Update 15 March 2013

Sonic and Star enjoying the morning sun in Spain
Sonic and Star enjoying the morning sun in Spain


Amazingly I have a weekend when I can return to blogging for a while. I have missed the fun we have, but most of all I have missed my internet friends. Some of you have kept in touch by email which is really wonderful of you.

I have been very busy. With the help of Toni, 2 of the 3 bedrooms are now totally empty ….. my minimalist look !! Ornaments, pictures and other knick-knacks are all packed away ready for the builders to come and smash walls down. I will live in two rooms while the rest of the apartment is renovated ….. I am going to dread the noise and dust, as like most houses in Spain they are built of concrete, bricks and tiles…… but 6 weeks of deafness will be worth it in the end.


Star was a skeleton a few weeks ago. What a wonderful change to see !!
Star was a skeleton a few weeks ago. What a wonderful change to see !!


The craziness of the Spanish documentation, (paranoia gone mad) I entered, returned and survived, though badly bruised intellectually. Mainly because of the laziness of the Town Hall, their records of new buildings have not been updated for over 20 years which means they are not collecting taxes and the coffers are empty. It also means that my apartment has an identity crisis which national government officials tut-tut over, I can’t do that, and it’s more than my job’s worth to allow this or that to be changed or stamped. But I did it !!

So my 3  bedroom apartment has all the bills now paid by me and come to my house #137. The electricity bill is registered to house #131, the water/household waste is registered to #143 and the catastro, land registry or property tax, has never ever been registered. And it took me 8 months to get the Town Hall to change my empadronamiento or personal registration address from #135 to #137. Total madness. But I did it !!

I still have to go to Ronda Police to update my Residencia, residence permit, which will be a piece of cake compared to what I have been through AND the Spanish National Health for a change of address ……. easy !! ……. hmmmmm !! All offices require photocopies of everything !! So I spent a whole afternoon replenishing my stocks of photocopies ready for these two offices to come. But I will do it !!


The view out of the back of my apartment after many days of heavy rain. The river burst it's bank. I had a riverside property for a couple of days !!
The view out of the back of my apartment after many days of heavy rain. The river burst it’s bank. I had a riverside property for a couple of days !!

separatorMy love life has returned to non-existent as my German woman friend values her independence more than a man in her life and has gone totally silent for days. banging head on the laptop. I must respect her wishes and must let her go. So I am free now to find a Spanish bimbo who will always smile, say “Si Senor” to everything I say and flamenco dance for me in the evenings. wishful thinking

separatorCan you see why I gave up blogging for a while ??


74 Comments on “Update 15 March 2013

    • What a lovely name Missus Tribble. Welcome to my humble blog and thank you for your lovely comment. Star is becoming a wonderful house cat and has now found her place at home. Big hug. Ralph xox


      • I do love a rescue story with a happy ending; how did Star come to you? I love cats, but my husband and I are away in my hometown fairly often, so I make do with fuzzles from the local Persian – who seems to have adopted everybody in our street 🙂


      • A friend of mine drove past my house and saw Star wandering about in the street. She phoned to ask me to take it in. I already had two 10 year old rescued cats and didn’t want another, but when I saw the state Star was in I had to give her a home. But no more !! …….. hmmmm !! That’s nice of you to be adopted by a Persian cat 😀


  1. You must have incredible patience!

    The view out the back of your apartment is spectacular even with the flooding.


    • This is very similar to what I go through Linda. Enjoy !!

      The view was one of the main reasons why I bought this apartment. Ralph xox


      • It would have been what captivated me too.


      • Marshaaaa !! A blonde with a stapler up her sleeve ?? Makes me wonder what else she has hidden up there 😉 Though I am very attracted to her organisational abilities and bravery in the face of bureaucratic stupidity Ralph xox 😀


  2. welcome back dear Ralph, I am glad to see you. Cats are amazing, Blessing to them. But the flood made me worry… Thank you, have a nice weekend, love, nia


    • Thanks for your welcome back Nia. I am pleased to back for a while. I agree. Cats are wonderful pets for people who live alone. Toni was here on her own cleaning the apartment one Sunday and lost Star. She had disappeared in an almost empty apartment. Toni eventually found her curled up asleep in a plastic bag full of plastic bags under the sink. What a cat !!
      I would only start to worry about the flood when it starts coming through my front door 3 floors up 😉
      I hope you have a great weekend as well Nia. Ralph xox 😀


    • Yes, oh the joy, Sheri !! It really makes me appreciate Spain once these hurdles are cleared 😀 Big hug back. Ralph xox


  3. Great to see you back, and yes, we can see why you were taking a vacation from blogging. Dealing with bureaucracy in any language and country can be very draining. I look forward to following the progress of your renovations.

