Wash Day Blues

Last few metres in UK 30April2002I really do not mind using a washing machine and hanging out the clothes to dry. It’s only when the use of the washing machine can become a war of the wash. I had a washing machine who’s controls, buttons, dials were never touched for 8 years and worked perfectly, until we had visitors who used the machine. After they left, there was a metallic rattle. I looked inside with a torch and saw nothing unusual. Next two washes, quiet. Ah ! The problem has cleared itself. The following wash the machine sounded as if I lived in a shipyard. The screeching was awful. So, bravely, my head re-entered the drum. I had pretty much decided to get my tool box and open the back, when in the very top edge of the drum I saw a rusty tiny piece of metal. I pulled at it and out came a long curved metal heavy wire. Yes, ladies, the wire was used in a bra to stop you going south. So, if you are coming south to visit, please don’t use my washing machine.

I am now in an apartment with a machine with no instructions. I think I am reasonably intelligent (thanks) and know my way around washing machines, but this one almost beat me. Clothes in, powder drawer open. Pouring the powder into the middle container I was very careful as the box said “Razzle Dazzle Powder. Warning. Please wear sunglasses when removing your whites, colours and blacks from your washing machine because ALL your clothes will be so brilliantly white they will blind you”. Now for the ” Ocean on the mountain” blue conditioner into the right hand container. Controls !! No problem, number 9 at 30 degrees. After checking the clothes in the drum to ensure Sonic, my black cat was not curled up in there. Well, he’s black and I don’t want to find him in half an hour, blindingly white, now do I??. I pushed the ON button.

I sat down. Two seconds later the machine started spinning. Once stopped, I opened the powder drawer and the blue “Ocean on the mountain with crushed pine tree cones” had GONE !! But the powder was piled as I left it. Adding some more “Ocean on the mountain with crushed pine tree cones and flowers of the Scottish moors” blue conditioner, I pressed ON at number 6. Got it now, so I thought. Ten minutes later, SPIN CYCLE !! Oh no!! Same again ! So I emptied the remainder of “Ocean on the mountain with crushed pine tree cones and flowers of the Scottish moors bathed in sun drenched lemons”  blue conditioner into it’s tray. I’ll get it right this time and I did. Number 3 !!

So the moral of this tale is, if you HAVE washday blues, you’ll have to go out and buy some more !!

10 Comments on “Wash Day Blues

  1. hugely entertaining, thank you, and I won’t admit to my similar escapades, eveh! *snap* 😉

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      • Roxie !!! (Covering my cat’s eyes with one hand. Hat off, fanning my blushing face with the other) ” I see you’re not going south then. Oooops !! I meant to say you ARE intelligent !!”

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  2. oh sir your humor is delightful…yes I won’t be going south, as I shall stay here…and you should cover kitty’s ears with both hands so nothing slips in 🙂

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  3. And I thought I was the only one who knew how to do a proper wash job.

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    • Hi Teresa. OMG !! This blog is turning into a St Trinian’s film 😉
      Science lesson. No. It won’t give you a headache, Teresa !! “Going south” means that after a few years womens’ breasts start heading towards the centre of the earth due to gravity ( that’s a science word ).
      You learn a lot on my blog !! 😉

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