From time to time I check the spam in my dashboard and quite regularly have to rescue a damsel in distress amongst the garbage emailed in my direction. Yesterday was no exception where I found a lady called Helen who made a lovely comment in my “I Hurt!!!!” post. I was just going to “not spam” her when I noticed the website associated with her……fibroid pain…..then I released her from spam and approved the comment. I was going to make this post on another subject but I have been coming across ladies with or who had fibroids including my companion (friend) for 20 years, who had fibroids and died when they became cancerous.
Elisa, the lady concerned in “I Hurt!!!!” was in tremendous pain and is still probably suffering while the tests are dragging on. I am in email contact with another lady who told me that a while ago she had ten pounds (10lb) of fibroids removed. That is almost 5 bags of sugar. Wow!! The suffering that she must have gone through I cannot imagine. I want to now talk to you about my companion, what happened to her and to me as she refused to have medical treatment.
She first realised that something was wrong when she had pains and started having periods for three weeks on and three weeks off at the age of 67, two years ago. She believed that Christ would heal her and was constantly buying herbal bottles of this, that and the other. Over time her condition worsened. No matter how much pressure her friends and myself lay upon her, she totally refused to go into hospital. I can understand why, for she really had awful hospital experiences in the past, such as being left on a trolley in a corridor for three hours, had her baby on the trolley with no one around for a long, long time. There were other such events which I have no need to go into.
But she suffered. One of her daughters came over from England to Spain but wasn’t much use. Just added to her growing collection of herbal remedies, talked with her late through the night and went out in the car during the day. I was left pretty much on my own to care for her. Around Christmas last year I had had enough of seeing her suffering and called the ambulance. The Spanish medico was fantastic, gave her a shot of morphine. From then on I was going to the doctor’s for her, to Ronda for a commode and breathing apparatus. She was then totally bed ridden. The Spanish medical authorities would not even consider giving me help until 10 months had past. Day and night I had to do everything for her. I had little or no sleep and no regular meal. The last three months of her life she was on morphine patches and we moved her to the ground floor. A couple of English friends, Hilda and Jessie, gave me an hour’s break in the morning and the same in the evening. All the time she refused to go into hospital. I could have walked away at any time as we were only friends with no ties but I could not and would not do that. Eventually she wasted away.
Just to finish may I say one thing. If you have got a problem that can be solved, please do not let it get worse, because whatever your belief, others get involved and get dragged along with you and suffer as much as you do.
Helen’s Fibroid Pain website http://fibroidpain.org/
Meredith’s Tumor Fibroid http://afibroidsmiracle.com/tumor-fibroid/
What a bittersweet story….how sad for her pain and suffering, yet how touching was your friendship. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Denise. Thank you for your lovely comment. I have not been over your way for a while which I must remedy soon. Take care. Ralph x
Very touching, Ralph… I am sorry that you had to go through such a traumatic experience, and yet, moments in life such as this one, prove us as people…. and this certainly proved who you are…! Well done, Ralph; you’d be a good bloke to have ‘on-side’…
So sorry about your lady; such a terrible experience for her… and good for you to highlight a condition that many must be suffering…
Have a ‘brighter’ day…!
Thank you so much Carolyn for you kind and touching comment. I’ll be “on-side” if you need me to be.
Have a lovely weekend. Ralph x
I hear you.
Hi Elisa. Okay. That’s good. Take care. Your friend. Ralph x
Very sobering story… That’s certainly a tough wake up call.
Hi Sylvie. Thank you so much for your comment. It surely is a wake up call for the ladies. I still like your poetry. Have fun this weekend. Ralph x
It is indeed.
I’m glad you still like my poems! You have fun, too! x
Thanks Sylvie
You are a kind friend, indeed. We all can relate to your story, I am sure. Thank you for that reminder of the choices we make, having an affect on those around us.
Hello again Tina. Thank you for your enlightening comment. A lot of people when they are swamped with a problem, ie. a gambler who spends the weekly housekeeping money or a situation such as my friend, do not take into account the effect on those around that person, sometimes oblivious to the fact that what they are doing is traumatic to those around them who love them. These people must somehow come to the realisation themselves that what they are doing is harming others and change their ways. I am not sure what tool is needed to create that change in attitude. Shouting or walking away does not help the situation. Love is usually trampled on. Maybe the only answer is to take control of that person’s problem and denying that person access until realisation hits home. Anyway Tina take care and I look forward to your comments. Ralph x
I admire your strength!
God Bless You, Ralph!
I love your name Lady Deidre
I wish the strength was real, for at the time, the last three months I was on automatic…..in a daze almost. Still I am gradually recovering now. I just wonder how many other people are in the same situation as I was but having to care for years. Bless them.
I can tell you all now that the whole affair brought on quite bad shaking in my hands. I thought I had Parkinsons’. I have been going through a series of hospital tests including a brain scan and yesterday I was informed by the neurologist that I do NOT have Parkinsons’.(Yippee!!) But a genetic disorder. I was really scared for my future but now with tablets I can move forward in my life without any more worry. The full story is on my Parkinsons’ blog.
Take care Lady Deidre. Ralph x
Hello my caring friend. Ralph you are just about the nicest person I’ve been visiting since I began blogging. I’m not joking. These problems are very hard (my daughter has lived with this issue for years) and to have you make that extra difference is generous and very warm hearted of you. Thank you for being you, (I know I’ve said it before but felt the need to say it again) sending hugs to you across these many miles, Penny
xxx
Hello my wise friend Penny. I am sorry to hear about your daughter. What can I say except I hope that they can fix her up soon. Thank you again for your kind comment Penny and hugs gratefully received and returned to you. Ralph x
Hi Ralph, thank you. Her pain is much deeper than you can imagine, she determined to not let it slow her down, but 2 years ago, while she was recovering from H1N1, her husband (love of her and her families life was killed suddenly by a careless driver and then his parents attempted to take their home from them! (we won – she owns her home now!) I have lived with them since then helping as I can. My daughter is a strong and couragous woman slowly putting the pieces of her life back together. Her website that she started a few months ago to help her heal is http://reconstructingchristina.com/ She is a true testament to strength and bravery! Please visit her website if you have a chance my friend! Penny
Wow Penny my heart goes out to your daughter. I will visit her blog as soon as I have replied to these two comments. Hugs to both of you. Ralph x
She was blessed to have you.
True what you say at the end of the post. Sometimes people think they are doing others a favor by not taking care of things – thinking why concern others…or whatever. But – it really turns out to be the opposite.
Hello RoSy. Two years ago I was willing to drag her by the hair screaming to hospital, metaphorically speaking. Spain has some weird laws. Family comes first in most legal issues. As I was only her friend I had no legal rights to commence such an action and her 40 year old children just didn’t bother or care. I told them to take control and nothing ! So we both suffered for two years. Take care. Ralph x
Hi Ralph … the stories was touching my heart
, I can said that you are a great friend. Well I wish I had a good friend just like you. Have a nice weekend 
. Thanks
Hi friend Yessie!! Hopefully we are all friends here. You can always email someone if you need to talk or make friends. Sometimes talking to a stranger helps. I have a couple of favourite sayings. ” A stranger is a friend you have not yet met ” and the other, well, jokingly for a man ” You’re as young as the woman you feel ”
You too, Yessie, have a lovely weekend. Ralph x
Hi Ralph ….. maybe one day I will write some email to you lo ….
Thanks
Any time
You were a great friend to her, and it shows your caring nature. It is very sad that it ended this way though.
My thoughts are with you
Hi Alistair. Like the hat !! I have seen you around and thank you for your LIKES. Thank you so much for your kind comment. Take care. Ralph
Thanks Ralph, and you’re welcome
Send copies to doctors. Some are so ignorant of pain because they can’t see it or measure it, and that causes needless suffering. And certainly the treatment we receive today will affect the treatment we seek tomorrow.
Hi Alice. I am not quite sure how I could send copies out. Maybe other bloggers will copy the post anyway. The rest of your comment I totally agree with. Have a great weekend. Ralph x
Ralph, first of all, congratulations on NOT having Parkinson’s. What a weight off your mind that must be. I think you were wonderful to your companion, but I also feel you were asked to give too much. I think we must take the responsibility for our decisions, and if not going to hospital or getting treatment is one of them, we can’t expect others to take up our burdens. You did, and
it was the most amazing choice – you are a hero. Hope you have a great life in front of you now, free of worry about your health and full of fun and friendship .
Thank you Valerie, it IS quite a weight lifted off my mind. So I am normal…..hmmmm!! Thank you so much for your kind words, but I think I did what most people I have met around blogland will do. There are some wonderful guys and gals I have met during the three months I have been a blogaholic.
Thank you so much Valerie I do treasure every word. Hugs. Ralph x
Hi Ralph… Wish you n your friend a good health. Have a great day.
Hi Snow White. I am afraid that my friend died in March this year. Please do not be upset, English is very difficult to understand especially expressions and sometimes we say things in a round about way. I am okay with you. Okay? Hugs. Ralph x
ohh well, I could not read the entire post… just had a cursory glance in a matter of few seconds. I am out of time n WP these days. Sorry to hear that n also for not not reading the story properly. I know that did not do justice with the story. Sorry again. take care of yourself. keep doing good. HS
No problem Himani. Don’t worry. That’s fine. I hope that your blog doesn’t disappear for good. Let me know what you are doing with it. Take care. Ralph x
Very touching, Ralph! And it was really nice of you to give a message to everyone out here for always being a help and a companion to your friends and loved ones. & also, for not being a pain in the ass for others. A great post. You must always advice your friends the best and hope the best for them even if they deny it.
Take care, Ralph
You have a lot of wisdom and graciousness in your young head Sarin and I appreciate every word that you have said. Have a lovely evening. Ralph x
& your every reply always means a lot to me, thank YOU for such kind words and for sharing the amazing stuff.
You are welcome Sarin
I think many times when we see the patient we forget about the caregiver, who is suffering equally but in other ways. I watched my dearest friend Barb pass away from a rare genetic disease and soon realized what a toll it was playing on her husband as well. You were a great friend to her Ralph, that is apparent. It speaks to what a great man you are.
I am very touched by your kind words LuAnn and you HAVE brought home the fact that it is not only the one who suffers the problem but those around as well. They are generally the forgotten ones in all this. So what praise you have bestowed upon me, I pass on to them. Thank you LuAnn and keep the pedal to the metal metaphorically speaking. Hugs to both of you. Ralph x
Hi. I just found this blog in spam by Merideth about Tumor Fibroids
http://afibroidsmiracle.com/tumor-fibroid/
Ralph x
Its very nice and good of u to help this lovely lady and for being with her in her pain n crisis. You are indeed a beautiful n a good human being Ralph dear. You also take care of ur self, Always there with u. Tc, God bless ya.
Hello Madhu. You have always been kind and generous to me in your comments and this one exceeds all the others. Thank you so much and I like the thought of you being here with me. Take care. Ralph x
Im sorry about what happened to your friend. You’re a good man .
You are so kind with your comment Renxkyoko. Thank you. Hugs. Ralph x
Hi Ralph
Thanks for leaving a comment on the fibroidpain.org site
I have place a link to your site on the article about fibroid pain
Best wishes
Hi Helen. I have just seen it and I hope this post can be a small help to you. Take care. Ralph x