    Cute cat photos, too! I missed why Star had looked like a skeleton. What happened?


    • Thanks Catherine 😀 Two more offices to go !! There can be tears and laughter in these offices. One woman customer was crying in one office and in another, a few years ago, in the queue ahead of me was a huge fat bearded man dressed in a flowery dress with a handbag draped over his arm. The lipstick was a bit much though 😀
      I will keep you updated as things progress.
      When I brought Star in from the street she was immediately sick bringing up two huge chunks of dog food and a beetle. She had more worms than poo, but a deworming course of tablets and kitty food she began to recover quickly. The farmer’s wife and daughter came round a week after I took Star in, demanding that I return Star as she was her daughter’s cat. They refused an offer I made to buy Star and were very persistent that I return her. I then laid into them … you can imagine what I said …. and at the end told them that there was no way I was going to return Star to them and walked away. The daughter was laughing throughout the exchange and I hope she returns in a future life as a little farmer’s kitten !!
      Ralph xox


      • Bless you for saving that cat, restoring it to good health (it may never have been in good health til you saved it) and keeping the cat from those horrible people! Yes, it would be good karma if the daughter came back — but as one of those beetles!

        Good luck in the last two offices and hopefully there will be some amusing people there, too.


    • Hi Nancy. Want some more ??
      After the signing and handing over the money for this apartment at the Notary. I was given my copy of the title deeds and it cost me €400 for them to get my name wrong. On the British passport are 3 lines, surname, forenames and nationality of British Citizen and they mixed up the three. My deeds read Ralph Citizen Whillier. What a load of plonkers !! So back went the deeds for amending.
      I had an old man come to the door the other day begging for money, so I gave him some, and I had an idea !! I am living on my own and need a hobby other than smashing down walls. I asked a friend to look into it for me and she thinks it’s a closed shop ……. I want to put myself up as a candidate for the Town Mayor ………. how does Mayor Citizen Ralph sound ???? 😀


  4. 😦
    You made me reconsider my expectations Ralph.
    I must not be keeping up.
    Please write more often so you don’t get into this fix again!
    Maybe a fine lady your age for great company and inner beauty?
    Bimbo’s sound boring under the skin, that’s just me. They fail and always need replacement too.


    • Your comment has just de-bimbo-ed me. You are not quite as wayward as you make out to be. Anyway, as you say, a bimbo would bore me to tears after 10 seconds. May I ask what your expectations of me are ? 😉 Is this an offer I can’t refuse ?? 😉 This is fun !! Ralph xox


      • Oh, yes Ralphy I am.
        completely un-PRable. I only look like a bimbo. I know my worth. So, I’m a lady. 😀
        I only date men who live in my city. 😀
        First of many requirements. 😀
        I suggest you do the same. 😀 I bet you will find a bimbo lookalike. But you will know she is priceless and worship her accordingly.


      • You are holding me at quite an advantage on your part. You say you are a bimbo lookalike but all I have seen is a freckled two dimensional drawing as your avatar. Austin men must be very lucky to have a lady such as yourself within its precincts. I don’t even know your name. 😀
        With great sadness I must leave you to the men of Austin and somewhere amongst the goat herds in these mountains of southern Spain I may, just may find the one lady for me. 😀


  5. Lovely to see you here in blogland. May be to go to the last 2 offices, take a big bar of delicious chocolate with you , it might get your job done quicker… 🙂 All these paperpushers are not the fastest in any country, but Spain takes the biscuit. You can only laugh about it. Great to see lovely Star looking good, you are doing a great job with her. Keep to cats not bimbos…. 🙂 Hugs Ute


    • Good idea Ute, bribery with chocolate. They would probably stamp anything for a coffee cream !! But I am not too sure about keeping to cats and not bimbos !! Bimbos are definitely off my to-do list, not that I ever had one …. list that is … but which is better cats or bimbos ?? At least one cat wakes me up every couple of hours to climb in under the sheets for a cuddle, a purr and a paddle ….. which ever way I would have sleepless nights 😉 I think I will have to join a monastery with a dirty habit 😉
      Big hug. Ralph xox


