Dear Maw, Paw and Kiddos,
Ralph here !!
Yippee !! It’s Halloween evening !! Time for you to have some fun !!
Got your costume ready to put on ? Great !! You have pestered your Maw & Paw for weeks now to buy you the cheap plastic Zombie outfit Jack.
And Jill !! Your witch’s costume fell to bits when you tore it out of the plastic bag but Maw repaired it with duck tape. You won’t notice where she repaired it. Off you go and put it on while Maw gets the face paint ready.
Dressed ? You both look fantastic. You want more blood on your face Jack ? That’s the idea. The more the merrier. Scare the living daylights out of everyone. Oh. Your gang are all going out as Zombies. They all have the same costume as you ? Okay, you got the idea when you sat through all the Zombie movies that Paw watches. He loves them doesn’t he ?
Jill !! Your nose is bent. Oh. It’s meant to be like that. Let Maw paint loads of wrinkles and warts on your pretty young face.
The two of you and Maw had a great time cutting the pumpkin. Jack, you threw all the flesh around the kitchen screaming that you were tearing the brains out of your sister. What fun you had. Why are you crying Jill ? Oh. You hated Jack tearing your brains out. Stop fighting you two !!
Help Maw light the candle in the pumpkin. No. Not with lighter fluid Jack !! The pumpkin farmers did well this year so did the credit card companies, not forgetting the stores making a fortune selling trash and candy, just for you to have a fun evening.
You two Kiddos off out now ? Why were you in the kitchen, Jack ? Oh. You have a box of raw eggs and a bag of flour. Great. Oh. They are for that nasty man Ralph who says “Happy Christmas. Every day should be Christmas Day and Halloween is bad”. You are going to do what you did in previous years. Throw the raw eggs that will trickle down his balcony wall and front door. Then pour flour in his letter box because he doesn’t understand that Trick or Treat is training for the Kiddos to become adult extortionists. Give Jack something nice or something nasty will happen to Ralph. He is no fun !!
Don’t forget Kiddos to get as much candy as you can from the neighbours especially the pensioners who really can’t afford candy let alone pay their bills. If they offer a basket of candy, take more than one, be greedy. If you don’t like what candy is offered, give the pensioners the Ralph treatment.
Oh. Really ? Some pensioners switch off their lights and hide until your gang has passed. That’s not nice. Give them the Ralph treatment anyway. Oh. You’ve run out of eggs and flour Jack. That’s okay, set light to their letter boxes. Well, you are unsupervised, so you and your gang can go on the rampage, Jack.
It’s just a bit of fun, isn’t it !!
Happy Christmas !!
Ralph xox 🙂
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