Women with shotguns

Ralph 01.01.1971 CyprusI always feel that men and women are pretty much the same, just the packaging is different. But sometimes I have to admit that when the Tomb Raider Laura Croft in women emerges, woe betide anyone who stands in her way. And, generally, that’s me !! For example:-

Recently I was at a party with about twenty guests. Nothing special. A get together of us foreigners living in the Spanish village. The women were at one end chatting and catching up with the latest gossip. And the men full of playful banter at the other end of the table. Then I met Laura Croft.

She came up to me. I had never seen her before, but her large blue eyes spoke to me, saying ” I have been watching you and I notice your hands are shaking”. I explained my situation and, as if talking to a cute kitten or puppy, I added, ” I have been watching you and I notice how blue your eyes are.” Her eyes closed to slits, teeth clenched she drew her pistols and fired “I resent that !” Slightly wounded, I was stunned. Now being a stupid male I didn’t let go and so I ventured, explored deeper into the jungle of her mind and cheerfully said, “Well, I think you are very pretty”. Wrong!! As if to pounce and strangle me she drew her shotgun and fired both barrels, ” I really DO resent that !!”. Shoot, what DID I say, I thought. I should have done something sensible like jumping off a cliff. But, no, with one more try I spluttered, ” You are gorgeous, you know”. Wrong again ! This is when she brought in the Pacific Fleet, the 7th Cavalry and the whole nuclear arsenal of the world. She declared World War Three upon me, ” You wouldn’t say that if I was a male !”. Totally perplexed, bewildered and confused, I resigned and weakly said, ” Okay, I surrender. What should I have said to you?”.

“That I am intelligent !!”

26 Comments on “Women with shotguns

  1. live and learn, live and learn
    that is how my husband got me through the intelligence method–though later he told me what he really thought, and by that time, I was complimented

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  2. Maybe I’ll use the intelligent approach next time I pet a kitten 🙂
    Thanks again for your comment, Lou Ann. Loved it.

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  3. hahaha! Perhaps she’s heard that as a “line” one too many times? Those of us who are not constantly drawing attention would simply say “thanks.”

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  4. Hey. I’ll give you a thanks anyday if you compliment me on my green eyes.
    That’s because I’m not too intelligent.

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    • Thank you for your comment Teresa 🙂
      I hope this is not another female quicksand that I am about to step into. Here goes.
      What lovely green eyes you have Teresa 🙂

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  5. Can you hear me laughing all the way to Andalucia? hahahahahahaha!

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  6. Hi Amy. I welcome your visit as well as your comment 🙂
    I believe everyone, male, female, cats, dogs love to receive a compliment. Women really love it, though at the back of their minds they think “what’s he after?”. How the hell can a man SEE intelligence? After a while, small talk etc. yes, intelligence shows itself.
    I have quite a variety of weapons in the Bluefish Way armoury. Help yourself.
    Amy what lovely eyes you have…………running, ducking for cover 😉

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  7. Pingback: Better Than Cheesecake: The Reader Appreciation Award | [thoughts of a lunatic]

  8. Quite an honour. But my Awards or Rewards post will explain why I must decline.

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    • Oh. I would NEVER call you skinnywench. Hi. I notice that you have a delightfully delicate figure. (uh oh!)

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  9. I”m late getting to this post, but I have to say that I can’t see anything wrong with your compliment. Oh well, what can I say I’m a guy. The title of this post got my attention.

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    • You have to be really careful with what you say in here Tim as this place is full of Lara Crofts armed to the teeth. 😀

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      • No doubt. I thought an appropriate response to your Lara Croft would have been, “but I can’t see your brain.”

        I know what you’re thinking, “let the beatings begin!”

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      • So true. In real life I don’t have that problem as I am on my own, but in this post ……. oh boy !!

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