Hello Beautiful !! Ralph’s Online Dating Mayhem

I am having as much fun with this online dating than in here. Are all women so wacky ?


I was quietly minding my own business tapping away at the keyboard here in southern Spain. A comment I think. Then up popped a message for me out of the blue from one of the 2 dating websites. So I left off writing the comment, opened up the inbox in the website and read this message.

Hello Beautiful !! I would love to come around tonight to comfort you.

*shock* I have not been propositioned like this by anyone for years, not even by a hedgehog. In fact, not even since Helen of Troy dropped her toga. (Now that’s another story !). You know, the one who’s beauty sunk a thousand ships. That one !!

I looked again at the message and the photo of the pretty woman’s face and thought to myself, why not ? Live a little Ralph !! I was just about to reply and *shock* the message came from a woman in …….. wait for it ……….Β  from >>>>>

ROME, Italy !!!

Oh boy ! Are women geographically inept ?


Has anybody got a hedgehog ??

(to be continued. Is nothing simple with me ??)


Ralph xox ❀


63 Comments on “Hello Beautiful !! Ralph’s Online Dating Mayhem

  1. Hahahaha, Ralph, you have no idea how intertaining your posts are to me πŸ˜€ I have no doubt that you will have many more adventures like this…


    • Hi Ivy πŸ˜€ We’ve got to laugh about these incidents. I just can’t take this dating thing seriously anymore. Ralph xox ❀


  2. Ralph, dare I suggest these ‘ladies’ may not be seeking romance, but clients….It’s early days! Fingers crossed πŸ™‚


    • Hello Wendy πŸ˜€ I realised that business was behind the message, So funny though. Ralph xox ❀


  3. Sorry. I’ve got no hedgehogs. But if I did they would be on an entirely different continent.


    • Hello Georgia πŸ˜€ Of course. I expected that to be the case. Just my luck !! Ralph xox ❀


    • Hi SC πŸ˜€ Ooops, sorry !! Slap my wrist. Ralph xox ❀ (Men are from Mars you know πŸ˜‰ )


      • Well, if you’re on Mars, Rome … if you are away, fortunately, not as much as Venus (sorry my English is very basic)


      • You may comment in your own language SC. I do have Google Translate. To me your English is perfect πŸ˜€


    • Hi Etink πŸ˜€ Great ! I am sure you will point out to her why business is bad πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀


  4. To answer your question, “Yes – all women are wacky!” You can’t live with us and you can’t live without us. πŸ™‚


    • Hi Celeste πŸ˜€ I’ll just go and shoot myself then πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀


    • Hello Indah πŸ˜€ I really wished that was the case, but when I told her by message that I lived in Spain. Nothing, nada, no reply. So, I think she was a business woman. Hugs. Ralph xox ❀


    • Hi Lottie πŸ˜€ Do I get my shotgun out and take pot shots at these little winkers ? Time for one of your funny posts my friend. Ralph xox ❀


  5. Perhaps she was planning to send her private jet to pick you up… πŸ˜‰
    xx Saludos y Abrazos xx


    • Hi RoSy πŸ˜€ That’ll be the day of all days my friend. Lots of hugs. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  6. Rome it’s about 6 hours from my place, shall I check her ………….hahaha, noo have fun dear Ralph and who knows you meet the real one πŸ™‚ !


    • Hi Serach πŸ˜€ Yes. That’s a good idea. Check her out !! LOL
      I AM having fun and as you are not free I’ll have to go for second best then πŸ˜‰
      Goodnight my friend. Ralph xox ❀


      • Hahaha…………I’m so sorry I wish I could be the one but at this moment my heart I have given to someone else ! Ralph don’t worry, sooner or later you will meet some perfect lovely lady πŸ™‚ !


      • Hi Serach πŸ˜€

        I know you’re taken ! Yes. Hopefully sooner or later.

        Do you know what ? I have a 4 1/2 hour stopover at Rome Airport on my way to Jerusalem. I’ll wave to you as I land and take off !! Take care my friend. Ralph xox ❀


      • That would be wonderful…………… I shall stare at the sky all that day, doesn’t matter if my neck will be in a bad shape, hahaha, thanks lovely Ralph πŸ™‚ ! Xxx


      • I have sent you an email and received this:-
        “In questo momento non ci sono ma ti risponderΓ² appena possibile !”.
        There is a reason in it why you won’t have to damage your neck Serach xox


      • Noo Ralph I received your message and I answer you already, and I would love to see you really, but I promise nothing ! Kisses SΓ©rach πŸ™‚ !


      • I never really expect to meet to you Serach. Just protecting you from a sore neck πŸ˜‰ xox


    • Hi Beth πŸ˜€ Oh brilliant !! I was just about to shut down for the night and your comment hit my Inbox. I laughed so much it woke me up !! My imagination juices are flowing now. I’ll be up all night !! Thank you my friend. Sooo funny !! Ralph xox πŸ˜€ ❀


  7. Ralph, you should look at this from a positive side. You should consider yourself as a very attractive (whatever you put into your profile that makes it so) and lucky man. There are women forgetting where they are and want to come meeting you right away πŸ™‚


  8. You? Shocked?
    Oh this must be a rare occurrence!
    So glad I was around, albeit a little delayed, for the momentous occasion lol
    I can only imagine the look on your face when you read that πŸ˜‰


    • *shock* (CeeLee’s here !!)
      Hi CeeLee πŸ˜€ It wasn’t you that contacted me from Rome, was it ? I wouldn’t put it past you πŸ˜‰ The look on my face was just like a smiley shock. 😯 Just like that !! Ralph xox ❀


  9. Wow, that was quite an opening line. I don’t see the problem, honey. I left my bike in your shed last night and you may borrow it to go see your lady. If you go to Barcelona you can join the Great Barcelona to Rome bike ride. It only takes about 29 days and you can see a lot of great stuff along the way. πŸ˜› Love and kisses. ❀


    • Hi Elizabeth πŸ˜€ Thanks for the bike. I’m at the pyramids in Egypt now. Do I turn right or left for the Great Wall of China ? A woman told me Rome is near to the Wall πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀


    • Hi Lumar πŸ˜€ Things are a bit quiet on the dating scene at the moment, but, knowing me, something strange will happen. Have a lovely day. Ralph xox ❀


  10. I completely lost it and dissolved into giggles at “not even by a hedgehog.”

    I love your writing. Thank you for sharing.

    Oh, and to answer your question, yes…most women are a little wacky. πŸ˜‰


    • Hi Sarah πŸ˜€ I do hope that you have found it now. I would hate to be blamed for you “losing it !” Have you looked down the back of the sofa ? Some men are a little wacky too. Now I wonder who that can be ? Have a great weekend. Ralph xox ❀


  11. I don’t have a hedgehog, but I am not seriously considering getting one. “lol” _Resa xo ❀


    • Hi Resa πŸ˜€ Probably too much of a problem kissing a hedgehog. Worse than a two day stubble πŸ˜‰ lol Ralph xox ❀


  12. I hope you checked to see if maybe she had an aunt, cousin, or friend living in your neck of the woods.


    • Hi Mary πŸ˜€ I didn’t have a chance. Once I told her that I lived in Spain. Contact was lost. I’ll ask around the village. Someone will know the woman from Rome. They are all inter-related. Keeping it in the family so to speak πŸ˜‰
      Lots of hugs. Ralph xox ❀


  13. a friendly blog matey sent me here in hopes i would enjoy your online dating experiences. i too have had numerous popup adventures, some more glorious than others. Generally, many are “targeting males” to separate them from their money. This is called “subscription,” with the ensuing “I can’t live without this addictive behavior” at a cost of upwards to $39.99 in US dollars or euros. With all this in mind, I innvite you to come to my blog for similar misadventures in cyberland.


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