Got You !

A prophetic letter from an imaginary Spanish hospital to Ralph

i35

Hah !

i32

Most esteemed stupid Ralph,

You really did think we were serious in trying to cure you. Hah ! No way Hosay ! We are having fun !

i32

We sent you home last Saturday with an arm full of drips and a bag full of tablets

PLUS the most horrendous blocked nose cold we could devise.

i12

We know you won’t mix-and-match cures, so suffer friend.

i13

This cold is created to worsen the other problem you will have……..

i7

……..Β AND THAT WOULD BE ?Β  ……….

i4

……when you, on Sunday, take the first day of tablets we are overdosing you with. LOL.

i32

We are going to give you elephant’s feet. What fun !

i10

i18

No, they’re not ! These are my feet !

i22

And once upon a time you thought that you had flying feet ! No more !

i14

i32

The best is yet to come !

i32

On Monday morning, at precisely 0557am you will get out of bed to go for a pee, but you won’t make it ! Hahaha ! The circulation in your legs will go haywire. Your legs will collapse with severe tingling and you will fall back onto the bed. You will eventually stagger to the toilet.

You won’t be able to stand to pee as your legs will give out and we did want to see this !

i33

This is when you turn yourself into a woman. Sit my boy !

No. Not like this !

i16

For the rest of the day YOU WILL SUFFER. You can’t stand. You will sway ! You’ll be drunk without having a drink. Oh, you are so cheap to buy for !Β 

i1

And the best bit is you will even take your second day of tablets thinking it’s part of the cure. LOL. What fun !

i32

Then you go and ruin it all !

Early Tuesday morning you will have an agonising stand to pee, but you will have to sit again. Oh, we did want to see this !

i34

What do you do ? You call in your neighbour Toni ! You ruin everything !

Yay for Toni !

i32

You ask Toni to phone the hospital doctor for instructions, but we make sure the Neurologist isn’t available and you will have to go and see the local GP doctor which will stress you as he normally sits tapping his keyboard all the time and tells you off for not having a visitor number.

i33

But, GOD-DAMMIT ! He is nice ! He takes your BP, fiddles with your ankle, tells Toni to reduce the strength and course of tablets and tells her that you must eat and drink more. You will leave him happily mumbling to himself,

“Lewis Sumner, eh, Lewis Sumner ! That’s different !”.

i32

Toni then really ruins our plan by buying and cutting bread rolls for you for breakfast. Leaves them outside your front door.

i21

You will make and eat your breakfast…….

i23

i24

i25

…….while your cats enjoy the Spanish morning sun just beside you.

i26

i27

i32

We know you like washing the dishes, but overdosing you will make it hard for you to stand……

i28

i29

i30

……. but, you will do it ! This is getting to be no fun now ! Unless ……

i32

Hahaha ! The GP doctor says for you to oil your legs 3 times a day and we know you are not a girl, but we are going to make you one. LOL

i31

We know you won’t want to slip in the bathroom ……

i9

……. or fall in the bath …….

i5

Β …..but, knowing you, you will have fun oiling your legs and feet !

i3

i2

i32

In conclusion ……..

i32

…… we will see what else we have in store for you Ralph.

Yours, unhappily,

A Spanish hospital.

i32

Time I had a shower. Now that would be some post.

This post is the last medical one for a while. I want to have fun again !

i32

( I am sorry. Since I drafted this post I cannot promise, but I will try to answer all your comments and visit your new posts as I normally do. At the moment I am not normal. No change there then ! πŸ˜€ )

i32

Am I turning into a woman ?

i32

Ralph xox ❀

i32

All the images with a date are mine. The rest have been Google Searched and are not mine.

79 Comments on “Got You !

  1. Hope you get well soon. Can’t be much fun being sick in a country other than your own. Hang in there Ralph.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Lynne πŸ˜€ Documentation in Spain is the main hurdle to cross. Once everything is in place the medical tests are very thorough. Whether the results are read correctly that’s another story. A bonus with this hospital is that all the staff I met are Spanish and speak the national language. In some countries hospitals are staffed by people from all over the world (ie. UK) which complicates things. I take a Spanish speaking friend with me here as my Spanish is Urdu to them πŸ˜‰ Thanks for your comment which I am hanging on πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  2. Oh, Ralph, why does someone as nice as you (you are nice, aren’t you???), have to get rotten side-effects as well as everything else?

    Please don’t worry about answering my comment, save your energy for your project to explore your feminine side.

