How To Treat A Lady ….. Help !!

Ute
Ute

separatorI really do need your help on this one. In less than three weeks Ute is coming to visit me for a while. She is my first human guest (possibly) *wink*. I have Manny, the teddy bear, from California staying at the moment who is a bit of a handful. I digress.

These are some of my ideas of how to treat the lady

separator

  1. Be respectful and courteous at all times ……. difficult !!
  2. Be a tour guide and show her the sights ……. should be an eye opener for her !!
  3. Get her permanently drunk on Cava (champagne) so that when she returns home she can’t remember anything and her photos will be all blurred.
  4. Take advantage of her innocence ……. hmmm !!!
  5. Let her take advantage of my innocence ……. double hmmm !!
  6. Leave her to sunbathe all day on my rear balcony.
  7. Email each other while 3 feet apart
  8. Other

Β separator

Ralph with Fiesta
Ralph with Fiesta

How would you like me to treat you if you visited me for a while ??

separatorRalph xox πŸ™‚

separator

64 Comments on “How To Treat A Lady ….. Help !!

  1. I would rather you treated me as family rather than a guest.

    Like

    • Wow Linda I never thought of that. Now what member of the family would that be I wonder ? Sister, Mother, Daughter, The mad eccentric Aunt that no one talks about ? You have got me thinking πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

      • Oh you’re playing with me now, but that’s what makes you so loveable!

        Like

  2. Wellllllllllll…….. and then there is common sense which is not so uncommon. With due respect to you Ralph I believe (that you will be a gentleman) at all times. That is number one in my book. Anything else is second place.

    Whose little dog? Maybe Fiesta has been featured before and I missed that part since I’ve only been “following” your blog since sometime in spring maybe? Just don’t remember “per sactly.”

    Like

    • I am extremely lacking in common sense Yvonne, so a gentleman I must be !! So much to learn in such a short space of time. Little finger pointing to the sky when drinking a cup of tea…….yes, Ma’am. No Ma’am……. speak with a plum in my mouth…… push in her chair (not pull it away) at meal times ….. so much to learn !! I’m panicking now πŸ˜‰

      Fiesta died last year. A lovely bichon frese.

      I wish you well my friend. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

  3. Hola Amigo!
    I will say that your list of ideas gave me a few chuckles.
    But – dear Ralph! I think you can just be yourself & go with the flow.
    Have fun & enjoy Ute’s visit! πŸ™‚
    xo Saludos y Abrazos xo
    RoSy

    Like

    • Thanks my dear friend. You have hit the nail on the head ….. not my thumb πŸ˜‰ I am sure that we will have fun RoSy. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

  4. Hey Ralph,

    Thanks for giving me my laugh today. As for advice, I’m with the others – be yourself. Treat her as you would want to be treated.

    And flowers are always appreciated!

    N

    Like

    • What sound advice my dear friend Nancy. “Treat her as you would want to be treated.”

      I won’t explode her kidneys then !!

      A couple of days ago I moved a large wooden chest full of bedding from one room to another and in the process blew up my kidneys. It’s agony to bend. I will not ask Ute to do anything like that. I may change my bedding to hay in hessian sacking with a vase of flowers for decoration πŸ˜‰ hehe. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

      • Dear friend Ralph,

        If nothing else, you will make Ute laugh. πŸ™‚

        Nancy
        P.S. Go easy on those kidneys!

        Like

  5. Hmm, I am not a lady and thus I am not qualified to the question. However, I looked a the options and all the options except the first one will get one in trouble sooner or later. Unless you want it to be the last time to treat the lady πŸ˜‰

    Like

    • Oh please don’t sell yourself short YC my friend. Your subliminal avatar shows me that you are a pussy-cat at heart and a lady is in there somewhere πŸ˜€

      So I am in big trouble in going beyond option #1. I have been advised to be myself. Then I am definitely in big trouble πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

      • LoL, now you made me consider changing my avatar. Perhaps a nice smiling Gozilla might do.

