Cooking for the single man the Bluefish way. Goverment health warning: ladies, if you p** your pants with laughter, please leave this post now, or read it with your eyes closed. The following scenario could be in a house near you. You have been warned !!
“Hi Jack. Your door was open so I thought I come round to see if you are okay. I just saw your wife running down your front yard, screaming, and I saw her grab the first man who could walk and went off with him. Got married a week ago! didn’t go too well then. Oh, you’re hungry. Can’t cook ?? No need to turn the football off. Wow, you watched 4 games today already. Yes please, put the Playboy down and do up your trousers.
Now, where’s your kitchen? Don’t know?? It looks like the bathroom but has loads of cupboards. Come on, Jack, up you get. Yes, you can bring your beer. Now, let’s have a look in your fridge. Um !! Got a lot of beer cans in here, in fact there is no room for anything else. Ah! an egg! Now, where’s the frying pan as I think I will show you how to fry an egg, on toast perhaps? No, we don’t need that saucepan Jack. The favourite one that you boil your dirty motorcycle chain in ! No, we don’t need……a here it is. The frying pan’s main purpose, Jack, IS for cooking! I understand that your wife hit you over the head with it, but it is for cooking. Ah, good there’s a spatula in this drawer. What ! It’s the replacement your wife bought as you used the original to pick up your dog’s pooh in the backyard ! Jack, how could you !!
We need some oil, Jack. Have a look through the cupboards and see if there is any sunflower oil. Olive oil? Butter? No? Where ARE you going? Okay, for demonstration purposes I suppose this will have to do. You kept this can of engine oil in a safe place, in your wife’s knickers drawer??
No toast then. You put a tube of glue in the toaster to soften it. It caught fire. You threw it out of the window where it hit the dog, which you have not seen since. Yes, it must be pretty lonely with no wife and no dog.
Right !! That’s the frying pan hot enough. Bang the egg on the side of the pan. That’s it, it’s cracked. Put your fingers in the crack and split the egg open and pour it into the pan. Easy. No, don’t worry about the yellow part smoking on the hob, or the shell in the pan. No, don’t eat…….I’ve got to go now Jack. Bye”
I could have run down the front yard, screaming, and gone off with the first woman I met, but I have to go round and see John who is sewing a button on his shirt with a staple gun.
Welcome to my Art Blog and follow my adventure. Bohemian artist who loves to travel and draw.
The life of a waitress…in all its glory.
Discover Life. Incredible people, places and our world!
Loving Life On and Off the Tracks
Day-Dreamer, Moon-Gazer, Confirmed Contrarian, Traveler, Artist, Frustrated Cartoonist, Perennial Fish Out of Water
A life in a photobooth.
Work in progress
Single and Over 40 and Not Suicidal About It
cruise ship adventures
This is my story and I'm sticking to it!
Poetry & Medicine
my learning journey
Traveling & Blogging Near and Far
A great WordPress.com site
Inspiring the WOW factor in life and business
Mishaps with men, mental health, BBC and drugs
Una visión sobre el complejo y apasionante mundo de la cerámica
a blog for kids and kids at heart
Relationships reveal our hearts.
The Fifth Corner of Life
Photography,digital art,craft,writing and all things creative...
Art & Inspiration
fashionable over 50
Books, musings, news...
Food, Travel and Eating Out
A freelance writer, clairvoyant medium, credit manager, chakra meditation teacher, traveller, animal lover, past-life healer, and a change advocate.........having walked many paths, I ask; did I really sign up for this?
Life as I see it: I'm a Tree-hugging Publishing Consultant, Small Business Mentor, Practicing Writer, Cat Rescuer, DIY Addict, and Beach Dreamer
Luxuriating in Ephemeral Art
Read the difference
Illustration is the passion of my life!
An Englishman, his Sicilian wife and an Italian / English Dictionary
Where You Live Happily Ever Laughter!
Smexy Historical Romance
cities - cultures - ocean - marine life
A broad blogs broadly on women’s & men's psychology: sex, relationships, equality
The Art of Glamorous Fantasy
Uncorked tales from Andalucia.
My love of food, fashion, and living life.
A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.
Walk along with me
Kindness Images, Videos, True Life Stories, Quotes, Personal Reflections and Meditations.
These letters are written to remind you just how much you matter, just how important you are, and just how beautiful the gift of life as a human is.
The truth is in here