Cooking for the single man the Bluefish way. Goverment health warning: ladies, if you p** your pants with laughter, please leave this post now, or read it with your eyes closed. The following scenario could be in a house near you. You have been warned !!
“Hi Jack. Your door was open so I thought I come round to see if you are okay. I just saw your wife running down your front yard, screaming, and I saw her grab the first man who could walk and went off with him. Got married a week ago! didn’t go too well then. Oh, you’re hungry. Can’t cook ?? No need to turn the football off. Wow, you watched 4 games today already. Yes please, put the Playboy down and do up your trousers.
Now, where’s your kitchen? Don’t know?? It looks like the bathroom but has loads of cupboards. Come on, Jack, up you get. Yes, you can bring your beer. Now, let’s have a look in your fridge. Um !! Got a lot of beer cans in here, in fact there is no room for anything else. Ah! an egg! Now, where’s the frying pan as I think I will show you how to fry an egg, on toast perhaps? No, we don’t need that saucepan Jack. The favourite one that you boil your dirty motorcycle chain in ! No, we don’t need……a here it is. The frying pan’s main purpose, Jack, IS for cooking! I understand that your wife hit you over the head with it, but it is for cooking. Ah, good there’s a spatula in this drawer. What ! It’s the replacement your wife bought as you used the original to pick up your dog’s pooh in the backyard ! Jack, how could you !!
We need some oil, Jack. Have a look through the cupboards and see if there is any sunflower oil. Olive oil? Butter? No? Where ARE you going? Okay, for demonstration purposes I suppose this will have to do. You kept this can of engine oil in a safe place, in your wife’s knickers drawer??
No toast then. You put a tube of glue in the toaster to soften it. It caught fire. You threw it out of the window where it hit the dog, which you have not seen since. Yes, it must be pretty lonely with no wife and no dog.
Right !! That’s the frying pan hot enough. Bang the egg on the side of the pan. That’s it, it’s cracked. Put your fingers in the crack and split the egg open and pour it into the pan. Easy. No, don’t worry about the yellow part smoking on the hob, or the shell in the pan. No, don’t eat…….I’ve got to go now Jack. Bye”
I could have run down the front yard, screaming, and gone off with the first woman I met, but I have to go round and see John who is sewing a button on his shirt with a staple gun.
Where books, movies, anger, confusion and musing live together in sin.
Just another WordPress.com site
Visual Perception- Hot Edgy Fashion Blog
Asian Australian. Multiculturalism
An Arts-Filled, Tasty And Sometimes-Loopy Jaunt Through Life
Simple Everyday Recipes
Book descriptions and excerpts, opinions, information on a variety of subjects...always open to comments
Just posting about life
OVER 10,000 STRONG!!!
Not just live and let live, but live and help live
Tales from the Forest: New art courses start 2019 visit: www.atelier88galicia.com
A Galaxy of Rewind
Taking ownership of your life brings power to make needed changes. True freedom begins with reliance on God to guide this process and provide what you need.
|| Food vs. Style||
A French girl's musings...
Peachy Not Preachy
Penang Island Local Travel Guide + Food Tours
Author of The Sound of Water and other books
A life in a photobooth.
Travels in Paradise
As I navigate through this life ...
Every step is a memory
Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s. Billy Wilder
My experiences in Italy and the world
Se nessuno ti vede mentre lo mangi, quel dolce non ha calorie.
Stories From The Heart.Emotions,and adventures of an Italian woman in Ireland
Curiosity run amok . . .
Unkempt Mind dribbling in the seethe
Just Another WordPress.com site..
This WordPress.com site is Pacific War era information
Illustration is the passion of my life!
Sharing my thoughts, poems, travel & art
Opinions are mine, thoughts are yours, comments most welcome. ZERO affiliates, paid advertisers or political partners. Nine years and still here.
WRITING LESBIAN FICTION, SCIENCE FICTION, AND FANTASY, SINCE THE 20TH CENTURY
Writing from a Baffledheart
My reflections of life in general.
Short bursts of curmudgeonry on any topic.
Life after the kids are grown
Des' Online Journal
The adventures of little read writing Hood
Fashion Blogger, Designer, Globetrotter
Growing older with silliness, high spirits and a lot of heart.
Mother, Nehiyaw, Metis, & Itisahwâkan - career communicator. This is my collection of opinions, stories, and the occasional rise to, or fall from, challenge. In other words, it's my party, I can fun if I want to. .................................................................. Artwork by aaronpaquette.net
My daily dance through a creative life as a female artist and photographer with lifelong depression.
my dreams are my disease, chasing them my only option
This is my story about my experience of sudden sensorineural hearing loss and how it affects my life.