“Turn my back for one minute. SONIC !!” Sonic, my little boy, decided to jump up into my pants drawer and rearrange them to his liking. “Out !!” And being a good boy, down onto the floor he jumps, spluttering his fury at not being left to his own devices in there.
I was 17 & 1/2 years old when I was rapidly taught by a Drill Corporal in the British Army that shirts were ironed with two parallel creases down the back and one across the shoulders. Trousers only ever had one crease and woe betide if tramlines appeared by careless ironing. Everything was folded in its own special way and placed in it’s favourite place in one’s personal locker (never locked !!). Ironing and folding, a brainwashed technique I never forgot, like my Army Number …… 2*****93 …..
My first wife was an ex RAF nurse, so when I was home not working on contracts in Saudi Arabia; the girls at school and V on shift in a local hospital, I found myself almost everyday with a mountain of ironing. Nurses uniform, kids school clothes and a mound of underwear. She had to have all the underwear ironed. I am an expert at pants, and have a Master’s Degree in brassieres. Knickers moved so fast across the ironing board, ironed and stacked high. Ironing a bra is similar to ironing the inside of two ice cream cones. Once de-creased and the frilly bits stop looking like a roller coaster, one cup is folded into the other and the bungee cords tucked inside. This bra was placed into the next, cups into cups, and the whole line picked up and placed into the bra drawer. The knickers to the bottom of the pile in the knicker drawer, whites with whites, blacks with blacks and so on. Why do women have so many drawers ?? (read into that what you will)
I digress. As well as a cat in my (now tidy) pants drawer I have a hot water bottle and a jewellery box. The hot water bottle is for emergency use only, that is, if my feet are cold in bed !! And the jewellery box, poor thing was ravished by gypsy women who broke into the house on the Costa del Sol, now has pretty crystals inside.
(I should be so lucky !!)
...because life is funny.
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