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Oklahoma Moore Tornado

LyannV's relatives' house after the Moore Tornado

LyannV’s relatives’ house after the Moore Tornado

My mind has not been on blogging today as I have 2 friends that live in the Oklahoma Moore area. As you must know by now a massive tornado scythed through Moore leaving utter devastation. I emailed LyannV (who regularly comments in my blog and her face can be seen four times on the 55 Blogs I Follow on my sidebar) who lives just east of Moore/Norman and I had no reply for quite a while. She managed to get to an internet cafe and emailed me with the news that her family are okay, extremely shaken up. Her house is okay but without water or electricity. A relation of hers live in the path of the tornado. The house was totally destroyed, their dog was killed but they survived by crouching in their bathroom Another friend lives near Lake Draper, east of Oklahoma City and saw the tornado barrelling towards the house and luckily at that point the tornado lifted off the ground and vanished back into the clouds. Please pray for them, and all that are enduring great hardships and loss at this time.

I was just about to post this and an email has just come in from LyannV which says

“Hi Ralph,

 Thank you so much for checking on all of us – you are such a sweetheart!

My children go to Norman schools – they were kept yesterday until the storm passed. I stayed with friends who have a storm shelter, up the road. The main tornado hit about halfway from my house to the rink, but there smaller ones that hit nearby – power lines were down everywhere. Fortunately they have been able to restore power to my neighborhood. 

 We have family and friends who live in Moore who have lost everything, but at least they have their lives. It’s very strange to see familiar places where we visit and shop, all totally devastated. I am so thankful we weren’t on the highway coming home from the rink – the tornado hit the highway exactly where we drive back and forth, and there were fatalities there where people couldn’t get off the road.

I’m also grateful I knew better than to chase that tornado :)

Right now we’re getting ready to go to Eva’s elementary school graduation. 

I’ll check back soon :)

Hugs and Love,

Lyann

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A Short Comedy Play by Ralph the Playwright

A stage curtainseparatorTHE SCENE

The drawing room of a Stately Home

Ladies and Gentlemen seated. Servants in a line. Main players at front of stage.

Belvoir Castle in Leicestershire, England

Belvoir Castle in Leicestershire, England

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THE CAST

Inspector Clink in civilian clothes

The Maid. (French of course !!)

Ten ladies and gentlemen finely dressed

Twenty downstairs servants

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Let the play begin

Let the play begin

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INSPECTOR CLINK: A terrible, terrible thing has happened tonight. Lady Nosegay was found murdered in her bedroom while dressing for the Ball.

ALL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND SERVANTS: (gasp) Oh No !!

THE MAID: I did it !!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: (gasp) Oh No !!

INSPECTOR CLINK: I have called you all in here to find out who killed Lady Nosegay and none of us will leave until I find out who perpetrated such a dastardly deed.

THE MAID : I did it !!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: (gasp) Oh No !!

INSPECTOR CLINK:  The murderer had left many clues. A rope was used to strangle her.

THE MAID: (produces a rope from under her skirt and throws it to the feet of Inspector Clink) I did it !!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: (gasp) Oh No !!

INSPECTOR CLINK: Lady Nosegay was stabbed three times.

THE MAID: (drops a large blood stained knife to the ground) I did it !!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: (gasp) Oh No !!

INSPECTOR CLINK: She was shot at point blank range.

THE MAID: (takes out a shotgun from under her petticoat and lays it on the carpet) I did it !!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: (gasp) Oh No !!

INSPECTOR CLINK: The main clue I found was a bloodstained maid’s apron beside the body.

THE MAID: (removing her bloodstained head dress and dropping it onto the floor) It’s mine !!  I did it !!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: (gasp) Oh No !!

INSPECTOR CLINK: I have deduced that the apron is a diversion, planted to draw attention away from the truth. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that this was a suicide …..

ALL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND SERVANTS: (gasp) Oh No !!

INSPECTOR CLINK: ….. and you are all free to carry on with the Ball. (turning to THE MAID) Come on Doris. Let’s go home. What’s for dinner tonight?

(All LADIES AND GENTLEMEN and SERVANTS carry on with the party)

while

(INSPECTOR CLINK and THE MAID, arm in arm, walk off, stage right)

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Curtain closes

A stage curtain

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Ralph xox

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Sombrillas de Brezo

Looking back on why I came to Spain, I suppose it was for the Sun, the Sea, the Sex and the Sangria. Now, for me, a hit rate of zero out of four is pretty good !! Well, it’s raining. I live in the mountains. My passport says: Sex … Male (does that count?). And I don’t like Sangria !!

