Ralph. Shirt. Buttons. Cat. Bra.

Ralph. Shirt. Buttons.

Being a man, one thing that I’m very good at is putting a shirt on.

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It’s quite easy really. Two holes ! Put my arms though !

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That’s when dressing comes to a grinding halt for me. As I can’t do the buttons up !

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I can do zips. Zip them up or down. But, buttons, no way !

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Even laying the shirt on the bed. So fiddly.

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It’s pure chance a button inserts itself into its correct slot. Yay ! Ten minutes. One button in its hole !

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Cat

“I’ve watched my idiot Dad long enough !” thinks Samantha as she jumps on the bed. “Ten minutes ! Is that all he has done ? It’s easy ! That glittery toy that I like to chew goes in that claw hole I made yesterday ! Simple !”

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ย And promptly settles down.

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“But I’m not doing it cos’ I’m a cat !”

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“It’s soft and comfy here. I’ll let Daddy make a hash of things as he usually does !”

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As usual, Ralph gives up and puts a buttonless slip-over top on !

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Bra

Thank heavens I haven’t got a woman around the house !

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A woman would be handy to help with my buttons and have hot sex in Jerusalem. HOT SEX IN JERUSALEM !! Where did THAT come from ??

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Being an engineer once, I have never understood the intricacies of a bra. I have studied bras as a hobby. Well a man has to have a hobby !

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I’ve ironed them and repaired one or two in the past.

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.

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But to remove one would be fun and impossible with my hands as they are.

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and

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Women make it look so simple…..

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…….and complicated !

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They wear all sorts of bras. Push up…..

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…..in the gym.

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Some have whale bone. I used to like fishing around in bras…..another hobby of mine……. fishing !

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They wear bras like this at the school play to keep the Dads happy I suppose !

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Women always have to exchange bras in a store that they didn’t buy it from !

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ย They also have many uses such as supporting papayas ……

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……. hanging baskets ……..

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……. and friendly face masks.

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By the way. I have been tidying up behind the bike sheds in Bluefish Way and found a couple of bras which you may have mislaid. Do you want them back ?

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(All bra related pictures were borrowed from a Google Search. The bras, pictures, kitten and women are not mine)

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Have you had button, zip or bra disaster ?

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Ralph xox โค

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64 Comments on “Ralph. Shirt. Buttons. Cat. Bra.

    • Hi Dom ๐Ÿ˜€ Welcome to Bluefish Way. It’s great to read your comment ! The only way to cope with my problems is to make fun of them and blogging about them is a great release. Ralph ๐Ÿ˜€

      Like

    • Hi Katie ๐Ÿ˜€ It’s really great of you to visit my blog and comment ……..after ONLY reading the first line of this post !! I’d hate to read that you had caught an eye-strain while here. *removing shirt* ๐Ÿ˜‰ Hugs. Ralph xox โค

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      • Thank you for your concern. I am trying to avoid catching eye strain. ;D
        I am still pondering what to say about bra wearing papayas. Hehe. 8)

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      • See ! I am so caring ! Especially about you.
        Maybe the bra wearing papayas are models for Wonderbra ๐Ÿ˜‰ xox

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  1. I’m kinda speechless, again! Man, bras are such uncomfortable pieces of clothing, but I’ll take that as opposed to your ongoing problems with hands that don’t co-operate.

    When do you see the ‘aggressive’ doctor again? Baci e abbracci (look, there’s a bra in abbraci!) oxo โค

    Like

    • Hi Yvonne ๐Ÿ˜€ Have I made you speechless again ? This is becoming a habit *removing monastic wear ๐Ÿ˜‰ *. I doubt if I will see my aggressive doctor until at least September as everything closes down in August in Spain.
      Abracadabra has two bras and that is a magical thought for me ๐Ÿ˜‰
      Hugs. Ralph xox โค

      Like

  2. Buttons are a bitch, but here’s a tip! ๐Ÿ™‚
    Have your new GF who is the reason you are cleaning out behind the bike shed, sew Velcro onto the button placements.
    Using a pick stitch, be careful how/or if you catch the top layer of the placket. Artfully sewn the buttons onto the buttonholes. There’s no actual buttoning up, but it looks buttoned up.
    _Resa xoxo ๐Ÿ˜Ž

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Resa ๐Ÿ˜€ I still have no GF here yet ! *sobbing* so I’ll have to do it myself. Firstly, do I have to remove my shirt while pick stitching ? And secondly, is it painful if I catch the top layer of my placket ?
      I learn a lot from you my expert friend and many following commenteers agree with you wholeheartedly. Thank you for uplifting this blog into the realms of sense and education ….. a little bit ! Hugs. Ralph xox โค

      Like

      • By all means remove the shirt. “LOL”
        Hmm… Have you tried looking the word “placket” up in a dictionary?
        โค Sorry about the common sense and education! I forgot where I was! ๐Ÿ™‚ xox

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      • Definition of PLACKET
        1
        a : a slit in a garment (as a skirt) often forming the closure
        b archaic : a pocket especially in a woman’s skirt
        2
        archaic
        a : petticoat
        b : woman

        Oh. I looked it up ! So I HAVE to wear a skirt and petticoat then ๐Ÿ˜‰
        I forgive you for not knowing where you were my friend. ๐Ÿ˜€ โค

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      • Okay. I’ll take your advice. Skirt and petticoat it is then ! lol โค
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  3. Oh my, you have been busy back behind the old bike shed. I don’t see any of mine there. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I think Resa had an excellent suggestion with the Velcro on the button up shirts. Velcro works great. Or just have your new girlfriend button you up. When did you get a new girlfriend? Does this mean I have to stop calling you sweetie and darlin? Or giving you all these (((HUGS))) and โค โค โค ? Samantha is looking gorgeous as usual. ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • Hello Elizabeth ๐Ÿ˜€ No. You won’t see any of your bras there as the cats are using them as hammocks on the front balcony ๐Ÿ˜‰
      Resa is a brilliant designer and seamstress http://artgowns.com/ and I just love her gowns ! You seem to know a thing or two as well ๐Ÿ˜€
      I still have no GF here. The story is ongoing, but eventually something will happen, then I will be able to write a post or three with a happy ending for me.
      Meanwhile. Wipe your feet my friend. I love your sweeties, darlins, hugs and kisses and I may as well reopen behind the bike sheds as it’s nice and clean with a new bar and a pool. Hugs and kisses sweetie darlin. Ralph xox โค

      Like

  4. Not yet so far with button up. I can understand it can be difficult to some. Samantha really enjoys the soft feel of your shirt.

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    • Hi YC ๐Ÿ˜€ I find many things impossible ie. picking a coin off the floor, extracting a coin from a store cart etc., but I’m used to it now so I don’t get in a panic.
      Samantha loves to help me read the newspaper as well. She curls up on it and goes to sleep. Hopeless ! Ralph ๐Ÿ˜€

      Like

    • Hi Valentina ๐Ÿ˜€ Never ? Never what ? I must have then ! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Hugs. Ralph xox โค

      Like

    • Hi Beth ๐Ÿ˜€ Cross dresser ? No ! I am never angry when I try your bra on ! lol. heehee ! Big hug. Ralph xox โค

      Like

  5. Hi Ralph! I like the idea of the Clap Bra as well as the one that is opened with a rubix cube. A woman could choose which one to wear depending on how much she liked her date. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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    • Hi Gallivanta ๐Ÿ˜€ There is something to be said for that ! ie. “Isn’t it winter where you live ?” ๐Ÿ˜‰ Hugs. Ralph xox โค

      Like

  6. I chuckled heartily! I like the above suggestions for a nice neat buttoned shirt, but is fastened with Velcro, great idea. I didn’t know you had a GF! It had a sad tinge due to the unsteady hands.

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    • Hello Steve ๐Ÿ˜€ Not to worry about my hands my friend. There are always ways around doing things. Yes. I agree. The Velcro idea is a good one. I SORT of have a GF. The whole story will be told to you in the future. Have a great day, both of you. Ralph ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Shey ๐Ÿ˜€ Oh. Go on. Tell ! Please ! Nobody reads my blog so it will be just between you and me (and the whole of WordPress) ๐Ÿ˜‰ Big hug. Ralph xox โค

      Like

  7. Oh dear Ralph!
    I say stick to shirts with no buttons.
    Or – keep the button shirts buttoned except for the top two or three – to put over your head & not have to button all the buttons every time. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    A recent clothing dilemma for me is that a poof in the gut area won’t allow me to button my pants.
    So – this is what I do with my pants that are not elestic waistband all the way around:

    xx Saludos y Abrazos XX

    Like

    • Hi RoSy ๐Ÿ˜€ Thank you so much for your advice. I will cut the buttons off my shirt in this post then ๐Ÿ˜‰ lol. Lots of hugs. Ralph xox โค

      This is what you do in your comment:
      .