        Yes, yes, you should be yourself but you also need to be a gentleman too πŸ™‚

        Like

  6. Hi Ralph, If I was visiting you and I stayed for a week we could go to the nearest beach or go to a park and have a pick-nick with all the loveliest things to eat. Than in the evening we could Lying on your balcony in very cosy bed chairs (separate πŸ™‚ ) and watching the stars and fantasy’s and chitchat a bit with a nice bottle of champagne πŸ™‚ ! Than the morning have a beautiful breakfast made by me with all fresh local products to thank πŸ™‚ you, that should be my stay at your house :)!

    Like

    • Oh Shiro. Ute must read this, take notes and put all those things on her to-do list. What a dream comment my friend. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

      • Hope that Ute will take note of this than…….hahaha and you will be like the happiest man πŸ™‚ ! Have a great day Ralph ! πŸ™‚

        Like

    • Posts at dawn !! Will you be my second ? OR do you mean that we either do posts on the same subject at the same time OR Ute writes one word and I write the next ? OR …… I’ve got a headache !! πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

      • Oh dear, that got complicated quickly! How about Mad Libs style: you write a post leaving a blank where key words go and she blindly picks nouns and verbs to fill them in. Or….
        You can just take a lovely stroll out and about with the bear man as your guide. Have fun whatever you decide! 8)

        Like

  7. Well, if Ute is like me she can take blurry pictures without a drop to drink, so I wouldn’t choose that one. Dueling blog posts, I can actually visualize happening. Of course some sun-bathing on the balcony – hmmmm How private is it? Of course, Spiderwoman doesn’t need to be encased in a balcony. She can just sun herself on the side of the building. So I’m going to pick that one for sure, along with lots of trips here and there because Manny, Fanny, and Danny are going to pester the bejeebers out of you both to go places. πŸ™‚

    Like

    • Hi MVBFM πŸ˜€ I think that Ute is very brave to come and visit me. I mean, she has read most of my comments in the past so has a rough idea of what I am like. Mind you, being Spiderwoman, bravery is a norm for her, facing a brick wall most of her life and trapping unsuspecting Ralph’s in her web. I won’t wriggle too much. πŸ˜‰

      I am going to have to get some photos of Manny off to you today. Something local. David and I were too busy and it was too hot on the Costa del Sol yesterday to even think about Manny. He enjoyed the trip but was not allowed into the stores as he might have wrecked them. There were also too many topless women on the beaches and he may have ran off with one of them. I just can’t take your teddy bear anywhere !! (or was I talking about myself πŸ˜‰ ) Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

  8. Be respectful and courteous at all times ……. difficult !!
    (Come on Ralph…don’t be so humble about this… αƒš(ο½€γƒΌΒ΄αƒš)You can do it! Hehehe…)

    I bet Ute is going to have a very interesting visit!

    All the best to her (and oh…you too, my friend)

    Cheers~ πŸ˜€

    Like

    • I have been so humbled by your comment that at the end of the day I will be respectful and courteous to Ute. You must be a top agony aunt my dear friend Wendy to sway me like that in so few words !! Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

      • Awww….that’s because deep in your heart, you’ve already planned to be respectful and courteous in the first place so that I can be a top agony aunt, my friend! Hehe… πŸ˜‰

        Update soon! We would love to see pictures of Ute smiling like a happy lady who is being treated with TLC!