So I have to do something to make up for my lack of the four Esses. A friend invited me to visit their local business as she had pity on me and this is what I found >>

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Have you ever had a funny sunburn? What happened?

separatorI am two posts away from my 100th post.  I need ideas from you to make it a special.

(Did I hear, “Delete this blog and move to Facebook !!” hehe !!)  :)

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Ralph xox

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Dr Ralph. PhUn. Psychiatrist

"Top Searches" ???

“Top Searches” ???

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Over the last few weeks I have been collecting the weirdest of Top Searches in my dashboard and these are some of what WordPress gave to me :

Crowned knickers

All landmarks of a British Passport

Nipple cuppings

Family jewels castration

Hidden big nipple camera

Uncle Ralph  in Bahamas

Thumbs up penthouse

Small floppy breasts

&

My sister with a mini skirt front of me

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What did I do to get these Top Searches in my Dashboard ??

I need to find answers and fast….. so

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Because of these idiotic weird words I took a crash course in psychiatry at the Bluefish Way School of Psychiatry where I studied the Works of Fried chips and crisps. I worked tirelessly for about 5 seconds and gave myself a doctorate of psychiatry and letters after my name. So I am Dr Ralph. PhUn fun . I have opened my practice in downtown Bluefish Way

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Lie down here and tell me all about it.

Lie down here and tell me all about it.

So come on in !!

Lie down here !!

Comfy ?? A pillow ??

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Have you got crowned knicker problems or something that you need to get off your chest ??

Then tell Dr Ralph. PhUn. all about it :)

separatorSorry, no magazines !! So while you are waiting to see Dr Ralph. PhUn. please click on the meditation fish tank and feed the fish

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Ralph xox

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Toe The Line !!

This post came about when I was visiting Pelly‘s post Siren’s call . While chatting to her about her unique style of photography I remarked on her toes. Well, blow me !! I never knew that there were so many styles of toes dangling off the end of the feet of humanity.

There are these five

There are these five

and a few optional extras

Alien. If you are reading this from a galaxy, far, far away

Alien. If you are reading this from a galaxy, far, far away

Cat's paws. I know a few of you have them !!

Cat’s paws. I know a few of you have them !!

Chicken's feet. If you have these, stay away from KFC !!

Chicken’s feet. If you have these, stay away from KFC !!

separatorPelly has given me permission to use this photo

Left foot is Greek and the other two are Egyptian. NOTE> This is note a three legged person

Left feet are Greek and the other two are Egyptian. NOTE> This is not a four legged person

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So Ladies get your wrinkled stockings off and have a look at which one you are

Kathy Staff playing Nora Batty in Last of the Summer Wine

Kathy Staff playing Nora Batty in Last of the Summer Wine

and Gentlemen, come in from the garden, take your wellies off and have a look too

Jimmy Cricket, comedian, appearing on a pier near you in the UK

Jimmy Cricket, comedian, appearing on a pier near you in the UK

separatorI took a photo of my foot and frightened myself to death. So I will not show my Egyptian foot to you as you may be having your dinner. A certain blogger who shall be nameless,  keeps calling me Ra, maybe there is something in it. :)

separatorSo, who are your toes rooting for ???

separatorIf you are not into toes and fancy playing footsie under the table then you are welcome to watch this

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Love Ra xox

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Einar’s 69th Birthday Party 25Apr13

Washed, shaved, done my hair, Sunday best clothes on and a present for a lady in my hand. IT'S TIME TO PARTY !!

Washed, shaved, done my hair, Sunday best clothes on and a present for a lady in my hand.
IT’S TIME TO PARTY !!

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Thank you Einar & Jenny for a great party with friends

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Did you spot the goof !!

Einar, Norwegian, is pleased as punch with his cake

Einar, Norwegian, is pleased as punch with his cake

Can you tell me Einar’s age from the cake ?

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Ralph The NUTritionist

WARNING

Eating the following may damage your wealth

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FORGET

anything that you have read previously about nutrition.

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RALPH’S DEFINITION OF NUTRITION

It’s rabbit food !!

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I hop

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RALPH’S  BALANCED FOOD DIET

Ralph diet

Yes !! Cakes, chocolate, donuts, cookies, candies, strawberry milk

all with CALORIES, E’s and SUGAR by the bucket full, 

all YUMMEEEEE, SCRUMPTIOUS, TASTY, things !!

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MARSHAMALLOWS are my favourite !!

Marshamallow

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And I have finally found my SPANISH BIMBO

Not quite what I expected !!

My Spanish Bimbo

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STAR, my rescued kitten, has banned me from using the hob

If I attempt to cook she steps onto the on/off button and it beeps !!

No cooking Daddy

It’s thirsty work guarding the hob from Daddy !!

Star drinking point

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So follow my advice. Stay away from rabbit food and eat, eat, eat lovely things !!

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OFFICIAL REPORT

There is scientific evidence from the Bluefish Way Labs that the loss of Ralph’s

teeth was due to eating Brazil nuts without removing the shell munching through

many tons of cakes, chocolates, candies and sugar during his life time.

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Ooooh !! That’s a  ………. !!

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Am I a naughty boy and need a firm hand to feed control me ??

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Pure Love

I am going to tell you a story of how I found Pure Love or how Pure Love found me. Our meeting changed me forever. It is not a story of man and woman but a tale of Love, True Love, Eternal Love. It has nothing to do with religion, politics or humanity just Pure Love.

My body and brain tell me all the time that I belong to this world, that there is nothing else but living, existing, surviving; but my heart teaches me to go with my body and brain to a certain level when the heart takes control. Pure Love taught me that.

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I was doing nothing special in my back garden/yard in England a few years ago. Pottering around, sweeping, weeding, tidying, enjoying a summer afternoon of sun, warmth and well-being. Then Pure Love hit me. The aromas of all the flowers in the world and beyond engulfed all my senses, filled my very being. A concentrated spray of Lavender, Violets, Roses, Jasmine etc. etc. surrounded and entered me, hand in hand with Pure Love. I did not exist. Pure Love welled up inside me and burst through my eyes in tears of Joy, Love and Peace.

I cried and cried.

And gradually the experience left me, leaving me a small  treasure chest of Pure Love in my heart.

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I am not perfect by any means. I love to play, flirt and have fun. My posts are an outlet for me to do just that. I can say what I want when I want. I have visited many of you throughout the world and you are all the same to differing degrees. You are talented with your writing, poetry, painting, photography, cooking and craft work etc. You also have the same relationship problems, illnesses, bereavements, work issues, haunting pasts etc. Different ?? No. Only what our body, brain and Fox News tells us.

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<< So I open my small treasure chest and pass to each and every one of you >>

Pure Love

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Use it well

Ralph xox

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Hair Today. Gone Tomorrow !!

Before

Before

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Yesterday was a big Samson and Delilah moment for me. I had my hair cut. Not by a professional but by a friend who wishes to remain anonymous. So I won’t mention Hilda. I won’t say that HILDA had made me light headed or even say that HILDA had taken all the strength from me as I will respect HILDA’s wishes and not mention HILDA at all !!

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After

After

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So what do you reckon ??  I prefer my hair long, makes me strong !! Or should I go for a skinhead look or maybe a mohican ??

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Would you take a chainsaw to my golden locks ??

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Are You Liking Me ??

Like me or ......

Like me or ……

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Time for some more fun !! Do you remember in October last year you all followed me because of my damned hat ?? Well this is the  sequel LIKE. Many months of work went into producing this epic post they’ll believe anything !!

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A group LIKE

A group LIKE

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I have spent many hours on my couch inspecting the inside of my eyelids and I have narrowed the reasons why I LIKE your posts down to three words, it’s because

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I love you

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I love you

I love you

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The rules are very simple they have to be because I am !! pick one or more of the following and tell me, Ralph, I press your like button because:

1) I can’t get out of here fast enough

2) I want to go and read a good blog

3) I need to draw attention to myself because I am a better blogger

4) I only speak Polish and don’t understand a word.

5) I want to get my legs waxed.

6) I really do not know what to say as you are a mad man

7) I wet myself laughing

8) You have shown me how not to blog

9) My avatar is pretty

10) I love you

11) I am lonely and I need you to like me, I am so desperate. I need
the attention I deserve. I am free Wednesday afternoon, or any
afternoon, or day, or week. OMG. I just want to be liked !! Do you hear
me !! Like me back !! Now !!

12) I just haven’t a clue what you go on about

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Have you pressed my LIKE button ?

Not that one !! The one on my post !!

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(Thanks Google for the pictures)

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