I Was Almost Robbed Today

Ralph's wallet
Ralph’s wallet


Yes. It’s true !! I was almost robbed today.

The story started yesterday when Jesus (Blessed be his speed of working) asked me to go with him this morning to choose tiles for the rear of the apartment. So off we went, up the mountain side to Cortes de la Frontera. Being Jesus (Blessed be his wine making) stopped on the way to show me his vineyard, his wife and his bar. Jesus (Blessed be his opening hours) has his hand in much more than building work. He parked the car outside of the bank, which was great, because I needed to go to the ATM/cash point  where I withdrew €300/US$330. Jesus (Blessed be his wicker basket full of rolls of coins) had to go into the bank to deposit the coins. So sitting on a window ledge next to the bank, I waited and waited. Then she appeared from seemingly nowhere.

A young lady, a pretty little thing which, of course, I didn’t notice came up to me with a clip board in her hand and asked me to sign for a cause, which I did. Then she kept asking for my ID to write my name on the petition. I removed my wallet from the pocket of my butt (that should get Marsha and Elisa excited) and took out my green Residencia card. (By the way, my wallet is not normally open with euros hanging out of it in my butt pocket as in the post photograph). So, I took out my card and she flustered around dropping it onto the pavement/side walk. Her clip board passed over my wallet and straight away I saw that nine €50 notes had gone.

She was totally submissive as I searched her not a full stripped body search hand, bag and finally the back of  her clip board which had a pocket, in which were my €50 notes. As I was counting them and returning them to my wallet she had walked off around the corner. I followed but no sign of her.

Jesus (Blessed be his now empty wicker basket) came out of the bank. I took him up to La Fuenta Bar to see Sara who translated my story to Jesus (Blessed be his paying for the coffees). He wanted me to denounce her at the Guardia Civil (Police) but I was very reluctant for two reasons. I had spent hours making statements denouncing a noisy neighbour (who has been quiet ever since) and I didn’t want to go through all that again. Anyway, I got my money back !! Secondly, even though she may be part of a gang, I believe that she may have been forced into robbing people. I wish I could have sat down and had a coffee with her to talk about why and so forth. Jesus (Blessed be his contacts in the Guardia Civil) said that he would talk to the Police for me.

We then went on and chose the tiles.


Have you ever been robbed?

separatorBluefish Way Poetry blog is no more. I had to make it Private, not for saucy poem reasons, but as it is a dot com I cannot delete it immediately. The domain runs out in August. I have exported all the contents into this blog. 

Now that there is poetry mixed in with other posts I have created Categories which you can find and use on my sidebar. I have been busy and will visit your new posts when I can. I am so sorry that I am way behind with my visits.


From a rather shocked

Ralph xox


92 Comments on “I Was Almost Robbed Today

  1. Good Heavens above! What a saucy wench. I’m so glad you were alert and aware of what had happened. Yes I’ve been robbed. This is Africa you know. 😯


    • I’m really sorry to hear of you being robbed Sylvia. It’s a violation of trust which annoys me. If she asked for money I would have probably given her some and we would both be happy. Ralph xox 😀


  2. A violation is bad enough, but I’m still glad there wasn’t any violence!


    • I don’t think that she had been doing it long as her hands were trembling Linda. There was no violence as I don’t think it crossed either of our minds. Ralph xox 😀


      • Good. Who knows? Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing for her, and if not, maybe how you handled it will make her think about what she is doing. In any case, I’m glad you’re okay.


  3. I burst out laughing about the butt comments Mr. S. You utilized nerves of steel–or at least had the temerity to translate being a wreck into a good story. I am so glad that no one so far has appeared to come to any harm. (I sooooooooooooooo want to reach out and smack someone.)


      • weelllll….it was the woman, and anyone of influence to her, but then
        you gave me ideas and now my aim might be off, maybe on purpose


  4. Have you taken off the automatic renew on the dot-com?

    The comments about Jesus (Blessed be his being your friend) and I am glad that you spotted that fast enough to get your money back. As you say, she was probably forced to do it through a front man


    • Hi Alistair. It’s on red, expiring at the end of August. This blog is on automatic renewal and the other is manual, both have months to go.

      I am upset, but more about her and what she is in to. I do hope she doesn’t get beaten up because I got my money back. It’s on my mind all the time. Take care my friend. Ralph (no kisses 😉 )


      • Just looking through, I seem to be the only male to reply hahaha.

