Thirty odd years ago when I was thirty odd years old I was happily married with two young daughters. The money was rolling in as I was a contractor in Saudi Arabia. The contracts required me to go alone to the Middle East and my family lived happily in my house in England. Contracts usually entailed up to six months of work in Saudi Arabia and a month’s holiday. It was the day before I was due to fly back to Riyadh for another six months work. So my story begins.
Usually the day before flying back I take the family out for a meal and a treat, but this day my wife said that she had a treat for me. The children were left with a friend and my wife and I set off in the car for nearby Portsmouth, England. I had a smile on my face thinking all sorts of thoughts including erotic ones. She said that she had to stop at the hospital where she worked as a nurse to pick up something that she left there. I went in with her. Big mistake !!
We entered a room in the hospital with a couple of chairs and a couch. Then she dropped the bombshell. She quietly explained to me that she knew I would say no if she told me before. She had booked and paid for me to have a vasectomy as the birth control tablets made her ill and neither of us liked to use condoms. Panic!! My poor family jewels about to torn asunder! Suddenly the joke of the Arab whose sole vocation was to castrate camels with two bricks entered my head. Asked if it hurts the arab replied, “Only when my fingers get caught between the bricks!”
A glazed resignation hit me. I was in shock. Next thing I knew I was naked except for a blue gown WIDE OPEN at the back! A man came in with a trolley, pushed me onto the couch and proceeded to brush shaving cream around my treasured possessions. And THEN he started to sharpen a GIANT cut throat razor blade. Panic!. Like the Three Musketeers, in seconds he had finished, wiped clean and gone. I didn’t have time to do a head count when in a came a nurse with another trolley and in seconds had injected me with a local anaesthetic. Heck! Help! Horror! Ten minutes later I had to pee just as the nurse came in to say they were ready for me. I ran off down the corridor with my bare back open to the world. Main exit to the left, toilets to the right. Decision time! The nurse decided for me as she pushed me into the toilet. Within minutes I was in and out of the Star Trek operating theatre. With my poor little fellows wrapped in a muslin bag I was dressed and in the car heading home. I think this was the first day of the downward spiral towards divorce.
The next day I was on a Boeing 747 taking off for Riyadh. I was in a lot of pain jammed in aircraft seats designed for dwarves. Well, I am very tall! I couldn’t move. So I called the stewardess (another big mistake) and told her of my pain, what had happened and where it was. She dashed down the aisle giggling disappearing behind the kitchen curtains. Every few seconds a different stewardess’s head popped out behind the curtain giggled and disappeared back behind the curtain. A male steward came up to me and moved me to an entrance door seat. Bliss! I could stretch my legs out and move to comfortable positions. During the whole five hour flight a different stewardess would come up to me and with a teasing smile asked if there was anything she could do to make me more comfortable.
What a day NOT to join the mile high club !!
Life after the kids are grown
This site is mostly about interesting Days When I Didn't Think Ahead
The adventures of little read writing Hood
Living with MS in an empty nest and exploring uncharted territory in my 40's:)
Fashion Blogger, Designer, Globetrotter
Growing older with silliness, high spirits and a lot of heart.
Mother, Nehiyaw, Metis, & Itisahwâkan - career communicator. This is my collection of opinions, stories, and the occasional rise to, or fall from, challenge. In other words, it's my party, I can fun if I want to. .................................................................. Artwork by aaronpaquette.net
My daily dance through a creative life as a female artist and photographer with lifelong depression.
my dreams are my disease, chasing them my only option
This is my story about my experience of sudden sensorineural hearing loss and how it affects my life.
Welcome to my Art and Lifestyle Blog. Follow my adventures as a Bohemian artist.
Discover Life: Incredible People, Places, And Our World!
Loving Life On and Off the Tracks
Day-Dreamer, Moon-Gazer, Confirmed Contrarian, Traveler, Artist, Frustrated Cartoonist, Perennial Fish Out of Water
Work in progress
Single and Almost 50 and Not Suicidal About It
cruise ship adventures
Sometimes, life is like that.
my learning journey
Traveling & Blogging Near and Far
Inspiring the WOW factor in life and business
Una visión sobre el complejo y apasionante mundo de la cerámica
Relationships reveal our hearts.
The Fifth Corner of Life
fashionable over 50
Books, musings, news...
Food, Travel and Eating Out
A freelance writer, clairvoyant medium, credit manager, chakra meditation teacher, traveller, animal lover, past-life healer, and a change advocate.........having walked many paths, I ask; did I really sign up for this?
Luxuriating in Ephemeral Art
Read the difference
Smexy Historical Romance
The Art of Glamorous Fantasy
A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.
Walk along with me
These letters are written to remind you just how much you matter, just how important you are, and just how beautiful the gift of life as a human is.
Ute's Happy World
Author and Designer - Designs, Style, Italian Culture, Travel, Food
A force of Nature, with intense acting skills.
The Journey to Wellness
Musings on technology, marketing and life.