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The Magnificent Seven. Post 1 of 2

These 2 posts are inspired by Drake …..

Drake

….. who made this comment in my last post.

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Last week Toni, my neighbour, came up to my apartment to take photographs of me for an OOTD (Outfit Of The Day) post, but it never quite happened as we thought because we ……

…… HAD FUN !

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I wear many hats.  Not that I can do different things. It’s just that I wear many hats.

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Toni and I decided to take stills of Ralph’s Greatest movies ever that I’m bound to star in.  :star:

Here goes.  The first 4 movies of 7.

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1.

Hint:   Sci-fi.  What ?  No stars in the sky ?

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2.

Hint:   “You are a dead man, Shames Pond”

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Hint:   Stalking you is my speciality. I can see what you are NOT wearing.

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4.

Hint:  Desirable desert dame for dessert.

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:star: :star: :star: :star: :star:

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I know you want to click this photo for the big photo fellas

I know you want to click this photo for the big picture Guys. And Ladies this is how an OOTD should be done. lol

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:star: :star: :star: :star: :star:

So you want me on the red carpet. (Well you’ll have to wine and dine me first ! )

Mind you, this is nothing compared to next week’s movie #7 !

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Thanks Toni for taking these photographs.

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Can you put titles to these movies in your usual wacky, weird way ?

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Ralph xox <3  :star:

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Next week.  Same time.  Same place.  New shocking movie stills.  Free popcorn.

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Dream Party

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Ralph & Ralph. Yes. there are two of us in the village !

Ralph & Ralph. Yes. there are two of us in the village !

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Jenny (left) & Einar (right) invited me to their 6th wedding anniversary party at La Parra Bar, Canada del Real Tesoro, Andalucia, Spain. Thanks friends !

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Margaret says, “The wine goes in here, not all over the table.”

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Linda saying, “Where’s my wine gone !”

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~ BLAST OFF ! ~

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Augustina, Ralph & Jolie. December 2012. And, oh, they are both married. Shame really !

Augustina, Ralph & Jolie. December 2012. And, oh, they are both married. Shame really. For me !

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(Click for a really BIG Ralph)

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Do you dream about me ?

If so, see your doctor ;)

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Ralph xox <3

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Ploughfit Of The Day

I would like to dedicate this fun fashion post to my friend in Germany ……..

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Julia

….. as she wrote this comment in a previous post …..

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…… which made me think.  (I do sometimes ;) )

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I asked her how this would work and I am waiting for her reply.

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OOTD ?  Heck !  Panic !  What do I wear ?  Where do I go ?  Do I need a catwalk ?

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Okay.  No catwalk !  And you cats have torn most of my clothes to shreds.  I must think !

I need practice and ideas before posting with Julia.

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I went outside into the sun taking my perplexion with me.

There I leant over the rear balcony wall and looking to the left was startled to see an, unknown to me, young woman ploughing a field.

I could practice a fashion post about her !

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Ploughfit Of The Day

Hello bubbly lubblies <3

Welcome to my first fashion post from the mountains of Andalucia, southern Spain.

My guest today is Senorita Tilla Furrow who is so happy to share with you one of her outfits in her Spring collection.

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(click for the bigger picture)

Senorita Tilla Furrow strutting her stuff.

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TRAINERS by Nike Yikes

SKIN TIGHT PYJAMA BOTTOMS by PJs R US

T-SHIRT by Ceylon Tea

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Then looking to the right from my rear balcony I see more practice for my fashion post with Julia.

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Pre-moisturising Brush

Hello jubbly bubblies <3

This product is new to the Spanish valley market.  We have bestoke goat & sheep cheese and designer wines.  Added to these we now have a new pre-moisturising brush for cleaning out your dry personal water channels.

Makes you cry with happiness, doesn’t it ?

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(click for the bigger picture)

Demonstrating the product is Senora Sandy Sweep.

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You really need this pre-moisturising brush for your dry water channels.

Buy none, get as many as you want FREE !

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~ I think those practice posts went well, don’t you ? ~

Then. Yay !  Julia replied to my query.

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Spoil sport Sonic ! 

All I need now is an idea.  For instance, Victoria’s Ralph’s Secret. 

My finding a photographer also helps.

Thanks Julia.  We’ll do something in a few weeks if after reading this post you are still game !

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What do you guys/gals think ?

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Ralph xox <3

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This is my 250th post and you are still skimming reading my posts.  You & I must get a life ;)

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Sparkly Vultures

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(click for the larger picture)

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Photo taken from my rear balcony (click for the larger picture)

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Every brown "rock" is a vulture  under the olive tree about 300m from the front balcony of my apartment

Every brown “rock” is a vulture (40+) around and under the olive trees about 100m from the front balcony of my apartment

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Are you sparkly clean ?

If not, maybe you need help with the dish washing  ;)

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Ralph xox <3

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Head Banger

Most of you with laptops, desktop PCs & Windows have experienced this !

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2am.  I switched off my laptop.  Oh no.  A Microsoft update !

1 of 18 !  10 minutes later 2 of 18 ! ……  Zzzz

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Morning !  I woke up (I do that sometimes).  Switched on my laptop.  Made a coffee.  Brought the cup back to the desk and …….

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…….Windows 7 wouldn’t load.  Seized !

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After 1/2 hour of troubleshooting and retrying I had a “Yay!” moment, I was in ! 

Then I opened my Outlook to see what emails came in overnight.  No Internet !

So down I went, under my desk.  Cutting power to the gizmos, wiggling cables …….

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….. nothing !   No change !   Then I banged my head getting up !

CLUNK !

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  I didn’t do what this guy did.   Shoot the laptop !

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Click for full story

And it wasn’t a bird on my antenna.

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One last thing to try.  System Restore.  Yay, I am online ! 

Bye, bye Microsoft update.

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I helped Toni, my neighbour, who was cleaning my apartment, to move the sofa to extract the countless cats’ toys which they had patted underneath. (Sorry about the cat moment then.)

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The ceiling light was ready to attack me !

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WHACK !

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“Got ‘im !” swung the light !

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BONK !

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“Heehee !” laughed the sofa.

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CLANG !

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It was at this point I gave up helping Toni.

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Well, Toni, who is knee high to a grasshopper, didn’t know what the fuss was all about !

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The final results:

Laptop & Internet 3  ………………. Ralph 0

Ceiling light 3 ………. Ralph 0

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Are you a sore loser ?

I was.   Well, my head was.

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Ralph xox <3

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House Trained

This post is dedicated to Wendy who uses the train sometimes.

Wendy

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Would you get off and visit me ?

( I shouldn’t if I was you as you may leave with 2 crazy cats in your bag { and me ! } if you do leave that is  ;) )

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Ralph xox <3

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All these photographs were taken on my front balcony in Andalucia, Spain.

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(Next week I may try to post something different. Can’t wait !)

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My Little Black Book

I’ve got to go to Court !

I’m being had up for being a terrible kisser I think, so says “Liposuction Side Effects”.

*suck & slurp*

It must have been all the spam I had !

(I didn’t open the zip file)

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I also had spam to appear in the same Court on Easter Sunday for not paying a toll in ( I think ) the USA.

I haven’t got a car and I live in Spain.

I’ll lose the case !

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And now on to the post.

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Sorry Samantha. My hands and balance are even worse after my final session of The Drip.

Maria, Ralph & Mariam. This was taken at 10am. I was up at 5am ! Tired before the drip started !

Maria, Ralph & Mariam. (This photo was taken at 10am 07 April. I was up at 5am and was tired before the drip itself even started.  Finished at 4pm. Whew !)

No more IVs. Yay ! Just tests in 3 month’s time.

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I haven’t got a Little Black Book. A Microsoft Notepad with lots of blogs and author names, yes !

This is a third of all the names

This is about a third of all the commenters names I have

You see, when I first started receiving comments, I wanted (still do ) to be friendly and use the author’s name in my replies. Sometimes I couldn’t find names which was difficult for me and things could get a little weird. Such as >>>>>

IMAGINARY BLOG.                                                   MY IMAGINARY COMMENT

My Love For Lorn And Becka……………..That’s really sad For Lorn.
Forgetting My Pants………………………Thanks Forgetting My Pants.
Writing Made Simple…………………….. I’ve got it Made.
Keeping Abreast Of Life…………………..You’ve got a handful there Abreast.
A Wee Scottish Blog……………………… I really needed that Wee.

I am even starting to remember some of your names without referring to my Little Black Book Notepad.

So if your name is Ten Ton Tony from Tonga, please comment so I can add you to my list !

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Are you a real or imaginary blogger ?

I think you are imaginary, lost & bewildered.

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Ralph xox <3

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All, except one of these photographs were taken in my Salon in Spain.

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Spanish Baby Liam & The Californian Bear

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Oh, come on cats ! They are good kids. And Sonic, stop ripping up my pants !

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Some of you, dear commenters, have asked how Liam is. Liam is Toni & Pedro’s baby. The stork bought him to my neighbour’s house in our Spanish village late last December.

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Liam and Ralph. December 2014

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And then, out of the blue, Marsha …..

Marsha

…..sent a lovely soft toy which happens to be Manny’s big brother…….

Manny

…… all the way from California, USA, to Liam in the mountains of Andalucia, Spain.

Lammy was cooped up in the parcel for 24 days with no air holes. Poor bear !

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Lammy is Liam’s first and only soft toy.

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Liam and Lammy. April 2015

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Her husband Pedro away for the day, Toni brought her children up to my apartment for a photo shoot with Lammy for this post and to send to Marsha.

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Eidan, Toni, Lammy, Liam and Ariadne

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Ralph with baby and bear

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Everyone was thrilled how well these photos came out.

Toni says thank you so much Marsha for your kind gift all the way from the USA :D

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Sonic ! Stop it ! It’s the nurses, isn’t it ?

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Do you get jealous ?

of me with the nurses ? :D

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My final session of The Drip is tomorrow. Then we’ll see what happens over the next six months. Maybe I can publish a semi-reasonable post during that time :D

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Ralph xox <3

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Playing, Dancing & Posing

I just wanted to show you this comment from the Spanish nurse Ana in the previous post. It came in towards the end, so many of you would have missed it. Isn’t she sweet !

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And now on to the post.

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Last Thursday.

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Come on cats ! This was my third session of having my arm filled with medication ! Just because you went flying out of bed when the alarm clock clattered away at 5am doesn’t mean that you have to get your own back and tell everyone !

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By 8am it was time to play with the nurses in Ronda hospital.

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Ralph and Paqui ( Head shift nurse )

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Miriam

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Maria, Miriam & Ralph

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Mariam, Ralph & Maria

Maria, under the supervision of Paqui, did very well in putting the needle in, drawing my blue English blood. I didn’t feel a thing. Just a prick ! Oh, that’s me !

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Later that day.

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Are you psychic Samantha ?

I sat in that chair for over 5 hours. Once the drip bags were empty and my arm restored to a bandaged normality, I just had to run to the loo. My legs wanted to do something else as I stood up.

They danced !

The Spanish nurses gasped in either delight or panic with hands over their mouths as I danced a new mix of Swan Lake, Break Dancing and The Moon Walk in about 4 steps. I promptly sat back down amazed at what just happened ! Boy ! That drip was something else !

Fred Don’tstare eat your heart out !

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An hour or so later.

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Right again Samantha.

I had my photo taken in a little park, more like a small public concrete patio by a cliff !

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Cortes de la Frontera, Spain. I live way, way, way down in the valley behind the church ….. I think ! (Click for the big picture)

I tried my best poses as the sun was setting. I should have got a stand-in !

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Cortes de la Frontera

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Eventually, 12 hours after leaving for the hospital I arrived back home to the welcoming scratches of Sonic climbing up my leg in his happiness of my return.

Well, I think they were welcoming scratches !

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Do you get told off for getting home late ?

I do. I am always in trouble !

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Ralph xox <3

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Side Effect

Please meet Ana (who gave me permission to use this photo).

Ana is the Spanish shift nurse in charge. Very kind, happy and professional.

So far I have had no medical side effects from the Rituximab drip. My hands and balance are a little worse that’s all. I must stop thinking about doing a high wire act ;)

The only side effect I have had so far is Ana standing at my side which did have an effect on me :D

Two sessions down. Two more to go !

Click for large size

Click for large size

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 Time for some fun with you my bloggy friends.

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As you know I am totally in love with you my real imaginary friend !

And this is your reaction (I think).

I absolutely (unreadable) adore (unreadable) Ralph because >>>>

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1. I am really fussy about my man. Ralph is the only one for me as Mr Right, Mr Wrong and all in between are taken.

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2. He’s sad, single and has cats. Heehee ! Oh, he has an apartment and an income. Sign here Ralph !

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3. Reading this post is better than twiddling my thumbs at work.

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4. I just got fired for reading this post at work.

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 5. He always likes my posts if I lik his ! … oh, and he corrects my typos when I comment !

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6. He has shown me how to become an Astronomer. I read his posts which has the effect of me hitting myself over my head with my laptop and I see stars. :star: :star: :star:

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7. When I see his photo my imagination runs wild. Reminds me of visiting a Safari Park.

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8. After reading his posts I lay in bed tossing and turning. I wish the ship’s captain would stabilize this cruise ship !

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9. I would love to run my fingers through his hair, but that would be such a waste of good fish fingers !

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10. He can unlock my chastity belt any time ! Well, I AM young looking for my 327 years though a bit rusty !

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11. My psychiatrist says he would be good for me. The psychiatrist, not Ralph !

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12. My mother warned me about talking to strange men. That’s okay as Ralph is odd. Did I just say odd or strange ?

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13. I want him for my husband. It’s not that I am desperate. More like suicidal if he says yes !

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14. (Please insert your own reason in comments. Or don’t ! Whatever !)

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So you do love me after all !

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Ralph xox <3

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