        Reading some of the other comments, I hope she gives it up if she was that scared. I also hope whoever is her “handler” for want of a better word – lets her go.


      • Haha 😆 There may be some commenters disguising their true identity 😉

        I totally agree with you that I hope in some way she can stop doing it.


    • Thank you my friend. I would have expected this sort of behaviour in the tourist towns on the Costa del Sol but not in a backwater village like mine. I do know that the police have been cracking down hard on the coast, so maybe the gangs are forced inland to where I live. Have a lovely weekend Rene. Ralph xox 😀


  5. Glad you noticed and got your 50s back, robbers are so crafty these days, you can’t trust anyone anymore, even if you want to be helpful! I bet Jesus (blessed be his multi talent) was glad too as you can pay him now!


    • Thanks my friend 😀 Jesus (Blessed be his healthy bank balance in 5 weeks time) will want at least 400 €50 notes instead of the 9 the woman tried to take from me. On top of the 400 is another 80 IVA/VAT/taxes and possibly the woman is learning from the Government on how to turn a person upside down and shake every last penny from that person’s wallet and bank account to put in their own pockets. Have a lovely weekend Ute. Ralph xox 😀


  6. Ralph, Ralph, Ralph, whatever am I going to do with you? Yes, I had my home robbed twice years ago. After the first robbery, we got insurance. Nonetheless, nothing, even insurance, replaces things that are in your family for years, like my Great-grandmother’s ring, or a charm bracelet that was given to me as a child. I’ve never been robbed like you were, when I was standing talking to someone. Yikes! I’m glad you got your money back. 🙂


    • Marsha, Marsha, Marsha, whatever are you going to do to me ? 😉 Sentimental items are impossible to replace and I am so sorry to hear about your losses. Happy Saturday !! Well, it is, here …… just. Love Ralph xox 😀


      • Thanks Ralph. It was 27 years ago, so I’ve recovered. If I’d had children it might be more sentimental that it was but I don’t have anyone to pass those things down to, so maybe they went to someone who enjoyed them for many years until they were robbed!

        So you have a wonderful Saturday – and while you’re at it, you might as well have a great Sunday as well. I’m not quite done with Friday, yet! Lots of love 🙂 xox


  7. Ay Dios mio Ralph! So glad that you are ok. Gotta’ watch out for the evil señoritas in pretty disguises.
    Even with that – you still wondering if she will be ok – shows you’ve got a big heart. Remember this though – it was her choice to get into that mess. Hopefully – she can get out of it (or find another victim – sad to say).
    🙂 xo


    • Hi RoSy. I hope there are no evil señoritas in pretty disguises in these comments 😉

      We don’t know whether it was her choice or being forced. I hope she gets out now as I felt that she was scared doing it and I really hope that my lack of anger or a violent reaction is now niggling at her making her realise that not all men are nasty thugs.

      Big hug. Ralph xox 😀


  8. O tempora! O mores! dear Ralph… You were lucky my friend!
    But I can’t help laughing as I imagine you with Jesus outside the bank, soon after the incident: did you use sign language asking him to go to the bar? 😀
    Of course I’ve been robbed! He took my purse and I was laughing at him because I thought he was someone I knew 😉
    I was sitting on my front steps with a girlfriend, he came on his motorbike, climbed on the pavement and picked my purse looking cool and calm. I saw him on tv after 2 months and he was a notorious criminal!


    • I was very lucky Pelly. If she was an old hand I would have lost that money. I pray that it never happens to her.

      I can speak a little Spanish ……. enough to tell Jesus (Blessed be his tolerance of the English) what I wanted us to do, to go the bar and see Sara.

      I don’t know my friend, laughing at a notorious criminal while he walks off with your purse. How was the ouzo that day ? 😉 I hope you didn’t lose anything of importance like that secret “Sunday” photograph you have of me 😉 😆 Ralph xox 😀


  9. I have never been robbed in the classical way, but as a citizen of former communist country I have been permanently robbed 😦 Congratulation, Ralph, for being alert!


    • I wonder ? Classical robbery ? Possibly a masked highwayman with flintlock pistols ordering, “Stand and deliver !! Your money or your wife” 😉

      The European Union is no different. I can’t be sure of that but what you say sounds the same.

