If you read this post I may have to kill you …. pleasurably.
Cue music !
~The Spies Who Spy On Me~
Do you remember my €1200 Toilet Brush post when I bought a new Samsung Smart TV ?
Well, it seems that the CIA and MI5 listen to me when my TV is TURNED OFF !!!
Click on the picture below for more information
~Jane’s Blonde File~
If you read this file I may have to kill you …. ecstatically
Agent Jane’s Blonde has been assigned to listen in to Ralph’s home.
Working in Room 36.24.36 adjacent to the Navel Attache in the CIA headquarters, Dangley, USA, she monitors Ralph day and night.
AJB is highly trained and is at the foot of a successful career ladder.
She came first in Disguises Class. No-one knows what she really looks like as she can change her look in an instant.
She excelled in her latest course on Interrogation. Tippex’ing teeth always produced results.
~Entering Room 36.24.36~
If you see what is in this Room, I may have to kill you …. excitedly
Many weeks of training in Room 36.24.36 preceded her assignment of listening in to Ralph’s conversations. She is now skilled at pressing the Red Button after the odd mishap.
Such as ….
…. and ….
She finally made the Red Button grade with the unwavering help of ABC, her mentor.
~What Happens When I Turn Off My TV~
If you find out I may have to kill you …. strokingly
My TV is now off.
Agent Jane’s Blonde: Quick ABC ! Press the Red Button and I’ll start recording !
Agent Button Cat: Okay Boss !
Cue Siren !
Dangley immediately goes on shut-down. Ralph’s words are piped thoughout the complex. Thousands of CIA employees stop what they’re doing (having a snooze) and stare at the speakers in anticipation of Ralph’s immortal words. Such as >>>
Will you stop trying to rip off my shirt !
I like it when you wriggle on my lap, it makes me hot !
No ! Licking my nose will not hurry me up to get your supper.
Whatever turns you on. Sniffing my slipper ? Whatever !
No ! You can’t eat my sandwich. Go and have a biscuit !
I know you get excited, but do stop scratching my leg !
Right ! Bedtime ! Coming ?
Oh boy !
Are you The Spy Who Loves Me, a definite Dr No, or even the one to give me the Goldfinger ?
Ralph xox ❤
All the images, MP3s and gifs are not mine, but my cats are ! Oh boy !