want? πŸ˜‰ Scroll down to the 4th post on this for a cool upcycled idea Thanks, I enjoyed your post. Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Daleen πŸ˜€
      Thank you so much for letting me know your name and the sense of family. So I’m the strange uncle you keep locked up in the attic πŸ˜‰
      Glad you had fun in this post and your ideas are great. Thank you also for the link. I have had a look and the bread tins are a good idea. πŸ˜€
      Ralph xox ❀


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