      Have a lovely weekend my friend Wanda. Ralph xox 😀


      • Good morning, Ralph! And thank you! You have inspired me to write a post about classical and contemporary robbery! I’ll do it! My and my nation bio is very good exemplum. I used (subconscious) a latin word (… roman law, greek wisdom … etc.) Have a nice weekend, Ralph as well 🙂 🙂


  10. Here I go again. Lord have mercy. Ralph you need a guardian. 1. YOU DO NOT EVER let anyone in a public place see your ID unless it a 1. Police officer. 2. You are paying with a check and must show your ID. 3. At a doctors office where you show proof of insurance for the initial visit. Otherwise NO ONE HAS ANY NEED TO SEE YOUR ID- period. Stop being gullible and start being suspicious.

    I go to the drive through window at the bank when getting cash for my helper/s.

    I am sorry to preach to you today. Take care.



    • I am the proverbial locking the stable door after the horse has bolted. I welcome your astuteness in this matter and your advice Yvonne. But I am a hopeless case. No cure. No sense. 😀

      Thank you my preacher friend. Ralph xox 😀


  11. Scary stuff Ralph. Glad you got your money back.
    Desperate people do desperate things. I hope that woman finds a way out of her situation. You’re sweet to be so forgiving.


    • I really do agree with everything you say Tracy. I do feel for her and just want to give her a big hug, not for what she did, but for what she can be. Have a lovely Saturday. Ralph xox 😀


    • I pray that you never will be robbed YC. Thank you for your visit and comment my friend. Ralph xox 😀


  12. What a day!!! Thankfully you are safe Ralph. And I’ve been robbed twice If you know my country well it’s worse :D. Enjoy your weekend Ralph


    • I am so sorry to hear that you have been robbed twice Yessie. It must have been awful for you. May you have a lovely weekend as well my friend. Ralph xox 😀


  13. what a story, I’ve never been robbed. These people hang around cashpoints and find more and more inventive ways to rob unexpected innocent folks. Glad you had Jesus (blessed be his friendship) with you and you managed to get all your money back! what colour tiles did you chose?


    • I chose a green set which have patterns and narrow separator tiles. I wanted green to match with the view rather than a contrasting colour. Happy Saturday my friend. Ralph xox 😀


  14. I was robbed in Barcelona – the man who did it was a real genius of his trade. It was a horrible experience but I had to admire his skill in removing a wallet from an inside pocket!


    • Hi Andrew and welcome 😀 Your experience was a complete contrast to mine. I would have been devastated if I had your experience. Take care. Ralph


  15. So glad to hear that this ended well Ralph. It is amazing to me how clever some of these people can be.


    • All’s well that ends well !! They are clever, but it’s a shame that they don’t use their dexterity for something good. I hope you both are have a lovely weekend my friends. Ralph xox 😀


  16. Poor, you! And unwise too to carry such money in your wallet… These robbing stories happen so often. And everywhere. I never was robbed, but that could be for two reasons, either I was just really lucky, or my precaution helped.

    I’m glad you got your money back! Hope you’re also feeling better now.

    ( & the blessed Jesus once more, made my day! 🙂 )


    • Yes. Poor me. I need a bit of TLC my friend 😉

      Don’t tell me. Your precaution is to keep your money in your bra 😉

      I feel better now that you have commented Julita. Big hug. Ralph xox 😀


    • “Quick. Alert. Search. Whew” The new motto on my coat of arms which I haven’t got. Do you wish to design me a coat of arms my friend ? Hope your weekend is fabulous Katie. Ralph xox 😀


      • Oh, now I must design a coat for you! Inspired!!! Although, that may be the local fire department creed. 😉
        You wanted arms in that coat, right? lol
        Oops. You just reminded me I left Lil’ Red outside, and I hear thunder. Off to save him!


      • Oh yes. A coat with arms would do nicely. Possibly one of many colours? 😉

        Did you save Lil’ Red from the tempest ? How brave of you 😀


      • He is safe now. 8)
        Do you prefer primary colours, pastels, or something else?


      • I prefer the infra red end of the colour spectrum as it’s warmer 😉

        I’m so pleased that Lil’ Red was saved. Whew !! 😀


    • Hey Russel 😀 Thanks for your visit. Intriguing, but probably best left to history. Take care. Ralph 😀


  17. Wow! That doesn’t happen that often. I’m glad for you that she didn’t have a chance to run off with the money.
    Once, while visiting Dublin, a rather odd man kept following us for a while and eventually I felt him reaching out to me. I suppose he wanted to rob us. I did turn around just in that very moment though and he mumbled something and walked off.