        Cheers!!! πŸ˜€

        Like

  9. Now Ms Anonymous !! Is this the beginning of one of those internet romances ? I have an inkling of who you are !! You must have snuck into a cyber cafe wearing a false moustache, a trilby hat and a trench coat to send this comment secretly. So when are you coming to my “man place” ? The key is under the front door mat πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox πŸ˜€

    PS Don’t wear the disguise or I will think you are a travelling salesman πŸ˜‰

    Like

  10. Just wondering if Ute follows your blog? πŸ™‚ Be yourself and she will be happy and have a lot of laughs.

    Like

    • Hi Jane. Yes, Ute does follow my blog and even pressed like on this post ….. she may have forgotten to wear her glasses at the time though πŸ˜‰ Thank you so much for your uplifting words. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

  11. How exciting for you, Ralph. I just hope you’ll be on your best behaviour, as I’m sure she’ll blog about her visit. πŸ˜†

    Like

    • Hi Sylvia. I am really excited with only 2 weeks to go to Ute’s arrival. I will really try my best to be on my best behaviour. I must google *best behaviour” and find out what it means πŸ˜‰ Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

  12. Hi Ralph!

    I’m sure you’re worrying too much – I know you are much sweeter than you let on even (or especially) to yourself πŸ™‚

    I believe once Ute arrives you will find that you do not have to even try to be a gentleman, as you are just naturally one. The two of you will get along easily and the time will pass far too quickly…

    Please be sure to keep the rest of us updated!

    I hope you are taking it easy now, dear friend, and that your kidney is better.

    Hugs,
    Lyann

    Like

    • Hi my friend Lyann πŸ˜€

      I wish I could take it easy as I really don’t know where to start about yesterday. The hob in the kitchen went bananas in the morning followed by a bang below my laptop where all the electrics were. I called the electricians. One came. Switched the circuit breakers off and told me that the whole village was zapped by 380vAC. He never returned. Later on in the day, really hot, no air conditioner I heard that the voltage was normal, so I went through everything. I have lost a lighting system, skydigibox, my new front door entry system, the bang under my desk was a surge protector for my laptop which is okay. The hob is okay as is everything else. Pedro, my neighbour, lost his TV, Xbox, microwave etc. Whole houses inc. one UK family that turned up at their holiday home today lost everything. I will, as everyone else make a claim against the power company. The electrician is returning this morning.

      I am so behind with my emails and visiting blogs. I will get to you eventually. I am so much better today and try not to carry heavy things.

      My love to you all. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

      • WOW – I am so sorry to hear that you lost so much, Ralph. 😦 And the entire village, as well…I hope the power company will resolve the issue and replace all your equipment. That is just awful.

        I am glad to hear you are better, and I hope you do avoid carrying any more heavy things.

        It was so good to see a post from you again. I can totally relate to being behind on e-mails, although I have tried to keep up with the blogs. Thankfully, my coursework now matches my interests, and blogging fits right in with my assignments. Plus, I finally got a cell phone (sort of a necessity for a New Media Journalism student!) – and the camera on it is so amazing I can hardly keep up with posting, I have taken so many photos…

        The children and I loved the photo of you in your most recent post! We’re looking forward to seeing pictures of you and Ute – we’d also love to see some pictures of the kitties πŸ˜€

        Hopefully everything will smooth out soon for you, dearest friend. I miss your e-mails, and I look forward to the time when both of us can get caught up.

        In the meantime, take good care of yourself, give the kitties lots of big hugs from us, and know that all of us here are thinking of you every day. Our life is so much brighter because of you, you know!

        Much love and many hugs from all of us here to you,
        Love,
        Lyann

        Like

      • Everything I lost was not protected by a surge protector. My expensive electronic items I had protected individually so they were okay. The electricians mounted unprotected transformers in the walls and they blew up. Luckily I can live without them for a while. I would recommend if you have power outages to plug surge protectors into your sockets then plug the TV etc. into them. Saves a lot of hassle. The electricians made a list of 5 items and just now a villager came round with blank claim forms which will be checked and collected tomorrow. He told me of one family who lost 3 laptops, 2 TVs and a very expensive audio system. The whole village was hit and every house and shop has electronic damage of some sort.

        I am so pleased that you are now happily carrying on with your course work and having fun with your new cell phone. I have seen your post emails and I am working my way through my inbox towards them gradually. I seem to be hovering around 150 emails to get through. I have a big session, get them down to 100 and before I know it they are back to 150. I may have to spend a whole day to get them to zero……. no chance of a whole day at the moment.

