I Saw Spots And Took In 25 Goblins

I saw spots !!

One million volts !!
One million volts !!

Last Tuesday  my friend David dropped Debbie, my Interpreter, and myself, on time, at the Emergency Dept. of Ronda Hospital, Andalucia, Spain. Debbie and I hung around in the freezing “car park” of the waiting room before being guided into reception where a hospital wristband was wrapped around my wrist and we were shown into a side ward.

Angela, my pretty Neurologist arrived with a just as pretty student nurse (similar to photo).

Credit: Diamond Designs
Credit: Diamond Designs

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After signing the “We can do what we like with you” form, the student nurse put a drip tube in my arm, then Angela positioned me in the foetal position so that she could give me a lumbar puncture. Oh no !!

Pulling up my shirt, swabbing my lower back, I felt the 2″ needle enter my spine. Then ZAP !! A million volts hit my spine !! Four times she tried to extract fluid. Four times the million volts made me grit my teeth and sweat poured from my forehead. 

“I give up !!” sighed Angela, “Sit on the edge of the bed and bend forward as far as you can.”

The young nurse, in front of me, helped  me into position. Twice 100,000 volts went through me which  wasn’t too bad. Huh !!! I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes. “Happy. Happy.” Angela suddenly exclaimed, ” Get me a gauze and plaster nurse !!”. Opening my eyes, all I saw was white with black spots about 6 inches from my face. I suddenly realised that I had a great view of the nurse’s knickers through her almost transparent uniform slacks as she was bending over to get the items from a low shelf. Oh, the pleasures of a lumbar puncture !!

This is what I saw, but had more of a curve to it !!
This is similar to what I saw, but had more of a curve to it !!

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At this point, my interpreter left in tears and I never saw her again !! Followed closely by my Neurologist and the student nurse. “Can I have my sweet now ?” I pleaded. Angela laughed, ” No !!” she said, as she waved goodbye.

I was left on my own for 2 hours in this cold room until my ward bed was ready, during which time a nurse came in with a square metre of blue fabric with tapes sewn on it. “Get undressed and put this on !” she commanded. I refused as it was cold and I had my pyjamas in my bag. She went away in a huff !!

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I took in 25 goblins

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Two days in bed. Nothing happening. Little or no sleep during the day from 6am to midnight as the staff had great pleasure in coming in every 10 minutes with food, temperature taken, blood pressure, cleaning the tube in my arm, tending to the patient in the next bed (who constantly had visitors). I struck up a friendship with Ella, the 35 year old daughter of the old man in the other bed in my room 339. In fact, the family were lovely and helpful to helpless me, as were the staff. I did have visitors, Toni & Pedro (my neighbours) and Hilda & Louise (friends) who gave me a small birthday party while I was in bed.

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The pump
The pump
A bottle of goblins
A bottle of goblins

Suddenly, at 6pm last Thursday I was surrounded by a group of nurses. I don’t know what a group of nurses are called. A nooky of nurses perhaps !! They brought with them pipes. bottles and a pump. One nurse who spoke English said that I was to have 5 bottles of (for you Spanish medical geeks) 50mg/ml solution of Inmunoglobulina humana normal (IgIV). I can’t even say it, yet alone type it !! So I have named it “goblin”. And once the 5 bottles of goblins were administered I could go home.

WRONG !!

Over 3 hours later and me dying for a pee, the nurse came in with a downcast look and told me that I can’t go home, I will have to stay another 4 days and take in 5 bottles of goblins every day. A total of 25 !! Oh no !!

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Last night I arrived home. Pedro had lit my log burner and my 2 cats were ecstatic to see me after 6 days. Oh, it was so nice to be back home !!

This morning I had a hospital report to give to my local GP doctor. I couldn’t have put my name on the list as I arrived home last night and I could not go to the town hall at 12 noon yesterday to get a number to be seen. I had a 3 hour wait before entering his surgery. The doctor spent a few angry moments telling me off for not having a number. If I ever have another report to give him, I won’t do it !!

My hands are better but still have a long way to go before the shaking stops completely.

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Did you have a really boring week like mine ??

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Ralph xox 🙂

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96 Comments on “I Saw Spots And Took In 25 Goblins

  1. Hey Ralph,

    sorry to read about your plight. On your birthday too! Those bottles of goblins don’t come cheap you know. Keep bloggin so we know you are alright. Get better soon.

    Bill

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    • Hey Bill 😀 How are you keeping ? I expect that the bottles are expensive but luckily I live in a country with a National Health system which means that everything that has happened to me in hospital was free…..goblins as well. Ralph 😀

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  2. Sounds like you need another visit from nursey 😉

    Hope everything is on the mend now

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    • Good morning Al 😀 Shame I don’t have a nursey, but if I did I am sure that she would be a matron Hattie Jacques 😉 Ralph 😀
      .

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  3. What a very weird way to spend your birthday, Ralph! I hope all the discomfort, pain and indignity was worth it, and not just for the sight of the young nurse’s rear view. 🙂 Take care and do get better very soon. xx

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    • Hi Sylvia 😀 You should know me by now that weird is my comfort zone 😉 I mean, to open my eyes and have a young female’s butt in my face after so much pain, was weird !! Ralph xox 😀

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  4. Oh, you’re home again, with your warm fire and your pussies! I sure hope those goblins do the job for you, Ralphie.

    Hmmm, that nurse I spotted in your slide show doesn’t look like he’d wear panties with polka dots. But, these days, who knows?

    Thank you for taking the time to let your adoring fans know what happened, in your usual humourous manner.

    Love and warm bed-pans from your personal Florence Nightingale. Mwah, mwah, mwah. xxx Yvonne

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    • Hi Yvonne 😀 It’s great to be home !! That male nurse is probably wearing stockings, I daren’t ask him 😉 Big kiss to my favourite nurse. Ralph xox 😀

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  5. No doubt at all, nurses are better for our health than doctors – It is also easier to hear our hearts beat and easier to measure our blood pressure when a cute nurse hold our hand – isn’t there such thing as visiting nurses in your area, when people leave the hospitals..?

    So lovely birthday photos… 🙂 🙂

    Wonderful to see you on WP again
    – if “anotherday2paradise” haven’t made that comment – so I would… 😉 😉

    Best wishes and take care, my friend… 🙂

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    • Hi Drake 😀 It seems that you have had/or is having a lot of experience at playing “Doctors & Nurses” 😉 I feel so much better after reading your comment. Ralph 😀

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  6. Oh! My! God! I don’t know if I feel more sorry for you, or I’m scared to death about you! This amounts and situations going on are crazy! Well, at least reading them from your perspective 😉 . Anyway, get back home healthy!! I miss you! I send you a big hug & wish I could also drop by to keep you company for a while. You look so poor with all that medical equipment around…

    I’m glad to hear that you see some positive changes. I really hope you’ll come out of there fully cured!

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    • OMG !! OMG !! You’ve got me going as well Julita 😆 I must admit I feel so much better. I just hope I don’t turn into Lou Ferrigno’s Incredible Hulk 😉 Missed you my friend. Ralph xoox 😀
      .

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    • Thank you my friend 😀 I didn’t say anything as you might have given me a diamond mine for my birthday 😉 xox
      ..

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  7. hey Ralph, sorry to hear you’ve been in hospital, glad you are home again and wishing you a speedy recovery. I see you were followed by paparazzi in hospital who took lots of photos! joking aside, chin up and keep warm with log burner and cats. take care

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    • Oh, it’s great to be home away from the prying eyes of the Press. There’s just no privacy for such an unrecognised medical star, is there ? 😉 Ralph xox 😀

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    • Hi Sheri 😀 I suppose it is years of stress in a Hogwarts type school, the military and contract work in the Middle East that has taught me to have fun whatever difficulties I have to face. So the same with this hospital visit by having fun with the staff while in pain or waiting hours for the next treatment. Have a lovely day my good friend. Ralph xox 😀

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  8. Oh, I missed YOU! Welcome home. Glad the present I sent made it….lumbar needle and polka dot panties. I am a little sore that you didn’t wear them. 😉
    Enjoy your beautiful abode. 8)8)

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    • I missed you too Katie !! Oh !! Thanks a lot for the needle. Just what I needed. You can have it back now 😉 AND I would be a little sore if I wore an itsy-weeny yellow polka dot bikini. I can see a YouTube video coming on !! Ralph xox 😀
      .

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  9. I know it wasn’t the great experience you had perhaps just few moments 🙂 But, you made it sounds like you had a good time. I like it. More importantly, you are getting better. XX

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    • Hi YC 😀 Thank you so much for your welcome and supportive comment. I am feeling better though tired. Have a great day. Ralph 😀

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    • Hello Claire 😀 Hehe, maybe I should redefine boring, maybe I should have said “a relaxing, tranquil vacation” 😉
      Ooops. I read chimp, not champ !! Silly me !! Ralph xox 😀

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    • Oh. You are so California Paulette 😉 Thank you so much for your kind words. Big hug back. Ralph xox 😀

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  10. i am so sorry you had to endure all of this ralph, at least there is no doubt that this week will be better for you. hugs )

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    • That’s okay Beth. I’m home now and I hope we both have a good week. Ralph xox 😀

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    • I missed you too my friend !! I may have to have more goblins but as an outpatient, it all depends on my next visit on 27Jan14 to the Neurologist. See what she says. Take care Gallivanta. Ralph xox 😀

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    • Hi Yessie 😀 I really love your comment. Thank you so much. I am hoping that you are well and having a brilliant week. Ralph xox 😀

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  11. Oh Ralph. So sorry to hear you had such a horrible time in the hospital. I’m glad you’re back home with your cats. Hope you have a Christmas filled with laughter and a New Year free of health woes.

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    • Oh Julie, I did miss you. Everyone is so nice, especially you. Thank you. Big hug. Ralph xox 😀

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    • Thanks Wendy 😀 The goblins are giving me a good workover. I feel better but tired. My concentration is a bit lacking today……..who are you ? 😉 hehe !! Ralph xox 😀

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      • You’re welcome, my friend!

        Well…well…well…since you are still having enough concentration to share your humour, I guess everything should be fine over there…anyway, do take care and be well always, okie?

        Cheers!! 😀

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      • Okie dokie !! Thanks for the pick-me-up this morning. Your reply has gone down well with my first coffee of the day. 😀 xox

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  12. Heya there, Captain Ralph! This is just insane … I step out of the blogging world for a couple of weeks and come back to find you in a hospital! I hope you’ll get well very soon! I had no idea …
    I’m wishing you all the best and a happy belated Birthday 🙂 I hope you don’t have to go through such horrible times again!
    All the best Xxx Cpt. Scarlett

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    • 2300 Stardate 18/12/13
      Message begins :
      To Captain Scarlett, Shuttle design.
      From Captain Ralph, HMS Bluefish Way.
      I have just received your coded Delta Echo. I have just departed from Space Dock Major Repair, 6 days of probe insertion and Program Goblin installed. I am at this time on a test run at our Range around Planet Andalucia.
      On a personal note, thank you and if we ever do meet as starships in the night in some distant galaxy I’ll buy you dinner.
      Uh oh. Problems with the ship’s cats. Got to go. 😀
      Signed: Big hug Captain Ralph xox
      Message ends …………..

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  13. OMG dear Ralph, what an ordeal! And there I go pitying myself for the cortison shot that I got into my right shoulder tendon two days ago and that made me cry out with pain… nothing compared to what you went through. I’m so glad you’re back home and hope that you’ll feel better each day. HUGS!!!! Heila

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    • Oh Heila !! Your shot is so important to you. How you felt and feel right now should be your major concern at this time. I read your last post and I am worried about both of you, your health, dampness and being cold. If there is anything I can do to help, just say. ralph.whillier@gmail.com . So don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Big hugs. Ralph xoxox 😀

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  14. Hi Ralph! Happy birthday, and sorry to hear about your rough week! I do love your attitude–you make anything sound like an adventure. I’m glad to see you were living it up on your birthday (despite the awkward circumstances)! Take care and feel better soon. xxo HD

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    • Hello my favourite Hot Dish 😀 I must thank you for reading and commenting on another adventure in which I was stabbed 6 times and overrun by goblins in a foreign land, starring Andalucia Ralph and Polka Dot. 😉 Big hug. Ralph xox 😀

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  15. Welcome home, MFR. I’m so sorry about your boring week. I tried to call you, but my cell phone didn’t recognize your number, so I guess I cant make international calls. I love the birthday party celebration at the hospital. Only you could be so loved, Ralph. You can never be bored or boring if you can turn that ordeal into a pair of pokadot knicker story. Love you much, MFR. xox Get well. 🙂 RVBFM 🙂

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    • Hello MVBFM 😀
      I really, really did try to comment on your blog but that blooming WP snow sends my laptop crazy. The cooling fans turn so fast that my laptop almost took off like a helicopter. I couldn’t scroll properly on your post and commenting was impossible as it took 15 seconds for the letter I typed to appear. I gave up. This is happening to me on all blogs with snow including Ute’s which I typed blind in a comment, Bumble Files and Sweet Rains so far. So I’ll read your posts again next summer 😉
      Sorry to hear about your cell phone …… calling me from Alcatraz ?? 😉
      Thanks for your lovely comment my friend. Ralph xox 😀

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  16. Happy birthday my lovely Ralph. I am glad you had a boring run of the mill week. You must be better to be back on WP or just missing us ;p xx

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    • Hi M’lady 😀 Yes, soooooo boring, in more ways than one 😉 The only reason that I have returned to blogging is that I missed you. I missed you all !! Have a lovely evening my friend. Ralph xox 😀

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    • Hi PN 😀 Okay, I’ll keep blogging. I wonder why you mentioned that …. hmmm ….. perhaps Mrs Sensible wants you to come over now and again. It’s her way of telling you how wonderful your blog is compared to mine 😉 She’s right you know !! Ralph 😀

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      • Not true, I only mentioned it, because sometimes when life is stressful blogging is the last thing we want to do. If it is warm in Spain I will pack my flip flops today

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      • Hehe !! I was only joking PN !! Just keeping the conversation going. 😀
        But you do make a good point about stress. On my return from hospital all I wanted to do was chill out on the sofa, but housework,cats, log burner was constant. On top of which, blogging, a full Inbox, tons of comments to answer and a post to write almost overwhelmed me. Then it became cloudy and my solar panel electric element is found to be not working properly. so no hot water for days. It’s the first time it’s had a work out since August when it was installed. The electricians are coming this morning. So I could succumb to stress and retreat into my shell, but no, as I find blogging very therapeutic though tough going initially. I’m down to 3 comments to answer and 53 in my Inbox. So I’m a happy bunny.

        Oh, it’s more flippers than flip-flop weather 😀
        Have a great day my friend. Blog on !!!

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  17. Rlaph, I hope these goblins are helping in time. I have sent something but a bit later as I knew you were in hospital, it should still arrive before Christmas though! Belated happy birthday to you, what a different party to last years. Good to see you back, still worth all day s if it helps what they do to you!

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    • Oh, that is really sweet of you Ute to send me something. I will look forward into receiving it. Not a bottle of goblins I hope 😉
      Yes, it was definitely a different party but I did enjoy the thought that Hilda and Louise put into it.
      I really do hope that these goblins work. As each day goes by I do feel better.
      Please read the comment reply on this post that I made to Marsha about WP snow on your blog. Big problems for me !!
      You must be on holiday soon. I do hope that you and the boys have a great Christmas rest. You probably need it.
      Big hugs. Ralph xoxox 😀

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      • Sorry , I do love that snow….. 🙂 I am rather stressed out at he moment and work very long hours, but soon … all I want to do is sleep! Zzzzzz

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      • That’s okay Ute, I understand. Your room and circular chair here are what you need. You can buy those joke spectacles with eyes painted on them ….. just snooze at work…..they won’t notice 😉 😆 Look after yourself. I’m worried about you ! xox

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  18. ¡Feliz cumpleaños!
    That was quite a birthday celebration Ralph!
    So nice that your friends went to visit you on your special day.
    Glad that you are back home. Hope your recovery goes well & you’re back to you normal self in no time. 😉
    xx Saludos y Abrazos xx

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    • Hi RoSy 😀 Thank you for another special, uplifting comment my friend. Yes, it will be nice to get back to normal, drive again, walk easier, write and be able to pick things up. Getting there but still a way to go yet. I do hope you are fine and happy. Ralph xox 😀

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  19. A nooky of nurses? Haha – you have a way with words! Sounds like you’ve had one crazy week dude (hmmm – not sure if I’m liking the whole dude thing). I’m glad that you’re back home, but I must say that you seemed to handle your hospital stay very well. You were smiling in almost all of your photos!! Oh, and happy belated birthday! Celeste 🙂

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    • Good morning my friend 😀
      Well, what would you call a group of nurses ? I really haven’t a clue !!
      Yes, dude is not me. how about Don (without the Juan 😉 )
      I’ve had enough of these medical posts. I have something quite different to publish this weekend …… watch this space …. well, not THIS space 😉
      Big hugs. Ralph xox 😀

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  20. Hi Ralph, I am glad I made some time to log in. However, sorry that you had such a crazy week and that you spent your birthday in the hospital. I am glad you are feeling better though! Well, Happy Birthday!!! I am sorry that I missed it… I was out of the blog sphere for a few weeks remolding my apt. Hope you have a blessed and healthy Holiday Season!!! take care :D.

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    • Hi Patricia 😀 Sorry I was so long in replying. I can really understand what you have been going through with the apartment. I hope it’s finished for Christmas…..this year !! 😀 Your comment was lovely…..thanks. Ralph xox 😀

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  21. Dearest friend Ralph,

    Oh dear! I am so sorry to hear of your hospital adventure, or should I say, misadventure. And on your birthday too!

    I hope next time they give you “happy pills” so at least you’ll see “happy goblins.”

    Sending you lots of healing thoughts and hugs across the miles.

    Take care my friend.

    Your pal across the miles,
    Nancy

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    • Hi Nancy 😀 What a brilliant comment. Thank you so much dear friend. Big hugs from happy, happy Ralph xox 😀

      (the men in white coats can take me away now 😉 ) …..yes I can see happy goblins….hehe

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  22. Sorry to hear about your adventure in the hospital and on your birthday.Never a dull day with you. Happy belated birthday.

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    • Hi Valentina 😀 It should be a dull day with me every day !! Heck, I live in a sleepy mountain village, an hour from the nearest big town, where a goat escaping onto the road is a major event !! Yet, things happen. I think that my heavenly guides set things up for me to blog about 😉 Happy Friday. Ralph xox 😀

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  23. Ralph what a adventure there in the hospital, you were very brave ! By the way………..that mask is great on your face and you have very lovely friends for to organize you a party ! Happy birthday friend and take care 🙂 ! ❤

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  24. Ralph, sorry to hear you were in the hospital so long, but I’m glad you’re home. And I’m glad you had a happy birthday with your friends. Here’s wishing you a healthy and less ‘boring’ New Year!

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    • Thanks Mary 😀 I don’t think I’m cured. I can walk better but my hands are still a great problem for me. I hope that you have a fantastic 2014. Hugs. Ralph xox 😀

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  25. Happy belated birthday, Ralph! So glad you’re doing better. That was one heck of an ordeal at the hospital!! You continually amaze me with your upbeat and humorous attitude 😀 Sending you my hugs & warmest wishes for a wonderful 2014!

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  26. Hi Abby 😀 Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I had totally forgotten what I went through until I reread it just now and it brought back some memories, all good though 😀 In just over a fortnight I will be seeing the young neurologist again. So I had better prepare myself for whatever ordeal she has planned for me in the future. 😉
    I hope you are having a special, happy and wonderful 2014 my friend. Ralph xox 😀

    Like

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