      .
      This is my suggestion. Compo’s belt (middle man) in “The Last Of The Summer Wine”
      .

      .

      Like

  8. Lol Ralph, I just loved this post! You didn’t leave much to the imagination after displaying every type of bra made to man, or woman, lol. As for the buttons, just a wear Tshirt. LOL xoxo

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    • Hi Debby ๐Ÿ˜€ My imagination does go beyond the call of duty sometimes. A Tshirt is just fine as it’s really hot here in southern Spain. Maybe no shirt is best. Big hug. Ralph xox โค

      Like

  9. Hi Ralph, why not just wear t shirts instead? Or be like my husband and not bother to undo them when you take the shirt off ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m not saying anything about bras…..

    Like

    • Hi Wendy ๐Ÿ˜€ I suppose it’s a habit in doing and undoing buttons. I’ll have to rethink my strategy or find a woman to help. I’m not saying any more about bras. I think I’ve said enough. Must get a “cup” of coffee ! Ralph xox โค

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I have never felt comfortable with zippers – avoid them as much as possible – all my jeans have buttons instead of zippers – iI guess I’m better to zip down than to zip them up – by the way zip down and zip up, it’s the same action ie opening – so how should I close a zip… ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

    Bra disasters..?
    – never used them… ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

    Like

    • Hello Drake ๐Ÿ˜€ I think you need a rocket scientist to answer your zip question…….or, maybe a nurse ๐Ÿ˜‰
      Glad to hear about the bra. Ralph ๐Ÿ˜€

      Like

      • Hi Drake ๐Ÿ˜€ I can’t find your email anywhere as I wanted to send you this. Definitely you !
        .

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  11. No I don’t have any problems, maybe only the size but I’ll come over it………….hahaha ! Very fun and interesting post Ralph and can I get my bra back ??? ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • Hello Serach ๐Ÿ˜€ Yes, you’ll get over it ! Small is good !
      No, sorry, your bra is being used as store for my screws, nails etc. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Have a lovely Sunday. Ralph xox โค

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      • Than it’s still useful, great ! Have a Beautiful Monday……here it’s hot in Italy ๐Ÿ™‚ !

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  12. Do hair clip issues count? I used to wear my hair up a lot, but after breaking my elbow I could no longer reach the back of my head nor fasten the clips…..so I got it cut shorter and layered. Guess that would not solve your button problem, but at least pullover shirts work for that.

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    • Hello LB ๐Ÿ˜€ Of course hair clips count ! At least you ended up with a new hair style ๐Ÿ˜‰ I hope your elbow is healing fast. Hugs. Ralph xox โค

      Like

  13. Hard to layer your chest like LB layered her hair, unless you’re hairier than I think you are! Your best bet, I think, is to forget about shirts, and wear boxers instead of jeans. Or maybe you can get clap on and clap off shirts and pants! If you don’t want to expose yourself, and you want to spruce up your t-shirt, you can layer it with an unbuttoned shirt over the t-shirt. V does that sometimes. So that’s all the fashionista suggestions I have for now. Just be glad you don’t have to WEAR bras every day. Your whole blog wouldn’t be big enough to hold all your complaints, if you think buttons in front are hard to fasten. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • Hi MVBFM ๐Ÿ˜€ lol. I love your comment especially the clap on/off shirts and pants. It’s too hot here for a t-shirt and an open shirt together. One layer is more than enough. I agree, I couldn’t handle a bra even if I was offered the chance ๐Ÿ˜‰ hahaha. Happy Sunday my friend. Ralph xox โค

      Like

  14. Big problem creates รฎncheiatul buttoning shirts! ๐Ÿ˜† But you said in your style playful characteristic! I amused your post, Ralph.
    Have a splendid weekend, Ralph! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • Hello ลžtefania ๐Ÿ˜€ Thank you. I am so pleased that you enjoyed this post my friend. Take care. Ralph xox โค

      Like

  15. Well Ralph, the whole bra business upstaged the lead-in about your being button-challenged. You haven’t seen ’em all until you’ve seen a pig head bra. Google it. It’s there. You have a great sense of humor and are generous to share it with us.

    Like

    • Hello Hattie ๐Ÿ˜€ Welcome to Bluefish Way where you have probably found me making a pig’s ear out of blogging and my life.
      I did Google it ! Yuk ! How could she wear those heads ? I prefer to see lace myself ๐Ÿ˜€
      Your last sentence is so sweet. Thank you so much. Hugs. Ralph xox โค

      Like

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