      • Haha, what a thought, you in a monastery:-) I definitely would prefer cats to bimbos. So look out for a lady, …. I would do almost anything for chocolate or cake…..I am sometimes bribed at work with it…. works quite often hahaha. At least that way you get something out of the work you are supposed to do anyway…. well we do have fun at work, as you can imagine. 🙂


      • STICKY NOTE : Ute easily won over with chocolate or cake 😀 😉 😀


  6. A Ralph sighting! You just made my week complete 🙂
    You have been busier than a bee making honey.
    We had construction in the house a couple of years ago & were living in our livingroom for a couple of months (Had master bathroom -connected to master bedroom – completely re-done). Was dusty & things were upside down. But -in the end – Ahhhhhh…
    Take care.
    Feliz Friday-
    RoSy xx


    • Hi RoSy. It’s great to talk to you again as well. Between the NOW and the Ahhhhh is going to be the worst part as you have already experienced. Roll on the Ahhhhh !! Have a great weekend. Ralph xox


  7. Oh the joy of having you back for how ever long we can keep you tied down 🙂 It is such a blessing to hear from you dear Ralph and I believe Mayor Ralph is quite the career for you…if nothing else it will put you in the public eye and then you will have a lot of nice women wanting to be first lady to choose from. Star looks beautiful and I am so glad you fought to keep her. live blessed dear Ralph hugs (((())))


    • Hi Len. Thank you for your lovely comment and it’s nice to be back for a while.
      Our friend, the dolphin, surfaced last night and I will forward her email and my reply to you in a moment. I meant to do it at the time but your coming in here now reminded me. I have the memory of a bluefish, about 4 seconds !! Big hugs back. Ralph xox 😀


    • Hey Julita, hi 😀 I have taken on board your home designs. 2 bedrooms are minimalistic ….. totally empty ….. now that is a fashion statement !! One wall will be distressed …… knocked down ….. and another will have french windows knocked through giving access to the balcony for morning breakfast in the sun. I am also installing a TV on a swing bracket which I can swing to either watch in bed or across the open doors while I am on the balcony in the evening sipping some local brew. Big hug Ralph xox 😀


  8. Ralph – welcome back… are you sane? after watching that video – which made me laugh and laugh, I was hardly sane myself… it brought back memories of being imprisoned in a policeman’s office in Majorca with my friend and her family – because the mother of my friend was a NZer and had not got a visa to enter… it took all day to claw ourselves out of the clutched of those psychopaths, with the help of a Maltese friend who had the rudiments of Spanish !!!
    Cats are gorgeous… love Vienetta


    • That is a chat up line I must remember Verity …….. Are you sane? …… 😀
      My, you are having an adventure playground of a life and the icing on the cake is you have met me !! It must all be down hill from now on 😉 Love Ralph xox


  9. Wow! You certainly have gone through it, haven’t you? But I’m so proud of you! You did it! And it’s good to have you back for a bit. ((hugs))


    • Thank you so much for your lovely comment dear Rene. Yes I did it, but more of the same to come, but I have had practice now and should know what’s coming so long as they don’t throw me a curve ball 😀
      And it’s nice to be back amongst friends for a while. Hugs back. Ralph xox 😀


  10. Good luck with your search for a Spanish bimbo, Ralph. I don’t envy you those renovations, but as you say, it will be worth it. 🙂


    • Thank you so much Sylvia. Maybe I should just wait and see what happens. She may find me !! And as for the renovations I just wish they would start !! Ralph xox 😀


      • You say I “she may find me,” then end with “wish THEY would start!!!” How MANY bimbos do you want, MFR?


      • I am not quite sure what they have put in the water in California. Vodka ??
        I said “And as for the renovations I just wish they would start !!” not a bimbo in sight in that sentence 😀


  11. Considering all things that are not equal- you might just be better off without the German woman. Look at the experience as another lesson learned. The starving cat will give you more comfort and solace then any German. 🙂 Anyhow, I am so glad that you took the cat and that she is looking so much better. Thanks for the funnies. I loved them all. I liked the one of the women who were subordInate to the men. The women riding in the enclosed cage was over the top but so were all the other ones. Crazy women! 🙂

    My new computer will be arriving via Fed Ex and I hope it will not take 10 days as the woman told me. I paid more than what I should have but all things considered it is a good thing. HP has computer tech support also. I had to order from HP since that was the only way I could get my computer using a credit card.



    • I always seem to be learning lessons and remembering nothing 😉 Star is fine now and is one of the family 😀 I will keep sending you the funnies as they come in to me 😀
      Wow. A new computer !! I hope you have a lot of fun with it as I did when I got my new laptop. I am still learning all the time. Ralph xox 😀


    • Hello again dear Yessie. It’s nice to be back for a while. What’s with this ” been missing you lol ….” ??? 😀 Ralph xox 😀


  12. Hey! Missed you. So much goings on there. Not sure if I should be excited or nervous for you. You will have to post pics of you and the kitties wearing dust masks. 8)


    • I missed you too Katie. Just be nervously excited that’s so much more fun 😉 Maybe a few pics of the cats with hard hats and sledgehammers.. I’ll have no need of builders then. 😀 Have a great weekend Ralph xox


  13. I was wondering when you’d be back… Sounds like you’re busy with wonderful and exciting things… Minus deafness and dust! 🙂


    • I am back Rynna but I still can’t get my head around 100% blogging as yet with so much going on. I have not been given a start date from the builder. This is Spain so I am expecting a knock at the door at 7am one morning by a man with a cement mixer in one pocket and a sledgehammer in his thigh holster. I have seen them work and they work hard all hours which is great, plus ….. noise and dust YUK !! Ralph xox


  14. Yeah! Ralph is BACK! The internet is bright again. Star’s shining. (MEOW) I mean purring. Papers are flying in a paperless society at apartment 137, 131, 141, or who-knows-what other location assigned to that Ralph-space in Spain. The rain on the plain in Spain has stopped, and Ralph has floated back, bimbo-free, to Cyberland! In Cyberland Bluefish Way has its own address, and the Cyber-controllers in WordPress, Cyberland don’t seem to mix Bluefish Way up with other addresses on the whole world-wide-web. So get it together, Spain. Step up to the plate, Spaniards, or lose Ralph back to dust-free, noise-controlled Cyberland where he belongs!!!!! Yeah!!! Welcome back MFR!!! 🙂


  15. Greetings Ralph. Haven’t seen you about. Good luck on the house renovation. Watch out for those Spanish beauties around! Steve


    • Hi Steve. Thanks for the good luck 😀 I am signing the contract with the builder today and we are all waiting for the Town Hall to pull their finger out and grant the necessary permissions for the go ahead. I am definitely watching out for those Spanish beauties 😉
      May I ask what is your relationship to AJ ??
      Take care. Ralph


      • Ralph,

        I was at a park about 4 months ago. I wandered up the road toward the fisherman pier and AJ sprang out from the bushes, crying pitiously for rescue. I, I (OOOPS, got the kitten mixed up with my daughter, AJ)!! Sorry.


      • What a story !! Daughter/kitten, kitten/daughter, same difference> love, cuddle, problems 😉


    • Hi JK. Thank you so much for the reblog. I hope it’s completely painless for both of us 😉 Ralph 😀


  16. Wonderfull news Ralph! “Kaloriziko”!! (greek wish for something new meaning something like: good+destiny+luck+root…) for your new house!!
    It might help if you just imagine that moment when everything is over and done and you open your first bottle of spanish wine in your beautiful minimalistic home!
    The view is stunning by the way 🙂


    • Wow, that is a great Greek wish Pelly, thank you 😀
      You are really popping my imagination cork on how it will finally look.
      Big hug. Ralph xox 😀


      • I am so pleased that you didn’t add to the fine wine of my imagination and humour, that it should be stared at, swilled around, sniffed at, sipped, gargled and spat out 😉 I wouldn’t blame you if you did 😆


  17. Hey! So nice to see you back man -:)! And in such a good spirit … never you mind all the useless Spanish bureaucracy …. as long as you can wish for a bimbo all is well with you … and I say go for it … never you mind what anyone says; it can cheer man’s spirits to no end!

    Take Care,


    • Daniela, my friend, welcome !! 😀 I will take your comment to heart and hopefully in a few weeks will be able to relax and enjoy blogging again. Have a great weekend. Ralph xox 🙂


  18. Ralph, I’m glad to see that you and the felines are settled in nicely. They are much less trouble than women!

    Blessings ~ Wendy


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