It’s time to own up and
celebate celebrate the fact that I have not had carnal carnival relations with a woman since 1990. That is 23 years give or take 7 months either way. The exact date of my last Close Encounter of the Female Kind I have long forgotten. Heck !! 23 years !! I suppose it’s a bit like riding a bike after so long. Trepidation ! Wobble a bit ! Fall off ! Get back on again and disappear into the sunset !!
I could have joined a monastery, but would have been
ejaculated ejected by the Abbot for secreting a laptop into my cell, flirting on the internet, playing the fool which would have been a dirty habit for an upstanding monk. But, not to be, thank heavens !!
23 years !! 23 years of missing out on cuddles, the perfume of a woman next to me, an expensive Canal aroma. The idle chit-chat, “Why are you so idle……go out to work !!”. Hey, I’m 66 !! The sharing of the bedding …. she has it all wrapped around her and I would have a tiny corner of a sheet. The patter of tiny feet at 3am followed by the loud flushing of the loo. The intimate moments ……. “No. I’ve got a headache !!”. Wake up in the morning, erect and ready for action ….. she’s gone !! An hour in the bathroom and I am dying for a pee !!
Thinking about it, maybe I should be alone in my bed after all …… or not !!
Have you some bedtime advice for me ??