        My cats are fine. I don’t know how they didn’t go insane with all the noise they had to put up with over the last few weeks, but they have come through it well.

        Except for some electrical issues my apartment will be finished tomorrow evening as my friends Hilda and Louise are coming to finish it off, hang the remaining curtains etc. while Pedro mounts the headboards and pictures. Then time to crack open a bottle of cava (champagne). It will be bliss for me when it’s all finished.

        I’ll email you soon Lyann. xox

        Like

    • Hi Sheri πŸ˜€ “All of the above” ?????? That should be fun πŸ˜€ I will listen. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

  13. You are doing great, better than great they are flocking all the way across the world … I guess Ralph’s own reality TV show is next -:)! Well Done -:)!

    You will have a great time and loads of laughs!

    Numbers 1, 2, and 6 when I land, thank you -:)!

    Like

    • Who’s that dishy darling for your avatar my friend ??? πŸ˜€

      I really do hope that Ute and I will have a great time when she visits. So for you a 1, 2 and 6 plus a cup of tea. Okay. See you soon Daniela. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

    • Bu SeΓ§il size Γ§ok tatlΔ±. Ben hoş bir Pazar yaşıyorum ve ben aynΔ± harika bir gΓΌn yaşıyorsanΔ±z umut ediyoruz. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

  14. Very interesting here……. well people I don’t know what to expect and I love surprises. Going to Spain is a first for me and I know it will be an adventure to see this country not speaking the language either. Seeing Ralph is the second adventure, I probably will be laughing all day with him….. I am sure we will have fun and I will enjoy it! I shall let you know later of all the above points… hehe

    Like

    • Hi Ute. Surprises, Adventure, Fun !! Wow, all that in one visit ? Okay. Let’s go for it !! I think I can handle points 1 to 7 but it’s #8 “Other” that intrigues me πŸ˜‰ See you soon my friend. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

      • I am sure we can think of something “other” hehe….. as long as I don’t have to eat 10 doughnuts for breakfast I will be fine! πŸ™‚

        Like

  15. Manny makes breakfast. I don’t want to upset him by refusing doughnuts. I think you have a way with him, enough for him to listen to you as he never listens to me πŸ˜‰

    Like

  16. 3 sounds like a plan that’ll have you covered. Haha. “Others” would be: “be myself… be funny and make her laugh all the time.”

    Like

    • Hehe !! πŸ˜€ #3 “Get her permanently drunk on Cava (champagne) so that when she returns home she can’t remember anything and her photos will be all blurred.”. That’s a good one Rynna but your “others” is my favourite ……. just got to live up to it !! Have a lovely day. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

  17. So happy for ya! Not sure why it says that I am following but not receiving any of your posts.
    My little morsel of advice would be that even if the conversation has been hot and heavy… take it slow. Even though I was the one who was talking big, I was so disappointed he just pounced on me when we finally did meet. A girl likes romance. And it’s all about the first kiss. πŸ˜‰

    Like

    • Hi Diane. First of all I just love your new avatar picture πŸ˜€
      Maybe WP thinks it may be too much for you to read my posts πŸ˜‰ Sometimes logging out and logging back in reboots WP ….. hope you remember your password if you do do that.
      I have taken your advice on board my friend. There will not be a lot of pouncing from me. Will you be my Agony Aunt if I get into a situation ? πŸ˜‰
      Big hug. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

      • I have the utmost confidence in YOU and think she is a lucky lady! If I had you as a suitor, I might not mind the pouncing. πŸ˜‰

        Like

      • Haha !! You are a real lioness Diane !! πŸ˜‰ I am extremely honoured that you think of me in such a way. Ute is arriving a week tomorrow and I think that I am the lucky one. xox

        Like

  18. This is so wonderful – how wonderful!

    You don’t need help. I reckon you’d be a natural πŸ˜‰

    Like

    • Thanks Noeleen for your wonderful comment and for your natural approach to my request for help. Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

  19. Wow lots of advice here hey?Any follow up plans for you to visit or for Ute to return? I don’t want to be an Agony Aunt for ya… but always willing! I toured your photos! Looks like you showed her the best of times!

