While Natascha is sleeping in a Vienna airport hotel I thought I would have a go at Frank Angle’s challenge of 150 words. Natascha will be checking-in at 3 AM for her flight to Malaga, arriving at my home around midday today.
So here goes >>>
The old man had planned this outing with his grandson for months. He knew exactly where to take the young boy. Treasure Island was the beach that he played on as a child, imagining Pirates, great battles and treasures lost and found. He would take his grandson on the journey he played seventy four years ago.
The great day arrived. The day was perfect as he set out with his grandson along the beach telling stories of gold, dubloons and cutlasses.
To the old man the day was perfect. The slight breeze filled the sails while the Jolly Roger flapped the skull and cross bones.
He never felt the searing white flash !
World War Three was started and finished in an instant. All that was left of humanity was footprints in the sand.
Ralph xox ❤
I may not be able to answer any comments as real life and Natascha must come first now.
LOVE had decided that she would break cover and tell you all who she is when we are together here in southern Spain in a few days time.
On reading your wonderful comments in my previous post LOVE has decided to tell you all NOW who she is. LOVE is so thrilled that you are so happy for us and thanks you so much for your kind words and love.
So please say hello to my new love of my life, Natascha.
Natascha is 37, has lived all her life in Graz, Austria, speaks German and perfect English, loves her cat Murli, has a few medical problems which are improving day by day since becoming my girlfriend. Fantastic !
We are both WordPress Com bloggers, have so many things in common that it is uncanny and love each other so much and unconditionally. We both are now an item, one, together for ever.
Ralph xox ❤
This is what a man looks like when he realises that he is getting married in two weeks time.
Last Friday at very short notice, really short notice, friends of Jim met up in a local Spanish bar for his “sort of” stag night. It was daylight !
As for the women, they were organised ! Einar left his home for the bar with tales of Louise’s hen night in full swing. Table strewn with “confetti”, champagne bottles already empty downed through penis drinking straws. Erect jelly babies with added calories. And they were only a half an hour into it !
The men, another kettle of fish ! Well, three of them went fishing in the river (caught 6 barbel, returned to the water) then onto the bar for a beer or two, or three !
That was the extent of male organisation.
No stripper, not even paint stripper ! And the sheep ran away !
You know the game ! Someone sticks something on your forehead and you guess away !
Am I male ? Yes !
Am I upstanding, but generally hangs himself ? Yes !
Is hair a feature ? Yes !
Do I do one thing and then do something completely different ? Yes !
Am I Donald Trump ? Yessss ! You guessed it !
Cheers Jim & Louise ! Have a wonderful wedding in the UK on the 16th !
So I slowly made my way home, singing that after party classic !
I arrived outside my home. What’s going on ? My young Spanish neighbour Pedro, his three children and pet dog Niña were standing on their front balcony in total shock. It transpired that the new neighbour’s wife went mental over Pedro’s children doing things that children do. She shouted at them, saying things like, “Go home to Africa !” and promptly emptied her street sweepings on our door step.
It was Friday night ! Pedro called the local police.
Guess what I saw in the street over the weekend !
Oh boy !
Monday arrived. Jack hammer day ! All day ! Pretty much every square foot of the new neighbours house front has been ravaged by the jack hammer. The noise was awful and then it suddenly stopped. Yay !
The local police arrived to visit the new neighbours. Two and a half days after Pedro’s phone call, it must be a serious matter !
We could hear what the policeman was saying. Things like,
“Please be calm lady. Forget cleaning the street as the Town Hall has people to do that !“.
(She’s out sweeping the street now, 3 hours before this post goes live. So much for the local police advice ! Oh boy !)
As soon as he drove away the jack hammering restarted with a vengeance. For heaven’s sake. !
The new neighbour gave me the finger when I complained to him about the awful noise. That was a no-no. I have initiated payback. If it works I’ll update you my friends !
Remember: A great friend is a treasure, gold, a keeper; whereas an enemy is dust which is easily blown away and forgotten.
Oh no ! Not her ! 😦
Ralph xox ❤
This post is the latest on my New Neighbours (NewN) and how I had some payback with the help of Karma.
Please enjoy this very highbrow song which is relevant to what is coming.
Eastern European NewNs arrived from California to this quiet mountain village in southern Spain and purchased the house next door last year. Then all hell was let loose. The wife glared and screamed at villagers from her street balcony, banged on our walls late at night, played a scale on her piano for hours on end (nothing else) etc. Parked across the road, the 4 tyres of a Spanish friend’s car was slashed one night. An unknown villager retaliated, throwing old engine oil all over the front of the NewN house. The NewNs reported me, my young Spanish neighbours plus another to the Spanish Guardia Civil police and activated a denuncia stating that we did what they were actually doing themselves. I understand the police took no further action as she was crazy.
One: The other afternoon the Guardia Civil police were in the street taking photographs of the NewNs four CCTV cameras which are monitoring the street and public pathway to the river. In Spain CCTV monitoring of neighbours and public areas is totally illegal.
Two: The NewNs got permission from the Town Hall for a yellow line outside their garage, but not the yellow line across the road. He parks his car on it !
Three: Verified information is being sent to me about his “business” in California. A home rental agent. Post Office drop address in Camarillo. No office. Complaints of not refunding deposits when he didn’t activated rentals. His workmen stole from properties…. and HE COMPLAINED TO ME that his US$1.2 million Thousand Acre home had to be sold for US$800,000 ! Karma did her bit in the village by breaking his ankle when he was unloading his pianos and Regency furniture out of the huge shipping container from California.
Oh, an email from the NewNs ! That’s a first !
Someone’s in my water meter box ! Probably listening to them singing ! I sent an email.
At 12:11 I saw Cameron, your “builder”, fiddling in the water meter
box of 137 Cañada d r Tesoro. this is more evidence of tampering with
another property without permission.
BTW does Camarillo ring a bell ? Oh boy ! It’s all adding up.
I hated to do this post, nothing like me really, but I will not be trampled on.
Ralph xox ❤
As an older man I am completely useless in finding a woman to come and live with me. I have come up with a plan and that is to lay it all out on the table, be positive and open. After reading this you will come running to live with me.
One: You will be amazed that an older man can count without using the calculator on a smartphone.
Three: An older man will probably grab hold of your breast in the street. That’s okay, he just lost his balance.
Four: The older man will take longer to get dressed than you and you will probably find him wearing your underwear only because he picked up the nearest thing to put on.
Five: You may spend many hours in the shower with an older man because both of his hands are grasping tightly on the handrails as he can’t stand up properly.
Six: You may be dying to have sex with him whereas the older man may be dying when he has sex with you.
Seven: The older man may ask you why you are wearing a catapult when he sees your thong climbing out of your denims half way up your back.
Eight: The older man may offer to cook you an amazing dinner then forget why he is in the kitchen.
Nine: The older man is well travelled and while having a cuddle with you, will call you Yoko, Fatima, Gerta, Mavis and Honey-Bunny all in the same sentence.
Ten: The older man is great at listening when you tell him of your day of shoe shopping and he will answer you with 75 reasons of why a bicycle chain falls off its wheel sprocket.
See ! I am totally irresistible and incredible !
Oh boy !
Start running ! No ! This way ! 😉
Ralph xox ❤
The last time I went on holiday was to Israel in 2014. Time for a new adventure.
Haha ! Very funny China Cat !
Good ! The cats are asleep ! Now where shall I go ? *thinks*
What now ? What’s up China Cat ?
Oh dear, I am so sorry for leaving you. Even with a friend visiting for a couple of minutes each day to feed you, it was a difficult fortnight holiday for me as I was constantly worrying about you.
It was also difficult being on holiday with my hands as they are. I couldn’t pick up coins, cut food or do anything much with them … and … my trousers fell down so many times when I had to remove my belt at all the security check points. I might as well have gone on holiday just wearing my Superman boxers !
I think I’ll forget the whole idea and stay at home.
Oh boy !
What is your suggestion ?
Ralph xox ❤
Cue music !
Star Wars theme by John Williams
In a Spanish
mountain village far, far away
Hands Solo (very entertaining for him)
and his lazy, good-for-nothing furry side-kicks ….
…. were invaded by the Park Side.
Hands Solo (again ? nice !) dispatched CO0CO0 and robot China Cat on an important mission.
For heaven’s sake ! It’s a story of what happened ! Where was I ?
The Park Side, led by queen NewN (new neighbour) had denounced Hands Solo (three times in one post ! Whew !).
The denuncia was stopped and probably torn up by the Yeti Knights ….
…. I mean “Jedi Knights” (the Guardia Civil police) who put the brakes on her complaint, as the queen NewN was irritating, irrational and had tried to bribe a Jedi Knight to turn him to the Park Side. The Farce was with her.
The Park Side NewN queen illegally painted yellow lines on the galactic highway. The commander of the Town Hall was turned to the Park Side by refusing to eliminate these Park Side insignias.
…. from nowhere, in flew Fluke Streetwalker wielding his Light Sabre (it was very light, being made of balsa wood).
Aided by his Merry Men (ooops ! Wrong movie).
Fluke Streetwalker swung his Light Sabre time after time ….
…. until the yellow Park Side insignia was totally destroyed.
What will happen to the other Park Side insignia ?
Will the Park Side queen order a drone (builder) to repaint the destroyed insignia ?
Will Hands Solo (four times ! Exhausting, but fun !) be ravished by a Princess ?
Will CO0CO0 and robot China Cat be dispatched on an important mission ?
Will the furry side-kicks do anything to enhance this movie ?
Exciting, isn’t it ? But you guys are no fun. Oh boy !
I believe that thoughts are things.
Send out good thoughts, the right thoughts, and your world will right itself.
Send out bad thoughts, hate etc., it will come back and bite you BIG TIME !
A mixed bag of thoughts will just confuse your life.
The choice is yours.
Or do you get a headache just thinking ? 😉
Happy Easter !
Ralph xox ❤
PS: As all the post photo files I have saved are in a right mess, I am going to try to number my posts from now on. If I remember !
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