As most of you know I am on Day 15 of the major renovations in my apartment. Two days ago the builders removed the hot water system and I am left with cold water only. This is the true story of my first cold shower. Come into the bathroom with me and enjoy my agony.
(My thoughts are in Italics)
*BANG BANG BANG on the door to the front two rooms where I exist* Opening my eyes and glancing at the 8am time on my alarm clock. WTF!! *BANG BANG* “Raoul ! Rafael ! I need the key to the main water valve !” *BANG BANG* Scraping myself out of bed, dressing gown covering my modesty, I bleary eyed open the door and pointed to the keys hanging on the wall where I showed him, the Spanish builder, the day before. Idiot !! I smiled at him drowsily and went back and sat on my bed.
OMG. I had better have a quick shave and shower before they remove the hot water tank. Standing up, adjusting my dressing gown as I didn’t want the builders to feel lacking or jealous, I hastened to the bathroom. The water was off. Oh no !! as I went to the loo. One flush !! I better leave it I closed the lid and went out to the extension to find three builders laughing while another was being sprayed by boiling water from the pipe he was undoing below the hot water tank. I returned to my rooms to take stock of my situation.
The kettle was about one third full. Coffee or shave? Decisions !! Coffee. Definitely coffee !!
6pm. Builders gone home. A vacant space where the hot water tank once was. Cold water only !! I need a shower !!
Dreading the thought of a cold shower I made excuses for five hours. Blogging, change the stones in the cat litter tray, take the household waste bag out to the street trash bin, blogging, a hot kettle shave, blogging, evening meal, wash the plates with a hot kettle emptied into the kitchen sink, blogging……bed time!! I’ve got to have my shower !! So into the bathroom goes I.
Standing in the bath as far away from the spray as I can, naked (I always am when taking a shower!), shower curtain closed, I turned on the water. Waaaaaah!! Freezing!! Leaning forward, my head under the spray was not so bad on my hair which I washed and rinsed. Soaped and rinsed both arms, in and out of the cold water, with a little Waaah !! Chest next. Bloody hell !! Aaaargh!! My Little Fellow was beginning to shrink into the realms of quantum physics. OMG!! Brrrr!! Waaaaah!! The package washed I turned my attention to my back. This is when I let out a muffled scream !!
Now my bum. I couldn’t take any more cold water. Ah. The bidet !!. So I got out of the bath. Sitting on the bidet, I turned it on. The jet wash almost killed me.
I jumped up in agony and cold water shot across the room soaking the jumbo kitchen roll, toilet rolls, everything !!
Returning forlorn to the shower, I finished off, dried myself and feeling refreshed That wasn’t so bad I thought as I waded out of the bathroom through the builders rubble back to my two rooms.
If I get 100 comments including my replies. I will add a photograph of me in a towel to whom I think writes the best comment. Up for it? And did you enjoy watching me having a traumatic shower?
Ralph xox 😀
A Galaxy of Rewind
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