    Like

    • We both had the bestest of holidays when Ute visited. I was amazed at how perfect it went with such variety. I am not sure about the future. We will just have to wait and see. So Diane, my Agony Aunt, keep working your magic πŸ˜€ Ralph xox πŸ˜€

      Like

This is the best bit. Your comments !!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Yeah, I am not sure either

The secret life (naaat) of a 21 year old

Walking With Scars

My daily dance through a creative life as a female artist and photographer with lifelong depression.

An Evil Nymph's Blog

I Think WAY Too Much!

The Jiggly Bits

...because life is funny.

the incurable dreamer

my dreams are my disease, chasing them is my only option

My Hearing Loss Story

This is my story about my experience of sudden sensorineural hearing loss and how it affects my life.

Blog Woman!!! - Life Uncategorized

Mother, Nehiyaw, Metis, & career communicator. This is my collection of opinions, stories, and the occasional rise to, or fall from, challenge. In other words, it's my party, I can fun if I want to. .................................................................. Artwork by aaronpaquette.net

The Crazy Bag Lady @BulanLifestyle.com

Welcome to my Art Blog and follow my adventure. Bohemian artist who loves to travel and draw.

comeagainblog

The life of a waitress…in all its glory.

Surprising Lives

Discover Life, Incredible People, Places and Our World!

Out an' About

Loving Life On and Off the Tracks

MagickMermaid

Day-Dreamer, Moon-Gazer, Confirmed Contrarian, Traveler, Artist, Frustrated Cartoonist, Perennial Fish Out of Water

Skinny and Single

Single and Over 40 and Not Suicidal About It

Cruise Stories

cruise ship adventures

In the Net! - Stories of Life and Narcissistic Survival

This is my story and I'm sticking to it!

Musings of PuppyDoc

Poetry & Medicine

brushes and papers

my learning journey

Marsha Ingrao

Traveling & Blogging Near and Far

BRILLIANCE WITHIN

Inspiring the WOW factor in life and business

Arcilla y fuego

Una visiΓ³n sobre el complejo y apasionante mundo de la cerΓ‘mica

Manny's Blog

a blog for kids and kids at heart

witlessdatingafterfifty

Relationships reveal our hearts.

Queen's end

The Fifth Corner of Life

Twisted Gypsy

Photography, travel,art,craft,writing and all things creative...

fashion with compassion

fashionable over 50

MaryRowen.com

Books, musings, news...

My Favourite Pastime

Food, Travel and Eating Out

An Unexpected Life Chosen

A freelance writer, clairvoyant medium, credit manager, chakra meditation teacher, traveller, animal lover, past-life healer, and a change advocate.........having walked many paths, I ask; did I really sign up for this?

Graffiti Lux and Murals

Luxuriating in Ephemeral Art

Quirky Books

Read the difference

Englishman in Italy

An Englishman, his Sicilian wife and an Italian / English Dictionary

Once Upon Your Prime

Where You Live Happily Ever Laughter!

shehanne moore

Smexy Historical Romance

BroadBlogs

A broad blogs broadly on women’s & men's psychology: sex, relationships, equality

Art Gowns

The Art of Glamorous Fantasy

Lottie Nevin - The Rioja Diaries

Uncorked tales from Andalucia.

I didn't have my glasses on....

A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.

Hello World

Walk along with me

Elizabeth Melton Parsons

Writing~Art~Life

DEAR HUMAN

These letters are written to remind you just how much you matter, just how important you are, and just how beautiful the gift of life as a human is.

pelly * made

subjective worldview

The Bumble Files

The truth is in here

Ute smile

Ute's Happy World

%d bloggers like this: