Cluck ?

It’s been so long since I slept with a woman that I just can’t remember if it’s the same as sleeping with my cats.

v6

One day I may have the answer to this puzzling question

v4

Anyway, I woke up this morning, which I do most mornings and I had a thought.

Okay, I’m a man and it’s difficult I know to have a thought, but I did !

I wondered what women love to do and I came up with these ideas

v2

A woman writer loves to be fontled

A woman chef loves to be oven ready

A woman seamstress loves to be pinned to a dummy

A woman poet loves to be limericked all over

A woman blogger loves to be Freshly Pressed

A woman teacher loves to be ringing her bell

A woman musician loves to be tromboned

A woman lawyer loves to be exploring briefs

A woman pilot loves to be barrel-rolled

A woman soldier loves to be about faced

v4

Of course I could be completely wrong. Maybe women just like wine.

v7

v4

I’ve no idea !

v4

So I am going to have to hypnotise you.

v8

You are feeling sleepy *yawn*

v13

Very sleepy ! You have a sinking feeling !

v15

You are now asleep *snore*.

Hold your nose !

v16

Relax !

v14

You are now in Ralphie-la-la-land.

v4

My male readers only ! Watch the Happy Dance !

v5

v4

Whereas my female readers, I am going to explore your minds through this magic poll. Vote as many times as you like on anything and you can view your results at the bottom of the poll ……… but you won’t remember !

After analysing all the results through extensive study and research I have come to the conclusion that the

v3

… are from Earth.

The poll data is too scrambled to make any sense of it.

v4

I haven’t a clue how to unhypnotise you. Glad I said you’re not a chicken !

d61

v9

Ooops ! Maybe I did ! Sorry !

v4

Cluck ?

v4

Ralph xox ❀

v4

All these images were found on Google Search and are not mine

43 Comments on “Cluck ?

    • Hi Tara πŸ˜€ That’s great ! Job done ! πŸ˜€ Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hello Georgia πŸ˜€ They are great gifs, aren’t they ? Such fun to watch. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  1. You woke up AND had a thought. You poor dear must be exhausted! ;). I am so very glad you did and brightened my day. Cluck 8)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Katie πŸ˜€ Whew ! I am okay. I didn’t have a thought this morning. Glad your day was brightened ……… the turkey’s on fire in your oven πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I did in fact take belly dancing lessons for a time, but I didn’t drink wine or have a cat.
    I now have 2 cats and drink wine, but only my belly dances now. The rest of me designs gowns.
    I don’t stomp on men, but I like to keep them in the dark, preferably in the potato cellar.
    I had a pet chicken, once. We ate her for dinner, which is why I became a vegetarian.
    So, you are a cluck master?
    As you can see, I could not engage in your poll because I am completely confused.
    Much love,
    Resa
    xox ❀
    beeawk!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Beeawk Resa πŸ˜€
      Brilliant ! A brilliant comment my friend.
      Being a cluck master in this dark potato cellar and having hypnotised myself I don’t know which way is up. Can I come out now ? You can take me to dinner. I’ve matured enough. Oops ! Gone over. Vinegar πŸ˜‰
      Sorry to read that you are confused …….. no change then πŸ˜‰
      Ralph xox ❀

      Like

      • Hmm… vinegar would indicate a desire for french fried potatoes. πŸ˜€
        Alright, you can come up, but only for dinner!
        If there are any fried potato crumbs left over, I’ll read them for you. It’s not as succinct as reading palms, but way more insightful than tea leaves.
        xox ❀ (& #<)

        Liked by 1 person

      • Nope ! I’m staying down here ! I knew it ! All you want me for is to flavour your french fries with my vinegar ! πŸ˜‰
        If you wish you may sit at the top of the cellar stairs and read me chapter X11 of “Fried Potato Crumbs Left Over”, the juicy bits. The page corner is folded over. “Palms” ? I couldn’t get my hand around that story, but “Tea Leaves” ! That’s hot !
        xoxox ❀

        Like

    • Hello YC πŸ˜€ Yay ! I am with you there πŸ˜€ Ralph πŸ˜€

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    • Hi Sylvia πŸ˜€ That’s the winner so far. You are so much fun playing along ……. or is it real ? πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hi Ren πŸ˜€ Wow ! Really ? Your comment has made my day too my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  3. So there you are, back in my reader! The problem with sleeping with cats is they want breakfast at 4.30…and you are not allowed to say no. I wasn’t sure how to vote in your poll Ralph, it seems to be loaded towards the ‘yes’ vote πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Wendy πŸ˜€ That’s good news that I am back with you. WP does throw up strange wobblies doesn’t it ?
      0430 breakfast ? Wow ! No way for me. Although my cats have dry food to peck at all day, their tinned food I give to them as soon as the sun sets. I have been doing that since they were kittens and they really tell me off if I am late.
      Loaded “yes” votes ? So it is ! Oh well ! Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ralph, you are very inventive….. women are not easy read so you are really good… thinking what they want ! Great cat pictures too! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Ute πŸ˜€ Thank you so much for your lovely comment. What fun ! Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  5. From Marsha http://tchistorygal.com/ via email.

    Sleeping with a tiny dog is somewhat similar except that they manage to push both partners out of king-sized bed by the early morning hours. That’s why I’m up writing on your blog at 3:20 a.m.! πŸ™‚ So I say, stick with the cats! πŸ™‚

    Lots of love πŸ™‚ xox

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello MVBFM πŸ˜€ That’s strange that you got a security alert when you tried to comment. What have I been up to ? Don’t answer ! πŸ˜‰
      Okay. Cats it is ! Sounds like you, V and Kalev have nights to remember πŸ˜€
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  6. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Thanks so much Ralph! You cheer up my Monday with your humor..I am in doubt to answer the hypnotised or the psychiatric ones.. πŸ˜€ Hope all is well with you! Hugs..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Indah πŸ˜€
      lol. I should vote for the psychiatric if I was you. You’ll be on a winner there πŸ˜‰
      I am feeling better. Not right, but better now that I am taking a much lower dosage of tablets. Thanks for caring, so sweet !
      Hugs back. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  7. You’re cute, I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to live with you πŸ˜‰

    I’m curious though…what does a woman accountant love?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Sherrie πŸ˜€

      You are so sweet to say such fine words πŸ˜€

      That’s easy !

      A woman accountant loves to be audited between the spreadsheets πŸ˜‰

      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Another one that made me grin, Ralph. I would venture to say, that based on your photos, sleeping next to a cat isn’t that different as sleeping next to someone…. uncomfortable, positions in the name of cuddling. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Diahann πŸ˜€ I bow to your expertise in this matter. At least the human always wins the duvet battle against the cat πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Jamal πŸ˜€ Thank you so much. Loved your comment. Ralph πŸ˜€

      Like

  9. Hello Ralph, I was one of the others who said yes because I was hypnotised ………..hahaha ! Loved this poll and this post was very fun,btw are you always sleeping with your cats are you sure ? πŸ™‚ !

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Serach my friend πŸ˜€ lol. I’m so pleased that you had fun with this post.
      Yes, I do. My cats are on, off, in and out of the bed all night.
      I hope you and your family are fine and well. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Lottie πŸ˜€ I don’t think I am ready for an explosive relationship just yet πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  10. πŸ˜† Oh, you almost made me burn my pies. I was laughing so hard. Men are like grapes huh? Never heard that one before. I like, I like. Love the belly dancer too. I used to love to do that in my better back days. πŸ˜‰ So glad I stopped by today. You are the best stress reducer I know of. ❀ xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Elizabeth πŸ˜€ Now that’s funny …… burning your pies ! That’s a new one πŸ˜‰
      I am so pleased that you had fun my friend. Happy Thanksgiving. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  11. Olivia saw you newest list and said, “yes’, she’d consider option #12, except that you’ve already turned her down. πŸ™‚ I think she was put off since you’re only interested in the ‘human’ ladies. πŸ™‚ — Poor little temperamental orple.

    Liked by 1 person

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