Hello Beautiful !! Ralph’s Online Dating Mayhem

I am having as much fun with this online dating than in here. Are all women so wacky ?

separator

I was quietly minding my own business tapping away at the keyboard here in southern Spain. A comment I think. Then up popped a message for me out of the blue from one of the 2 dating websites. So I left off writing the comment, opened up the inbox in the website and read this message.

Hello Beautiful !! I would love to come around tonight to comfort you.

*shock* I have not been propositioned like this by anyone for years, not even by a hedgehog. In fact, not even since Helen of Troy dropped her toga. (Now that’s another story !). You know, the one who’s beauty sunk a thousand ships. That one !!

I looked again at the message and the photo of the pretty woman’s face and thought to myself, why not ? Live a little Ralph !! I was just about to reply and *shock* the message came from a woman in …….. wait for it ……….Β  from >>>>>

ROME, Italy !!!

Oh boy ! Are women geographically inept ?

separator

Has anybody got a hedgehog ??

(to be continued. Is nothing simple with me ??)

separator

Ralph xox ❀

separator

63 Comments on “Hello Beautiful !! Ralph’s Online Dating Mayhem

  1. Hahahaha, Ralph, you have no idea how intertaining your posts are to me πŸ˜€ I have no doubt that you will have many more adventures like this…

    Like

    • Hi Ivy πŸ˜€ We’ve got to laugh about these incidents. I just can’t take this dating thing seriously anymore. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  2. Ralph, dare I suggest these ‘ladies’ may not be seeking romance, but clients….It’s early days! Fingers crossed πŸ™‚

    Like

    • Hello Wendy πŸ˜€ I realised that business was behind the message, So funny though. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hello Georgia πŸ˜€ Of course. I expected that to be the case. Just my luck !! Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hi SC πŸ˜€ Ooops, sorry !! Slap my wrist. Ralph xox ❀ (Men are from Mars you know πŸ˜‰ )

      Like

      • Well, if you’re on Mars, Rome … if you are away, fortunately, not as much as Venus (sorry my English is very basic)

        Like

      • You may comment in your own language SC. I do have Google Translate. To me your English is perfect πŸ˜€

        Like

    • Hi Etink πŸ˜€ Great ! I am sure you will point out to her why business is bad πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  3. To answer your question, “Yes – all women are wacky!” You can’t live with us and you can’t live without us. πŸ™‚

    Like

    • Hello Indah πŸ˜€ I really wished that was the case, but when I told her by message that I lived in Spain. Nothing, nada, no reply. So, I think she was a business woman. Hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hi Lottie πŸ˜€ Do I get my shotgun out and take pot shots at these little winkers ? Time for one of your funny posts my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  4. Perhaps she was planning to send her private jet to pick you up… πŸ˜‰
    xx Saludos y Abrazos xx

    Like

    • Hi RoSy πŸ˜€ That’ll be the day of all days my friend. Lots of hugs. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

  5. Rome it’s about 6 hours from my place, shall I check her ………….hahaha, noo have fun dear Ralph and who knows you meet the real one πŸ™‚ !

    Like

    • Hi Serach πŸ˜€ Yes. That’s a good idea. Check her out !! LOL
      I AM having fun and as you are not free I’ll have to go for second best then πŸ˜‰
      Goodnight my friend. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

      • Hahaha…………I’m so sorry I wish I could be the one but at this moment my heart I have given to someone else ! Ralph don’t worry, sooner or later you will meet some perfect lovely lady πŸ™‚ !

        Like

      • Hi Serach πŸ˜€

        I know you’re taken ! Yes. Hopefully sooner or later.

        Do you know what ? I have a 4 1/2 hour stopover at Rome Airport on my way to Jerusalem. I’ll wave to you as I land and take off !! Take care my friend. Ralph xox ❀

        Like

      • That would be wonderful…………… I shall stare at the sky all that day, doesn’t matter if my neck will be in a bad shape, hahaha, thanks lovely Ralph πŸ™‚ ! Xxx

        Like

      • I have sent you an email and received this:-
        “In questo momento non ci sono ma ti risponderΓ² appena possibile !”.
        There is a reason in it why you won’t have to damage your neck Serach xox

        Like

      • Noo Ralph I received your message and I answer you already, and I would love to see you really, but I promise nothing ! Kisses SΓ©rach πŸ™‚ !

        Like

      • I never really expect to meet to you Serach. Just protecting you from a sore neck πŸ˜‰ xox

        Like

    • Hi Beth πŸ˜€ Oh brilliant !! I was just about to shut down for the night and your comment hit my Inbox. I laughed so much it woke me up !! My imagination juices are flowing now. I’ll be up all night !! Thank you my friend. Sooo funny !! Ralph xox πŸ˜€ ❀

      Like

  6. Ralph, you should look at this from a positive side. You should consider yourself as a very attractive (whatever you put into your profile that makes it so) and lucky man. There are women forgetting where they are and want to come meeting you right away πŸ™‚

    Like

  7. You? Shocked?
    Oh this must be a rare occurrence!
    So glad I was around, albeit a little delayed, for the momentous occasion lol
    I can only imagine the look on your face when you read that πŸ˜‰

    Like

    • *shock* (CeeLee’s here !!)
      Hi CeeLee πŸ˜€ It wasn’t you that contacted me from Rome, was it ? I wouldn’t put it past you πŸ˜‰ The look on my face was just like a smiley shock. 😯 Just like that !! Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  8. Wow, that was quite an opening line. I don’t see the problem, honey. I left my bike in your shed last night and you may borrow it to go see your lady. If you go to Barcelona you can join the Great Barcelona to Rome bike ride. It only takes about 29 days and you can see a lot of great stuff along the way. πŸ˜› Love and kisses. ❀

    Like

    • Hi Elizabeth πŸ˜€ Thanks for the bike. I’m at the pyramids in Egypt now. Do I turn right or left for the Great Wall of China ? A woman told me Rome is near to the Wall πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hi Lumar πŸ˜€ Things are a bit quiet on the dating scene at the moment, but, knowing me, something strange will happen. Have a lovely day. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  9. I completely lost it and dissolved into giggles at “not even by a hedgehog.”

    I love your writing. Thank you for sharing.

    Oh, and to answer your question, yes…most women are a little wacky. πŸ˜‰

    Like

    • Hi Sarah πŸ˜€ I do hope that you have found it now. I would hate to be blamed for you “losing it !” Have you looked down the back of the sofa ? Some men are a little wacky too. Now I wonder who that can be ? Have a great weekend. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  10. I don’t have a hedgehog, but I am not seriously considering getting one. “lol” _Resa xo ❀

    Like

    • Hi Resa πŸ˜€ Probably too much of a problem kissing a hedgehog. Worse than a two day stubble πŸ˜‰ lol Ralph xox ❀

      Like

    • Hi Mary πŸ˜€ I didn’t have a chance. Once I told her that I lived in Spain. Contact was lost. I’ll ask around the village. Someone will know the woman from Rome. They are all inter-related. Keeping it in the family so to speak πŸ˜‰
      Lots of hugs. Ralph xox ❀

      Like

  11. a friendly blog matey sent me here in hopes i would enjoy your online dating experiences. i too have had numerous popup adventures, some more glorious than others. Generally, many are “targeting males” to separate them from their money. This is called “subscription,” with the ensuing “I can’t live without this addictive behavior” at a cost of upwards to $39.99 in US dollars or euros. With all this in mind, I innvite you to come to my blog for similar misadventures in cyberland.

    Like

This is the best bit. Your comments !!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Jiggly Bits

...because life is funny.

Liberty On the Lighter Side

...sometimes lighthearted but always delighting in the Light...

the incurable dreamer

writing my way from misery to bliss, one word at a time

My Hearing Loss Story

This is my story about my experience of sudden sensorineural hearing loss and how it affects my life.

Blog Woman!!! - Life Uncategorized

Mother, Nehiyaw, Metis, & career communicator. This is my collection of opinions, stories, and the occasional rise to, or fall from, challenge. In other words, it's my party, I can fun if I want to. .................................................................. Artwork by aaronpaquette.net

The Crazy Bag Lady @BulanLifestyle.com

Welcome to my Art Blog and follow my adventure. Bohemian artist who loves to travel and draw.

comeagainblog

The life of a waitress…in all its glory.

Surprising Lives

Discover Life, Incredible People, Places and Our World!

Out an' About

Loving Life On and Off the Tracks

MagickMermaid

Day-Dreamer, Moon-Gazer, Confirmed Contrarian, Traveler, Artist, Frustrated Cartoonist, Perennial Fish Out of Water

Photobooth Journal

A life in a photobooth.

Skinny and Single

Single and Over 40 and Not Suicidal About It

Cruise Stories

cruise ship adventures

In the Net! - Stories of Life and Narcissistic Survival

This is my story and I'm sticking to it!

Musings of PuppyDoc

Poetry & Medicine

brushes and papers

my learning journey

Marsha Ingrao

Traveling & Blogging Near and Far

dreamshadow59

A great WordPress.com site

BRILLIANCE WITHIN

Inspiring the WOW factor in life and business

bloginhotpants

Mishaps with men, mental health, BBC and drugs

Arcilla y fuego

Una visiΓ³n sobre el complejo y apasionante mundo de la cerΓ‘mica

Manny's Blog

a blog for kids and kids at heart

witlessdatingafterfifty

Relationships reveal our hearts.

Queen's end

The Fifth Corner of Life

Twisted Gypsy

Photography, travel,art,craft,writing and all things creative...

What Willow Thinks

Lover of All Things Wordy Nerdy and Introverty

fashion with compassion

fashionable over 50

MaryRowen.com

Books, musings, news...

My Favourite Pastime

Food, Travel and Eating Out

An Unexpected Life Chosen

A freelance writer, clairvoyant medium, credit manager, chakra meditation teacher, traveller, animal lover, past-life healer, and a change advocate.........having walked many paths, I ask; did I really sign up for this?

Significant Anonymity

Life as I see it: I'm a Tree-hugging Publishing Consultant, Small Business Mentor, Practicing Writer, Cat Rescuer, DIY Addict, and Beach Dreamer

Graffiti Lux and Murals

Luxuriating in Ephemeral Art

Quirky Books

Read the difference

larisanineldesignillustration.wordpress.com/

Illustration is the passion of my life!

Englishman in Italy

An Englishman, his Sicilian wife and an Italian / English Dictionary

Once Upon Your Prime

Where You Live Happily Ever Laughter!

shehanne moore

Smexy Historical Romance

indahs: dive, travel & photography

cities - cultures - ocean - marine life

BroadBlogs

A broad blogs broadly on women’s & men's psychology: sex, relationships, equality

Art Gowns

The Art of Glamorous Fantasy

Lottie Nevin - The Rioja Diaries

Uncorked tales from Andalucia.

Heila

Refining Life

I didn't have my glasses on....

A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.

Hello World

Walk along with me

%d bloggers like this: