post

House Trained

This post is dedicated to Wendy who uses the train sometimes.

Wendy

c25

c1

c2

c3

c4

c5

c6

c7

c8

c25

c13

c14

c15

c16

c17

c18

c19

c20

c21

c22

c23

c25

c9

c25

c24

c25

c10

c11

c12

c25

Would you get off and visit me ?

( I shouldn’t if I was you as you may leave with 2 crazy cats in your bag { and me ! } if you do leave that is  ;) )

c25

Ralph xox <3

c25

All these photographs were taken on my front balcony in Andalucia, Spain.

c25

(Next week I may try to post something different. Can’t wait !)

post

My Little Black Book

I’ve got to go to Court !

I’m being had up for being a terrible kisser I think, so says “Liposuction Side Effects”.

*suck & slurp*

It must have been all the spam I had !

(I didn’t open the zip file)

b1

I also had spam to appear in the same Court on Easter Sunday for not paying a toll in ( I think ) the USA.

I haven’t got a car and I live in Spain.

I’ll lose the case !

b2

And now on to the post.

b2

 b22

b17

b23

Sorry Samantha. My hands and balance are even worse after my final session of The Drip.

Maria, Ralph & Mariam. This was taken at 10am. I was up at 5am ! Tired before the drip started !

Maria, Ralph & Mariam. (This photo was taken at 10am 07 April. I was up at 5am and was tired before the drip itself even started.  Finished at 4pm. Whew !)

No more IVs. Yay ! Just tests in 3 month’s time.

b2

b13

b21

b12

b20

b11

b10

b9

b19

I haven’t got a Little Black Book. A Microsoft Notepad with lots of blogs and author names, yes !

This is a third of all the names

This is about a third of all the commenters names I have

You see, when I first started receiving comments, I wanted (still do ) to be friendly and use the author’s name in my replies. Sometimes I couldn’t find names which was difficult for me and things could get a little weird. Such as >>>>>

IMAGINARY BLOG.                                                   MY IMAGINARY COMMENT

My Love For Lorn And Becka……………..That’s really sad For Lorn.
Forgetting My Pants………………………Thanks Forgetting My Pants.
Writing Made Simple…………………….. I’ve got it Made.
Keeping Abreast Of Life…………………..You’ve got a handful there Abreast.
A Wee Scottish Blog……………………… I really needed that Wee.

I am even starting to remember some of your names without referring to my Little Black Book Notepad.

So if your name is Ten Ton Tony from Tonga, please comment so I can add you to my list !

b2

b18a

b16b

b18b

b16c

b2

Are you a real or imaginary blogger ?

I think you are imaginary, lost & bewildered.

b2

Ralph xox <3

b2

All, except one of these photographs were taken in my Salon in Spain.

post

Spanish Baby Liam & The Californian Bear

b23a

b23b

b23c

b8

b7

b6

b5

b4

Oh, come on cats ! They are good kids. And Sonic, stop ripping up my pants !

b2

Some of you, dear commenters, have asked how Liam is. Liam is Toni & Pedro’s baby. The stork bought him to my neighbour’s house in our Spanish village late last December.

b1

Liam and Ralph. December 2014

b2

And then, out of the blue, Marsha …..

Marsha

…..sent a lovely soft toy which happens to be Manny’s big brother…….

Manny

…… all the way from California, USA, to Liam in the mountains of Andalucia, Spain.

Lammy was cooped up in the parcel for 24 days with no air holes. Poor bear !

b22

Lammy is Liam’s first and only soft toy.

b21

Liam and Lammy. April 2015

b20

b18

Her husband Pedro away for the day, Toni brought her children up to my apartment for a photo shoot with Lammy for this post and to send to Marsha.

b15

Eidan, Toni, Lammy, Liam and Ariadne

b14

Ralph with baby and bear

b13

b11

Everyone was thrilled how well these photos came out.

Toni says thank you so much Marsha for your kind gift all the way from the USA :D

b2

b9

b10

Sonic ! Stop it ! It’s the nurses, isn’t it ?

b2

Do you get jealous ?

of me with the nurses ? :D

b2

My final session of The Drip is tomorrow. Then we’ll see what happens over the next six months. Maybe I can publish a semi-reasonable post during that time :D

b2

Ralph xox <3

b2

post

Playing, Dancing & Posing

I just wanted to show you this comment from the Spanish nurse Ana in the previous post. It came in towards the end, so many of you would have missed it. Isn’t she sweet !

p26

p25

And now on to the post.

p25

Last Thursday.

p11

p12

Come on cats ! This was my third session of having my arm filled with medication ! Just because you went flying out of bed when the alarm clock clattered away at 5am doesn’t mean that you have to get your own back and tell everyone !

p25

By 8am it was time to play with the nurses in Ronda hospital.

p7

Ralph and Paqui ( Head shift nurse )

p8

Miriam

p9

Maria, Miriam & Ralph

p10

Mariam, Ralph & Maria

Maria, under the supervision of Paqui, did very well in putting the needle in, drawing my blue English blood. I didn’t feel a thing. Just a prick ! Oh, that’s me !

p25

Later that day.

p16

p18

Are you psychic Samantha ?

I sat in that chair for over 5 hours. Once the drip bags were empty and my arm restored to a bandaged normality, I just had to run to the loo. My legs wanted to do something else as I stood up.

They danced !

The Spanish nurses gasped in either delight or panic with hands over their mouths as I danced a new mix of Swan Lake, Break Dancing and The Moon Walk in about 4 steps. I promptly sat back down amazed at what just happened ! Boy ! That drip was something else !

Fred Don’tstare eat your heart out !

p25

An hour or so later.

p23

p24

p21

p20

p22

Right again Samantha.

I had my photo taken in a little park, more like a small public concrete patio by a cliff !

p2

Cortes de la Frontera, Spain. I live way, way, way down in the valley behind the church ….. I think ! (Click for the big picture)

I tried my best poses as the sun was setting. I should have got a stand-in !

p6

p5

p4

Cortes de la Frontera

p25

Eventually, 12 hours after leaving for the hospital I arrived back home to the welcoming scratches of Sonic climbing up my leg in his happiness of my return.

Well, I think they were welcoming scratches !

p19

p25

Do you get told off for getting home late ?

I do. I am always in trouble !

p25

Ralph xox <3

p25

post

Side Effect

Please meet Ana (who gave me permission to use this photo).

Ana is the Spanish shift nurse in charge. Very kind, happy and professional.

So far I have had no medical side effects from the Rituximab drip. My hands and balance are a little worse that’s all. I must stop thinking about doing a high wire act ;)

The only side effect I have had so far is Ana standing at my side which did have an effect on me :D

Two sessions down. Two more to go !

Click for large size

Click for large size

se3

 Time for some fun with you my bloggy friends.

se3

As you know I am totally in love with you my real imaginary friend !

And this is your reaction (I think).

I absolutely (unreadable) adore (unreadable) Ralph because >>>>

se2

1. I am really fussy about my man. Ralph is the only one for me as Mr Right, Mr Wrong and all in between are taken.

se2

2. He’s sad, single and has cats. Heehee ! Oh, he has an apartment and an income. Sign here Ralph !

se2

3. Reading this post is better than twiddling my thumbs at work.

se2

4. I just got fired for reading this post at work.

se2

 5. He always likes my posts if I lik his ! … oh, and he corrects my typos when I comment !

se2

6. He has shown me how to become an Astronomer. I read his posts which has the effect of me hitting myself over my head with my laptop and I see stars. :star: :star: :star:

se2

7. When I see his photo my imagination runs wild. Reminds me of visiting a Safari Park.

se2

8. After reading his posts I lay in bed tossing and turning. I wish the ship’s captain would stabilize this cruise ship !

se2

9. I would love to run my fingers through his hair, but that would be such a waste of good fish fingers !

se2

10. He can unlock my chastity belt any time ! Well, I AM young looking for my 327 years though a bit rusty !

se2

11. My psychiatrist says he would be good for me. The psychiatrist, not Ralph !

se2

12. My mother warned me about talking to strange men. That’s okay as Ralph is odd. Did I just say odd or strange ?

se2

13. I want him for my husband. It’s not that I am desperate. More like suicidal if he says yes !

se2

14. (Please insert your own reason in comments. Or don’t ! Whatever !)

se3

So you do love me after all !

se3

Ralph xox <3

se3

post

Rats !

ra1

ra2

ra3

ra4

ra5

ra6

ra7

ra8

ra9

ra10

ra11

ra12

ra13

ra14

ra15

ra23

ra16

ra17

ra18

ra19

ra23

Since my whole day of drips on Thursday I have had no change with my hands and no reaction such as growing wings or chasing nurses.

I have to go back and do it all again another three times, three days over three weeks.

Rats !

ra23

I talk to my pets. Do you ?

(I must talk to a human sometime ;) )

ra23

Ralph xox <3

ra23

post

A Close Shave

Men CAN multi-task !

s33

Just to prove it, I am going to have a shave with a wet razor and take selfies at the same time with trembling hands.

Are you belted in as these photos whizz by really fast ?

s33

Before (with stubble)

s29

Foamed up and ……

s21

s20

…… GO !!!

s19

s18

s15

s14

s13

s33

Whew ! I must take a break for a second !

s33

This reminds me of a story.

 A few years ago a female friend suggested I shaved my parts that other women try to dare not reach.

I listened to her and acted accordingly.

NEVER AGAIN !

For a week I walked around bow-legged …….

s32

…… because I was in agony due to a hedgehog rolling in cacti ……

s30

…… in my underwear !

s26

s33

Ready ?

Resume shaving !

s12

s11

s10

s9

s8

s7

s6

s5

s4

s3

s2

Whew ! That was fast ! A 3 second shave !

s33

And the final result is ?

s31

Ooops ! Wrong photo ! ….. the final result is ?

s23

s33

My favourite photo in this batch ( as seen on America’s Most Wanted ;) ) is …..

s7

s33

I expect you have seen men pulling funny faces at different times !

So, when do you pull a funny face ?

…. other than your normal look :D

s33

Ralph xox <3

s33

(The egret, cacti and Clooney photos were found on a Google search and are not mine. The rest are mine. *making a funny face*)

PS. In four days time it will be the third attempt of having the long awaited Rituximab drip. It all depends on the results of the latest ECG and blood test. Oh boy ! The first two adverse side effects in this link are death and disability. I’m bound to have something worse ! :D

post

What The Ophiuchus Is Going On ?

w8

Many thousands of years ago there lived in a far middle eastern land ……

w41

…… a wise man ……

w5

…….. named El Ralphio of  WadiPress.

w8

He had 1578 goat herding followers …….

w4

…… and he spent his days consulting the oogle Oracle.

w43

w8

Nights were spent singing traditional goat songs around the camp fire ……

w46

“But, YouTube hasn’t been invented yet !” cried El Ralphio of WadiPress’s 1343 followers.

w8

One day, while loitering on the local mountain side, a flash of inspiration came upon El Ralphio of WadiPress.

w21

The oogle Oracle spoke to him, saying,

“Join the dots……

w42

“But, the pencil hasn’t been invented yet !” cried the 1127 followers.

……and create the Zodiac !”

w45

w2

“But, the car hasn’t been invented yet !” cried the 928 followers of El Ralphio.

w8

But wise El Ralphio of WadiPress wisely wisdomised the meaning of the joining of the dots.

12 groups of lines between stars and the Zodiac was born.

w3

w8

To mark this day of oogle Oracle brilliance, El Ralphio of WadiPress was presented with a new throne from the people of the Like tribe.

w7

w8

” But, the lines for Capricorn don’t look like a goat !” cried El Ralphio of WadiPress’s 553 followers (who are now revolting !).

w33

El Ralphio of WadiPress then spake this immortal word,

” WHAT ??”

and added,

“Thousands of years in the future, people will read their stars in the newspaper. Reading words such as,

“Capricorn ! You are horny and have a great butt !”

w36

“But, the newspaper hasn’t  been invented yet !” cried his 275 followers.

w8

El Ralphio of WadiPress devised a cunning plan to confuse, in thousands of years’ time, his descendant, Ralph of WordPress, who would think he was a Sagittarian as he was born on the 15th of December.

w11

w12

w23

El Ralphio of WadiPress secretly inserted a 13th group of lines into the zodiac and he called this one Ophiuchus, basically a man playing with his big snake.

w17

Ralph of WordPress is totally confused now !

He shouldn’t be as he doesn’t read his daily stars, as there are no daily newspapers in the mountains of southern Spain. Oh, and he’s an Ophiuchan now and who would want to write about a 13th daily star sign !

w28

w18

What does this mean ?

That’s definitely Ralph of WordPress in the video, but he does love cats !

w8

“As well as the Zodiac I have created a land in the west by joining the dots. I’m brilliant !” cried El Ralphio of WadiPress, as his last follower left him.

w32

w8

El Ralphio of WadiPress was last heard of when he wandered off to find Spain with his two cats……

w31

…… while consulting the oogle Oracle on the way.

w43

w8

Nowadays, Ralph of WordPress consults the Google Oracle in Spain with his two cats……

w47

…..while trying to work out how to join dots.

w15

w8

Do you have a wacky ancestor, or are you a wacky descendant ?

I know which one YOU are !

w8

Ralph xox <3

w8

All these images were found on a Google search and are NOT mine !

post

CATch Us If You Can !

f1

f4

f3

f2

f44

f5

f6

f7

f44

f8

f9

f10

f11

f12

f13

f44

f14

f15

f16

f17

f18

f19

f44

f20

f21

f22

f44

f23

f24

f44

f25

f26

f44

f27

f28

f44

f29

f30

f31

f32

f33

f44

f34

f44

f35

f36

f44

f37

f38

f39

f40

f41

f42

f43

f44

So what do your pets, kids, partners, grandparents get up to when you are out of the house ?

f44

Ralph xox <3

f44

post

I Am Sure You Have adVICE For Me !

I’ve been thinking about doing some DIY, but it’s cold and it’s February here in Spain …..

*thinks* My followers don’t know what day it is, let alone what month !

d1

…..so I had better get on with this week’s post instead.

d2

Many of you already know that I am not perfect medically ( Oh, okay ! Mentally as well ! ) and I’m passed it !

But !

I also have a VICE !

d32

Not THAT sort of VICE !

d2

I don’t run around chasing or be chased by women.

Not even women with money.

d3

Not even strong women …..

d4

….. nor flexible women.

d5

So women are not my VICE !

*thinks* They’ll believe anything I say !

d2

I don’t gamble.

d6

d7

So gambling is not my VICE !

*thinks* I bet $5 they’ll fall for this !

d2

I never drink alone.

d11

My cats drink though ! Real water slushes they are !

d14

d13

Maybe I’ll have a little at parties, but that’s it.

GIFSec.com

I don’t drink a lot of coffee as it’s bad for me…..

d12

….. so ….

d8

Drinking is not my VICE then !

*thinks* I reckon my followers are on their 3rd bottle of wine already today !

d2

I am not power crazy.

d15

d17

So being power mad is not my VICE !

*thinks* Okay ! I’ll do what you tell me mistress !

d2

I am no glutton. ( A glutton for punishment….. definitely !  )

d23

d21

d22

I do like cakes though.

d18

I was egged on by my cats to say that !

d24

Gluttony is not the VICE !

*thinks* I wonder where they keep their stash of chocolates ? Next to the wine I suppose.

d2

SO WHAT IS IT ?

d2

I smoke roll ups !

d25

I have been smoking for 53 years. Since I was 15.

d30

I even had girlfriends who smoked.

d26

My father and grandfather smoked and lived into their 90s.

d27

Whereas I had 2 uncles. One gave up cigarettes and the other didn’t smoke. Both died in their 50s with unrelated cancers.

d28

This is a no brainer. I’m going to live into my 90s.

d32

I never smoke indoors or in a car.

d31

d29

So that’s my VICE !

*thinks* Now we’re smokin’ !

d2

My Neurologist asks me how’s my smoking and I reply,

” Fine. Thank you for asking. “

She’s not worried.

d33

 I may not be Politically Correct. I may have lost many followers. I may be meringued harangued by all of you for smoking. So please be kind in your comments or I may huff & puff and take up more VICES ;)

d34

*thinks* Whew.  I should get off lightly with this lot !

d2

Ralph xox <3

d2

(All of these gifs and images were found on Google Search and are NOT mine. All the vices mentioned in this post are not mine except for smooching smoking.)

PS.  I’ll answer any comments when I get back from having an ECG at Ronda hospital. They are checking to see if I have a heart, which happens to be a bit too late for Valentine’s Day ! ;)

Speaking Incessantly

What my brain cooks, my mouth serves up!

Tina J.S

A dreamer

Fiery Tail Imagery

To see all images in large format click on images in my portfolio below

Swim in the Adult Pool

Finding humor in an ADHD life without water wings

angelswhisper2011

Me and my Granny

Grateful Geek

Get your geek on!

dreamshadow59

A great WordPress.com site

Petals Unfolding

~The Embrace of Love ~

Chantal and Shekinah

Follow me and my kitten's daily life. Fashion & lifestyle blogger

An Unexpected Life Chosen

A freelance writer, clairvoyant medium, credit manager, chakra meditation teacher, traveller, animal lover, past-life healer, and a change advocate.........having walked many paths, I ask; did I really sign up for this?

Welcome to ghost talk blog

A forum for spiritual topics, spirit communication, Near Death Experiences, ghost stories, UFOs, and all things paranormal...

purpleslobinrecovery

from purple slob to clean queen

the wounded healer

Being a patient and a Doctor

Graffiti Lux and Murals

Luxuriating in Ephemeral Art

Before Sundown

remember what made you smile

My Grandfather was an Undertaker

The resting place of my feelings, buried within poetry and stories

The Eclectic Poet

Karin Bole Tupper ~ Thoughts, Musings, Dreams... Painted In Words

Queen's end

The Fifth Corner of Life

quirkybooks

Read the difference

Pain in the Peg

Posts on Posts

Not A Punk Rocker

Embracing my dorkiness, embarrassing my kid & blogging for the hell of it.

pambrittain

Life is good. Of course, it'll kill you, so enjoy while you can.

Illustration is the passion of my life!

Ellaella

Journey of education, illness and fitness.

Englishman in Italy

An Englishman, his Sicilian wife and an Italian / English Dictionary

Once Upon Your Prime

Where You Live Happily Ever Laughter!

shehanne moore

Smexy Historical Romance

Spanish scribbles

My journey into sketching and drawing in and around Jimena de la Frontera, Andalucia

fashionable over 50

fashion with compassion

Ivy Mosquito | Liberating My Creative Soul

Peace. Nature. Photography. Crafts. Projects. Me.

Busy Mind Thinking

Wait! What?!

BroadBlogs

A broad blogs broadly on women’s & men's psychology: sex, relationships, equality

Art Gowns

The Art of Glamorous Fantasy

Manny's Blog

a blog for kids and kids at heart

Stories From the Belly

A Blog About the Female Body and Its Appetites

Loving Food, Fashion, & Life

My love of food, fashion, and living life.

1950 Memories of Suburban Adventures

Mostly humorous stories with Buddha-like observations

Heila

Adding new dimensions to life

HotDish

The singularly most delicious things I have ever eaten anywhere

I didn't have my glasses on....

A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,661 other followers

%d bloggers like this: