Time for a bit of fun.
You’re going to laugh at this !!
$10 says you will !!
Time for a bit of fun.
You’re going to laugh at this !!
$10 says you will !!
Countries that I have visited
Countries where I have lived and worked
Yesterday I received this comment which got me thinking about where I have been in the world during my life and in the following lists, things happened to the countries within WEEKS after I moved out.
(in no particular date order)
Yemen……… British handed over Aden to Yemen
West Germany……… The Berlin Wall came down
Hongkong……….. British handed over Hongkong to China
Iran………. Ayatolla took control
Italy……… Government always changing. Hehe !!
(in no particular date order)
Northern Ireland…………. The Troubles
Saudi Arabia…………. Gulf War
Cyprus…………. Turkey invaded
Nigeria……… Biafran Civil War
Lebanon……… Civil War
A couple of these incidents were expected, but the majority came out of the blue.
I reckon it’s all my fault !!
I had a wonderful time in every country I have worked in, lived in and visited !!!
I am thinking of leaving Spain to go somewhere on holiday this year
After our lovely Valentine’s Day out I asked you what you felt about it and you replied:
You were queuing up to marry me
Seven of you want to marry me including someone’s Great Gran.
I just hope and pray that the seven of you are not amongst the twelve who have psychoanalysts
So is a June wedding on ?
As I don’t know you, it would have to be one of those Indian arranged marriages. You arrange it and I’ll get married
I will have to think about the implications !!
As we are now engaged, each of you would need a rock on your finger
And maybe some gold bling
I’d need a bigger place to live
With a small walk-in wardrobe for your clothes…….
I hope not to trip over your trainers when you’ve finished jogging !!
I would definitely need a bigger bed
Plus somewhere to watch your favourite soap
And somewhere for me to hide when I’m in the doghouse !!
It would have to be a quiet wedding
(Credits: Thank you Mr Google and contributors for these fine photos)
Now I am starting to panic !!
Many of my local friends tell me to stay as I am, single, as women are trouble !!
The last post just grew and grew. It was almost on the point of exploding so I had to do something.
A NEW POST !!
Last Sunday I had a photoshoot with your cards
“OMG. What’s Daddy up to now ??
NOTHING for 5 days !! Then this morning (18Feb14) 3 fabulous cards arrived !!
We had a long wait for your card to arrive, didn’t we, Elizabeth ?? But it was really worth the wait. I love it, as it was hand made, the words so poetic and you enclosed extra stamps for Pedro as well !! Fantastic !! Thank you so much my friend. Lots of love, Ralphie xoxoxox
KATIE !!! I never expected a card from you. You kept this a surprise !! An all singing and dancing card. Wow. Thank you soooo much my all singing and dancing friend from Florida. A really big surprise hug for you Katie. Ralph xoxoxox
……..I have to show everyone your envelope. I have never seen so many stamps !!!
I bet the Post Office clerk had to take the day off after franking this envelope !!
Katie !! Thank you so much from Pedro (in advance) for these and the extra stamps enclosed xoxox
So sweet Rene !! If I was Cupid then the arrow backfired and pierced my heart. Love you !!
Thank you dear friend, not only because of the card
What it came in !!
A very heavy package which cost you a fortune to send
Wow-o-wow !! Look at all these goodies !!
Vermont maple syrup, a pack of note cards, your Valentine’s card, extra stamps, a soft heart (love it !!) and chocolate bars.
What fantastic gifts for me, my dear Rene. Thank you sooooo much. A really big hug. Ralph xoxoxoxoxox
These are the enclosed items which you explain so well in your letter dear Pelly
Wow. Thank you so much my friend for all these lovely items and loads of extra stamps which went with the rest to Pedro this morning. I am really thrilled and so happy. Hugs and kisses. Ralph xoxoxox
Yay !! Your package has finally arrived my dear friend, just in time for the stamps to go in with the rest of them to Pedro. I love your card and the Survival Chocolate. Is this survival of the bed “experiment” or do you know something that I don’t know ? hehe. Lots of hugs for you Daniela and a big thank you. Ralph xoxoxo
How lovely it is that you sent this card to me my friend. Your portrait of me is uncanny And as my fashion consultant it looks like I have to wear a white shirt. Thank you so much dear Julita for sending me the first Polish stamps. Big hug. Ralph xoxxox
Oh, this video is a fantastic late addition to my Valentine’s Days. So different, yet very welcome from a special friend. Thank you so much Sheri. Love you. Ralph xoxoxox
You have been so kind to me (and Pedro), all of you, who have sent something for Valentine’s Day.
I have just received this email from Pedro 20:00hrs 21Feb14
Hola Ralph, ante todo es mi deseo que te encuentres bien de salud ya que es lo más importante que tenemos.
En segundo lugar informarte que hoy he recibido tu carta con los sellos que has conseguido. Muchas gracias por el interés que has tenido y las molestias ocasionadas para conseguirme estos sellos.
En cuanto a tus amigos, comunicale mi agradecimiento por la repuesta que han tenido para enviar los sellos, con los cuales he aumentado un poquito mi colección y a los que les doy mil gracias, y aún sin conocerlos, al ser tus amigos, yo también los consideros amigos mios.
Con cariño, recibe un abrazo de tu amigo
Hi Ralph foremost is my desire to find you in good health as it is the most important thing we have.
Secondly inform you that I received your letter today with the stamps you’ve collected. Thank you very much for the interest you’ve had and inconvenience to get me these stamps.
As for your friends, Communicate my thanks for the response they have had to send the stamps, with which I increased my collection a bit and I give you a thousand thanks, and even without knowing, being friends, I also consideros my friends.
Love, gets a hug from your friend
I was really excited to receive all your different cards and messages. I had great fun opening your cards and e-cards. Some of you have gone to great lengths in sending these to me. Others with special poems and words which I loved to read. Even your comments in previous posts have been fantastic. Pedro will be thrilled with the variety of stamps and I am thrilled with your generosity and your beautiful cards. Thank you so much.
(I have linked all the Avatars to your blogs)
Please enjoy everything you have sent me. I love you all. Ralph xox
Fantastic !! Thank you so much dear Pelly. Kisses. Ralph xxxx
Thank you for all the work you put into this Drake and for your Sister’s kiss. If she wants to visit, please ask her to wear this outfit. hehe. A kiss back to her. Ralph x
What a completely different Valentine e-card Resa my friend. Love it !! Ralph xoox
So I finally caught sight of your smile Sylvia and a bonus hug Thank you so much. Ralph xxx
Wow. Thank you so much my huggable friend. I will make sure that this post is finished by lunchtime on the 13th as Valentine’s Day will be starting in Australia then. Midnight ! Love your e-card, Carolyn. Ralph xxxx
Your e-card was so unexpected Debby even though you said you were going to do something. It’s wonderful. Thank you so much. Ralph xxxxxx
So funny ! You and Cupid are really having fun, Beth !! Thank you so much for your great card. Love Ralph xoox
Celeste, it’s got to be you !! I do hope so or I may have to grovel a lot to the other blogger. Just like I do to you ;) Big hugs. Ralph xxxoooxxx
Haha !! You owned up !! I read your comment below !! Thanks for the card Celeste. Loved it !! xoxox
I really looked forward this morning in opening your two, yes, two cards full of stamps as well as these lovely cards Gallivanta, and you had not let me down. So many stamps for Pedro ,the village policeman who collects stamps, who will be over the moon with what you have sent !! I will wait a few more days before sending them on as there may be late comers to this party. Of course I will be your Valentine, my friend. Love, with thanks. Ralph xxooxxoo
Now that’s what I call a Valentine’s card HD. Self portrait ? Just asking I wonder where this card will be placed ? Thank you so much my good friend. Love Ralph xoxox
Thank you so much for your massive card MVBFM. Yes, massive !! 1 +1/2 the size of my scanner. Not having a panorama tool I had to use “print/scan” and paste into Paint. This was the best I could do after many tries. But even so, your card is so different and welcome with Ute‘s stamp. Big hugs. Ralph xoxox
Hi Mary !! I never, ever expected a card from you my friend. I had no idea who had send me the card. The envelope said New York. I was stumped until I opened it this morning, 12th Feb 2014, and lo and behold it was from you Mary. I am overwhelmed that you sent me this card and I thank you so, so much my friend. Love and hugs. Ralph xxxoooxxx
When I opened this card, dear Secret Admirer, all sorts of thoughts flooded in. Is it from a Spanish lady…… flamingo = almost flamenco. Or maybe Sculley FBI….they’re secret !! Possibly from my recent spammer ? I still have no idea who you are, but no matter, your card is beautiful and your words are exquisite. Thank you so much. Big hugs (even if you are a man hehe ) Ralph xoxoxox
Oooh Abby !! You are such a teaser, but for a Secret Admirer I could not ask for better !! Thanks for owning up as the mysterious Someone in the 3 comments (below) you made. Love you !! Ralph xoxoxox
Wow, RoSy, I am really impressed with your home-made card. Such a lot of work you must have done to create this fun Valentine’s card. I really love it my sweet friend and thank you for your lovely words. Lots of love. Ralph oooxxxooo
Hey Serach the poet !! What wonderful kind words. Thank you so much my friend. My face must look like the front of your card after reading your poem Lots of love. Ralph xoxoxox
Well Yvonne it must have been weeks that your card has been on my shelf, as yours was the first postal one to arrive. And now it’s opened. Yippee !! The first thing I noticed was the kiss on the envelope. You were the only one, so that’s special. What else was special was your card is 3D. Shame that doesn’t show up in scanning it. When I first saw the “Bset” I thought…..ah ha, Yvonne has sent me a spam card …. but I suppose “Bset” is about right for me. hehe. Thank you so much for sending it and your travels on the water bus etc. to get it to me. My love and hugs. Ralph xxxoooxxx
Yvonne’s niece Alida and the little boy Jack.
Thank you so much Alida for sending this card all the way from Canada. I really do appreciate it. Happy Valentine’s day as you’re not a blogger…..or are you ?
Hi Jack. I have a treat for you. Watch this:
(Just in case the postman was late)
Thank you so much Aquileana for this lovely e-card and it’s still Valentine’s Day !! Big hugs. Ralph xox
And I know of 3 more cards to come yet !! Brilliant !!
Whew ! Finished ! It’s amazing how many fiddly bits to do to construct two posts which took me two days. But do you know what ? It was worth every minute, because of you my friends. You were game and came up with the goods. 6 e-cards and 12 postal cards. So much more than I ever expected. All of you, who just read my posts. All of you, who like or comment. To me, you are all gems. I class you as good friends who I’ll never forget. I may be alone physically on Valentine’s Day, but I am never, ever alone with you dear ones.
And finally Valentine’s day has arrived !! Yippee !
But I had nobody to go out with (all say AWW !!)
Then I got your call. Your special call
You were so excited. You talked to your friends about how you fancied me.
I had a bath with my rubber ducks.
Combed my hair. I really wanted to look my best for you.
We met up early. Just you and me. I thought long and hard where to take you for breakfast.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Of course !!
I presented you with a small teddy as I know women love teddy bears.
We dined well. I loved your company.
We talked and talked. General guidelines were agreed on for the day.
No sex !!
We talked about geography.
And what, as a man, I think about.
And you sighed. A wonderful sigh. You never said a word. I never knew what you were thinking about.
As a treat I took you to see the gymnastics where we supported our country.
We left for lunch. I laid on a band and we ate them. Delicious !!
We went for a walk. Hand in hand. Your hand in your hand and mine in mine.
We got lost in the street on the way to the park.
Passing beautiful people on the way
You told me all about your kitty at home. A pretty little thing, you said.
Finally we reached the park
And I told you how I loved swimming in the ocean with the pretty fish
You told me about the differences between men and women
It was getting late and you were getting cold. So being the gentleman I am, I draped my coat around you.
I had thought long and hard about where to take you for that special evening dinner.
As it is Valentine’s day, a topless restaurant is a no-no !!
So I chose this top of the range 5 star Egg-On-Ronny restaurant
You loved it here after I gave you a small token of our friendship. I still don’t know why !!
We drank the finest wines
I watched as you ate. So little passed your lips and you ate with such delicacy. I was starting to have feelings for you.
We had bonded. You took me by the hand away on a dirty weekend
Then we parted. You went home for a welcome rest
And I went to mine.
Will we meet again ? I’m waiting for your call !!
AND A BIG HUG !!
(Credits: All these pictures supplied by Mr Google and contributors. Thank you)
A very happy, loving, caring and wonderful Valentine’s Day to you my special blogging friends.
A really big hug and loads of kisses.
I think you can vote as many times as you wish. Anything other than “I love it” or “I want to marry you” will be ignored. (Well, governments do THAT !!)
I was not going to write another post until Valentine’s Day
I have a story to tell about what NOT to do in comments and save yourself a lot of aggravation.
Since I have been blogging 19 months ago, between us we have written almost 10,000 comments. Fantastic !! Thank you.
In among those comments, I approved and answered 4 anonymous comments, all relevant to the posts. ie. “Lovely words” in a poetry post etc. I knew nothing about spam, spammers, hackers, trolls. I did not even think about them. All I knew that spam tried to sell me viagra (which is no use to me as I don’t have a girlfriend or I didn’t need somewhere to hang my hat ) Even if I did know about them then, I did not know what to look for in a bad comment.
A few days ago my notifier suddenly started to fill up with weird comments and it went on and on.
Dozens of them !!
I asked for help to stop it in the WP Forum. All I was told and the ONLY advice I received from WP Staff/Volunteers was to click Spam and over time Akismet would learn, but I had dozens in my notifier !!
I needed a way to stop it fast !! I found that a link and IP numbers were common in many of these comments in my notifier.
I suddenly remembered Comment Blacklist in:
I could not get the information I needed on my notifier as I had hit spam. I needed the information to blacklist each one.
I clicked on “1,145 comments” in pic#3
See the Ebony comment ! It does not have link under the Mystery Man avatar. I know that NOW !! Not then !! It’s BAD !! The Takeshi Face Book one is BAD as well !!
Because that Ebony comment was found in my notifier. I copied the number underneath and pasted it in my Comment Blacklist.
Those I have blacklisted, the top 4 are the most prolific and the rest entered my notifier recently. I am not going to take a chance that Akismet may go down. So I now have that extra protection by blacklisting. A bad comment every minute is still being intercepted by Akismet in my blog.
BUT SOME STILL GET THROUGH !!
Yesterday, in the WP Forum, I was told to go back through all my comments to see if I had approved any bad comments which look like the Ebony one above. It took me hours to go through 493 pages, but I found 4 approved anonymous ones which I spammed and I also trashed my replies. I also found some anonymous cell phone comments. I thought I knew who they were from, but I trashed them anyway. My comments are now clean.
Over the last couple of years Karma has kissed me on the forehead, taken me by the hand and has shown me the reality of her gifts, both remembering and reproaching. Tonight I have realised that Karma is real through kindness, teaching and love.
I am writing to the son and daughter of your mother who died. You inherit her house and bank account. Your mother lived with a companion for over 20 years. You agreed in front of a lawyer that the companion should stay rent free in the house who will pay all the bills, taxes, repairs and upkeep of the house until the house is sold. You got greedy, demanded that the companion paid 4 times the rental value or buy the property at 4 times the retail value. The companion refused, but offered to pay a sensible rent or buy at its true valuation. Within days the companion received a 3 day legal notice to vacate or else !! You employed an Estate Agent/Realtor to change the locks, remove all your mother’s possessions: jewellery, mother’s cremated ashes, clothes, photos, everything and put it in the garbage !!
The property then laid empty for 18 months, unsold, unloved and uncared for. Last week a burglar got in and removed most of the components from the electrical and plumbing items. The place is trashed with everything dismantled, stolen or scattered on the floors.
The Spanish police caught him in the act. Arrested him. Then let him go as they could find no forced entry or prove that he had damaged the items.
So, you, son and daughter are left with a trashed, cold, damp, uninsured, unsellable property surrounded by many other properties that are cheaper and in better condition. And your bank account is empty.
You are now experiencing a slippery slope which you, yourselves have created
I am teaching you a lesson, son and daughter. You have forgotten love and kindness. Remember !!
With love. Karma
And now to the companion had cared for the mother 24/7 pretty much alone for two years until she died of cancer.
On eviction, local Spanish friends banded together and took the companion in their hearts on the route of wonders. Everyone helped. An apartment, moving the companion’s possessions, renovations, etc. The mother’s ashes were taken to the river by the companion and poured into the water she loved. The companion found that heaven unfolded, encompassed and everything was laid on for life essentials and assistance in health.
Ralph. You have remembered love and kindness, so have been rewarded.
With love. Karma
I would not be here now if any of these things did not happen. I forgive the son & daughter. I have a lovely apartment, help for everything, living and medical. I did not expect any of this. I did not ask for it. I must be blessed. All I can say is thank you.
The cherry on the cake is you dear friends. A blogosphere of wonders. Beautiful people with such great talents, illnesses, stories unspoken before, mutual love and caring for each other. I am honoured to have met you all.
I would love to take you by the hand to listen and watch this beautiful video. I will dry your real tears as we journey into pure imagination because that is where we should all be, loved and happy.
I found this in the WP forum
Weird spam messages that don’t have any links are often “probes.”
The idea is fairly straightforward:
1. A spammer spams a forum, blog, guestbook, Web form, or whatever with a seemingly innocuous post. Sometimes, the post is generated by software that produces gibberish that sounds like it might be plausible. Each one of these posts is unique; the spammer never uses the same exact one twice.
2. After a day or two, the spammer uses automated search tools to search for the spam posts. The automated software keeps a database of the unique spam posts and the forum, blog, guestbook, or whatever where it was posted.
3. If the Web search sees the spam post, then the spammer knows that particular blog or forum or whatever isn’t running effective antispam or IP blacklisting defenses. Now all of a sudden the address of that blog is more valuable to the spammers; the address of the forum or blog will likely be sold to other spammers and “black hat SEO” operators, and slammed with spam like whoa.
I approved an anonymous poetry comment in a poetry post in January. It seemed so real. But it was a spammer that probed my blog and many others are now attacking my blog with over 5000 weird comments, all now going into my dashboard spam. It was my fault. I didn’t check to see if the commenter was real. And I approved where I shouldn’t have.
And now to the real fun bit !! Your, as yet, unopened Valentine cards !! Thank you so much, you are so sweet !!
DO YOU SEE YOURS HERE ?
Canada: Comox 1
Italy: Forli 1
Italy: Venezia 1
New Zealand: Strowan 2
USA: Carol ?? Stream ?? 1
USA: New York 1
USA: Ann Arbor 1
USA: Santa Ana 1
TOTAL 9 at 05Feb14. Fantastic !!
9 DAYS TO GO !!
This is my last post until Valentine’s Day. So I had better go and find some clean socks and underwear for then
All my love. Ralph xox
A lot has happened medically to me this week while you were having fun with my last post.
David and I had appointments around the same time in Ronda Hospital, Spain, last Monday. We arrived on time and went our separate ways. Fighting my way through the crowds I eventually saw Angela, my Neurologist, and was in with her for an hour. As she was alone with me and I had no interpreter, she opened up and her English was brilliant. I gave her a letter of symptoms since I had those 25 goblins, in which I gave her a hug and asked if she was going to send me a Valentine Card. She laughed.
So, loads of tests confirmed a slight improvement to my hands and walking except for my eyes. I can see dots and have scintillating aura regularly now.
Angela got straight on the phone to the Optician along the hall. Pulled some strings …..
……and got me straight past the queue of dozens of patients and in there for an eye examination. He said that it was normal for my age to have floating debris in the eyes and not to worry about the aura.
David had to get home as I was so long. My transport now disappeared, I took a taxi (€5) to the railway station. Had a freezing hour and a half wait !!! I should have brought a warmer coat !!!
Eventually the train arrived (€5 for the 45 minute ride). It was lovely and warm, the views out of the window were spectacular and I was home in an hour.
I was happily blogging Wednesday afternoon when the phone rang. A Spaniard, using his best English, asked me to go to a medical centre somewhere in the centre of Ronda at 3:15 in the morning next Friday and bring my DNA…….
…… Half an hour of unravelling utter confusion it transpired that I was to have a MRI scan in a private clinic in Ronda at 3:15 the afternoon of Friday (two days time) and to bring my DNI ( a number foreigners are given who are resident in Spain).
It seems that Angela had been pulling strings again !!
Toni (featured in my previous post) drove me to the MRI reception in Ronda. As we were early we decided to find a cafe and enjoy a coffee.
We could not resist a scrumptious slice of cheesecake ……
….with a strong aromatic coffee. Toni helped me to cut the cake and put sugar in my coffee. I use a drinking straw as coffee goes everywhere when I try to lift a tiny handled cup ……
Arriving back at reception Toni filled out the forms (I just can’t write !!). A question I said yes to, was “are you pregnant ?”. That should confuse them !!
Leaving Toni, I was led onto the bridge of the Star Trek Enterprise
(Credit: 2006 Fellow Emily Jacobs with a screen of a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) brain. Fellow Emily Jacobs at the Helen Wills Neuroscience Institute)
Where I was laid on the tray of the MRI scanner……
(Credit: Uni Regensburg MRI scanner)
A visor pulled down over my head ( nearest I got to be a knight in shining armour ) . I was given a panic button. A warm blanket placed over me and told not to move an inch !!
Then it started !! An hour with my eyes closed, as there was nothing to see, not moving, just listening to the tremendous noise of a jack hammer …..
……intermingled with a cat playing bongos…..
…..mixed with a bird (??) twittering in a cage……
……and metal woodpeckers having sex in an empty oil drum.
After an hour of these loud noises over and over again, I really did need a MRI scan !!!
So what will they find in my brain ? I reckon a goldfish in a bowl
And what’s next ? More goblins (IV drips) !!
But it does have it’s advantages
(Credits: All pictures credited to Mr Google)
This is the amazing surprise created by Pedro’s wife Toni, mother and friend who lives next door in my local village in Andalucia, Spain
Toni also works on the meat counter of a store 10miles/15km away. She drives up the windy mountain road and back normally twice a day. The work can be arduous, carrying heavy loads from trucks to the fridge etc. Pedro looks after the children, but if working, the grandparents take over.
I have been following Tracy’s blog “Rambles by Desertrose” for a while. In this recent post she went on a photoshoot with her daughter and her daughter’s friend. The results are brilliant. While commenting, I remembered the stunning photos of Toni which she showed me on her cell phone. I let Toni see Tracy’s post and she agreed to let me publish her photoshoot. In fact, she was thrilled. Her husband gave me a memory stick containing these photographs.
Although Toni is Spanish and speaks only a few words of English, with the help of Google Translate she will be reading all of your comments. Enjoy her portfolio !!
I am !!
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