    • Hi Scarlett 😀 I bet that “rather odd man” in Dublin was a leprechaun trying to get back his crock of gold that you had dug up from the end of a rainbow. 😉 Ralph xox 😀


      • Haha, I wish he were. I really like the Leprechauns 😉
        For some reason we kept watching that guy who turned into a narrow street not too far away from where we had our little encouter. He then prepared an injection and shot it in his (bruised) arms … I really do hope that the Leprechauns didn’t end up like this ..


      • In my local village there are a couple of teenagers like you who work hard and get involved in the community. There are many others who have just given up. Unemployment in Spain is over 25% and for teenagers over 50% so the majority just go on government schemes and fool around with “what’s the point” attitude. There is nothing for them to do out of school or training schemes, so they group together, smoke cannabis and drink, ring peoples doorbells at 3am, let off firecrackers in plastic water bottles and just sit around. There is no injecting that I know of. I spoke to one teenager who said cannabis is easier to buy than tobacco.


  18. I agree with you Ralph. If people were willing to ask for help they might be surprised at the help that you or I would offer.


  19. I’m glad you got your money back. I admire your compassion for the human spirit. I have been robbed and it is usually the mental and emotional anguish of the feeling of violation that hurts a lot more than the physical loss. PEACE-


    • You are spot on with your assessment of being robbed and I agree with what you say. I hope you are having a fun Sunday Wambui my friend. Ralph xox 😀


      • I tried to access your last two posts and I had a message on both “Page not found”.


  20. Moral of the story. Beware of pretty young girls holding clip boards! Haha. Glad you got your money back! I’ve lost a lot of things before. But never been robbed thank goodness.


    • Put your clip board away Rynna !! 😉 I pray that you never are robbed. Ralph xox 😀


  21. Gosh! Glad you are fine (very important) and gotten your money back (a bonus factor).

    Take care & Cheers!!!:D


  22. I’ve heard Spain is notorious for pickpockets. When we were there we met up with a couple of the rosemary sprig ladies, but knew better than to take the rosemary or to let them get within touching distance of us so we passed by them unscathed. Glad you noticed and got your money back.


    • Thank you so much for your comment LB. This is the first time that anyone has heard of it happening in the village. I pray that she has learned a lesson and will never return unless to apologise. Have a lovely week. Ralph xox 😀


  23. omg! what a story! your sense of humor never ceases to amaze me, Ralph. I cannot believe what a bold broad in broad daylight she was, yet she met her match in you!
    never had an encounter like yours…glad you came away unscathed my friend 😉


    • Hi my friend Roxie. Your comments are always welcome and it’s great to see you here. I think I was very lucky. She was either a novice or, as you say, met her match. Such a shame that she is doing this thing. Big hug. Ralph xox 😀


  24. I have never been robbed no, Ralph, but it would leave you very angry. I mean, money comes from you working – and to have someone just con it away from you…

    She was clever, but I’m glad you were observant. Well done!


    • Surprisingly I wasn’t angry, just shocked and saddened by what she had done. I still think that I was very lucky that the outcome happened the way it did. I hope you are having a great week my friend Noeleen. Ralph xox 😀


  25. Ralph, wow, I’m glad you got your money back. It sounds like something she was pretty skilled at doing, so maybe she was forced into to it. So sneaky. I did have my wallet taken once, and it was painful. Your whole life is in there, or so it seems. Since then, I try to keep less things in my wallet. Good for you to notice your money was missing. See, nothing gets past you, Ralph. – Amy xoxo


    • That is so true that, well in my case, there is so much in my wallet which is so difficult to replace here in Spain. Nothing gets past me my friend. 😉 Take care Amy. Ralph xox 😀 x


  26. I can imagine that you was shocked, you’ve had luck and also because you was alert for that girl! We a view years ago were in Rome and they brought away the bag of my sister right in front of us but we get narcotized with a spray so we didn’t noticed, only we came back on earth in the moment that faraway a man handed it to another and than we run but it was already to late, so ,,,,,,,,! But now we are prepared so watch out ! Wish you a very nice evening Ralph and a big kiss, SérachShirò 🙂


    • That must have been an awful experience for you both in Rome. Yes. It is best to be prepared and alert for any such future event, which I hope never happens to you Shiro. Have a lovely Thursday my friend. Ralph xox 😀


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