    Love and concern from Down Under Here. Baci ed abbracci … xoxo ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Yvonne πŸ˜€ Of course I am nice so the ladies in white coats say πŸ˜‰ This drug thing is really bad. I feel so strange, stranger than usual. It must be my feminine side kicking in…….. I feel like shoe shopping πŸ˜‰ You are so kind my friend. Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  3. I hope you feel better soon. I can feel your difficulties. Please do not worry that you have to turn into a woman. It does you good πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, stop taking pills! Just eat raw onions and you’ll be running with girls again!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi JF πŸ˜€ I wish I could stop taking the tablets. They have to be reduced gradually or I’ll turn into a pumpkin πŸ˜‰ Raw onions ? The girls would be running away. Well they do anyway. Ralph πŸ˜€

      Like

      • Ralph, you must also eat 3 plums daily. It will keep girls close. πŸ˜‰

        Like

      • I’ve just been to the local store JF. No plums. What will 3 melons and 3 walnuts get me ? πŸ˜‰

        Like

      • Ahh. Don’t turn into a pumpkin this time of year! You’ll end up a pie. πŸ˜‰
        Best wishes for you my friend and my friend’s cats bathing in caffeine. 8)
        Kt

        Liked by 1 person

      • #Katie
        Hello my friend πŸ˜€
        It took me forever to find this comment of yours ……. must be the tablets !
        Oh dear. Changing into a woman or a pie …… I’ve had it !
        lol. Yes. She should keep the cats away from the caffeine πŸ˜‰
        A big hug for you Katie. Ralph xox ❀

        Like

  5. Poor MFR. This is awful! There’s nothing wrong with being a girl, trust me on this, but I don’t recommend it for boys. Sitting is not the only thing we do. Here’s hoping you can stand soon! πŸ™‚ Wishing the best for you, Ralph. πŸ™‚ xox

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi MVBFM πŸ˜€ My hands now have severe tingles, they hurt, started last night, which is okay as I’ll be playing “Tingle Bells” in a few weeks time πŸ˜‰
      As a boy, I am so pleased to read your recommendation. My idea was to be with a woman, not be one ! πŸ˜€
      Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hi Amy, my fuzzy, cuddly friend πŸ˜€ You are so sweet. Thank you. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  6. Dear Ralph,

    Yes, you might be turning into a woman! The big tip offs are worrying about your feet,and oiling your legs. Do they have you oiling your breasts? If so, the answer is a definite…yes!
    If not, then I’m not sure what they are up to.
    Beware!
    Resa
    xox ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Resa πŸ˜€ I saw your comment come in last night. Did I laugh ? So I just had to answer it, which kick-started me into answering all the other comments.
      I thought in the Game Of Life that the idea is for me to live with a woman and oil her breasts πŸ˜‰ My Spanish is not that good so the doctor may have told me to oil my own breasts or the nurse’s. No idea ! πŸ˜‰ You are not sure what they are up to. I’m not sure what I am up to. On your recommendation my Beware is fully activated. πŸ˜€ Great comment my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

      • xox #< So what if you turn into a woman? I'll always like you…. although the bike shed would be a no go! πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Fillandra | the Transformative Writer

    Gosh f*** the pharmacy industry… it gets insane. But well they can’t make money out of health so that’s why I guess.
    Get well soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Fill πŸ˜€ I must agree with you.
      It’s lovely to talk to you again after so long. I hope you are having a happy and wonderful life as all young ladies of your age should have and enjoy. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m doing lousy at this woman thing, I have been neglecting oiling my legs. No wonder they are all creaky and rusty feeling.

    Here’s to continued recovery! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Not πŸ˜€

      ADVERT
      I used to have creaky, rusty feet until I used Johnson’s baby oil. I sat on the edge of the bath, opened the top and squeezed the bottle. The oil shot out through the tiny hole across the bathroom and dribbled down the far wall of the hall. As a WMD I recommend this product. (That will be $100 for recommending your product Johnson’s and $300 cleaning up bill !! ) πŸ˜‰

      Thanks for caring my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  9. So pleased you saw the GP, even though he’s a dope!!! πŸ˜‰
    Take care, and don’t overdose on the oiling. πŸ™‚
    xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Carolyn πŸ˜€ I’m glad I saw him as well. Maybe I’ll have to return and see him due to my oil overdose. Slurp ! Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh Ralph, you are a treasure!
        You have written that you would like a woman ‘by your side’, so to speak. Looking at the long list of comments, you may be one of the only men in the world to have women, by the score, caressing and loving you; even if it is ‘by Internet’…. πŸ˜‰
        xoxoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      • You are psychic young lady. You have peeped at the first line of the next post I am publishing this time tomorrow ……. “by your side” ……. *playing theme of the Twilight Zone* πŸ˜‰
        Thanks for the reference, you are a ⭐
        Love and hugs xox ❀

        Like

      • Hi again Carolyn πŸ˜€ I thought about what you said about internet women overnight and I would like to use that particular reply as an intro to a future post. Is that okay with you ? (I will link your blog πŸ˜€ ) xox

        Like

  10. Take care, Dear Ralph, everything is going to be fine soon and……….you are going to have super lovely legs!!! Look at the bright side πŸ˜€ Hugs. Stefy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Stefy πŸ˜€ You are so sweet. Thank you. I am worried about the side effects going with the super lovely legs. A possible future me ? Ralph xox ❀
      .

      .

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Masgautsen πŸ˜€ Thank you so much. You are so kind ! Have a lovely Sunday.. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  11. Ralph, I do hope you are getting better soon and your legs function again. Haven’t lost your humour which is the best thing. Oil for legs is good for men and women I am sure. Healing hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Ute πŸ˜€ What a lovely comment from you my friend. I have been unable to use my hands for typing today, but it’s improved enough to talk to you. Hurts like hell, but maybe it will be worth it in the end. Hugs back to you. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

      • I am so sorry to hear that, and yet you did type to me, I appreciate that. Yes who knows it might be getting worse before it gets better…. let’s hope! Ute β™₯

        Liked by 1 person

  12. You better not be oh dude with the little furry dude pic there. I will get Hamstah DIckens to send you more fur. it is very manly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx my friend

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh dear Ralph, I wish and hope you to get well soon, don’t worry for anything, I know you will be fine again, keep your smile always, we all love you, Angels be with you always, Thanks and Love, nia

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Nia πŸ˜€ You are also really sweet and caring. Thank you so much my afar away friend. Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  14. Cheers to the hospital for putting up a post in your honor and in your style. You taught them well. More importantly, take care of yourself and get well!

    Like

    • Hello Whispy (may I call you that as I love to type it) πŸ˜€ I loved that gif, so much so I have put it on my sidebar for a while. Have a wonderful whispish Sunday. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  15. you and bruce jenner, both. please get well soon and don’t about answering, just your your energy to stand up when you want to )

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Beth πŸ˜€
      This is a girlie thing, yes ? I had to Google BJ and we have a girlie link πŸ˜‰
      I can stand up. It feels like I’m standing on a child’s swing all the time. Give me a push !
      Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hello Sheri πŸ˜€ Yes, I am at home, safe and secure. Oh, you are so sweet worrying about me. Thank you so much ! A mega-hug for that. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  16. You’ll never will turn into a woman…………….you know Ralphy and I can totally (almost) imagine how do you feel and it was also very creative how you expressed yourself in this beautiful post of you !! Get well very soon and it doesn’t bother me if you would talked about it in your next post ! Have a very lovely weekend friend ❀ πŸ™‚ !

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Serach πŸ˜€ I hope not ! I was quite happy being a man πŸ˜‰ Thank you so much for your caring and lovely comment my friend. Happy Sunday ! Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hello LB πŸ˜€ I hope so too ! Thank you so much my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hi Pam πŸ˜€ lol. I am sure that women do ! Thank you so much for your caring words as I do appreciate them. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  17. You poor, poor, darling. I hope you feel better soon. What a rotten thing being sick is.Don’t worry about answering this comment. Get lots of rest and good food. Thank goodness for your dear friend Toni. ❀ xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Elizabeth πŸ˜€ I just had to reply to your lovely, caring comment. Thank you so much my friend and I am so pleased to see you back with us bloggy friends. Big hug. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  18. Hi Ralph, do you actually know what they are treating you for? Maybe they have hidden a webcam in your house and now you are the star of the latest reality show on Spanish TV?
    Feel better soon. (Why am I missing your posts? They don’t seen to appear in my reader anymore 😦 ) xxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Wendy πŸ˜€
      I hoped that they were treating me for Lewis Sumner.
      Good idea. I had better check for cameras πŸ˜‰
      No posts ? Maybe you unfollowed me out of utter boredom πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Thank you for liking “November Skies.” I understand your frustration. You go to the hospital to get well and leave with more problems instead! 😦 I am sorry to hear about all those awful side effects from your treatment. I hope you will get better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Arlene πŸ˜€ You are very welcome. I enjoy looking at your artwork πŸ˜€
      I know ! I go into hospital healthy except for my hands. Now look at me, a right mess ! Never mind. I am well enough to talk to you and to thank you for your lovely comment my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Lovely Ralph, I do hope you are feeling a bit better now. It’s horrible feeling unwell. Please don’t worry about replying to this comment. I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you and sending you HUGE hugs. Wish that I lived nearer, I’d be round like a shot to lend a hand and cheer you up. Lottie xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Lottie πŸ˜€ I want to reply ! I still have this wretched hospital cold and the side effects of the tablets are still taking it’s toll, but otherwise all’s well ! I know that because a massive clap of thunder has just agreed with me πŸ˜‰ You are so kind. Maybe we will meet someday. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m sure that we will, Ralph. Next time I know that I’m going to be in your neck of the woods, I shall let you know – it would be such fun to meet up xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  21. Fabulously entertaining, although the subject matter is terrible 😦 Hoping you are on the mend!!! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • HI Debby πŸ˜€ Tomorrow is the last day of my course of those awful tablets. I hope the side effects will soon wear off ! Thanks for caring my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  22. How atrocious! Tablets from hell, clearly…My thoughts are with you, dear Ralph. So aggrieved to learn you have endured such unpleasantness…hope you are on the mend, now, dear friend, and feeling greatly improved!

    smiling toad

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi AJ πŸ˜€ Thank you for caring. So sweet ! I am still having side effects but not so bad. I hope that you and Sir are well and happy. Ralph xox ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • So glad at least some of the side-effects have abated, some, dear matie. Sir and I are still rattling around, thank you πŸ˜‰ Cheers and bug hugs,

        smiling toad

        Liked by 1 person

valeriedavies

Author of The Sound of Water and other books

Photobooth Journal

A life in a photobooth.

anotherdayinparadise

Travels in Paradise

Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

As I navigate through this life ...

Little Lilly Meets the World

Every step is a memory

Mihran Kalaydjian's Official Blog

Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s. Billy Wilder

Travelling with Lyn

My experiences in Italy and the world

But I Smile Anyway...

Musings and memories, words and wisdom... of a working family woman

Le ricette di Laura.

Se nessuno ti vede mentre lo mangi, quel dolce non ha calorie.

Truly Madly Ordinary.Stories From The Heart.

Life,emotions,and adventures of an Italian woman,wife and mum in Ireland

Butterfly Sand

Curiosity run amok . . .

A Day in the Brine

Unkempt Mind dribbling in the seethe

Le Drake Noir

Andrikken

Welcome To Nicki Β© 2018

Just Another WordPress.com site..

Pacific Paratrooper

This WordPress.com site is Pacific War era information

larisanineldesignillustration.wordpress.com/

Illustration is the passion of my life!

My Window

Sharing my thoughts, poems, travel & art

Significant Anonymity

Opinions are mine, thoughts are yours, comments most welcome. ZERO affiliates, paid advertisers or political partners. Nine years and still here.

TedBook's DAILY PICS...

Something that caught the lens of the Photographic Staff

Widdershins Worlds

WRITING LESBIAN FICTION, SCIENCE FICTION, AND FANTASY, SINCE THE 20TH CENTURY

Baffled Mum

Laughter makes Life easier!

Charliecountryboy's Blog

My reflections of life in general.

Curmudgeon at Large

Short bursts of curmudgeonry on any topic.

Rhode Island Armenians

OVER 10,000 STRONG!!!

Empty Nest Adventures

Life after the kids are grown

Thinking Ahead

I like a lot of things about life. I write about some of them.

The Cvillean

The adventures of little read writing Hood

MS Graceful...NOT!

Living with MS in an empty nest and exploring uncharted territory in my 40's:)

Julia Streetstyle Blog

Fashion Blogger, Designer, Globetrotter

OVER THE HILL on the YELLOW BRICK ROAD

Growing older with silliness, high spirits and a lot of heart.

Blog Woman!!! - Life Uncategorized

Mother, Nehiyaw, Metis, & ItisahwΓ’kan - career communicator. This is my collection of opinions, stories, and the occasional rise to, or fall from, challenge. In other words, it's my party, I can fun if I want to. .................................................................. Artwork by aaronpaquette.net

Walking With Scars

My daily dance through a creative life as a female artist and photographer with lifelong depression.

the incurable dreamer

my dreams are my disease, chasing them my only option

My Hearing Loss Story

This is my story about my experience of sudden sensorineural hearing loss and how it affects my life.

BulanLifestyle.com

Welcome to my Art and Lifestyle Blog. Follow my adventures as a Bohemian artist.

Surprising Lives

Discover Life: Incredible People, Places, And Our World!

Out an' About

Loving Life On and Off the Tracks

MagickMermaid

Day-Dreamer, Moon-Gazer, Confirmed Contrarian, Traveler, Artist, Frustrated Cartoonist, Perennial Fish Out of Water

Skinny and Single

Single and Almost 50 and Not Suicidal About It

Cruise Stories

cruise ship adventures

brushes and papers

my learning journey

Marsha Ingrao

Traveling & Blogging Near and Far

BRILLIANCE WITHIN

Inspiring the WOW factor in life and business

Arcilla y fuego

Una visiΓ³n sobre el complejo y apasionante mundo de la cerΓ‘mica

%d bloggers like this: