Driven To Distraction

Yes !! There is a place called Distraction on Google Earth near Lake Michigan. But I don’t want to go there !!

Driving me to Distraction !! No way !! (Google Earth)
Driving me to Distraction !! No way !! (Google Earth)


My little car and I parted company last year. I had her for 19 years and she was still like new when I let her go.

My Rover Metro 2nd day in Spain May 2002
My Rover Metro 2nd day in Spain May 2002. UK plates and special black blinkers over the headlights so they dipped the other way.


My Rover Metro just before giving it away June 2012
My Rover Metro just before giving it away June 2012 with Spanish plates


After Judith died of cancer in March last year my health went haywire. My hands shook, my balance went wonky (like being drunk without having a drink). But worst of all was the soles of my feet became very tender and pushing on the pedals of the car really hurt. I thought, my friends thought, even my local doctor thought that I had Parkinson’s.

So I had to consider my future and whether I should carry on driving. A car is a must in the mountains of southern Spain. I can get the basic shopping locally, but there is always something out of the ordinary to do. Government personal paperwork screw ups, special batteries for whatever, and so on.

IF I had Parkinson’s then I knew my condition would deteriorate, my driving would be affected and I may end up not only with feet that hurt but possibly in a crumpled heap at the bottom of a ravine.

"Some Mothers Do Have Them" Frank Spencer on the edge
“Some Mothers Do Have Them” Frank Spencer on the edge


Ana, my cleaner at the time had a rickety old van which was held together by rust, so I gave her my car. It was sad to see my Rover drive off into the sunset, but, at the time, it was for the best.

Over the past few months, a multitude of physical tests in hospital came up negative. I didn’t have Parkinson’s. Yippee !! I was told I was depressed. WHAT !! And was put on addictive tablets which I stopped taking as soon as I found out that information and all the side effects thrown in. And they still don’t know what’s wrong with me !!!

My car has gone. But, I am so lucky to have friends who take me where I need to go. We usually work it when we both need something in a certain town. Or they drop everything for an emergency like Star’s illness.


Would you have given your car away if you were in the same position as me ??


Welcome to my world !!
Welcome to my world !!


Ralph xox πŸ™‚


81 Comments on “Driven To Distraction

  1. Ralph, you have a kind heart … Hope you know what is wrong with your feet and have it treated soon.


    • Thanks YC πŸ˜€ I know exactly what was and is wrong with me but the specialists don’t listen !! Months of no sleeping, not eating properly and stress when she was dying. I have a psychological problem which manifested into nerve disorders. I know !! I am nuts but happy πŸ˜€ Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  2. Thank goodness that tests have come back negative for Parkinsons, that must be a HUGE relief. I think it’s lovely that you gave your car away, what a generous and kind spirit you are, Ralph. No wonder then that you are blessed with good friends, you truly deserve them. Hope you are having a good weekend. We are about to watch the Chelsea-Spurs game on the laptop. Please God make sure the internet holds up, I can’t face a grumpy husband tonight! XOX


    • Yes. That was quite a pleasant shock to know what I hadn’t got. Karma has been kind to me recently which is a blessing. I hope your internet is okay this afternoon Lottie and that you will have a Happy Husband tonight πŸ˜€ Ralph xox πŸ˜€
      PS Two dwarves down: Happy & Grumpy. Five to go πŸ˜‰


  3. Well…I know plenty of persons who can no longer drive themselves, BUT, they keep a car and ask people to drive it for them. I don’t know if you need that sort of thing there. You seem to know enough people for help–from what you share. Are you car shopping Mssr. Ralph?


    • Hi Elisa πŸ˜€ Keeping the car was the worst option at the time as it would just sit in the street and deteriorate. I would also still have the basic expenses to consider such as insurance, government mechanical tests, driving licence renewal every 3 years and so on. Even though the condition was good I would have got next to nothing selling it. Ana needed a good car so I gave it to her. I don’t go out in friends’ cars very often, but when I do, I chip in by paying for the diesel, meals etc. At the moment I am not looking to buy a car. Have a lovely weekend. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  4. You are very lucky to have such great and helpful friends around you. You need to relax after all the buiding work you went through ahn go for walks and enjoy your life calmly. (sorry to say …and stop smoking) I am sure it might go away as it suddenly started. If the doctor can’t physically find anything you need to work on your mind. Meditation perhaps??


    • I am a totally hopeless case in looking after myself Ute. I love to help others but when it comes to myself I know what I should do and I know what I like and what I like always seems to win. So your advice, my friend, is sound. I just need the self discipline to take it up and work with it. That is my biggest weakness.
      Now to eat an orange or swiss roll. Swiss roll !! Oh dear !! Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  5. You gave it away because you thought you had Parkinson’s. You should have confrimed it first if indeed you had it. Anyway, it seems you’re doing okay without a vehicle, and I’m sure the the person you gave the car to needed it more.


    • I don’t regret giving the car away my friend as I have learned two things from the experience. Firstly, I have learned to WAIT. I can’t just jump in the car and drive 30km for some item. I have to plan, list what I need and get them all in one hit. So I have to wait. Secondly, when I do go out it is with FRIENDS and we enjoy each other’s company rather than me out on my own. I hope you are having a lovely Saturday Renxkyoko πŸ˜€ Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  6. You are a very kind hearted man Ralph. It was so kind of you to give out your car! I am glad to hear you don’t have Parkinson’s. I have known a few people what had it and it wasn’t a pleasant experience at all. Your health comes first, in life, and everything else is secondary. I hope they find out what is wrong, with you. I wish you all the best, as always. Take care, health is a gem!


    • Hello Liz my favourite baker πŸ˜€ Thank you for your lovely comment. It took months for the specialists to tell me that it wasn’t Parkinson’s. Two things were different, I had flexibility in my hands and my brain was normal …. hmmm !! πŸ˜‰ I have my next appointment with the Neurologist in November and I am going to ask her if I could go on either a course of acupuncture or hypnotherapy as I do have a brain wiring problem and I am sure both can help. Both health and friends are gems. Have a lovely weekend my friend. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  7. Ralph, the fact that you gave it away instead of selling it speaks volumes on what kind of a person you really are. I know that we have only recently shared a few comments on each other’s blogs, but I genuinely look forward to reading your posts and would be tickled pink if someday, we even got to meet in person. Of course, the world would never be the same and chances are there would be some sort of alien invasion, but I’d take the risk of being probed by little green men. Actually, it would be the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Hugs!!!


    • You, Cheryl, are so funny !! πŸ˜€ Little green men !! Snow White and the 7 mini Hulks ?? If we were to meet I am sure that tickled pink would be on the menu πŸ˜‰
      Beam her up Scotty !! Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  8. I think you probably made the best decision at that time that you could make….stress can manifest itself in so many ways in making you sick…I have been through it…developed migraines and an ulcer….reason for stress went away and magically I got better….glad life has sorted itself out and life is good there with good friends….hugs….on the plus side too your Ana must bless you every day for your kindness towards her…..


    • I am so pleased to hear that you were magically restored to health Annie. Could you wave your wand my way ?? πŸ˜‰ Thank you for your very kind words my friend. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  9. I would decide to do the same thing but procrastinate way too much to have made it happen. I live in distraction. :). Just so you know, it is easier to fly than to walk. 8)


    • Oh dear. My friend who lives in distraction, possibly in a house with perplex windows, crazy paving floors and just driven to comment here. Did I miss anything Katie ?? I’ll fly ……. just don’t swat me….. okay ?? Ralph xox πŸ˜€


      • In my distraction I said walk not drive…I suppose a better point made. lol
        No swatter, so you are safe. 8)


      • I must distract you no longer my friend. Stay focussed. Keep your eye on the ball. Watch where you’re going …… as I have just landed πŸ˜‰


  10. Glad to know the results were negative. That was very kind of you to give away your car. Wish you the best πŸ˜€


    • Yes. I agree my friend. I think we would have made the same choice even now. Have a great weekend Beth. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  11. So glad you don’t have Parkinsons, Ralph. I think you did the right thing to give your car away if you didn’t feel you were safe to drive. You’ve obviously been through a really stressful time, losing your partner to cancer. Thank goodness for those good friends. I’m sure you all support one another, and that’s really great. *hugs*


    • Such a lovely comment Sylvia. Thanks. πŸ˜€
      Yes, I suppose safety was a major reason why I stopped driving. I am unsafe using this keyboard as you well know reading some of my posts πŸ˜‰
      Mutual support is such a blessing here in the mountains of southern Spain as none of us know when we may need help in one way or another.
      Take care my friend. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  12. Great post, Ralph. I’ve been there and done a lot of what you have written only in a similiar way. My health has improved probably 65-70% as of right now. I will email you and give you some unwanted advice of how I got from virtually zero to where I am 6 months later. Don’t know when I’ll get that email to you- but soon I hope.

    I drive myself but don’t drive I-35. But I keep up my driving skills and in fact I like to drive. Don’t have the sort of friends that you do so it is a must to remain independent. Everyone is too scattered around town and driving here is not a problem.

    It was the right thing for you to do when you gave your vehicle to the lady. Being generous generally has its rewards. Kindness can not be beat and it is a priceless attribute.

    Yvonne xxx


    • Hi Yvonne πŸ˜€

      I am so pleased to hear that your health has improved. How you get to the figure of 65-70% is beyond me πŸ˜‰ but an improvement is always welcome.

      You don’t drive I-35 ?? Is it that bad ? If you like driving and you are still able, go for it !!

      Have a lovely Sunday my friend. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


      • Well, Ralph, it is like this. I just BS around and guesstimate some numbers. Seriously though that is my honest opinion- maybe. πŸ™‚

        ~yvonne xox


      • The most important thing is the improvement. Now that’s got to be worth 65-70% of anyone’s money πŸ˜€


  13. Whew – For a second I thought that was you in the last photo hanging from the car. *Honk, Honk* πŸ˜†
    Glad that you don’t have Parkinsons.
    And – happy to hear that you made the decision not to drive if you don’t feel safe doing so. What a big heart you have for giving your car away to someone who needed one. Just as you have friends in your life that are a blessing & there for you when you need them- people are blessed to have you in their lives.
    xx Saludos y Abrazos xx
    RoSy πŸ™‚


    • Whew – it wasn’t me over the cliff RoSy, but it could be πŸ˜‰ If anyone was going to “Honk” I knew it would be you πŸ˜€ Actually, I don’t miss driving at all and I am lucky to have good friends, inc. Ute, who are very good drivers, so I feel I am in safe hands even when we are on treacherous mountain roads. Love and hugs my friend. RAlph xox πŸ˜€
      PS I am typing this at the bottom of a ravine πŸ˜‰ Not really !!


  14. Yes, I would have done the same; and I certainly wouldn’t have let myself drive. With all the stress you have had in recent years, I am not surprised your body had a tantrum and quit on you. Rest and time, lots of both, are usually good healers; in years gone by, a long sea voyage to the Antipodes was often considered as good a cure as any!!! Combined with a couple of cold baths a day ..yikes!


    • I have a strange feeling that you are trying to get rid of me Gallivanta πŸ˜‰ I should read your comment seriously, but I can’t, especially while I am having tantrums over my quitting body due to the stress of cold baths on a cruise ship out of the Antipodes. Double yikes !! πŸ˜‰ Happy Sunday my friend. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


      • Silly! I would never try to get rid of you. Just suggesting a very alternative lifestyle πŸ˜‰


  15. I see we are very much alike … I gave my car away at the beginning of this year also due to health reasons and have no regrets at all. Having said that, I might drive again one day … but would not care a bit if I do not!

    I always knew you are kind-hearted charmer -:)!


    • Yes. I think we must be alike Daniela. Wow, you gave your car away as well !! You have a kind heart and I am sure whoever received it must have been thrilled to bits. I don’t think I will drive again, as I don’t really want to now, as I have been without a car for so long. Have a lovely week in NZ. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  16. First, I am so thrilled to hear that you do not have Parkinson’s disease. And I am sure you will get beyond anything that may be affecting your health at the present time. Secondly, I would have given my car away as well, given what you thought you were dealing with. You have such a kind heart and I am certain your Rover went to someone in need. Please take care of special, unique you! πŸ™‚


    • Hi LuAnn πŸ˜€
      I’m thrilled as well but I’ve got something weird !! Okay. I know what you are going to say πŸ˜‰
      I am also thrilled about Terry which must be a great relief for you both.
      Have a lovely week. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


      • Yes, I must say it, a weird condition for a weird man ;), but hopefully a condition that can be easily remedied. Seriously, my prayers are for you to once again enjoy good health and much happiness. Thank you so much for the kind thoughts. A lovely week to you as well Ralph. πŸ™‚


  17. Ralph, I’ve figured it out! Your brain is too big for your head. You’re very smart (and clever too) loving and caring (huge amounts as you’re always thinking of others, so there’s not enough room there). I’m so good. I’ve figured out your problem. And I’m not going to charge you either! I don’t have a cure though, I guess, except to tell you to keep doing what you’re doing, my friend. Some things take longer than others to move beyond! I’d honk but my car is getting winterized right now! πŸ™‚ Take care of you, πŸ™‚ xo


    • I am not a doctor Penny, but many a woman I have known in the past said that a man’s brain is situated elsewhere on his body. So your comment has sent me on an ego trip πŸ˜‰
      Is this what you mean by your car getting “winterized”. Brrrr !!
      Happy Monday my friend. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


      • Hmmm. What to comment on first? Yes, I believe that is my car! (honestly – snow not withstanding – the make and model and color looks exactly like my car, no joke, how weird is that!) Now about the other, hmmm. Food for thought (yes, please have fun with that one, I know you will!) Ralph! Happy Monday night and Tuesday ‘morrow to you. πŸ™‚ xo


      • It must be the psychic connection I have between your family, myself and Mr Google πŸ˜‰ It’s Tuesday tomorrow here. Big hug from Egoman. πŸ˜€ xox


  18. Frankly speaking – it’s some dull doctors not much expert in them – it’s only logical that your head and your body would show an “after reaction” according to the situation you had been in – but your action with the car. requires respect, indeed… πŸ™‚


    • Welcome to my blog comments Le Drake Noir πŸ˜€
      Thank you for your very supportive comment which I do treasure. Take care. Ralph πŸ˜€


  19. You are so kind hearted Ralph, and you have friends who are as kind as you are too! Good karma all around.
    *big hugs*


    • You are really lovely Michelle, to say such kind words. Thank you so much. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  20. I’m sorry to hear for your loss. Isn’t it funny though through the hardships that you can still make me smile. No, I wouldn’t give up my car and secondly, I’m glad you don’t have Parkinsons, but make sure you get your blood sugar levels checked because often a foot issue like that can correlate with diabetes. πŸ™‚


    • Hi Debbie πŸ˜€
      I have been checked out for diabetes, had my brain scanned, bone marrow taken ….. the lot … and they found nothing wrong with me. But something is !! I might have been abducted by alien women and they wiped my mind *sigh* πŸ˜‰
      Big hug. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  21. That’s great news, Ralph! I mean that it’s not Parkinson! The depression part. Well, maybe it’s most post-traumatic. However, what Iid like to notice is that your other blog doesn’t seem to fit anymore, now that you cured your Parkinson friend ;).

    Big hug!


    • Thanks Julita. πŸ˜€

      I have cut right back. I only have this one blog now. The other 2 are private as I can’t delete them until the domains expire. I could see absolutely no sense in FB (except for the messenger) so that got deleted. Bluefish Way is almost a full time blog now but I am happy with it as it stands.

      The doctors got the idea that I was depressed while I was in hospital last November for tests. They put me in a ward with another patient who was gasping, dying, just like Judith (my companion) was on her last few weeks, so I couldn’t sleep in the ward, the same as at home, listening for any changes in the breathing. The doctors found out that I couldn’t sleep and put it down to depression, not, that I was on automatic, listening out, caring on my own 24/7 previously. They moved the other patient and I slept well then. I wouldn’t be able to blog if I was depressed …… I’m a happy bunny !!! Big hug back. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  22. Wow..really? A place called ‘Distraction’? LOL….a really good place to get distracted though…hehe…

    Driving is not my cup of tea…so I was really glad and relieved on the day I handed those keys back to my boss…so, I am destined to be a passenger during this lifetime…(negatively thinking: Destined to commute in public transport; positively thinking: Destined to have a driver…hehehe)

    Happy October, my friend!

    May this month be a beautiful and wonderful for you and your loved ones!

    Take care and be well, always~ Cheers!! πŸ˜€


    • It’s nice to be distracted sometimes ….. but by Lake Michigan ? ….. I’m not so sure πŸ˜‰
      Yes Wendy. You are destined to be chauffeured in a stretched limo πŸ˜€
      Is it October already ? So it is !!
      Big hug. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


      • Wow…a stretched limo??? LOL…with all those food and drinks inside…I wouldn’t mind being inside even without a chauffeur…Hehe…

        Have a wonderful Friday and a lovely weekend coming ahead, always..Cheers!! πŸ˜€


      • May I reciprocate your lovely weekend draped in the back of the limo knocking back bottles of champagne πŸ˜‰


      • Awww…Thank you, my friend!

        ( ^_^οΌ‰oθ‡ͺθ‡ͺo(^_^ οΌ‰CHEERS ( ^_^οΌ‰oθ‡ͺθ‡ͺo(^_^ οΌ‰


  23. Ralph, this is a very grounding post. Everyone values their health. When you say she passed in “March last year” – that just seems still so close. You must still feel it.

    Love that photo of Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em πŸ™‚

    Got to take care of yourself. I think 19 years is an amazing long time to keep a car, and I’m just like you in that I would have also. I see no reason to replace your car when it’s no longer “new”. What’s the purpose of new when you want familiarity & functionality.

    I wish you luck. It will be an adjustment without a car.


    • Thank you for your great comment Noeleen πŸ˜€
      It’s been a year and a half since Judith died and it’s time for me to move on. A new apartment now set up, no car which I am not going to replace, 2 cats happy with me. I am settling into my new life and enjoying it. Karma has been kind to me recently.
      I do hope that there have been great improvements with you and Daniel.
      Big hug to you both. Ralph xox πŸ˜€


      • This all sounds great, Ralph. I am glad. All good, then!


  24. Hi Ralph, I think in that moment you were a little desperate and thought you needed it anymore so in the same way you did a good job helping someone else, very sweet :). And now having so many friends for helping maybe it was a good thing to give it away otherwise you had not learn so well all your friends who are become now your best friends πŸ™‚ !


  25. Your comment is the finest appraisal of this post my friend. You have hit the nail on the head by saying that because of my situation, especially without a car, my friends are now my best friends. Wonderful. Well done Shiro πŸ˜€
    I see you are up late tonight !! So am I, as usual !! Ralph xox πŸ˜€


  26. Ralph, my dear friend, My mother was JUST like you in the give away department. She gave everything away, her car, her piano, you get the idea. She was also sick for the last 20 years of her life, and depended on others for transportation for the last 8. She never suffered for it, but did miss it! I don’t know that I inherited or learned her degree of kindness. I hope that I did, but time will tell. You are more than generous, I think, and I hope that the ones to whom you are so generous appreciate the great kindnesses you have shared with them. You have to be the most trusting man I have ever known. I believe that the goodness that you have shared with others will come back to you in different ways, as you already are experiencing. I hope that it will come back to you by way of improved health. That would be awesome. Lots of love to you MFR. πŸ™‚ xoxox


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